May 29, 2008 Radio Broadcast gives ideas on how grandparents can help their grandchildren deal with grief and sibling loss.


Grief and Loss experts Dr.s' Gloria and Heidi Horsley have made available their discussion with two author grandparents, Jewel Sample and Nina Bennett.

To listen to the broadcast please click on the link below.

Helping Grandchildren Deal with SIDS Grief and Sibling Loss
Guests: Jewel Sample and Nina Bennett
MP3 Link

To learn more about Drs' Horsley supportive grief and loss web site, please visit Healing The Grieving Heart now called Open To Hope

Hi there. Jewel allowed me to guest-write for her blog. This is the first time I've done this so it's an adventure. Thanks for the opportunity.

I'm a 40-something mom of two. I'm a counselor, speaker, and writer in Littleton, Colorado. I'm married to John, and I love Honey Nut Cheerios.


Last summer, my 20 year old daughter suggested we should start a tradition for the Fourth of July. My husband suggested we make homemade ice cream, so we bought an electric ice cream maker with my 20% off coupon at Bed, Bath and Beyond, and our tradition began. For about a week we did nothing besides try ice cream recipes. Our very favorite was cinnamon gelato.



When the kids were little we would pile into the car and drive around looking at Christmas lights. We chose this time to deliver gifts of cookies, or wine to friends of ours. If our friends weren’t home they missed out. For some reason we always picked up some tacos from Taco Bell and ate them in the car. Silly, but this became a family tradition.



On Saturdays in the summer, when we’re not all going different directions, we like to make breakfast burritos and sit outside on the deck. It seems like a lot of our family traditions center around food!



On road trips we listen to the Bare Naked Ladies or Abba, loudly, and we sing along. When the kids were really little we listened to the Adventure in Odyssey series (Focus on the Family). Every once in a while, just for grins, we’ll pull off the highway and run silly circles around the car.



William Doherty, director of marriage and family therapy at the University of Minnesota addresses the importance of family traditions or rituals in his book, “The Intentional Family: How to Build Family Ties in Our Modern World.”



He gives the main reasons family should develop rituals or traditions:

1. * It makes family life predictable.

2. * It gives family a chance to reconnect.

3. * Family rituals teach children what the family values.



Melinda Hall, Extension Agent at Ohio State University says there are 3 different types of traditions:

1. *Celebration Traditions (holidays, birthdays, etc)

2. *Family Traditions (special things which fit your family’s lifestyle i.e. pizza, vacations, etc)

3. *Patterned Family Interactions (bedtime, Sunday afternoons, etc.)



Here is my list to get you thinking about family traditions:

• Games on popcorn on Saturday night
• Saying “I Love You” before going to sleep
• Having a “tailgater” before the ballgame
• Serving a meal like chili or dumplings before a certain event
• Acting out the Christmas story from Luke 2 using real people or figures from the crèche.
• Dancing to a favorite Neil Diamond song
• Opening one gift on Christmas Eve
• Having an event such as the Bolder Boulder that you all do together

In uncertain times when it may look good on the surface and you find it treacherous underneath, it is important to remember these words: "The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord, And He delights in his way. Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down; For the Lord upholds him with His hand. I have been young, and now I am old; Yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken, Nor his descendents begging for bread. He is ever merciful, and lends; And his descendents are blessed." Psalm 37:23-26 (NKJV)

DON'T GIVE UP! HANG IN THERE. LEARN THE LESSON GOD HAS FOR YOU TO STRENGTHEN YOU WITH WISDOM.

Proverbs 18:22 He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord. (NKJV)

Yes, some women haven't discovered men have their very own secret language. It took me the first few years of married life to discover it. The first two years were wedded bliss with my husband’s undivided attention on me (at least I thought so.) Then our first child was born and the grunts started. One grunt meant "no" and two for "yes."

About 10 years later I discovered another secret to his language called selective hearing. I would ask him to do something and he would automatically say, "huh?" So after ten more years of repeating myself, I got the clever idea of making a Honey Dew list. I really put that title at the top of my paper. I thought if I mentioned food he would at least get to the first request. Years went by with him smiling at me and walking out to the garage with paper in hand. Nothing was getting done on my list. One day I asked him if he was reading my "sweet nothings" I was writing to him. His reply, "yup, that's what I thought of them too." After 40 plus years of learning my sweetie’s secret language the quest goes on.

What’s your discoveries about men’s secret language?

PRESS RELEASE

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Date: August 22, 2008

Contact Information

Name: Robyn E. Bear
Address: 210 Ewing Drive, Manvel, TX 77578
Email: [email protected]
Website: http://www.october15th.com

H.CON.RES.222 Passes in Congress supporting the Goals and Ideals of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day, October 15th of every year

Too many parents grieve in silence when suffering a pregnancy or infant loss. 983,000 babies died in 1996 from miscarriage or stillbirth. In 1995, 15.7% of pregnancies ended in fetal demise (miscarriage or stillbirth). These statistics do not include neonatal loss, SIDS, or other causes. (Center for Disease Control Trends in Pregnancies and Pregnancy Rates by Outcome Vital Health Stat (21) 56 - updated March 2001)

On September 28, 2006, Congressman Tom Latham from Iowa brought before the House of Representatives, House Concurrent Resolution # 222. The House Concurrent Resolution was passed in the House of Representatives supporting the goals and ideals of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. Many families watched this take place live on C-SPAN Television, watched live on the internet, and listened on news radio.



The House started out with several speakers including Georgia Representative Lynn Westmoreland, Illinois Representative Danny Davis, Iowa Representative Tom Latham, Georgia Representative Phil Gingrey, and ended with California Representative Brian Bilbray.



California Representative Brian Bilbray told of his own personal story 22 years ago. He and his wife lost their precious baby at the age of 3 months to crib death which is now known as SIDS. Soon after, they agreed to pass the House Resolution.



Quote by California Representative Brian Bilbray:


“Mr. BILBRAY. Mr. Speaker, I rise today to thank Mr. LATHAM and both the majority and the minority for presenting this resolution today. I do not talk about a situation that occurred over 22 years ago in my family. Actually it was 22 years, 2 months ago that my wife and I lost our child at 3 months to crib death. I am sure you have got to believe that 22 years should be able to cover up the pain and the hurt and the scar. But it does not. And though we have been blessed with five healthy children, we will always have that missing spot that that little 3-month-old baby filled. But I want to thank you for today, and I stand up here today and speak of this matter to represent the men and women who have gone through what my family has gone through, and thank you for this.

If I may leave you with one message: more important than us grieving for our losses of those young ones that have died and are not here today, the best way for us to really remember them is to appreciate and worship and thank God for the blessings of having healthy children and babies that we can take care of. Because they truly are the best memorial for our babies that we have lost, by preserving and protecting the treasures that God has given us in healthy children.”



What we are asking from the media:

We are asking the press and media to show their support by helping us get the word out about Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day on October 15th and about our personal stories of loss. So many parents suffer in silence and have nowhere to turn. These families need to know that they are not alone, and that miscarriage, stillbirth, and neonatal death is no longer a taboo subject. Support groups founded by and facilitated by parents are being formed all over the country to help families through the tragedy of losing their baby. We need to make communities aware that help is available.

We are asking everyone in all times zones, worldwide, to join us in a candle lighting ceremony at 7pm on October 15th, 2008. For more information, please visit: http://www.october15th.com

A study, which appeared last year in the November 1 2007 Journal of the American Medical Association, provided more convincing evidence that a majority of SIDS babies have a brain disorder. The abnormality findings suggest that “there is a problem in the development of the brain that occurs in utero and after birth as well. According to Dr. Hannah Kinney, senior author of the paper, “this opens the window of time available for identifying infants at high risk and provides the opportunity to use drugs and other interventions as the baby passes through the critical first six months of life where the risk for SIDS is the greatest. My hope is that this research will in some way ease the pain for parents of SIDS victims, helping them understand that their baby’s death was part of a disease process rather than a mystery,” says Kinney.”

The abnormalities identified within this study appear “to affect the brainstem's ability to use and recycle serotonin, a brain chemical which plays a major role in communications between brain cells. Serotonin is most well known for its role in regulating mood, but it also plays a role in regulating vital functions like breathing, heart rate, temperature, blood pressure and arousal. While the SIDS cases contained more serotonin using neurons, they appeared to contain fewer receptors for serotonin than did the control cases.” Evidence was also found that male SIDS infants had fewer serotonin receptors than either of the female SIDS infants or control infants. These findings may provide insight into why SIDS affects roughly twice as many males as females.

This finding lends credibility to the observation that “SIDS risk may greatly increase when an underlying predisposition combined with an environmental risk—such as sleeping face down— at a developmentally sensitive time in early life,” said Duane Alexander, M.D., Director of the NIH’s National Institute of Child Health and Human Development.

The majority (65 percent) of the SIDS cases in the data set were sleeping prone or on their side and 23 percent were sharing a bed at the time of death, indicating the need for continued public health messages on safe sleep practices.

This important addition to ongoing brainstem research gives us renewed hope that medical researchers are on the right path to eliminating SIDS as a cause of death for our children, our future generations, and all the more reason to support vital research.

It is important to REMEMBER that although medical research is doing it's best to find a cure, a silent killer called Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, (SIDS) still strikes at least six infants a day somewhere within our nation. It is not the caregivers fault. There is absolutely nothing the caregiver could have done to stop their baby’s body from shutting down.

For more information about SIDS and how you can support ongoing research contact First Candle.org

SIDS Facts can be found here

Resource box: Jewel Sample is a children’s writer and author of Flying Hugs and Kisses. For more information about her background and publications visit her at Jewel Of A Book.com

On October 2, 2006 Deb Westergreen awoke to a phone call and a county sheriff knocking on her door. Both were attempts to notify her that her son and daughter-law’s third child, Jaycee Marie Schilling had stop breathing and had died of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS).

Deb's inspirational story continues in her own words.

After weeks of flopping around like a fish out of water," I started surfing the internet for information on SIDS. I came across two web sites that I found helpful. One was sidsfamilies.com and the other was Iowasids.org. I started reading posts on sidfamilies.com. The stories really touched my heart. Iowasids.org had information about a walk taking place about 60 miles from our town. I contacted my family members and told them about the walk. Thirteen of us attended that walk. I wondered why our community area didn't have a walk. We have the third highest SIDS rate in the state, but we are not the third largest community area.

I contacted Patty who is the director for the Iowa SIDS Foundation and asked her how to organize a walk. She told me what is involved. I told her I wanted to do it for 2008 and would get in-touch with her.

In 2007, 4 more babies in this area died. I knew it had to stop, so again I contacted Patty and said, “It's a go.” Shortly afterward, she contacted me and said she had a mother who wanted to co-organize the walk.

I set up a meeting, placed an editorial in the newspaper about the walk meeting. About 20 people attended the meeting. We exchanged ideas and decided we could do it.



The walk was awesome! 125-150 people attended and about $10,000 dollars was raised to fund peer-to-peer training, research, education of medical professionals and bring SIDS awareness to the public. I will do it again next year and every year I am able.



Thank you my special angel Jaycee Marie Schilling, for inspiring your Grandma to get busy and do something so important! I love you.

Deb Westergreen

2600 babies under one year of age succumb to SIDS within the United States of America each year. For more informaton about SIDS please visit the subject index provided on left side bar of this blog.

Resource box: This inspirational Iowa Grandmother story was written by Deb Westergreen and posted by Jewel Sample.

Deb Westergreen and her husband share seven adult children and 21 grandchildren. In her spare time she loves getting together with family and making scrapbook greeting cards.

Jewel Sample is a children’s writer and author of Flying Hugs and Kisses. For more information about her background and publications visit her at Jewel’s Sand Box News (http://jewelsamples.blogspot.com)

Thank you so much Terri Forehand at Heartfelt Words 4 Kids for nominating me for this writer’s award. Terry offers warmth and support through her wonderful ideas, stories and links to help children and their families through a life altering crisis whether it is health, divorce, grief and loss or friendships. She is a blessing to those who know her.

My instructions are to nominate other blogs worthy of this award. There are so many WONDERFUL blogs to choose from and it was a hard decision for me.

DRUM ROLL!

The following have been chosen for the Brillante Weblog Premio award. The recipients are not listed in any particular order. It would be impossible for me to rank them because they are all outstanding! Thank you all for sharing a part of your writing world.

Carolyn Howard-Johnson’s Sharing with Writers and Readers

Carolyn unselfishly gives a wealth of marketing and promotional information to writers. Her love for the written word is evident and her successes of several published books showcase her many talents. Reading her blog has inspired me to move forward and not to worry about yesterday’s writing. I can almost hear her say, “After all, you were writing your best then and today’s best is better. That is what experience does.”

Lysa Terkeurst’s Proverb’s 31 Ministries

Lysa is an award winning author of several books and mom of five children. She offers her readers’ thought provoking ideas and opens her daily living view that encourages me to get through whatever is happening at the time.

Susan A. Meyer’s Susan’s Thoughts and Ramblings

Susan offer’s to her readers’ children’s writer interviews and her thoughts on writing for children. I discovered in no time at all, I couldn’t help but feel like I was sitting across the table from her sipping my favorite Latte chatting about what we both love, writing for children.

Max Elliot Anderson’s Books for Boys

Max is a multi-talented writer and video producer. He offers several great adventure books to read, as well as awesome thought provoking ideas on book promotion and writing stories for children. Check out his post about his adventure with a message in a bottle idea and you will see what I mean.

Marybeth Whalen’s Cheaper By The Half Dozen

Marybeth is an accomplished author and mom of six children who loves to share her writing views, organizational skills and personal family stories with others. When you read her stories, be prepared for a good belly laugh!

Robyn Opie’s Writing Children’s Books with Robyn Opie

Robyn is a prolific Australian writer who posts tons of marketing and writing tips as she shares her writing journey with others. I find myself identifying with her struggles and I love her out of the box, edgy writing style.

Mary DeMuth’s So You Wanna Be Published

Mary’s blog has a multitude writing nuggets from how to get published to honing your writing skills information. I call her site my fountain of muse because I have yet to go there and not find something that is encouraging and stretches my writing brain muscles. In fact I had to put my self on a diet from her blog so I could get my writing goals completed.

Congratulations everyone! Now it is your turn to bless someone with this award.


Rules for recipients of the Brillante Weblog Premio are as follows:

1. The award may be displayed on a winner's blog.

2. Add a link to the person you received the award from.

3. Nominate up to seven other blogs.

4. Add their links to your blog.

5. Add a message to each person that you have passed the award on in the comments section of their blog.

Resource box: Jewel Sample is a children’s writer and author of Flying Hugs and Kisses. For more information about her background and publications visit her at Jewel’s Sand Box News

First Candle Awards $100,000 Research Grant to Save Babies’ Lives Project Works to Prevent Sudden, Unexpected Deaths in Infancy and Early Childhood


In response to ongoing concerns about our nation’s alarmingly high rates of infant mortality, First Candle today announced that a $100,000 grant has been awarded to Dr. Henry Krous, Rady Children’s Hospital in San Diego, to support his world-renowned research into the prevention of sudden, unexpected deaths occurring in infancy and early childhood. Despite significant declines in infant mortality over the past decade, the United States continues to rank only 28th among developed nations at keeping our babies healthy and safe, and Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) continues to be the leading cause of death for babies one month to one year of age. More than 4,500 babies die suddenly and unexpected in the U.S. each year.

Historically, there has been no consistency in how these deaths are investigated and no central repository for the data collected. As a result, research is challenging and parents are left with more unanswered questions than answers about why their baby died. Dr. Krous is the first in the field to collect and evaluate clinical, epidemiological and pathological data on babies and children that die without warning.

According to Dr. Hannah Kinney, SIDS researcher at Harvard and Boston Children’s Hospital, Dr. Krous’ project is critical to not only her research, but to research projects worldwide, as they work to find causes and identify preventive strategies to save as many lives as possible.

“First Candle is proud to be able to continue our support of this important project,” said Executive Director Deborah Boyd. “Dr. Krous is an integral part of the SIDS/SUDC community and gives hope and healing to families that have experienced the sudden death of their beloved baby.” In addition to collecting and evaluating data, Krous volunteers his services to families by providing a “second” professional opinion for those that are concerned or confused about the diagnosis they were given for their child’s death.

One family that has been touched and inspired by Dr. Krous’ work is Craig and Krissy Thomas. On November 30, 2007, the Thomas’ lost their first child, Cole Westley, to SIDS. In his memory, and to continue his legacy, Craig and Krissy established the Cole Westley Thomas Memorial Fund at First Candle. In the short time since Cole’s death, the fund has generated nearly $50,000.

"We are pleased to contribute the funds raised in Cole's memory to Dr. Krous' project in San Diego. Without his work, important research into the brain stem as a potential cause of SIDS deaths would grind to a halt, as access to research samples would become severely restricted," said Thomas.

In an effort to help researchers unravel the mysteries surrounding these deaths, the Thomas’ have designated the San Diego SIDS/SUDC Research Project as the beneficiary of Cole’s fund. In response, First Candle has generously offered to match that contribution with $50,000, bringing the total award to $100,000.

"I am honored to receive this grant. It is an exceedingly generous gift that memorializes Cole Westley, the beloved son of Craig and Krissy Thomas, and provides much needed support to critical research into SIDS," said Krous.

First Candle is a national, nonprofit health organization dedicated to promoting safe pregnancies and the survival of babies through the first years of life. With programs of research, education and advocacy we are working toward a future where all babies are given the best possible chance to reach not only their first birthday, but many happy birthdays beyond. Until we reach this goal, we remain committed to providing compassionate grief support to all those affected by the death of a baby.

For more information, to make a donation or to access local support services, please call 1.800.221.7437 or visit www.firstcandle.org.


Dr. Henry Krous is board certified in anatomic pathology and in pediatric pathology. He is the Director of Pathology at Children's Hospital San Diego and Adjunct Professor of Pathology and Pediatrics at the UCSD School of Medicine. His clinical interests include SIDS (sudden unexpected death in infancy and childhood), and renal disease. He is chair of the Pathology Working Group, SIDS Global Strategy Task Force and Vice Chair of the California SIDS Advisory Council. Dr. Krous serves on the editorial board of Pediatric and Developmental Pathology and reviews for several other journals. He is the author of more than 120 articles, 80 abstracts and has edited three books. He has been invited to give nearly 100 lectures in the United States, Europe, New Zealand and Australia.

May 29, 2008 Radio Broadcast Update

Grief and Loss experts Drs Gloria and Heidi Horsley have made available their discussion with two author grandparents, Jewel Sample and Nina Bennett.

To listen to the broadcast please click on the link below.

Helping Grandchildren Deal with SIDS Grief and Sibling Loss
Guests: Jewel Sample and Nina Bennett
MP3 Link

To learn more about Drs Horsley and grief and loss please visit Healing The Grieving Heart