That's been my refrain for the last two days. It's been a peaceful, comforting feeling to be trapped inside by the rain that's parked itself over DFW area. If it went on for a week, maybe I'd complain, but not about two days after weeks and weeks of blistering heat and sun. Besides, being trapped inside means significant progress on my book, quilt, living room painting, and I watched a movie with my son! Must have something to do with being from the North. My daughter said she'd been having memory flashbacks about PA all day.

"Listen to the rhythm of the falling rain, telling me it's time to go home." Home is a state of mind, though.

So, what is that I'm feeling about the latest revision and life? Apathetic. Here's Merriam-Webster's definition of my current mood.

*\ˌa-pə-ˈthe-tik\
* adjective
* Date: 1744

1 : having or showing little or no feeling or emotion : spiritless
2 : having little or no interest or concern : indifferent
synonyms see impassive

— ap·a·thet·i·cal·ly \-ti-k(ə-)lē\ adverb

Couldn't get much more to the point. Not that I'm not working, says the woman typing on LJ instead of her ms. It's just that I'm not too excited to do it. Maybe if I paint the living room first, I'll feel more like writing. Or not. Okay. I'll get to it, otherwise, it will never get done. Ugh.

I spent two hours crafting two articles for an online group that claims to pay for your expertise. Since fiction isn't exactly breaking my bank, I'm looking for other outlets to write for. I started with punctuation and attribution in dialogue because they were bite size chunks and these articles are 600 words max. Their counter also works differently than my word counter. Go figure that one out! Do they count contractions as two words? I'm not sure if it's worth it, but I'm trying to make an attempt to branch out from fiction to a steadier source of writer funds, and hopefully freelance nonfiction will help.

How many days left until school and long, quiet, uninterrupted days? Seven. Will I look back on this time wishing I hadn't wished it away? Nope. It's okay to look forward to something good, especially one that will remove an argumentative, grumpy teenager from my presence for nine hours a day. I can hear the stress ebbing away.

I've been listening to Dickens' Bleak House while I do yard work and clean. I, of course, chose the unabridged version, which is 39 hours 16 minutes. (I do a lot of yard work between vegie and flower gardens and the horses.) Then yesterday I stumbled across an abridged version that was only 3.5 hours! My first thought was how had they shrunk this complicated book down to only that little time? Or was the reader like one of those disclaimer people at the end of the ads? Barreling through text at a rate only the Chipmunks could understand? I dismissed the abridged version as likely better than Cliff Notes, but not by much.

Then today, while weeding, I turned Bleak House on and came ear-to-head with the contrast between today's truncated writing and the massive tome that Dickens wrote. Sure, one could cut that passage about the cart struggling up the hill, and all the subsequent references to said cart. But would Joe's death hold the pain and poignancy if one did? I don't think so. There's magic in the grand word pictures Dickens indulged in rendering. There's mood and motive and humor. There's character. I still smile thinking of how the dance master's father's eyes crease when he sits because he's so tightly bound by all the items that go into making him The Master of Deportment.

Does this mean that I find Hemingway's style terse and unrevealing? Not at all. I just wish that somewhere in this mad world where people give a quarter of their brains to each of four tasks that there were still readers that would enjoy the leisure and delight of Dickens' style in a modern form.

I'm back at my desk after more than a week away, but I'm also coated in mud. Nine horses, dripping wet, needed trims this morning. The farrier arrived promptly at eight and I had a few in, but was still catching my two boarders. Neither of which likes to be caught, but they're both learning I don't give up. Even ankle deep in mud, I keep coming.

It's strange, but that's as deep as the mud goes here. Below that is clay. You can step into the mud and skid sideways, but you can't sink. Below the level of fairly good soil peeks the yellow–orange clay, and it's as slick as you'd guess. Fortunately, horses slop around and nearly fall as much as humans, so they don't run as much to stay away.

In a weird way, that's how the truth of my latest WIP feels. I've had a good coating of material on the story for a while now, but I haven't been able to identify what that bright sick yellow slick stuff is below it. I know what it is now. It's anger.

So what about the pie? Nothing much other than my horse, Sweetie Pie, is getting bigger by the day and I can't wait for her foal to be born!

I've been on a work-binge. Unfortunately, it wasn't a writing binge. I've finished a massive arbor (still need to buy some plants for it, although I'm waiting for some seeds I planted to show). I've bought, literally, a house full of furniture, rented a U-Haul truck for Saturday, and will drive it, without company, to PA. Then I get the joy of rounding up my old friends and their able-bodied sons and daughters to help unload it. On top of that, my kids decided today that Dad was wrong, and we needed to keep the new living room set and send the old one to PA. So we hauled in the new furniture and dragged out the old (I cleaned it first, which killed my steam cleaner).

In all my mad rushing around, I've had very little time to think, let alone do what I want. So next week I plan on having some fun with my friends in addition to cleaning and putting the house together, and tomorrow I'm going on a Quilt Shop Hop with a friend here in Texas. I should stay home and get ready so I can leave sooner, but I'm not. I'm going to be kind to myself and take a break from all this work, so I can refuel my well, which is almost bone dry.

Not to worry, my almost-dry well, it's supposed to rain practically the whole week I'll be in PA. Figures!

As I was driving home from dropping off my son, I was mulling over a problem in my latest wip. It's a static scene that takes place in a car, and I wanted more physical tension. Apparently driving and thinking at the same time triggered a good response, because I've been playing with a solution ever since. Nope. Not telling. You'll have to wait for the book.

I know, I know, I've been away about a year. But I'm going to try to be better at this journaling. Really. I am.

For instance, today I mastered the blind hem stitch on my sewing machine so I can "professionally" attach the bindings, and I figured out, with the help from YouTube, how to hide the final seam on a binding. I need to watch someone do stuff like that, so I googled what I wanted to do, and voila! There were multiple choices.

I also picked up Zulu, our latest goat from Persimmon Grove Clark Farm. She's a cutie! Black and white and feisty. She'll be joined by Leif the Lucky and Onyx in about a month, also from PCGF. I wanted to add some black to our herd, and when I saw Leif, I fell in love. He has a black eye patch, just like the buck we lost last year. Onyx is black in front and white in back, with some mixed up spots between.

As for writing: I'm less than forty pages from the end of my revision and should finish it this week. Yay!

I've loved quotes forever. I used to copy my favorites from Reader's Digest into notebooks. Not that I ever did anything with them. I'm not sure I even reread them. But they frequently inspired me in weird ways. A good quote still will. It's almost like I capture a theme for a story from a group of well-chosen words. Funny how the mind works! Now I use them as story starters.

Kids can be amazing workers given the right circumstances and motivation. Mine moved 100 forty to fifty pound bales of hay from a field two miles away to our barn in a little over an hour. They threw them onto a rented trailer, stacked them so they wouldn't spill on the ride home, then unloaded them and restacked them at our barn. We did two loads. My daughter spent some of the time fighting off the curious and greedy horses, which her older brothers didn't want to do, and I excused my youngest son when he couldn't lift anymore bales, but at the field they were awesome. I kept thinking of spiders or maybe swarms as they rushed at the piles of bales and tried to load them as fast as they could. They were on a mission! Did I mention it was 95 degrees? They're great.

This might seem totally off my usual writing topics, but I can connect this to writing. How often have you heard something like, "Kids don't do things like haying or a multitude of other old-fashioned things anymore?" from some well meaning critic. I didn't pay my kids. I did say we had to do it, and we'll do it again later this summer. The kids, however, did the work with only one minor fight before we began. Could I make an editor believe they worked so happily, though? Hmmmmm. Probably not a majority of NYC editors. I've been told, "Most kids don't know what a barn smells like," or "Homecoming isn't a big thing anymore." I want to say, "Come visit the rest of the country. Please." Because a lot of our readers live in the vast space between our coasts, and a lot of them do know what barns smell like. Sure, maybe only a few know it's better to be sweating in long sleeves when stacking hay bales than have your arms riddled with scratches from needle sharp hay, but some do. As for the rest? They might like to learn about it, given the right story.

As for our horses? They gobbled the loose hay until we arrived with the second load and I released the herd's lead mare. She didn't want to stand in the sun chewing drying grass. She wanted the fresh grass under the trees in the pasture. She led, the rest followed. The grass is always greener . . .

It's been quite a while since I last wrote, but I have a very good explanation for that. I cut out all my procrastination techniques (well, not all, but most of them and the ones I kept I do after my writing for the day), and I made myself write before I did anything but the necessities of keeping my family on track. Where did my new found energy come from? Kindling Words West, of course.

I spent a marvelous week in the company of 37 writers and illustrators in the mountains and mesas of New Mexico admiring the scenery, taking walks with and without friends, and thinking. And writing of course. I roomed next to Tim Wynne Jones and he also took the time to do a lot of work. He was drafting a new novel, while I was revising. I kept thinking it unfair that there's no phrase to describe the amount of work accomplished for revision like the phrase, "I wrote ten pages today." I did cut a lot of crap from the book and refocused my energy and the characters. I feel I got a great handle on the book at last.

Amazingly, the energy from my week has carried through to my home. I've nearly completed a quilt I was working on there. I need to finish making the label and the four beaded loops for hanging it. I'll post a picture when it's done. I've made significant progress on the wedding quilt for a good friend and designed the quilt for the blocks I've been happily making. Might be wise to do the project the other way around, but who says you have to be linear?

And I've written nearly everyday. Today is the first day I truly indulged myself with non-family distractions. I washed three of our seven horses and I'm posting here. Then I'm writing until dinner or later if my family doesn't get too restless.

Also, check out my biggest distraction, born June 1, at 5:10 in the morning. My youngest son and I saw his entire birth, and my daughter and husband got there just as he arrived in the world. Isn't he adorable? His registered name will be Smoken Dragon King and we've dubbed him Trouble for his barn name. Today he lived up to it. He discovered bucking and kicking. Watch out for those little hooves!

I am anxiously awaiting Saturday and taking off for KW West. I wrote out my packing list today and started on my to-do before going list. How I wish I didn't have to worry about the whole family and what they're eating and wearing while I'm gone, but I do. Of course, once I'm on my way, I won't worry anymore, it's just the pre-leaving preparations that are so exhausting. It'll be great to be with other writers and illustrators too, and I've got a date with my WIP. It will be hammered while I'm there.

See, I've set this goal. I want this manuscript to be at my agent's by the end of May, so I can move on. There. I've said it in public, so it's now a deadline. I've made quite a bit of progress on it lately, and I feel more confident in it, so here's hoping that what I've done is good enough.

Also here's to a week of work with no laundry, cooking, errands, barn chores (but I'll miss riding), yard work, taxi service for kids, social planning for family, and all the other things that being a "mom" means. Oh, and I get to come home to Mother's Day! They'll have a week to plan. Wander what they'll do?

I spent the last few evenings in wonderful company, that of Nancy Werlin and her wonderful new novel, Impossible. I snagged an ARC at he Texas Librarian's Association meeting, and I'm glad I did. Impossible's quite different than Nancy's other books, but it's just as well written. I was drawn into the book immediately, and I loved the characters, especially Lucy and Zach. I don't want to reveal any spoilers here. I simply wanted to let you all know that when the book hits the bookstore and library shelves, read it! Congrats on a job well done, Nancy. Your mother should be proud of "her" book.

What fun this week has been. I attended the Texas Librarians' Association Meeting in Dallas, and I loved it. Tons of people scoping out the new books, all those nifty products for displaying books, magazines, and newspapers, and best of all, thousands of readers. I loved it. I worked for a couple of hours at the SCBWI booth on Wednesday and buzzed through part of the Exhibits. I was somewhat stumped by my family schedule which meant I couldn't just take off for the whole three days, but that's life. I did go back on Friday morning for a fast visit before the hall closed. I caught Gene Luen Yang's talk on graphic novels, and even snagged a personally signed copy when I bumped into him at his publisher's booth. I also went to the 25th celebration of Hank the Cow Dog's series of books. It was lots of fun, and I loved hearing John Erickson singing some of Hank's songs.

Best of all, I got to catch up with Cinda Chima and she gave me an ARC of her newest book, Dragon Heir. More on that later, when I've had a chance to read it. My son also put it on his list of reading material. The cover's beautiful, btw.

An added bonus: I can't wait to get back to my novel so I can get it out to my readers ASAP. Nothing like a couple of librarians asking what you're working on and when it will be out to inspire you!

So, I spent the morning working on my class, which is technically writing, is it not? Then I brought in my babies, i.e., my horses, before they got sunburned. White faces, noses, and spots are great, but there's pink skin underneath, and boy does it burn down here in Texas. I also had to catch Rebel, which is turning out to be a good name for the little %*!#, as he keeps breaking and/or removing his halter and lead. It wouldn't be so bad if the little bugger actually let you walk up to him consistently, but have you tried to catch a yearling Arabian horse who has no desire to be caught? They run, fast.

That left the afternoon. More class stuff, then, bliss. An hour to work on my book before I had to leave, and what do I end up doing? Talking to Verizon trying to straighten out an internet issue for me and my son. We've been sharing a wireless card since our airport broke (ask the kids, I wasn't home) and this guy in NY suggested a solution that isn't even possible, which I found out when I had the second modem in my hands and tried to activate it. I barely made it to class on time and I still haven't solved our internet issue. Maybe I'll have to go back to Mac and the airport.

Needless to say, I didn't write today. Yet I did writing stuff. Same place, lots of work later. Maybe I'm Alice after all.

I almost wrote "New Goad" instead of "New Goal." In a way, it would fit as well since I've decided to work on short stories in addition to my novels as of last night. I started an idea file both on the computer and in hard copy, and last night, I typed up the rough draft of a story I wrote during my class Tuesday night. I always write along with my students. Sometimes I end up with pretty good beginnings of something but I've never done anything with them. Sometimes, like Tuesday night, I write a complete, if rough, story. So why not develop them and then try to sell them? I don't know. Maybe I was lazy. Maybe it wasn't YA, so I thought I shouldn't. But hey! Writing is writing, and who knows? I may sell a few. Gotta try.

I've been struggling with my current WIP since my move, but my life has been too full of craziness to allow me the space and energy to let the book grow. Then yesterday I was working on a presentation on characterization for a class I'm teaching and I realized what was missing from my WIP. Not only that, but I figured out how to fix it. Just like that. And I was still reading about characterization and taking notes for my class. Guess I need to free up that subconscious mind a bit more often! Now to find the time to implement the changes!

In case you were wondering what I was reading that provoked my brain storm, it was some articles by Lee Masterson I'd found years ago on the web and saved for my reference. They must have inspired me when I decided to save them. I know they did this time around. I liked the one on the eight basic character types the best if you go looking for it.

I've been researching on the internet, which can mean that I'm surfing the web or browsing eBay for buys on my favorite stuff, but I really was working. And it was fun. My class Tuesday is on inspiration and research, and I wanted to show how easy it is to come up with ideas in everyday situations, like reading the newspaper. Of course, my husband read the newspaper at a store instead of buying it today (didn't the magazine police come out of the racks and yell at him?), so I resorted to web browsing.

In the process I stumbled on the mother lode of weird stuff, and I only talked one site on weird news. I also didn't go to more than a third of the posted archives, but I still found twelve pages of story starters for my students. Humans are the oddest critters. If I weren't supposed to be finishing my WIP, I'd co-opt a few of those articles and get moving on a new story!

Best thing about today, though, was that I finally braved riding my mare again after two and a half months of sore hands. She was cooperative, although a bit frisky, but no big bad things happened so I guess I can keep riding. Except that blasted Western saddle weighs so much! I had to apologize to Sweetie for conking her on the back with the stirrup when I tried to heft it up there. Two and a half months sure does turn arms into flab!

I'm off to input the corrections I did earlier to my paper draft.

I spent the day in the company of teen-aged girls trolling the mall for bargains and things that otherwise can't be lived without, and in the process did some of my usual spying on life. In other words, I eavesdropped and watched people going about their business in the hopes of gleaning some interesting tidbit, scene, or dialog to use in the future. The most interesting, and definitely risque thing, was when a couple took over a dressing room next to mine so that she could try on prom dresses. I think they thought the dressing rooms were empty not having spotted my stocking-clad feet under the door. They blabbed on and on despite my sniffs and hanger rattling to let them know they weren't alone. When they finished, they marched out in front of a group of women who'd come in further down the aisle of stalls. I knew they were leaving by the embarrassed chorus of "hombre!" coming from the Spanish-speaking women.

I'm not sure where this scene will go or if it will ever be used by me, but I claim it, so don't go stealing it! It'll never appear as it actually happened anyway, but this is a perfect example of one of the best writing tips around. Study, ie spy on, your fellow citizens. You'll never run out of ideas if you do.

BIC. Makes me think of that Michael Jackson song, PYT, Pretty Young Thing. Sort of rhymes with it, but unfortunately, it doesn't have the same upbeat connotation for me right now. I've had my butt in a chair all right, but it was the car's driver seat and it was for 23 hours of cross-country road tripping. And I was the only driver, thanks to the rental car company that wouldn't let my son, even with his permit in hand, spell me behind the wheel. So what's worse? A tired, grumpy driver with a license or a teen with a permit? Don't answer.

But I'm home now. I've cleaned up most of the pet related disasters and I'm largely unpacked. I've refilled the frig so everyone can stop bugging me that there's nothing to eat, and I've planted my BIC. Is your butt in your chair? If so, are you writing or internet cruising? Never mind. You're reading this, so I don't need an answer. Then again, I'm writing this, so you know I'm procrastinating, too. But I'm off to my WIP, which I missed. More on that later.

I had a wonderful time this past weekend at the Writing Down the Brazos conference here in Granbury, TX. We had a marvelous agent, Jennie Dunham, come and speak. We also had several editors speak, including Erin Garrow from Boyds Mills and Paula Murphy from Boys' Life Magazine. We talked and exchanged news with many wonderful participants, and I felt that they came away with lots of good information to help them in their writing careers.

Oddly, though, I feel as inspired as if I'd been a participant at the conference instead of a speaker. I love meeting other writers and sharing my passion with them. It's amazing how so many writers, agents, and editors are willing to help each other fulfill their dreams. I especially enjoyed this conference because we tried to focus on craft, something all writers work at and need to learn before they can succeed.

I came home with new work resolutions and have held to them. Hope everyone who attended was equally inspired!

So, I read this really good book last night. Kept me up way past my bedtime when I was supposed to be preparing for a conference, but it was worth it. It's a lot of fun, and I happen to know the author, which isn't why I'm saying all this. It's because it's a great book for kids and I'm hoping it does really well. BTW, I met the agent who sold it today and she's as excited as the author who wrote it! Way to go Jody! Don't blush, you deserve it. Check it out! It's the Gollywhopper Games by Jody Feldman.

I went tonight to the Ft Worth/Dallas Regional Science Fair Awards with my youngest son to see if he won anything. He learned some valuable lessons about doing your best and that sometimes, you can't win everything. His visions of going on to State's crushed, he managed to teach me a lesson: don't give up. As we walked out of the building lugging his massive, school-bought board and box of medieval, scale-model weaponry, he began to plan what he would do next year.

And so it goes with writing. Even as we're in the middle of one book, another beckons. We've barely completed the first round of revisions, and we're longing to be done and working on another project. We still need to balance that with doing our best, though.

Two lessons in one night, although mine may have been more reminder than lesson. In order to succeed in this business, writers, like twelve year olds, need to retain the persistence and hope that next year or our next book will garner better reviews, more awards, larger sales.

So we begin again.

That is, both my hands are sore and protesting since my second carpal tunnel surgery this year. My left went under the knife on Feb. 2 and I lost the pseudo cast on Valentine's Day. Nice present. I got to see the bruises running half way up my arm and try to keep the not-so healed incision from breaking open. Needless to say, I haven't been doing much typing.

So I went eBaying. I sold a bunch of fabric, a spare Harry Potter, and a dress form. Now I have a balance at Paypal I don't know how to transfer into my account. The world's largest rummage sale all teched out.

In addition to missing my writing, I also miss my horses. I think they miss me too. Or maybe they just miss their grooming, which is like an all over body massage and scratching. They love it. Their lower lips get all big and blubbery, and they stick them out like a baboon that's pouting, except that's how horses look when they're relaxed.

I have kept busy though. I've been helping plan Writing Down the Brazos, a writing conference in my new home town, and I've been working on a mailing to introduce myself to Texan High School Librarians. I sent the first batch two days ago, then cradled my hands for the rest of the day. But good news! I heard from a librarian today about a school visit next year. Beat that Pennsylvania! Texas rocks!

Since horses are a big part of my life, I thought I'd post some pictures of them. Here's a taste of life on our new "ranch."


And here's a picture of me on my baby, Sweetie Pie. I posted some other pictures to my scrapbook. Have a look!