CAREGIVING WITH A LOVING TOUCH
By Nancy Dutton

Caregiving requires
Listening and a loving touch
Special time together.

Part-time caregiving of family and friends shows up in many forms. Opportunities exist to give care to people in the dying process, people with low vision and hearing loss, people with Alzheimer’s, and people recovering from surgery or injuries.

As a part-time caregiver, remind the care recipient that their physical situation does not diminish their value as a human being. Encourage the person to do whatever makes them feel good and independent, if possible. Laughter is great medicine. Gentle massage soothes those who enjoy touch.

I have helped several care recipients with various degrees of low vision. Some of them want the caregiver to gently hold their elbow and guide them where to walk. A slow, unhurried pace is preferred. If possible, stop at curbs slightly in front of them, so they know where the curb is. Many people with low vision enjoy using a cane. Ask their preference, if they want you to hold their arm or if they want to walk independently, with you there as a safety net…

If the person is housebound and if their vision and physical ability allows, I encourage them to do something they enjoy, such as writing, painting, looking at photographs or scrapbooking. I have found that creative activities increase a sense of well-being and provide a distraction from problems.

Before automatically rushing to help a care recipient, ask first if they want your help. Listen to their needs, not what you think you would like in this situation. Their needs and wishes could be totally opposite from yours.

When helping non-family members to doctors’ appointments, you should always ask the person if they would like you to join them during the doctor visit or if they wish for you to sit outside in the waiting room.

Taking good care of yourself, the caregiver, is also important. Ask someone to relieve you and go walk around the block, do something with a friend, or whatever brings you joy. This will help you feel better and recharge your battery, so you will be have more energy and be in a better mood.

Rewards for the caregiver are immense. It is heart-warming to see a smile on someone’s face as they relay tender stories about their life. Priceless is the feeling of helping someone who needs your assistance. A caregiver lightens the load and provides daily living support. The care recipient feels valued, loved and cherished with the attention provided by a considerate caregiver.

Nancy Dutton is the author of the Book of Animal Poetry, http://www.nancysworld.us.

Excerpts from articlei first printed in the November/December 2010 issue of CAREConnections, Boulder County Aging Services

Wishing everyone a great holiday season and Happy New Year !

For stubborn cats who do not mind, you can get them off the counters or other unwanted places by using a handheld LED, red laser light. They can chase the red dot all over the place!

Brothers for Life

Hello Nancy,

I’m about to add a photo!

The unique corpse flower is supposed to bloom soon in Houston, Texas at The Houston Museum of Natural Science.

All media and people are waiting for this unusual flower to bloom and let off its stinky smell.

Here’s a haiku I wrote and submitted online to a Houston newspaper.

Google “corpse flower, Houston” for updates and to watch it online when it blooms.

Corpse flower blooming
beauty for the world to see
revealing secrets

           “Remember me always, but do not grieve for me too

long. I have tried always to comfort you in times of

sorrow, and have made every effort to add joy to your

life.  I never wanted to cause you pain.

Peace for me is certain now, and I suspect I will have

eternal sleep in the Earth I do so well.

Please, after your period of grieving for me, make room

in your heart for another.  You are the kind of human

being that should always have a friend like me to love.

Your kind and gentle heart should not be wasted on my

memory for too long.  Give your love to another.  I know

your new friend will never take my place, because we

had something very special.

It may not be quite the same, but a new devoted and

loving companion will in time, become special in their

own way.

Right now is the season where animal shelters have many kittens who need homes.

I have adopted both older cats and young kittens - they all deserve a loving, safe environment.

Please consider adopting an older cat when you visit the shelters.

They make beautiful, loving animals. We adopted two older cats a number of years ago-we reunited a brother and sister! They filled our lives with lots of love, and we are so happy we adopted them.

Many of these older cats will live the rest of their lives at the shelter if someone does not adopt them. Worse yet, some shelters may euthanize them.

Thank you for giving them a chance in your life !

Hi, my article on Writing Haikus Can Be Fun! is now published online through http://www.devokids.com.

Click on the left side where it says WRITE NOW.  

It’s an article on how to write Pet Haikus. You can have fun with children (and other adults) !  Enjoy !

I have written an article about using bicycle horns to train my cats.

Hoping it will be published in a well-read cat or animal magazine in the near future.

Just a note on cat training for those whose cats/kittens are jumping on countertops and other places they are not supposed to be.

I tried spraying them and hissing - that didn’t do a thing.  They squinted their eyes and looked at me.  Eventually one cat started lunging and squatting at the spray bottle - knocked it out of my hand ! Let me say these are loveable, sociable, fun twin kittens, not mean or aggressive in any way, except with the spray bottle.

I tried aluminum foil on the countertops. They found it a great new cat bed to lounge on.

I did all the recommended, known things, but nothing worked.

Finally I bought a boat horn ($10) . It works great, but it’s so loud, I was concerned about damaging both my ears and the cats’ ears. 

Final Solution:

I bought 2 bicycle horns (under $5 each) from Wal-Mart and placed them on the countertop and on the table. The cats now jump off the counters and table, plus it doesn’t damage my ears. The bicycle horns are lthe old-fashioned ones - a big black bulb to squeeze for the horn and a nice chrome design.

Hiking Question:

I have not tried this yet, but why not take a boat or bicycle horn when walking in the wilderness?

Maybe an unexpected, dangerous animal on the trail will run away when they hear it ?!?!?  Let me know if you try it, whether it does or does not work.

Here’s a haiku I wrote for my wonderful canine friend, Murph, who passed away yesterday from lymphoma:

Murph, you warmed our hearts.

We will love you forever,

Our four-legged friend.

February 23, 2010

DEALING WITH GRIEF – Some things that helped me

Remember, if you have any guilt, forgive yourself.

Write out your feelings and experiences.

Do nice things for yourself.

Avoid making major life decisions during this time.

Allow yourself to experience uncomfortable recurring feelings.

Talk about your feelings.

Eat regularly and nutritionally - your body needs nutrition.

Give yourself permission to feel down.

Know there’s no “right” way to feel. Whatever your feelings are, they

are normal, appropriate reactions to an abnormal situation.

One thing that may help is to write on an index card or a piece of paper all of the things your pet loved, your pet’s nicknames plus happy memories.  At the top of the card write:

Fluffy Love (example name).

If you need help, please call the Humane Society nearest you and see if they offer pet grief counseling or can refer you to pet loss support group.

Hope you and your animals have a great Valentine’s Weekend!

For those who have lost a beloved animal…

RAINBOW BRIDGE

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to some-

one here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows

and hills for all our special friends so they can run and

play together. There is plenty of food, water, and sunshine

and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who have been ill and old are restored to health

and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong

again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times

gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small

thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be

left behind. They all run and play together, but the day comes when

one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are

intent; his eager body begins to quiver. Suddenly, he begins to run

from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him

SOUL STEPS

This cat, so wise,

Makes me think & surmise

To take . . . Soul Steps.

She reminds us to take time,

So our health will be fine,

Those little . . . Soul Steps.

Always full of joy,

Never to annoy,

She continues to teach,

Making us reach

For those . . . Soul Steps.

Letting us know,

To continue to grow

Into our . . . Soul Steps.

Never assume,

A new Haiku in loving memory of my writer friend, Albert: 

Albert, cat lover

The meow king of writing

Percolating man.

Albert described himself as “percolating.”
An incredibly gifted writer and animal lover, his eyes lit up as he helped others.

Would you like to simplify your holiday life with essential oils and aromatherapy?  Essential oils make great gifts for adults, kids and animals.  You can have these essential oil and aromatherapy products and kits shipped to your destination, rather than lugging them through the airport.  They are lightweight and can be delivered direct to the door in three days – no need to leave the house!  No shopping or fighting the crowds. 

The following story will illustrate a few ways essential oils can make the holiday season healthier for you and your family.  Let’s look at it from the eyes of Mary . . .

Mary thinks how lucky she is that her friend had a house party, where she learned about these 100% pure, therapeutic-trade essential oils.  It is amazing that one drop of essential oil goes into every cell of the body in 21 minutes or less!   These oils were used in Biblical days and earlier, and we are just now re-discovering their benefits in our everyday lives. 

Before that house party, all Mary knew was that essential oils smelled good, but so what?  Mary is glad to know each essential oil has many purposes and uses.  She packed a few oils for the trip home for the holidays, knowing they will help her in many ways. 

            On Christmas Eve, before driving to the airport with her family, Mary rubs Clove oil on her aching tooth, since she had no time to go to the dentist.  She is pleased with how well it works! 

Mary feels a tickle in her throat.  There’s no time to get sick on this trip.  So she pops an essential-oils throat lozenge.  On her throat, she puts a drop of the essential oil blend that kills 99.96% germs, knowing she is killing this cold before it buds. Then dabbing on some of the respiratory/congestion oil, Mary feels confident she will arrive feeling good. 

After parking easily at the airport , the family checks the airport monitor and discovers that their flight has been delayed by 2 HOURS!!!!  As a big headache begins to set in, Mary reaches for her peppermint oil, dabbing it on her temples, and soon her headache subsides. 

A girl’s best friend,

More precious than a diamond.

The dog’s friendly smile

Brightens her day.

With his wagging tail

And love of life,

The dog’s soul opens the door

For her to relax and say,

“I feel loved unconditionally

And supported all the way.”

Nancy Dutton

From “Book of Animal Poetry,” amazon.com

THE MAGPIE & CAT

The magpie and cat make quite a pair!

A constant push and battle of scare and dare.

The cat pretends that the bird is not there,

As the magpie swoops low through the air.

Each one thinks they’ll win this tug-o-war game,

But the outcome always ends up being the same.

The cat slinks back to the house without a sound,

While the magpie looks for any more mischief around!

By Nancy Dutton

From “Book of Animal Poetry”
Amazon.com

Do black cats really bring good or bad luck? Let’s explore what various countries believe.

Superstitions abound in America, such as a black cat crossing your path means bad luck. Due to satanic rituals, black cats are a target for violence and abuse, especially during Halloween. At animal shelters black cats are usually adopted last, sold for less money and, if not adopted, may be euthanized. Research reveals black cats stay 15 percent longer (nine days longer) than other cats. With all of these available black cats, it increases your chances of getting a black cat of your preferred personality at your local shelter.

Did you know that Italy recently held its first Black Cat Day in cities across the nation? Animal rights groups want to change superstitious beliefs that black cats are evil or bad luck by halting the killing of an estimated 60,000 black cats a year. This event included artwork honoring black cats plus awards for those who have protected them.

Some countries believe black cats bring good luck. In Ancient Egypt the deity Bast was the protector of cats, women and children. People thought having a black cat in their home would bring them favor with Bast. King Charles 1 of England had his black cat guarded 24 hours a day to ensure good luck. Australians believe a bride will have a happy marriage if a black cat sneezes nearby on her wedding day. Black cats symbolize good luck in Scotland, Ireland, China and Japan.

No scientific study has ever found that black cats bring bad luck instead of good luck. My personal experience with black cats reveals they are affectionate companions of family and friends, whose luck is no better or worse than other people I know. What do you think?

MEMORIES

Heartfelt memories,

Waterfall of emotions,

Loving you today.

WATERFALL

Thoughts cascade of you,

Flowing river of love,

Happiness abounds

CATS

Our best friends, our cats

Lounging and loving us,

Unconditional.

BREATHLESS

So happy we met

You’re delightful to my soul

Breathless joy today!

BIRDS

Birds chirping softly

Perched so high in the

                             HORSES

As the horse speaks, we listen . . .

Powerfully moving our souls

With the depth of perception

Transferred quickly, quietly

To our knowingness,

Standing in awe

Of the majestic calm,

Transformed instantly forever . . .

Into a spiritual space

Never before experienced.

Come and feel the quiet magnitude

Of all existence and time . . .

Enveloped within the sinews

Of this beautiful creature.

Connected with eternity so large,

The space is boundless,

Both filled, overflowing, never ending,

Lead me there . . . now.

                    Poem from “Book of Animal Poetry” by Nancy Dutton

You can enjoy writing haikus about animals and mail them to family and friends. Make a greeting card with the haiku and pet picture inside, or make a scrapbook page about the person and their pet.  It will touch their souls, make them laugh and cry.  A personalized haiku makes a great gift! You can even store all of your haikus on the computer,  and someday later publish your own book of haikus.

What is a haiku?

1)   A haiku is a very short, centuries-old form of Japanese poetry with a certain pattern. There are only 17 syllables divided into three sentences: Five syllables on the first line, seven syllables on the second line, and five syllables on the third or last line. Traditional haikus talk about nature or the changing seasons and convey an emotion.  

Examples of haikus that capture an emotion relating to animals:

MOTOR                                 

Motor deluxe cat                      -5

Purring all the time with me       -7

Sweet feline essence.                -5

PET                                        

My soft, fuzzy pet                     -5