Celebrate Friends by Nikki Jo
reach out to a friend...
share a moment in your day...
reach out hold my hand


Healing Haiku by Nikki Jo
Supportive Family
Loving Friends Caring For
Me Being Held In Love


POEM not Haiku
Purple Drifitng
By Nikki Jo
purple drifting
tea brewing sit a spell sing a spell dance the forest awaits us...
love the night stars in our sight East and West
meet in the heart beat of the sky clouds drift past
the moon purple drifting tea brewing sit a spell sing a spell
dance the forest awaits us...


Haikus continued...
Umbrellas A Haiku by Nikki Jo
Cloudy days bring rain
Good friends bring rainbows and love
Friends are Umbrellas

Friends by Nikki Jo
I believe friends grow
I believe sun shines from love
I believe in love

Rainy Day by Nikki Jo
A Rainy Day...Chilled...
Hurried to Repair my Past
My Mind Full of Dust!

Cleaning Up By Nikki Jo
Cleaning up the past
Must hurry and do it fast
Demolition Comes!
)0( ~ )0( ~ )0(
Alone By Nikki Jo
Will someone forgive
I MUST forgive myself NOW
Alone I must be!

Bones By Nikki Jo
Closet filled with bones
broken old skeletons here
Cob webs fill my Mind

I have not been here in a while.
I post long BLOGS...
IF you are looking for short stories or poems I have those too!
I will be adding NEW STUFF soon!
Samuella SilverSelene
( Nikki Jo )

Being on ANTIDEPRESSANTS: MY STORY My name is Nikki Jo रुसलो. I am now 48 years of age. Most of my life I have had depression But I was only diagnosed and medicated in 1990-'91 and 1998-2003. WHY I am diagnosed with 'depression' and 'anxiety, will be written about in another BLOG, so check back, PLEASE! My first Anti-D. or Psych Drug was PROZAC! I was on it for a year. My parents went to Mexico to buy it for me when my insurance was canceled. I took it for a year. 1990-'91. I finally stopped, my parents could not keep up with trips to Mexico and I had no other method to continue with it. I also was not seeing any DOCTOR. But in 1998 I started to go to college. In one of my course, SOCIOLOGY, they showed a film and it was talking about incest. In the first 10 minutes of the film, it had a girl who was in SHADOW, and she was speaking about her terrifying experience. Suddenly I was overcome with anxiety! I could not breath, I felt dizzy, I felt cold and sweaty as if I were going to faint or throw up! I got up and went out of the room to the restroom. I sat on the floor and cried. A girls came in from class and asked me if I was OK. No I was not. So she got help, they took me into the infirmary, where they took my vitals, and calmed me down. Then they sent me to see a councilor who tried to make since of it all. A few months later I had been going regularly to this councilor but she thought I needed "more help". That came in the form another councilor and a PSYCHIATRIST and in 4 BOTTLES of "PSYCH-DRUGS". PAXIL,BUSPAR,XANAX and Zoloft. I UNDERLINE AND BOLD TEXT ALL THE SIDE EFFECTS I HAD WITH EACH ONE! Why is Zoloft prescribed? Zoloft is prescribed for major depression— a persistently low mood that interferes with everyday living. Symptoms may include loss of interest in your usual activities, disturbed sleep, change in appetite, constant fidgeting or lethargic movement, fatigue, feelings of worthlessness or guilt, difficulty thinking or concentrating, and recurrent thoughts of suicide.Zoloft is also used to treat the following:Premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD), a condition marked by a depressed mood, anxiety or tension, emotional instability, and anger or irritability in the two weeks preceding menstruation.Obsessive-compulsive disorder (unwanted thoughts that won't go away and an irresistible urge to keep repeating certain actions, such as hand-washing or counting).Panic disorder (unexpected attacks of overwhelming anxiety, accompanied by fear of their return).Social anxiety disorder (extreme shyness in social situations that interferes with an individual's work and social life).Post-traumatic stress disorder (re-experiencing a dangerous or life-threatening event through intrusive thoughts, flashbacks, and intense psychological distress).Zoloft belongs to a class of drugs called selective serotonin re-uptake inhibitors (SSRIs). Serotonin is one of the chemical messengers believed to govern moods. Ordinarily, it is quickly reabsorbed after its release at the junctures between nerves. Re-uptake inhibitors such as Zoloft slow this process, thereby boosting the levels of serotonin available in the brain. MY NOTE: NEVER ONCE WAS MY BLOOD LEVEL CHECKED FOR SEROTONIN, They ran a LIVER PANEL to check my LIVER functions. They NEVER gave me a rating for my Serotonin. Most important fact about Zoloft Do not take Zoloft within 2 weeks of taking any drug classified as an MAO inhibitor. Drugs in this category include the antidepressants Marplan, Nardil, and Parnate. When serotonin boosters such as Zoloft are combined with MAO inhibitors, serious and sometimes fatal reactions can occur. In addition, you should not combine Zoloft with the drug pimozide (Orap). What side effects may occur? Side effects cannot be anticipated. If any develop or change in intensity, inform your doctor as soon as possible. Only your doctor can determine if it is safe for you to continue taking Zoloft. Side effects may include: Abdominal pain, agitation, anxiety, constipation, decreased sex drive, diarrhea or loose stools, difficulty with ejaculation, dizziness, dry mouth, fatigue, gas, headache, decreased appetite, increased sweating, indigestion, insomnia, nausea, nervousness, pain, rash, sleepiness, sore throat, tingling or pins and needles, tremor, vision problems, vomiting Many people lose a pound or two of body weight while taking Zoloft. This usually poses no problem but may be a concern if your depression has already caused you to lose a great deal of weight. In a few people, Zoloft may trigger the grandiose, inappropriate, out-of-control behavior called mania or the similar, but less dramatic, "hyper" state called hypomania. MY NOTE: I HAD 98% of these side effects! I did not have EJACULATION problems or any weight loss! I gained weight from 140 lbs-285 lbs!!!!
http://www.pdrhealth.com/drug_... XANAX: Why is Xanax prescribed? Xanax is a tranquilizer used in the short-term relief of symptoms of anxiety or the treatment of anxiety disorders। Anxiety disorder is marked by unrealistic worry or excessive fears and concerns. Anxiety associated with depression is also responsive to Xanax. Xanax and the extended-release formulation, Xanax XR, are also used in the treatment of panic disorder, which appears as unexpected panic attacks and may be accompanied by a fear of open or public places called agoraphobia. Only your doctor can diagnose panic disorder and best advise you about treatment. Some doctors prescribe Xanax to treat alcohol withdrawal, fear of open spaces and strangers, depression, irritable bowel syndrome, and premenstrual syndrome. MY NOTE: Weren't these all mentioned in Zoloft? NEED I REALLY NEED TO BE ON THIS DRUG? OK READ THESE and compare with ZOLOFT!!! What side effects may occur? Side effects cannot be anticipated. If any develop or change in intensity, inform your doctor as soon as possible. Only your doctor can determine if it is safe for you to continue taking Xanax. Your doctor should periodically reassess the need for this drug. Side effects of Xanax are usually seen at the beginning of treatment and disappear with continued medication. However, if dosage is increased, side effects will be more likely. Side effects of Xanax may include: Decreased libido, drowsiness, fatigue, impaired coordination, memory impairment, speech difficulties, weight changes Side effects of Xanax XR may include: Constipation, decreased libido, depression, drowsiness, fatigue, impaired coordination, memory problems, mental impairment, nausea, sedation, sleepiness, speech difficulties, weight changes Side effects due to a rapid decrease in dose or abrupt withdrawal from Xanax or Xanax XR: Anxiety, blurred vision, decreased concentration, decreased mental clarity, depression, diarrhea, headache, heightened awareness of noise or bright lights, hot flushes, impaired sense of smell, insomnia, loss of appetite, loss of reality, muscle cramps, nervousness, rapid breathing, seizures, *tingling sensation, tremor, twitching, weight loss MY NOTE: One time I was supposed to drive three minutes by street to pick up my daughters. I had suddenly became aware that I was driving on the freeway and had no clue of where I was. I got off the freeway and went to a gas station to find out where I was. I was 25 minutes from home! 25 minutes I had spent on the freeway without a clue that I was there, or any recollection of getting in it or why? I also had WEIGHT CHANGES, I went from 140 lbs to 285 lbs! In about 4 months time. I had ALL the side effects! HAVE you also taken NOTE of some of the side effects are what these medications where supposed to be helping? DEPRESSION and ANXIETY? VERY ODD, don't you think? BuSparGeneric name: Buspirone hydrochloride -Why is BuSpar prescribed? BuSpar is used in the treatment of anxiety disorders and for short-term relief of the symptoms of anxiety. Most important fact about BuSpar BuSpar should not be used with antidepressant drugs known as monoamine oxidase (MAO) inhibitors. What side effects may occur? Side effects cannot be anticipated. ( WHY NOT? ) If any develop or change in intensity, inform your doctor as soon as possible. NOTE: I TOLD MY DOCTOR, SHE SAID THEY WILL CLEAR UP IN TIME, EVERY TIME I TOLD HER SHE SAID THE SAME THING!!! It was not until, one day I had a NOTICEABLE REACTION, My face was twitching and my right arm felt tingly and was jerking noticeably. She one time told me to decrease Buspar, But I was in a deep FOG and my mental alertness was shattered! I could not remember which one to decrease or how much! I just stopped taking it for a week and started it up again. Only your doctor can determine if it is safe for you to continue taking BuSpar.Side effects may include: Dizziness, dry mouth, fatigue, headache, light-headedness, nausea, nervousness, unusual excitement PAXILBrand name:PaxilGeneric name: Paroxetine hydrochloride Why is Paxil prescribed?Paxil relieves a variety of emotional problems. It can be prescribed for serious, continuing depression that interferes with your ability to function. Symptoms of this type of depression often include changes in appetite and sleep patterns, a persistent low mood, loss of interest in people and activities, decreased sex drive, feelings of guilt or worthlessness, suicidal thoughts, difficulty concentrating, and slowed thinking.Paxil is also used to treat obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), a disease marked by unwanted, but stubbornly persistent thoughts, or unreasonable rituals you feel compelled to repeat.In addition, Paxil is prescribed for panic disorder, a crippling emotional problem characterized by sudden attacks of at least four of the following symptoms: palpitations, sweating, shaking, numbness, chills or hot flashes, shortness of breath, a feeling of choking, chest pain, nausea or abdominal distress, dizziness or faintness, feelings of unreality or detachment, fear of losing control, or fear of dying. READ SOME OF THE SIDE EFFECTS OF PAXIL AND THE OTHER DRUGS!!! Paxil can be prescribed for generalized anxiety disorder, a disease marked by excessive anxiety and worry that persists for at least 6 months and can't be easily controlled. True cases of generalized anxiety disorder are accompanied by at least three of the following symptoms: restlessness or a keyed-up or on-edge feeling, a tendency to tire easily, difficulty concentrating or spells when the mind goes blank, irritability, muscle tension, or sleep disturbance.Paxil can be used in the treatment of social anxiety disorder (also known as social phobia), a condition marked by shyness or stage fright so intense that it interferes with an individual's work and social life.Paxil is also prescribed for post-traumatic stress disorder—a crippling condition that sometimes develops in reaction to a disastrous or horrifying experience. Symptoms, which stubbornly refuse to abate, include unwanted memories and dreams, intense distress when confronted with reminders of the event, a general numbing of interest and enjoyment, jumpiness, irritability, poor sleep, and loss of concentration.Paxil CR, the controlled-release version, is prescribed for major depression, panic disorder, social anxiety disorder, and severe premenstrual symptoms classified as premenstrual dysphoric disorder.Paxil belongs to the class of drugs known as selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs). Serotonin is one of the chemical messengers believed to govern moods. Ordinarily, it is quickly reabsorbed after its release at the junctures between nerves. Reuptake inhibitors such as Paxil slow this process, thereby boosting the levels of serotonin available in the brain. Most important fact about PaxilYour symptoms may seem to improve within 1 to 4 weeks after beginning treatment with Paxil. Even if you feel better, continue to take the medication as long as your doctor tells you to do so. What side effects may occur? Side effects cannot be anticipated. If any develop or change in intensity, inform your doctor as soon as possible. I DID! Only your doctor can determine whether it is safe for you to continue taking this medication. During the first 4 to 6 weeks, you may find some side effects less troublesome (nausea and dizziness, for example) than others (dry mouth, drowsiness, and weakness). Side effects may include: Abnormal ejaculation, abnormal orgasm, constipation, decreased appetite, decreased sex drive, diarrhea, dizziness, drowsiness, dry mouth, gas, impotence, male and female genital disorders, nausea, nervousness, sleeplessness, sweating, tremor, weakness, vertigo MY NOTES: With all 4 of these drugs, and their common side effects you could only imagine HOW TERRIBLE I felt! I did not function at all. My teenage daughters pretty much took care of themselves, and school grades went down! The school was sending home messages that if ATTENDANCE DID NOT IMPROVE, SOCIAL SERVICES WOULD BE CONTACTED! TO BE CONTINUED: NEXT TIME: MOM or ZOMBIE./and/ Ways I use to heal Myself

Life and TOUCH ASSIST http://www.scientologyhandbook' target=_blank>http://www.scientologyhandbook... www.cchr.org ALERT!!! LIFE SAVING INFORMATION! THE TRUTH ABOUT PSYCHOLOGY! http://www.cchr.org/

chapter 1: DANGERS OF ANTI-D's TRUE STORY
chapter 2: Momma Zombie/ OR Mom OR Zombie
chapter 3: What I was introduced to for HEALING MYSELF
chapter 4: My Sweat Lodge Experience Pros and Cons/ part 1
chapter 5: Sweat Lodges Pros and Cons/ Part 2
chapter 6: Sweat Lodges Pros and Cons/ Part 3
chapter 7: Reiki Healing
chapter 8: Spirituality
chapter 9: Crystal Healing
chapter 10: Vitamins, Herbs, Mineral Supplements
chapter 11: TOUCH ASSIST and DIANETICS
chapter 12: ALL 7 of the HARRY POTTER BOOKS!
chapter 13: Being Continued

Sacred Soul Mate Wedding
by Nj Lucero/2004

Night Silver
Morning Gold
Look into his eyes and do as your told...
misty morning
chilled night
pleasure for your heart's sight

laughter into the night
sounds like screams of desire
was passion and delite
forest shelterd them from the sky
on the Earth Mother they did lie
rain fell
lust shared
skin bared
secrets the moon will not tell
hunger fed
in bliss they wed
taste eternal love...
stars are witness from above
Share the night
Share the light
words never spoken
blood given as love token
the dance is forever
the song is forever
the poem is forever
their love is forever
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When I Die
by njLucero(2004)
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><
When I die...
My soul will wander this cold toxic place...
I will still be looking for answers I never got...
I will be looking for souls that are lost too...
like me...
When I die...
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My Spells (OK not REAL...or are they?)
By Nikki Ruby-Stone(Lucero)
These were written with full respect to all that might follow Wiccan and or THE CRAFT.
I am not making fun OF anyone or any following.
I just like the sound of "spells", I am fond of them.
I would never assume that I could cast a spell.
I respect Wicca and The Craft too much to do that.
These are for entertainment, I just made them up not making fun OF...but just FOR fun...there is a difference.
Wiccan's generally have a good humor and so do I.
These came to my head as I sat one night waiting for my daughter to get off work.
I might make up more some time soon, so check back and PLEASE add some of your own (if you have them).

Spellish Poems:~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~:)
~To spend time wisely~
Time goes slow...
Never Go...
Time goes fast...
Never Last...
Now heed my warning, I made it rhyme...
Never Ever Waste your Time!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~:)


<8()~cure>

Those that are SMALL and act like a BRAT, will never grow tall, but turn into a RAT!~()8>
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~:)
(AND I DO LOVE RATS...and hate brats...eheheheeeee!)


<3 To find the right Love <3

Tree Tall
Tree Short
May you find the ONE to court!
Love lasts long,When love is true

NOW, find the one that's right for YOU!

<3<3

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~:)
~~To speak the Truth!~~
Rain drops Wet,
Red Sun Set,
Full Moon lights the skys,
Speak now the Truth, NO more Lies!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~:)


BRING IT ON!
by Nikki ® Jo! Lucero
There is POWER in your voices...
There is CHANGE in your hearts...
You are the HOPE of OUR NATIONS...
BRING IT ON!
We fought for your choices...
We fought to clear the way...
Move now, there is nothing stopping you...
We took the blows and name calling and insults FOR you...
The way is clear now...TAKE IT!
There is POWER in your voices...
There is CHANGE in your hearts...
You are the HOPE of OUR NATIONS...
BRING IT ON!
Keep the Relations alive...
The Ghost Dance brings them alive...
YOUR spirits are lifted...
OUR Dreams YOU can reach...
Keep Our spirit alive...
Keep the Nations alive...
There is POWER in your voices...
There is CHANGE in your hearts...
You are the HOPE of OUR NATIONS...
BRING IT ON!
All Nations must Dance...
Keep on Dancing...
The Dancing is in our hearts...
feel the drum beat there...
Feel the fire...
feel the strength...
feel the Spirits move you to a new beat...
Make the changes we could not make,
Live the ways that were stolen from us...
There is POWER in your voices...
There is CHANGE in your hearts...
You are the HOPE of OUR NATIONS...
BRING IT ON!

The Little Tree by Nikki GreenFireEyesWoman(re written 2004)


I looked at the small tree today.
It seemed so frail and weak.
A larger tree stood over the smaller one. The tall tree did not encourage the little one at all. Instead she said some very mean things, trying to discourage the smaller tree. "Give up little sapling, you are never going to make it. The weather is much too cold and you are not in a very good place for growing. You are in a small crack in the cement. You are in my shade and the sun will never reach you...GIVE UP!"

The small tree did look very sad. I too felt sad. I was reminded of something.

The next day it rained so hard. The little tree looked like it was drowning.
The large tree and all the leaves on her where laughing.
The little tree shivered in the cold wet wind.
"Little tree are you OK?" I asked. The little tree said nothing.
Weeks and months went by and the rain got heavier.
Sometimes it seemed that the little tree was not there any more.
The water was so high right over it. The tall tree continued to stand tall in the wind and rain. She continued to throw insults down to the little tree.
I was sad for the little tree.
I went on with my busy life.
Months later the days got warmer.
Tiny buds of new leaves formed on both the taller tree and the smaller tree.
The taller tree seemed to forget that the little tree was still there.
The taller tree was busy getting stronger in the new warming sun.
The shorter tree did get some sun. Just enough to help it to grow some new leaves. The shade helped to keep too much sun off the tiny new leaves.
I smiled at the tiny tree. He was now almost 7 inches tall! The tiny tree was happier now too.
He had some new leaves to make friends with.

A few years went by. Some winters where very tough on the little tree.
The larger tree started to see the little tree in a new way.
The little tree kept growing. The larger tree stopped making fun of him.
The larger tree after all was grown in a nursery and replanted here when she was already 2 years old and a lot stronger than this little tree.
The little tree's seed fell from another taller tree on the other side of the wall.
It fell in the crack and began to grow. It had many struggles as a Small tree.
But it held on.
He got stronger with each hard winter.
Now in his second year, the little tree was much taller and very strong. He had been able to make it though the hard times.

The small tree did look very happy.
I too felt happy. I was reminded of something.

(by Nikki J. Lucero-GreenFireEyesWoman/originally written in 1989 2004 re-written)

Where will I Go Grandmother? (Picture for the story) 

I have been adding Photos, Pictures, Paintings and Collages to my BLOGS.
The photos are titled to go with the stories. The stories all come after the pictures. I have fixed the COMMENTS to take ALL comments.
I hope you enjoy my stories and pictures.
Thanks for visiting. ~NJL~

The New Colorful Creatures By Nikki GreenFireEyes Woman 

I chose this Painting for: OLD REZ ROAD. It seemed to go with my Story.(NJL)
The Painting is by Nicholas Wood/"LAND"
22.5 cm wide x 36 cm high
Gouache and water colour on paper
Ancient ridge and furrow fields where I played as a child, the ancient land was all around and I didn't know till I went back there as an adult. (NW)

The Bleeding Sun (collage) 

Circle of Crazy Forgotten Females
(Collage) 

Sasquatch Taxidermy

Wiley Wells

ME! Sept. 01/2004

Sasquatch Taxidermy
By N.J.LUCERO (7/2002)
Leaving Lolo, Montana, on a Tuesday morning around 10 AM, I saw some Lil' ol' lady driving in the next lane on State Highway 12.
As our cars past I saw what looked like an old man or a man sitting in the center of the back seat of her car. He was leaning to the right just a bit.
She past us, an obvious LEAD FOOT, as we were driving the posted DAY SPEED of 70 MPH. On the rear self thing, (YOU know what I mean that thing near the rear window where people put KLEENEX®, toys, or lil' dogs that have bouncy heads as you drive.) there was a yellow construction helmet and a base ball cap of some kind it looked like dark blue. On the outside there were two long antennas that people use for either HAM radios or maybe Police scanners. By the time I got to looking to the car's license plate all I could make out was MONTANA. I am not good at numbers so the license plate number did not register.
We drove for a few more hours. Finally stopping around 12ish to eat. We stopped at an A&W® and KFC® combo type deal, in Butte, Montana. We drove through and Dave almost got back on the highway, but I asked (TRYING not to sound as whinny as I felt) "Uh, could we please STOP and eat?" I asked in my best ' I am NOT complaining' voice. Dave never got mad, but he always apologized if it sounded like he hurt my feelings in any way. We stopped under the shade of a large tree next to an old church that was closed down. We ate our combos and drank A&W Root Beer (At A&W why drink anything else?) I had even ordered a plain hot-dog for Lugz, my 20-month-old Pit- Retriever mix. He had really loved this trip, but had been in the car a lot lately and deserved a hot-dog at least. I added some fries and he gulped them down and drank cool water in his dish as we ate our lunches in peace and quiet.We then finished our meals and took him for a walk to DO HIS BUSINESS. We walked him around the closed church. As always he began by sniffing all the bushes and grass, READING other dogs histories with his nose. I waited patiently for THE POOP, he peed and acted like he was peeing over the other dog's stories, telling who he was and adding his stories. I began to pick Violets and Honey Suckles from the over grown bushes that grew around the, " BUTTE METHODIST FREE CHURCH", that is what the sign said. I began to ponder whether it meant that the church was "METHODIST FREE"? Or just a free church for Methodists?
I tried one of the doors, just curious and still waiting for THE POOP, it was locked from above. It was loose from the door-knob down and I could have tried to force it but decided it was not worth the trouble. The windows looked like stained glass, but I flicked them with my fingers and they were fake plastic.
It was time to move on Lugz told me pulling his leash, he had a mission to complete and it did not involve snooping in old closed down buildings. Finally he pooped! So we got in the car where Dave was reading maps. We moved on. We were headed for Yellow Stone National Park. (AKA: JELLY STONE for those who remember YOGI BEAR) . I needed to break the silence that weighed heavy between us,we were not mad, just two quiet people on the road and all talked out for the moment.
I reached over and turned on the radio,"Mamma, just killed a man, put a gun against his head, Pulled the trigger now he's dead, Mamma, life has just begun and now I've gone and blown it all away!" ((QUEEN)). This was just what I needed and I began to sing along. I did not mind one bit how terrible my voice sounded. I really don't care, I just get deep into some tunes more then others. Singing took my mind off the ol' lady and WHO EVER she had as her passenger, and the heavily antennaed car.
We traveled with QUEEN and some more oldies from the radio on Interstate 90 East. A little further down The Interstate we stopped for gas and I had to pee. Back on the 90 we approached the Ol' Lady and her mystery man. This time I really looked at HIM! "HE" was still sitting in the same position as several hours ago! "HE" had a baseball cap in front of his face. I barely saw just the side of his face just enough to get a chill up my spine and raise the hairs at the nape of my neck. "How strange!" I said out loud, "What?" asked Dave. I told him the whole story making it sound as mysterious as I could hoping that Dave too would become as hungry for information as I had now become. "HUM." Was Dave's gentle reply and a definite, "I AM NOT INTERRESTED IN THE SLIGHTEST." Was not spoken but I fully understood that Dave was occupied. I knew as the lil' ol' lead footed Granny whizzed on by that I would probably not see her again.
I did see her face, a very old lil' lady she seemed between 75-80 years old and 'NERVOUS' read all over her face, making me all the more curious indeed! Sometimes in a car on a long drive your mind goes on it's own journey and explores deep inside your mind. Mine was doing that BIG TIME! But I KNEW it was more than that. I began to open up all the possibilities in my mind.
As we passed hills and hills of green grass and REALLY HAPPY COWS and the biggest sky I had ever seen.
I began to think that maybe GRANNY might be afraid to drive all these miles alone and so maybe GRAMPS was a DUMMY to ward off potential harm.
'BUT why was GRAMPS in the back seat?' My Inner voices asked.
'Maybe they had an arguement and Gramps got put in the back seat for TIME OUT!' One Inner voice offered. "Yeah RIGHT!", I said inwardly, "From 10 am to past 2pm?!" My inner voices got quiet they did not have any answers.
We drove with only music between us.
We got off of the exit 333 in a town called Livington, heading South on the Highway 89 as we exited the 90. We saw a shop called: "SASQUATCH TAXIDERMY ". We laughed at the name. It advertised "Bear Spray", I wondered if it was for "BAD BEAR DAYS", a joke in my mind. No answer from my Inner voices.
As we headed to Yellow Stone, there were hills and wide-open fields to our right and to the left were cows here and there and horses an occasional Llama too.
Beyond that were mountains with slightly covered snow. It was mid- June 2002.
Suddenly a helicopter raced over head. "Very Odd", I thought, Dave was in his, "GONNA MAKE IT TO JELLY STONE PARK, BEFORE DARK" mode. I didn't mention the helicopter to him. Off to my right in the direction that the helicopter was headed I saw several cars chasing one car several feet ahead of them. Dust clouded all around them and from the distance I couldn't make them out. It was the first thing OUT OF THE ORDINARY that I saw since we left California on June 11th. Besides Granny and Gramps in that car.
The hills grew too tall for me to see anything more from the highway, but as I looked back I could see the now tiny helicopter hovering above a thick brown dust cloud. We drove on. "JELLY STONE PARK " was waiting.
Later that evening on a local radio station that was just starving for a story like this to break; a reporter began telling that an old lady NAME: WITH HELD, but age told as: 79 years old, had been caught by Montana High Way Patrol and Sheriffs off the 89. Passengers included herself and THE STORY MAKER: Her dead, 85-year-old husband! "He had probably been dead for several weeks, cause of death is pending an autopsy," The faceless reporter said. I could imagine the reporter: Eyes bulging and flicks of spittle flying wildly from his mouth, so eager to tell such a WONDERFULLY GRIM story. " The highway patrol had received several calls from concerned motorist", The reporter continued. An actual voice from one caller said, "He looked lak uh DEAD MAN RIDIN' , kinda' leanin' to the ryht for milez n' milez..." (For those who don't understand a Southern accent: " HE LOOKED LIKE A DEAD MAN RIDING, KIND OF LEANING TO THE RIGHT FOR MILES AND MILES.") The witness sounded as excited as the reporter that had earlier announced all the sales in Wal-Mart in Butte, with as much enthusiasm as a Hyper kid at church waiting for the Final "AMEN!" So he could RUN out and PLAY!
Sometimes the most pristine looking places hold the most DEVILSH secrets! The dead man's first name was given as Clyde.
My inner voices scolded me for not reporting what I saw. "SHUT UP! DO NOT DISTURB ME! I am on vacation!" I told them. I put in a CD; I was tiered of the radio!

(Nikki J. Lucero: 7/2002)


Authors note: SOME events of this story are true (SOME OF THEM)
Names were changed to protect whomever. BUT one thing for SURE: no dogs, horses, cows, Llamas, OR Sasquatches were hurt in the making of this story. The mind is a terrible thing to waste and so whenever a story comes to me I must write it!
Where ever I might be.
This is also the beginning of a novel or longer story. I have written several chapters following encouragement from a daughter of mine. In that continuing story it tells how "I" get to meet the Granny in the story. The story changes, being told in the 1st person"ME" and the second person "GRANNY". The chapters do back and forth: HER stories from the past and OUR relationship in the present. ALL FICTIONAL. (NJL)

The Bleeding Sun
By N.J.Lucero (2000)



Beth Mato, the single mother of three daughters, was left to wait in this small room. With nervous anticipation she noticed the clock just outside in the hallway. The minutes ticked slowly and she was sure there was something wrong with the clock. Each tick she heard as a taunt:
TICK...one second...
TICK...two seconds...
TICK...three seconds...

Why is it time drags slowly when your not having fun and speeds up when your having the time of your life? The old cliché of a question hung on the chilled air of the stagnant room that she was left to wait in. After an argument with herself she hesitated and had to look up at just how many seconds had gone by. It had only been two minutes; it felt like 10, the slow ticking clock had cheated her out of eight minutes! Her head spun and she felt nausea stir into her head and her face felt sunburned, yet she shivered with the chills. The last thing she saw was the neon lights overhead.~~~~~~


A roller coaster raced by her and the face of her first husband, Bill, whipped by laughing an evil clownish devil laugh. She and Bill had two of her younger daughters, her eldest daughter was born out of wedlock with the first man she ever loved, Marshal.
Marshal was killed by a drunk driver on his way to the hospital, where Beth was giving birth to their daughter. They were going to get married after the baby was born.

Bill, on the other hand, was a cocaine addict and spent all their money on his habit. Not only for himself but also for his friends, to impress them.

They collected welfare and food stamps to get by. Beth always waited in the County lines for the appointments with the bitchy welfare workers that made her feel like worthless hammered dog shit. She stood in line trying her best to hide her shame at the check out counter at the market. Bill never did the shopping he was too high to do any thing, but eat and take sex when he wanted to. Bill never felt shame, as he was shielded behind numerous drugs where he hid whatever shame he had. As his face raced by again on the roller coaster from inside her hell, he laughed showing yellow-stained teeth. He lifted up their first unborn child, one that Bill had beaten her into loosing, by her left foot and swung her over his head. His mouth opened wide like a snake’s jaws unhinging and in a snap the unborn baby girl disappeared down his throat, the small bulge slowly moving downward, as blood dripped from the corners of his mouth. The roller coaster clattered out of sight. A new car hurried past, so quickly it was almost too hard to tell who was in it.
It was a man; his stoic face was one that Beth would remember for years to come. As the car rolled by again however, it slowed down. Long black hair flowed from behind this man, one she had loved so much and so deeply, they had called each other, ‘SOUL MATES’ at one time. Their passion could be felt over hundreds of miles. They could be far away from each other and he would visit her in dreams and make love to her ‘till the morning sun lit her room. Being a Lakota, he had the Medicine Power of Shape shifting also known as: Night Walking; thus his name Red Nightwalker. He was a very striking figure of a man and he loved her with all his soul.
Things where fine until one night the FBI picked him up for the rape and murders of 20 young girls. He was sentenced to death and still waits for the sentence to be carried out. Beth receives letter after letter, most she throws away only a few she has opened and read that he still loves her and he will come even after death and make love to her until the sun bleeds red.
Once in the morning sky, Beth swore she saw his name spelled out in the crimson red clouds. She saw him pass by in the roller coaster car and this time he held the heads of 20 young girls ranging in ages from 7 to 14 years old. In the 20 cars to follow were 20 headless bodies. Whose lives had stopped short at the whim of this angry young Red Blood.
They were all daughters of wasicun politicians who had done wrong to the Native Americans throughout history. If any of these girls where even related to these politicians from the past 600 years they were raped and beheaded.
It was hard to catch him at first, because they only found animal fur, or bird feathers as clues. The girls seemed to have been killed by animals or some creatures. For the first nine girls the police and FBI did not’t have a clue. Even the DNA matched Wolf, Eagle, Mountain Lion or Bear. Until they found the 10th girl. The 10th girl was bigger than most and she fought with tooth and nail. Feeling guilty, because this young girl struck him as one to be honored for her bravery, Red NightWalker had shape shifted too soon and there were traces of human DNA mixed with the animal’s DNA. But, their mixture and rarity of its type had to be tested over and over. Still leaving the profiler's baffled. That was until Tomas RedWolf, a Lakota profiler from Pine Ridge, South Dakota was flown in on a hunch that another profiler had from some story she had heard; from her grandmother, who was Cherokee. Finally Red NightWalker was caught by one whose medicine was more powerful than his own .

Beth despised him and though she missed the sexual pleasure he brought to her, she burnt his braided hair, that he had sent from prison when they had cut his hair. She did this to end all contact from him. Even those passionate dreams that he magically brought to her. Beth was also Lakota and had Medicine Power that even she barely knew about.

The last car with a headless rider thundered past. Following behind were several other men that Beth had dated from time to time. Then one car almost slowed to a stop, with the worst face ever. His face was clear, it was the last man who tormented Beth. Who told her he loved her and then stole all her life savings. She would have left it alone; but this merciless monster had raped Beth’s 16-year-old daughter. Beth was going through an emotional crisis, due to the loss of her mother. When she met Randal, she was so heavy-hearted and desperate for someone to give her love and some direction in life. Her mother had left $200,000.00 in a savings account for Beth, plus $300,000.00 that Beth and her daughter's managed to save for the house they needed so badly. Some of it covered the funeral expenses. Beth knew that her mom would'nt’t mind if she cut corners here and there. After all Beth needed the money more than her beloved mother did. She had bills to pay and the bill collectors would not take dead roses as payments.

Before Beth could pay the bill collectors, she met Randal. He was from some where in San Diego and just got out of prison. That was one of the truths that he kept from Beth. He had found out about Beth’s mother dying from a friend at the mortician’s.

He worked fast and in the state of depression that Beth had sunken into, it was easy for her to trust such a scam artist. Randal raped Sara; Beth’s daughter and headed for South of the Boarder, with every dollar that Beth and her girls had. ~~~~~~


The musty smelling room grew warm and Beth could feel it spinning. Suddenly, she smelt the over powering scent of ammonia, as it was pushed up to her nose. “Get up!” A thick female’s voice boomed at her! She was confused to some degree, but she did realize that she had fainted. The female was wearing a green uniform of some type. Then Beth saw her badge. Above and beyond her the clock’s numbers began to come in clear. The damn clock was still ticking slowly; only 5 minutes had actually passed!
The guard was in a holding cell in the Supreme Court in the small town some where in San Diego, where Beth was being held as she awaited the verdict of 12 of her peers, as they voted innocent or guilty, for the premeditated murder of Randal Douglas.

Beth would have escaped, but her Medicine Powers where not as strong and her attempt to Shape shift failed. Her DNA was found in a single Eagle feather, at the death site where they found Randal's body. His penis had been bitten, not cut, from between his legs and stuffed down his throat!

With her hands cuffed and her ankles shackled Beth turned and knelt on the floor, still dizzy from fainting. The guard demanded her to stand. With her head bowed down, the lights in the room dimmed. It took all the Medicine Power inside her to break the chains that bound her. They would not find Grizzly Bear DNA in the pools of blood that were left splattered everywhere, yet the coroner’s report would show that the gashes in the guards face and abdomen would be like those of a Grizzly Bear’s. Only something as strong and protective as mother Grizzly Bear would have had the strength to tear out the window, bars and all. This time they would not find human DNA in the Eagle feather that they found lying there in the open chest of the guard.

Beth Mato had, had time to practice.

No one noticed in all the commotion, as the Eagle flew into the bleeding sunset, and flew into the cover of night as it fell on this small town somewhere in San Diego.

N.J.Lucero(2000)
(part two another time Or on request...This too is becoming a novel continuing the story of Beth Mato and her quest of MAKING THINGS RIGHT)

OLD REZ ROAD
By Nikki GreenFireEyesWoman Lucero (2000)


My Granddad was a kind and generous man full of life. Granny said he was full of "piss and vineger," but she loved him all the same. She always had a twinkle in her eye when he came into the room, something I didn't understand till I grew up.


My mom used to tell me how, long, long ago, sometime in the early 1900's, Granddad built a car, they called them automobiles back then. Actually he built two cars...inside the house! He later had to knock the walls down to get them outside. He built one for himself and one for Granny. Granny was Cherokee and very beautiful. They look so happy in the old picture I still have of them sitting, side by side in their homemade automobiles.

Granny had that special childlike grin, the kind that melts your heart, the kind that melted the heart of Granddad long, long ago. Granddad was Irish and looked something like a Leprechaun, except he was not so small. He was bald with thin white hair wrapping around the sides and back. Granddad smoked a long curved pipe that dipped down like a slide and a big bowl he always filled with tobacco whether he smoked it or not. He looked the part of a Leprechaun with his odd looking pipe.

Granddad gave me my green eyes and Granny gave me the name Green-Fire Eyes Woman. Like Granddad's, my eyes had a circle of reddish-orange around the green encircled by black.

His eyes had seen battles and wars, people and many events before the Great Depression. His eyes were always alive with fire until one day, the day he and I walked down the Old Rez Road.

Granddad called the dusty lane the Old Rez Road, because he said, " it goes where we want to go and stops where we want it to stop, by a that little creek."

Sometimes we fished the little creek all day close to sunset, but on this day we just strolled along the Old Rez Road.

"If you can't keep a promise then don't make one," he said holding my small hand in his well-aged and hard-worked hand. " Remember the Earth Mother and respect her, keep planting things, as long as you live. Always remember where you come from and where you are going." He said. In his voice I could tell he wanted to say more, but he got quiet. So I waited, as I always do. "Always keep your feet on the ground," he said finally after songbirds seemed to remind him to go on.

"Always be the best that you can ever be." He said trailing off like he did. I wasn't sure what he meant and thinking it meant that I could fall down. I agreed with him. Then in the middle of his lesson, he told me about the days when he used to ride horses and how the wind raced through the horses mane. In that moment, I felt
how young and strong my Granddad's heart was years ago and what a wonderful life he had living close to the Earth as he did, how free he must have felt long, long ago.

The sun was very warm that day and we lay on the grass and drifted of into dreams thousands of miles away from Old Rez Road. Later, as I a woke, the songbirds seemed to be too quite. The sun cast shadows across us and there was a fall chill in the air. I reached over to Granddad to wake him up and to start for home for supper. But before I could touch him a blast of his tobacco filled my nose and I stopped.

Something was different, I finally let my hand touch him and the warmth I felt from Granddad before was gone. Tears wetted my cheeks as I felt his lifeless body.

It was the saddest day of my life as a young kid growing up. But I wasn't scared, Granddad always taught me about the Promised Land that lay beyond the Old Rez Road where we would return to all our relations in the Spirit World.

Years later, I took my son for a walk on the same Old Rez Road. I told him to remember the Earth beneath our feet and to always give thanks for everything we received from her. I advised him to be the best that he could be and if you can't keep a promise then don't make one. I told him to keep both feet on the ground.

I laughed when he stomped both feet on the ground and said, "OK Mommy!" I know somewhere Granddad smiled too.

Note: With great respect I tell this story inspired by Granddad and a beautiful song, "Reservation Road, sung by Bill Miller. Reservation Road is produced by David Hoffner and Bill Miller © 1992 by Shadowchaser Music (BMI) Dreams Of The West Music (BMI) Eaglespath Publishing (ASAP).

Nikki GreenFireEyesWoman Lucero

(2000)

Dedicated to My Granny and Mom and to all My Cherokee Relations!
As remembered by: Nikki GreenFireEyesWoman Lucero

The New Colorful Creatures

Authors note:
This is a Cherokee story, past down from the 1800's, as remembered by
Nikki Lucero.
Many stories were told this way and throughout the years the stories
may have changed a little bit here and there. No matter how the story is
read or told; the moral of the story is not EXPLAINED. It is up to the
individual listener/reader to feel the moral from his or her heart.


}*{~~~~}*{~~~~}*{~~~~}*{


A long time ago, before the time when the white blanket
covers the earth, when all the colors disappear and animals sleep; Grandfather sat under a tree that had begun to drop yellow leaves to the ground. He knew that soon there would be no more beautiful colors or lovely things for the children to look at and play with. Grandfather was sad. He began to
think of some way to make pretty colors for the children to look at as a reward for being so good all winter long.
Finally he got a lovely idea. On the next beautiful day, he
began to work on his new idea. He made a large pouch of leather. Inside
this pouch he put several items of things that had bright colors:
Yellow leaves from the Sun , green from the evergreen tree, blue from
the sky, black from the raven's wing, orange from a squash, and red from
some flowers: he spent all day looking for many beautiful items for this
special bag that he made for the children. At the last minute he put the songs
from the songbirds in there too. Then with a twinkle in his eyes, he hung
with great care the pouch in a tree, where it would be safe.
He then gathered the children around and said, " Dear children, winter is coming and the white blanket will cover all the land, hiding all the colors, and many creatures will sleep until the spring comes. Do not be sad, I have made a wonderful new creature in this pouch and it must stay here safe until the snow begins to melt. It will be a reward for the ones that do not cry because there is nothing to do, or the ones who complain about the cold, or your hunger. You must be careful of these little creatures they are small and delicate, yet they are very important.
The children became very excited and begged Grandfather
to let them peek into the pouch. Grandfather was very patient as he warned the children that if any one looked inside before the warmth of spring
came, then spring would be spoiled, and winter would stay forever. The
children all agreed that a winter staying forever would not be fun or do well
for the people. Their beautiful peach trees would never bloom again. Life would be terrible. So they all agreed to leave the pouch alone. They all knew
that Grandfather's rules where to be respected and not broken.
Finally, one morning a few months later, the days began to warm up and the snow began to melt. The children gathered around the tree, sang songs of
happiness, and warm spring days coming. There they waited patiently
like Grandfather had taught them.
The pouch in the tree started to wiggle and squirm, and suddenly: POOF! The pouch burst open! Fluttering out flew these tiny winged creatures, smaller than any birds! Even smaller than the hummingbird! The
children were so pleased; they carefully chased them, laughed at them,
and made up new little songs to sing and dances to dance. Their little
bird-like singing was sweeter than any sound that had ever been heard before.
A little brown song bird came and landed on Grandfather
and said, "Dear Grandfather, you are wise, kind and fair; however this time
you are not fair. You took away the most beautiful thing we birds had: OUR
SONGS! Please Grandfather, give us back our songs, these little creatures are so beautiful they do not need our songs too!" Grandfather who was very
wise, kind, and fair said, " Little song bird, of course you are right, these
little creatures do have beautiful colors, it is not fair to let them
have your voices too." So Grandfather gave the songbirds back their songs.
Then to the children he said, "These little creatures are
small and very pretty, yet, they have a very important job," the children
were silent as Grandfather spoke, " There job is to wake up early in
the spring, and go around to all the new flowers and give them kisses and
wake them up, and this will help them to grow." The children all cheered
and everyone was so happy! One little girl asked, " Grandfather, what
shall we name the new creatures?" Grandfather was thinking, when suddenly all the pretty creatures started to kiss the Buttercups, and Grandfather got
his idea," They went first to the buttercups, and they fly, let them be
called BUTTERFLIES!" He announced.
So, to this day they are called Butterflies, although they are
small they have a very important job and they are very beautiful to
look at.
N.J.Lucero/First time in print: 04/01/01(printed here 4/30/03)

Where will I go Grandmother?"
By Nikki GreenFireEyesWoman Lucero
(2000)

The Child lay still in her Grandmother's arms, looking up she asked, "Where will I go Grandmother?" The Grandmother spoke through a painful throat, "You are going to begin a journey in a far away world,
there many people wait for you." She said, and the cube in her throat grew and almost choked her. "Then why are you sad Grandmother?", Asked the Child in a quiet voice.

"I am sad because I will not see you again for a long time, I will miss you." The Grandmother said, this time tears did roll down her face, and she let them. She wanted to show her Granddaughter that tears are normal and this trip was joyful, as well as sad.

Sometimes that is the way things are.

There were now others gathering around the Woman and Child. They began to sing warm and happy songs. The older men beat on little drums that they carried, and women sang songs in their language, the language of the Cherokee People. Far, far away Songbirds could be heard, so softly, yet it made many remember the days of their passing and the days before their passing. There was a mixture of happiness and sadness.

Quietly the clouds began to part and the sunbeams shone brightly onto the Grandmother and the Child. Tears fell from her as well as the other people, they where happiness tears and perhaps some sadness. Somewhere it also began to rain and through the rain shone a Rainbow.

Now Grandfather stepped forward and said, "My Child, are you ready to take your journey?" A little voice answered, "Yes Grandfather, I am ready to go."

Grandfather lit the sage bundle and began to sing in his deep, old, yet comforting voice.
"Now you leave us, your life so new, now you leave us, memories of this place are silenced, now your voice is taken from you, now you leave us, we rejoice, we cry. When it rains you will be happy, but remember us you will not, now you leave us, to go on a journey, all of us have traveled before...
May you feel the comfort of this new place, it can be wonderful, it can be terrible, you may have pain, and make mistakes, may you grow and learn from your pain and your trials. You are leaving us now, your voice is gone, only the sound of crying will you be able to make, to tell the people What you need , may they listen and understand you, may they be patient until you learn to speak again...Blessed journey little one. "

The Child was lifted from the arms of her Grandmother; her body seemed lifeless and very small in the large arms of Grandfather. She was placed on soft white material and it began to float down ward following the Rainbow.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Deep in the forest the voices of women could be heard coming from a small skin covered dome shaped hut, " Push, sister, push once more…" Sounds of muffled pain could be heard, then the cry of a new born baby. " Sister, you have brought forth a girl child, she came here from the Rainbow, She will be called: Rainbow Morning Star."

The baby was cleaned and the eldest of the women brought her into her arms, and picked up a lit bundle of sage, waved it over the new child and asked that she be blessed as she begins her journey in this world. She sang a song in her language, the language of the Cherokee, blessing the child and thanking Great Spirit for her safe delivery and for her good health and that also of her Mother's.
NJLUCERO(2000)

The Biggest Geode
by Nikki N.J.Lucero (rated R)
4/3/2004
(Note: Parts of this story are based on truth and some are purely fictional. Names have been changed and some characteristics have been exaggerated to make the story a STORY. The mind is a wonderful thing. Don’t you think?)

They were all digging for Geodes in the California desert, just before spring and it was already hot.
Deep in the desert, a place called Wiley Wells, near the boarder of Arizona, in an area known as Blyth. Yes, the heat was in the high 90’s already.
They were “EARTH-MOVERS”, a Rock hounding on line club formed to go out and meet people and dig for all sorts of rocks. Some people just went for the social aspect; others really were die hard rock hounds. All in all they had fun. Collected rocks. Most of the time the trips were uneventful. Not this time. “The Heat”, some would say or maybe “That Time of the month…” others might say. Whatever that is supposed to mean. Men had a way to blame a woman’s monthly visit from Aunt FLOW as something that only women get and only women can turn into feverish killing monsters.
Not so. Men are just as capable as getting “moody” and without loosing a drop of blood.Well the group was mostly men.
Some wives and girlfriends tagged along and some of those women were really into rock hounding as much or more than their husbands. There was one single gal, Martha. Martha was your cliché of a snooty librarian. Martha, the name it self sounded old maidish. She did not wear librarian clothes on these trips. No way, she dressed to get rocks. Why she wore those thigh high, fly fishing boots no one knew. Protection from rattlers some thought. There was no river close enough to go fly-fishing in the closest one was the Colorado about 45 miles and across the California/Arizona boarder. Well other things were quirky about Martha, She was found sitting at night in her parked car Outside the Wiley Wells prison. There were signs posted everywhere: NO PARKING, NO PICKING UP ANY ONE ON FOOT…etc. The normal warning signs found out near prisons. There, Martha sat at night no less. Some of the late comers of the Earth-Movers saw her sitting there on the last night. What she was thinking no one knew.The late comers were the Owner of the group, Mott Stanley, another single woman and Mott’s wife and two children a girl of 12 and a little baby. They HONKED at Martha and she blinked her headlights and they saw her start down the road again in their rear view mirrors. They told everyone back at camp what they had seen. It was a topic of the conversation for a brief minute, when out of the dark a man walked up. He was a stocky man about 5 foot 6, weighing about 250ish. He walked up as friendly as could be, as if he was at a cocktail party and just mingling with us other guests.
“Pardon me, but can I camp out here? Well way over there any way?”
The other campers looked at each other. Puzzled. Cooper, one of the main guys in the group stepped up with a beer in his hand, “You can camp ANY WHERE you like…out here.” Pointing out all the “any where’s” with his can of beer. “ Oh cool, I am here to look for and dig rocks…” Again everyone looked at each other. They all knew most of the rock hounds, maybe he was one that did not get on the list? Drew asked,” So, hey are you a Earth-Mover?”“A what, Or who?” A puzzled look over came his round bearded face. If he were shorter he would look like one of those Hobbits everyone was talking about. “We are Earth-Movers, rock hounds from the Internet, how did you hear about hunting rocks out here?” Cooper always spoke more on a few beers.“Oh a few friends told me about this place, I am not a member of your group, but can I be? That would be SWEET!”
“Sure, that's fine.” Someone said…
“ Yeah, that's cool, what are you looking for, in rocks I mean?” Cooper asked. “ GEODES, I am going to find the biggest one!” Every one’s eyes rolled.
A newbie rock hound to be sure!
“Oh by the way, I am Chris, Chris Mothersload, Pleased to meet you all.” He tipped his base ball cap, it was red and had white printing that said, “SAY CHEESE!”The topics flowed and dropped. Jokes where told laughter was enjoyed. Some campers went off to bed. Leaving Mott, Cooper, and Newbie Chris to drink a few more beers, and have fun pulling a prank on some campers that pulled in late. They also had a Bon Fire flaring up into the already warm night desert sky. They are men and men bond in unusual ways. But their fun did not harm anyone.
Cooper and Mott were great friends, and they learned a lot about Chris. But unfortunately not enough. They learned he wanted to find the biggest Geode to send home to his Pop, in Maine. They learned that he was great at participating in pranks. There was some very important information they did not find out. Chris had carved up his wife and her lover and they were waiting for him neatly wrapped up in newspaper and plastic, in his trailer he had parked about ¼ of a mile across from Cooper and Mott’s group. Yeah Chris, his wife and her lover were going to find the biggest Geode. This was one little tidbit of information that Mott and Cooper did not find out.
They and the rest of the campers would never know this important information as they warmly welcomed Chris into their camp site and into the Yahoo Group: Earth- Movers.
“Earth-Movers”, Chris chuckled over his secret and this name as he got back into his trailer that night and went to sleep on the pull out bed in the kitchen, in his murder box on wheels.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next morning came too early for some. But all the Earth-Movers were showing up bright eyed and bushy tailed…as they say. Ready to bust rock…move earth and do whatever it takes to find Geodes.
While late nighters woke up and stirred up coffee; others that slept in town, in comfortable beds in Motels and ate big breakfasts at Denny’s ®, made small talk and tried to plan where they would go dig today.
Chris unhitched his truck from the trailer, He had moved it in the night trying to leave it out of sight from the road and closer to the digging sites.
He joined the group as if he was the most eager of newbie rock hounds there ever was. “ So where we going today?” If he had been a dog his tail would be wagging all over the place with excited happiness.
People that had not met him the night before where looking at him with due curiosity. He sort of felt he had been accepted into the group and he just started to ask all sorts of questions. People looked at him with the blank, “Who the hell?” looks. Chris just kept asking questions. Finally Mott asked him a question, “ Hey Chris, where is your trailer?” Looking off into the desert Cooper also now noticed that the Trailer was gone. “Oh I just took it out closer to the Geode digs, I plan on staying out there closer to it tonight.” He was going to find the Biggest Geode, He was Mothersload going to find the “Mother load” of them all! Mott and Cooper nodded with approval.
Martha heard his newbiness questions, looked at him with a twinkle in her eyes she had not had since she was a teenager looking at Bobby Sherman. She was taken by his newbie dumbness and his enthusiasm to find the biggest Geode.
He was mistaken there; SHE was going to find it. She would tag-a-long with him to make sure she did! Her little two-wheel drive Honda was not going to make the rough drive to the Geode dig site. So she warmed up to him. Chris was all for it, “ Sure I will take you to the dig site, do you know what to look for?” “ Oh yes, I am a school teacher and a Geologist major!” He was surprised and happy like Charley finding the “GOLDEN TICKET” in Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.
Everyone was talking about this and that. Finally it was all sorted out. First they would go to an Agate site and collect there. It was an easy find someone with knowledge had expressed. Then possible more Geode digging and then to a Fire Agate site which was going to be the hardest of digs. “Like getting a Coke® bottle out of a cement block.” Someone else said.
So off they all went.
Cooper and his girlfriend, Crystal Fire Eyes Woman, their 2 dogs, Mott and his daughter in one truck, His wife and baby and one lady in another truck, several other group members and last of all Chris and Martha each one thought they was going to get the biggest Geode! It was 11:00 and already getting hot. “Let’s ROCK AND LOAD!” Mott yelled out his 4X4.
His CD Blaring away: "Piling the bodies Burn them in the night Skin grows black and withered Decayed smell will rise"*

Crystal Fire Eyes Woman yelled out a throaty high pitched yodel, like Xena Warrior princess everyone said, but to her it was the call of her people when they where in approval or highly excited. Vehicles Va-ROOOOMED and roared…Dust flew! They were Earth- Movers on the go! After about ten minutes of bumpy road, all the vehicles made it to the dig site.
First site: Agate. People were very happy here buckets were filled people chatted. They loaded up. They drove on.
Second Site: Cinnamon Minds. Not many Geodes where found, but a lot of “Drusy” (tiny sparkly crystals) the color of cinnamon also blackish was found by Cooper and Crystal Fire Eyes Woman. Some people found some small Geodes. Chris kept going around in his Newbieness and asking, “ Is THIS a Geode?” or “Did you find something good yet?” It was getting on people's last over heated nerves. Some just rolled their eyes, Crystal Fire Eyes Woman told him, “ What is good for ME might be shit to everyone else, find what you like, find what calls to you.” She had a way to tell people off without hurting their feelings most of the time, she was getting hot also and needed to drink water. She walked away blankly looking for her water.
Chris stood there for a moment; his white face was turning redder by the minute. He was sweating from his head, maybe his head was melting… “Hey look what I found…Is this a Geode? Is it any good?” he wandered around in a crazy circle asking the same set of questions to the same people all of which looked at him and said basically the same thing in different ways that Crystal Fire Eyes Woman had said. His brain was sizzling he was nearing heat stroke. One by one people stopped digging and said good-byes and drove off in homeward bound directions. Mott and some friends that caught up with the group talked about driving to the Fire Agate Mine. Martha heard that most people where leaving. Mott was trying to convince Chris to come dig Fire Agates, but Chris was on the edge of sunstroke and did not care about Fire Agates. He just wanted to know if what he found was an Geode, he wanted to know if he went to the other Geode digging site with Martha how could he catch up to Mott? Mott simply told him that he could not do both. Like a little boy, Chris pouted. Crystal Fire Eyes Woman put her hand on his shoulder,“Hey man, it is gonna be OK! Just go to the Geodes, you said you wanted the biggest you could find, for your Pop, right? Well go with Martha she will show you what to look for and how to get there. Anyway digging the Fire Agates is for more advanced rock hounds, they say it is like trying to take a Coke® bottle out of cement!” He looked less wounded now, it was the calming in her voice like a cool breeze, refreshing his spirit. He nodded. “Drink water man, you’re over heating yourself…” He nodded again and walked away. Walked over to Martha. Martha was complaining about wanting to go to the geode site, The Hauser Beds. Someone was trying to ask her "What part of the Hauser Beds? These are ALL Hauser Beds". She was very annoyed looking. Also over heating herself, in those long boots. Finally Cooper told her how to get to the spot where he had gone with her the night before. Chris listened also. They where planning to go there together. Everyone got into their vehicles and drove again into different directions. Cooper and Crystal Fire Eyes drove to the camp again to take it down and start home, Mott and everyone else left started to head to the Fire Agate digs, Chris and Martha headed to the Geodes, finally!
Martha ordered Chris to “Turn HERE!” “GO THERE!” (She was only missing the Whip!) They made it to the same place she had gone to briefly with Cooper the night before; she had scouted around and found several good sized Geodes. She had the Geode fever as well as impending heat stroke fever.
Chris was pleased at the amount of holes, “Nice deep holes, will save us digging!” He bounced out of the car, grabbed a soda from the cooler in the truck bed. Martha was also out of the truck and into a deep hole with shovel and bucket. She was going to find the Biggest Geode if it killed her! She did not even mutter anything back to Chris!
She was on a mission.
It was getting near 5 o’clock now. The hole she had been digging in all these hours was very deep. Deep enough for what Chris needed. Martha was smoothing off dirt from something the size of a basketball. Chris had stopped looking in holes, he had collected enough of what he thought was Geodes. None of them bigger than tennis balls, most the sized of golf balls. He was sitting on the ledge of Martha’s “claim”.
He had been drinking beers now because he ran out of soda. He had no water with him and all.
Martha had a small canteen with some water in it. She had been sipping it from time to time.
Martha was trying to lift out this large Geode. Chris jumped in the pit and offered to help. Martha let him. She was tired but she was not going to leave with out this Geode. He put a crow bar behind the bumpy dome and pulled. It gave loud POP! and rolled onto Martha’s lap! She gave a squeal of delight! Chris picked it up off her and danced around with it! “WHOOO! Lookie here! WOW! My Pop sure is gonna like this!” Martha looked at him like he stole a large pile of gold! With a crazy gleam in her eyes she jumped up. Reached into her tall boots and brought out a blade about 13 inches long! With a swift silent motion she sliced though Chris’s wrist. He not only lost the Geode but his hand as well! Blood sprayed out into the hole and he grabbed onto the squirting stub as he sunk into the hole. He lifted his head to scream a protest, SLASH! The blade in the crazy Martha’s hand sliced his head off! “No claim jumping allowed!” Boomed a strange deep voice out of Martha’s parched throat. She quickly wiped his blood off her blade using his own shirt. Then replaced the blade into the same tall boot.
She then grabbed the Geode before it could get more blood on it. She placed it on the edge of the hole. She went to the truck. She scouted around for the keys. They where not in the ignition. So she knew they would have to be in his pocket. She walked over to him and took her shovel and pushed him from his stomach to his back. She found the keys in his pants pocket. She put them into her own pants pocket. And took up her shovel and started to fill in the hole now occupied with the man that had planned to use the hole for his cheating wife and her lover’s body parts.
Martha was weary and very hot. Dehydration was going to take a toll on her very soon. She sat a moment and drank some water. She remembered there was beer in his cooler. She needed one of those she thought. She drank one so fast and grabbed another and sat down to sip this one a little slower.
She looked at the Geode. She worshiped the perfect round shape like a gypsy looking for the future in a crystal ball. She wiped his blood off of it. She could always say she cut herself getting it out. Rock hounds are notorious for hand wounds. She bashed her hand against the Geode now to make her story work. She reached into her shirt pocket and took out a handkerchief to tie onto her now bleeding hand. She finished the beer. She had work to do and was now loosing light.
She suddenly became frozen. Awake but stuck in her place, the ledge of the hole with a handless, headless man lying in it. This happened to her sometimes. It had happened the night before, when Mott saw her sitting and spacing out in front of the prison. It was the medication she took for depression, it seemed to be placing her into these paralyzing fogs. She would sometimes sit for hours just staring, she did not think of anything usually her brain just seemed to shut off too. By the time she snapped out of this one she barely had time to cover the whole and get the hell out of there in just barely a crack of sun light. She covered the hole. Picked up her Geode and placed it into the passengers side of the truck. She looked around one last time. For anything she might have missed. Was his foot sticking out of the hole? Damn it, it was! So she hurried over and started to place large rocks all over his damn foot. When she was done doing that the sun had finally sunk!
She had some way to go to get to the campsite to her car. So she drove fast over bumps and dips. Racing this way and that. Panic hit her when she realized that she was lost! “Shit!” She thought to herself. Then she yelled it,"SHIT!" She just kept going turn after turn. She finally came to a big dip in the road. At least that was her last thought, “Damn that is a big dip!” But it was a cliff! A 50-foot drop! On the way down the Geode knocked her in the head she lost consciousness before the truck hit the ground and exploded into flames. The Geode escaped all injuries as it fell out the opened driver’s window as the driver took one final nap. Martha had wasted injuring her hand; the Geode was now covered with blood from her skull. The truck burns into the night. No winds to pick up and carry around the flames. A pilot in an over head plane thinks it is just another camper with a bon fire roaring.

In the morning two guys in there late teens drive into Wiley Wells camp and see Martha’s Car. They are on dirt bikes and have just both run out of gas. They had smoked some weed early this morning from another campsite further out east of where Martha’s car was. They walked up to her car and decided to hot-wire it and “barrow” it for a while to get into town for more gas. They came back about 40 minutes or more later. They had gotten the munchies and so stopped at a roadside café. No one had showed up to claim the car they drove. They found rope in the car and tied one three wheeler dirt bike to the car in case they needed it to get out of the desert. So they took it for a drive. The 2-wheel drive Honda did not like the road at all or towing a dirt bike. That was OK because Frank and Terry found a cool looking trailer out there in the middle of no where. The hiked over to it and as soon as they where at the door they smelled the dead flesh of Anna and Carlos, Chris’s dead wife and her lover. They both leaned in opposite directions and puked all of the eggs and ham breakfast they had eaten. “DUDE! What the fuck! Man something stinks to hell in there man!” “Fuckin’ no way are we going in that thing!” “ Dude, Man I just lost my whole fuckin breakfast!” “Fuck that shit man! Let’s burn this mother!” “Hells Yea!” So they went off to get one of the 5-gallon tanks of gas they filled up on. They soaked the trailer with the gas. Lighting it was just too easy and boring they decided. So they doused a few more drops of gas on Martha’s car. Frank was the bravest dude there was in his college. So he told Terry to hang back with the dirt bike and get ready to “Ride the Hell outta here!” Frank got in backed up away from the trailer, he had found in the back a pole thing that looked like a golf club, it was gonna fit just fine against the gas peddle and seat. He started off. Door open, pole on the gas, braced on the seat, and he rolled out of the car and onto the ground. Ran back to Terry and they both watched the Honda crash into the trailer and BAM! Anna and Carlos’s remains cut and wrapped, hidden in the cupboards in the trailer went up in smoke!
“DUDE!” “SWEET!” was all Terry and Frank managed saying. They watched a few minutes and headed back to the other dirt bike.
They lite up a victory joint, sat there smoking a few hits and drove off in another direction. No one stops them they keep driving.

Sometimes the desert is a wonderful place full of wondrous cactus, thorny ocotillo, snakes and sometimes the biggest geodes around…sometimes they are filled with the biggest secrets and most wonderful stories.

*Infernal Death
by DEATH Scream Bloody Gore (1987)

Circle of Crazy Forgotten Females
By N.J.Lucero/ Oct. 2003
(The following story is not true; it is a writing exercise that I followed an outline for in the book, ABOUT WRITING by Stephen King. The exercise begins on pg. 170 and finishes on pg. 173 any resemblance’s to real people is a coincidence. Njlucero 10/08/03)

As I sat in the familiar room, I looked around at the faces. Other insane females that had chosen the wrong, or right, depending on whose moccasins you’re walking in, paths in their lives and wound up here: 2 P.M. Group therapy, in Gloria’s House for Criminally Insane. I did not belong here, they did. I was like a female Mc Murphy, from One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest.
This place was not a ‘HOUSE’ it was more like an institution and no one named Gloria ran the place. It was run by a large black woman name BIRDIE…I mean LARGE…6 foot 4, 300lbs. (No where near anything like a BIRD) It was ironic though that her name was Birdie and this place resembled the nut house in that great novel and movie.
Nurse Prendlemier was in charge of our 2 P.M. Group. She was on duty from 7 AM to 4 PM. She was also the Head Nurse on the floor. Nurse Shultz was in charge with Randall and Devon two orderlies that helped her pass out the meds. They were also on duty during the day shift.
We sat in a circle and most of the patients just stared off into whatever world they saw out there. Some tried to say stuff but it was usually just medicated nonsense. I was the only one that wanted to speak. Mind however, that I was not the only one that listened. Nurse Prendlemier would always try very hard to get the others to speak. They just would either not have anything to say or be too ‘doped’ up to speak. It was not because I usually took over the whole group hour. Sometimes I did not speak just to show the Nurse that I was right, I WAS THE ONLY ONE THAT WANTED TO SPEAK. I felt she hated me for actually being “insane” and right. But was I really insane? Or was that the title I was given by society, by the citizens of Los Angeles and finally by 12 of my peers? For once attempting to kill my husband. Then for actually killing him the last time I had him in my sight.
The room was cement and cold most of the time. Birdie would cut corners when the government cut her funds. During the day in the spring and summer it was warm sometimes very hot. The windows on the third floor were barred to prevent jumping. Sometimes Birdie visited up here just to make sure things were running smooth. Heaven forbid that we would get a State Health inspection and for her to get reprimanded for not following by the book. Sometimes for sort periods of time she would allow the fan cages to be rolled out and secured to the walls. I am telling you it was just like the room in Cuckoo’s Nest. One large room with restrooms and showers in the north of the room, then the beds, ten in all, hospital style minus the bars on the sides and low to the ground. Then a recreation area with tables and chairs all around. One television was secured up above and inside a cage. There was an area that had chairs from two PM to three PM for our group circle. But the orderlies took them away after we used them. Then there was the medicine cage. It had a double thick wired window. It had one door leading out into the patient’s room and one going out to the rest of the building.
From the west wall the sun shined through one of the windows and heated up a pool of piss from one of our “peeing me-me’s”(we had screamers too, “Screaming me-me’s” I called them so I made up a name for the pissers). The smell mingled with vomit, (that the orderlies had not cleaned up yet), mix in the smell of cigarette smoke that clung to everything, (we were allowed three smoking breaks a day, all monitored of course.)Also, I don’t know why but in every place like this or old folk’s homes I noticed the aroma of Graham Crackers ®.
We had two pissers, Carol, who drooled and peed 24-7. I wondered at times where it all came from. She was only 90 pounds and just barely five- foot even. She had black eyes that looked like those all black contacts, the kind that take away the whites of your eyes, black hair that was cut short in a boot camp style. They cut her hair because she had a habit of tearing it out until her scalp bled and then she would eat her hair. Her skin was white with blue veins pulsing through everywhere. She had scars on her wrists, hands, arms and parts of her legs. She was a ‘Cutter’ I heard them say, so she was not allowed to use scissors on craft day. However, some of the scars were from wrist and ankle restraints. Why she peed we did not know.
No one, but me, knew that Greta peed, but she did also.
Greta was the opposite of Carol. She was 6 foot tall and about 200 lbs. She had Blond hair, really blond not bleached. Her two front upper teeth were missing. And she had the name “Angel” tattooed on her left shoulder and a cute little angel on her right shoulder. No one ever saw her pee. But I did. When the orderlies came to scold Carol for pissing the floor and take her away to hose her down as a punishment, Greta would come and take her panties off and pee right on top of Carol’s piss. I never told, I just observed. I thought, ‘Hey job security for these people…if we were not insane we wouldn't’t be doing crazy stuff like pee on ourselves or the floors or chairs, then they would not have this job would they?’ Anyway was I getting paid to snitch? I don’t think so. So let them pee was my silent motto. . It was bizarre to say the least, but then what do I know? I am INSANE.
Today’s topic, at the circle of crazy forgotten females, was, “As a child did we feel loved?” That was Nurse Prendlemier’s topic, Mine was, “The Reason I tried to Kill my Ex was…” I kept trying to tell my story. How…
“ I used all sorts of pills, I found in his stash, added them to coffee to see how well they would dissolve,” “Jane!” The Nurse warned. I would continue, “…tossed the ones that did not dissolve like cream in the coffee. Then, I heard…” “JANE!” The Nurse would almost scream, “Can you please stay on the topic?” “Well no one is gonna talk about YOUR topic anyway so why can’t I talk about what really matters? And that is the reason I am here…”
“ Hey, let ‘er speak ‘bout it…” said one of the females who speaks up in times like this, Billie.
Billie had a hauntingly beautiful yet rough voice. The kind that people get after screaming all night during wild love making, a rock concert, or too many smokes, and then try to sooth it over with warm tea and spoonfuls of honey. Billie was almost as tall as Greta was; she had at one time a great shape, like someone that takes care of herself, perhaps a body builder. I felt that she really did not belong here either, not like some did. I felt she was misunderstood in whatever circumstance that brought her here, like I had been. She knew about me because I had spoken out when the topic was, “All about me.” Like always I was the only one who spoke that day also. On that day I saw a tiny tear force it’s way down her cheek. She tried holding it back but that little tear finally won and was released. I felt that, what I had said had reached way down inside that tough body and squeezed out one solo tear. Our souls joined on that day. My pain was her pain. Maybe in the same way or maybe just enough to really feel like home.
The Nurse just looked at Billie and then to me. “Ok”, she said as she looked into my eyes, “Have it your way Jane!”
“ Well, I heard the water from his shower turn off…” I continued not skipping a beat. This story was all too familiar to me and I did not have to recall it to my memory banks. It was there. “ I knew I only had a few moments left before he would get out of the shower to go dress in the room. We had a full length mirror in there and he loved to look at his full figure in it.” When I said this Billie smiled, “Dharma the Drooler” drooled more though her smiling mouth. Even the Nurse cracked a smile. I saw it but did not let on that I did, I had a story to tell, and I had been given The Floor! “The electric shaver! It was Monday and he had to shave, this gave me at least 5 more minutes to prepare his special coffee. I was just a simple housewife and knew nothing about the stash I found of assorted drugs he kept to get high before one of his ‘GIGS’. Back then he was in a rock band called ‘Sucking It Raw’ or something like that…he would get high before going on stage, all the guys did. I knew he was ‘messing’ around, all the guys did that too. There was one girl though that really drove me nuts. A blond bimbo, I know cliché right? Well that is the way it was. She called the house at all hours day and night. She even came to the house once while he was out. She was about 19 years old if that. I don’t know which bothered me more the calls that woke me up or that he gave our phone number to her. It was not a good enough reason to try to kill him. Not by using drugs. I mean they would not pin that on me, he had a drug abuse problem and it would not be his first over dose. The Band called him, ‘Dickey OD’ because of it. He would probably be driving, then the drugs would take affect, he might crash into an innocent family on their way to work and school…I would feel guilty forever. So I put the concoction down the sink and made him fresh coffee with cream and sugar.” I paused a short moment here to take in a breath…then continued,
“One night I showed up unexpectedly at his show. This one groupie, the blond that called the house, was back stage giving him a blow-job. I walked in just as he was shooting off in her. He was really into it too, grabbing the back of her head and forcing her to stay there to drink his juice… ”
“OK, Jane! I think we have heard enough of your fantasy…”
“Oh shudap you old crow and let ‘er talk, do you think any uh us is gonna open up as much as she does?” Once again an evil stare at Billie then at me.
I continued as Billie finished. Paying no attention to the Nurse. “I was three months pregnant with our first. I really did not feel like being there, but at the last moment I had the craving to go and see what does go on there. I sort of felt that I would find that sort of thing going on. I did not even let him know I was there. I turned and silently walked away, luckily no one saw me. That was my way. Revenge now had to be a quick, painful death. I went home and cried. I was so emotionally upset that I had cramps really bad, being my first baby I was a little worried. At first I thought I was having diarrhea cramps. I usually get diarrhea when I have an emotional upset; this was one of those times. However this time it got real bad. I started to bleed! I called my Mom and she rushed over and took me to the hospital where I had a very painful miscarriage. Painful because I was loosing a child, OUR first. Painful because I went in for the D and C (a uterine type of cleansing or scraping after you have a miscarriage, also used in abortions) and all I had on my mind was some young blond bitch sucking my man’s cock! Try that on for pain! Pain? OH YES! Enough to make someone go INSANE, you might say.”
Well, The Nurse was actually dabbing something out of one of her eyes. So was Billie. Everyone else was just quiet, staring off into there own little worlds.
“Then what happened?” It was the orderly, Randall. He had joined the group sometime ago as he sometimes does when I speak. Devon was also in the background mopping piss and barf.
“Well after his gig, he heard I was in the hospital and rushed over to see if the baby was OK…upon hearing it had been lost, he ran to my room, screaming like the crazy man he really was. “JANE you fucked up whore!” Was the last thing I remember hearing. He had grabbed one of those IV stands. He began beating me up with it. My mom was the first one on the scene; she had just gone out for coffee and was bringing it back to my room while we waited for my release. I was not going to be released after he beat the shit out of me. My Mom threw the hot coffee on his face. Then pushed him into the little patient’s bathroom, closed the door and blocked it. My Mom was a big strong woman and hated his guts from the get go. The Hospital security was notified and he was taken away, examined treated for some minor burns and released to the police.” He then was taken away and spent the night in the jail. He was let out the next day because I did not press charges. Not because I felt sorry for him, but because I had other plans for that cheater.
Anyway after I healed and was released, I went home and when everything was quiet and no one was around, I beat him good with his $3,000.00 Cherry Red Fender ®. Breaking it to bits and putting him in the hospital and me in Jail for assault with the intent to kill. I spent time in a mental institute until I broke out and went for him again. This time he was coming home early he had received a note from his ‘wife’, ‘Please CUM home for an afternoon fling…I LOVE YOU!” it said. It was typed and sent with a bunch of wild flowers to his work. It had been one year since I had been sent away and he took up with that blond blow-job giver from that fatal night. So he was very eager to go get his nuts sucked dry.
He must have heard the news on the radio about three escapees from the institution that I had been in. Heard how two were caught and one remained at large. None of us had been identified at the time. I had heard the news broad cast too, in the flower shop and in the Taxi on the drive over to our home. He seemed to feel that his time was up as he walked into the house. He paused at the door but closed it all the same. Sweat dripped off his forehead and danced on his upper lip. His lungs filled with the smoke of Sage…I always cleansed with Sage…He used to tease me saying it smelled like pot. I knew his mind raced back to the days we made wild Native Love, naked in the moon light…long, long ago. He never heard me coming, I had been taught to hunt silently by my Grandpa. I was swift with my hunter’s knife. One slice to his jugular veins just enough to let him start to bleed. Then I cut through his pants, I grabbed his dick and while his eyes bugged in horror and blood pulsed through his open throat as he tried to scream, I looked into his eyes and whacked that little trouble-making dick off, right at the nuts! Stuffed into his mouth as far as I could get it!
AND WHA LA’! Here I am! INSANE JANE! At the 2PM circle of crazy forgotten females…” I said this waving my hands out in front of me like a magician finishing her magic act.
The room was quiet. The Nurse turned white and got up holding her mouth, knocked her chair over and ran a few steps toward the bathroom, but slipped on the freshly mopped floor and puked all over where she lay. Randall grew white and nearly fainted. Devon dropped his mop and was actually holding his crotch; (you know how men relate to the TERROR of having their tool cut off). Carol was off pissing in the near-by corner. Billie actually looked pleased with the end of my story.
It was now 3PM. Nurse Shultz was bringing the ‘meds’. Group was over.

NJLucero/Oct 7, 2003