Back in April, I started the first of a series of posts about breaking into publishing (read HERE if you haven't check that one out yet).

NOTE: Some of what I write in these blog posts will be a bit overgeneralized and your own mileage may vary. These posts are meant to be informative and suggestive, not declarative, and hopefully may help you wade your way into the traditional/digital publishing industry. Each person's path will be unique, of course, but this is how I started as a writer.

So, part 1 was all about research. Once you figure out WHAT you're going to write, guess what--it's time to write. lol. This is the core of our work...if you don't have a story done, you don't have anything to send out to agents/editors.

I should note here that I HIGHLY recommend new writers complete and edit their novel first before approaching editors and agents. I know you're excited when you get the story started, but I can tell you from personal experience that starting a story doesn't always mean you're going to finish it. You don't want to get an agent/editor excited and then not have it ready.

In short, write the book first! Edit it, THEN start querying.

First things first, though--you need an idea. If you haven't already come up with one, now's the time to do it. Look within your genre to see if there are any tropes you're most drawn to (e.g., in romance there are friends-to-lovers, the guy next door, etc). Read newspapers for real-life stories that might inspire. Mash together two strange ideas and see what can come of it. Play around. Have fun with it! And make sure it's something you want to write, because you're likely going to be investing months of your time with this idea.

I have a trusted group of friends I rely upon for brainstorming help. I pitch ideas with them, share thoughts, ask questions. I met them through a local writing group. In my first post, I recommended checking out writing forums--you can meet a lot of awesome people there who will help you out and whom you can help!

After I have my initial idea for a book, I do this very nerdy plotting process to come up with the outline for the whole story. Some people are pantsers. I find I can't do that because I get too frozen up if I don't know where I'm going. If you're interested in taking my plotting workshop, make sure to check back in the future--I offer it every few months. You can also look online to find various methods for plotting. I highly recommend snagging a copy of Deb Dixon's Goal, Motivation and Conflict--this book changed the way I write. :D It's WELL worth the $. Also, Michael Hague has faboo articles on plotting...his stuff is typically aimed at screenwriter, but they can be used for novels too.

When you finish that outline, it's time to write! What you need to do now is figure out how much you can write, how often you want to write, etc. As for me--I can typically do 3-6 pages in an hour, depending on how the words flow. I write 1-2 hours a day, 5 days a week. Doing this, I know exactly how long it's going to take me to finish my novel and can plan ahead for it in my schedule.

I've made sacrifices to accommodate for writing time. I cut out most TV shows when I'm in drafting mode. This is the point when you have to decide how badly you want it. What are you willing to give up to get a book done? Even 1 page a day will get you a novel within 1 year. Steady progress is key.

So, carve out your writing time. Figure out what works best for you through trial and error--are you a morning writer? Afternoon? Evening? Night, when everyone else is asleep? Do you like writing in one big chunk, or finding a few minutes here and there? Do you write every

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Earlier this month I decided to publish two adult romance short stories. The cover was finalized yesterday, and of course I had to show you guys, lol. So without further ado, here's the cover for the short story bundle, plus blurbs about the stories!

"Baring It All": Joanna made an unbreakable bargain with her roommate Lil: to bring a date to Lil's relative's wedding. But time's running out, and there's only one prospect in sight--her super-sexy new neighbor. Now, Joanna has to get over the mortification of tearing her shorts while climbing over his fence and take a chance on love.

"Greek God": Karen, a single woman on the verge of becoming a cat lady, wakes up in a strange bed completely naked...and no idea how she got there. Even more baffling, there's a very sexy and strange guy beside her claiming he's a Greek god. Could it be true? If these two are going to make it work, they must get past their hang-ups and take each other for who they really are.

So, what do you think? I loooooove this cover!! <3

Falling For You will release at the end of June. Stay tuned!

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Rippling capes. Sexy masks. Moves like Jagger. When I think of Superheroes, I think of all those things. Well, and spandex too, of course, but we won't go there. *shudder*

Anywho, I'm excited to let you guys know that my adult superhero romantic comedy, SUPER ZERO, is now freeeeeee to everyone for a limited time (and will remain free for Amazon Prime members until July 25, 2012, woohoo). You have until Friday night, May 4 2012 to download your own copy of SUPER ZERO on your Kindle (or, download the free Kindle app for your computer, iPad, phone, etc. HERE).

Here's the cover copy:

Working for superheroes isn't all it's cracked up to be... 

When Jenna's superhero boss The Machine gives her the opportunity to safeguard the changing crystal (a jewel that grants, changes or removes superpowers), she jumps at the chance, eager to do this so-called "cake" job and earn street fred with the Midwest League of Superheroes. To help her mission, the League assigns her a partner, the mysterious and super-sexy Vigilante. Too bad he's also super-grouchy--what a tragic waste of hotness. 

Soon, Jenna learns the threat to the changing crystal is all too real, and her list of trustworthy people grows shorter by the minute. But when she discovers something even more sinister afoot, involving Vigilante's sexy arch nemesis Dementrix, it'll take all her skills to keep the mad villainess from executing her plan to unmask and decommission the world's superheroes...especially when Jenna accidentally becomes one herself.

So, hop on the cool train and give my book a try--all the kids are doing it! And please, share this news about SUPER ZERO being free on Amazon through May 4, 2012!

Thanks, and happy reading!

Oh! And if you get a chance, check out the hilarious SUPER ZERO "cattification" by Jody Wallace, on her meankitty blog HERE.

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Hello, all! So, I'm once again offering my workshop PLOT: It's Not Just a Four-Letter Word for the month of June. Here are the details!

Plotting--amazing how this one word can strike fear or even hatred in the hearts of writers. Writing is supposed to be creative, right?

Well, the problem is that many writers have no idea how to go about making a novel happen. How do you know your idea is big enough for a full novel? How do you make sure you won't be stuck with a saggy middle? What's a good way to weave subplots appropriately in a story and give them a meaningful connection with the main plot?

I'm offering my month-long online workshop designed to teach you how to craft a full plot for a novel, including character depth/development, plot twists, the dark moment/climax, and a satisfactory ending. We'll use Debra Dixon's principles in her book Goal, Motivation, and Conflict as a reference for the workshop (it's recommended, though not required, that you purchase this book before the workshop in case you need further study on the topic--find it HERE), as well as various unique tips and tricks I employ in my own writing.

This intense, hands-on workshop

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As an editor and a novelist, I get asked by people all the time about my jobs. Doctors, financial planners, car salesmen and the like are curious about the lifestyle of The Novelist. For many, writing looks like an elusive, exotic career. They think we stay up all hours of the night, puffing away at cigarettes, drinking a snifter of brandy and mumbling under our breaths as we move ink-stained fingers across reams of paper.

Well, I for one only do that on Tuesday nights, thankyouverymuch. ;-)

The biggest question I get is how I got published (and also how much money I make, which is a whole Pandora's box in itself--but I digress, lol).

I remember being uber-green back in the day (around 2004), having that wisp of an idea hit me that I wanted to write a book. It's easy now for me to look at where I am, after years of being in publishing as an author and editor, and feel like I understand how the industry works. But when you start brand-new, you want to know how to break in.

You want to write a novel. You want to see it published.

If I had a dollar for each time someone asked me how to get a book published, I wouldn't have to work. Actually, that would be rad--can someone get that set up for me? Awesome, thaaaaanks. Anyway, some people ask because they're curious in general. They just want to know how the publishing industry works.

But some...some have a book that's been burning inside them for a long time. And they really want to know. How does one even start trying to understand the monumental task of writing a book, much less finding an agent and/or publisher?

In that vein, I've decided to do a series of posts outlining the whole process, plus tips/tricks about breaking into publishing with a traditional/digital publisher (assuming, of course, your story is well-crafted and commercial enough to gain you an agent and/or editor). Obviously I can't make any guarantees or promises, and this will be based off my own experiences, as well as some of my friends'. But if you're curious about how publishing works and/or you're dying to start that book, this might help.

Or if you're an author who gets this question all the time, maybe you can point people here. haha

If you decide you want to self-publish, that's a whole other series of posts. But some of these steps are the same, with the exception of actually submitting to agents/editors. Instead, you'll be acting as your own publisher. There's lots of great info on the interweb about self-publishing, so crack your knuckles and practice that Google Fu if you're interested in it! :D

Let me restate again that some of what I write in these blog posts will be a bit overgeneralized and that your own mileage may vary. These posts are meant to be informative and suggestive, not declarative, and hopefully may help you wade your way into the traditional/digital publishing industry. Each person's path will be unique, of course, but this is how I started as a writer.

So, without further ado, let's start with part 1: research.

You want to write a book. AWESOME. Now what the hell do you do?

First, you have some decisions to make. Is this fiction? Nonfiction? (If it's nonfiction, these posts may not all apply to you. My expertise is in fiction. But some of the process may be the same.). Let's assume you've decided you want to write a novel (and btw, it's just "novel"--not fiction novel...novels are fiction by nature). Here are some questions you should answer before you even start your research (hint: if you're not sure what you want to write, look at what you're reading. What books do you gobble up? What do you feel drawn to?). And if you already have a story/plot idea or a character in mind, where do you think it might fit?

1--what age group interests you? Do you want to write for little kids? Middle-schoolers? Young adu

1 Comments on Breaking Into Publishing, Part 1--Research!, last added: 4/12/2012

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Unknown said, on 4/11/2012 4:58:00 PM

I hate when people ask me how much I got paid. I mean, no one asks my DH how much he makes. What's the deal with that?

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I hardly EVER do memes, but this one looks fun (plus, I was tagged by superstar Bookalicious Pam, so I kinda had to, lol. :D

Anyway, here are the rules:

Go to page 7 or 77 in your current manuscript
Go to line 7
Copy down the next seven lines/sentences as they are--no cheating
Tag 7 other authors

And now, without further ado, here's the excerpt from THIRST, my most current WIP (work in progress). This story is set in the desert:

“I’ll find out what’s going on and let you know. Don’t worry about it. It’ll be okay.” With that, she leaves.
I remain inside the tent for a moment, gathering my strength. Then I head out, back into the rapidly cooling evening air. Scattered echoes of laughter and murmured talking reach me as I head toward the fire, already flickering brightly. Nighttime on the grounds is my favorite—the air is cooler and the tribe spends our awake time singing and laughing, huddled around small fires.

And now I'm supposed to tag 7 people. So, uh, here we go, lol:

Gwen Hayes
Lara Zielin
Christine Bell
Heidi Kling
David Bridger
Larry Benjamin
Steven Katriel

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Yesterday, I got back from my cruise to the Bahamas. Guys, I can't even tell you how much fun it was. So I'll show pictures and let them speak for me (with a little commentary of course--we know I can't NOT talk, lol):

Our boat--the Carnival Pride. It was pretty dang big...I think we had around 2100 vacationers, plus over 900 crew members. There was a casino, tons of food, bars everywhere, etc. Random note: I saw a lot of back hair last week. Good times, good times. On a more positive note, I didn't get seasick.


The first sunset from the top of the boat. It was amazing. I couldn't get over the view of the endless ocean. We even saw dolphins swimming beside the boat one day!


My first drink on the boat--a Mai Tai. It was also amazing. Holy wah, the drinks were expensive, btw. Anywhere from $6 to $15. Yoinks. Still, it didn't stop me from sampling some. ;-)


So, we sailed a couple of days and landed in Cape Canaveral, FL on Wednesday. We went to Cocoa Beach and chilled for a bit. The ocean was COLD, dude. But we sucked it up and went in. And I'm glad we did--it was fun. Here's a shot of my kids, trying not to freeze their bits off in the water.


And me! This white hat was my best friend all week. It helped me not burn my pasty white skin. Though I did get some sunshine and a bit of a tan over the vacay.


On Thursday, we went to Nassau, Bahamas. It was the most amazing day ever. My daughter and I went parasailing, and I didn't crap my pants in the air, so that was good for us and the dudes driving the boat. The view from the sky was surreal--the water and small islands were breathtaking. The water was the most clear blue/green I've ever seen. It almost looked like Jell-O. I can't figure out how else to describe it. Just...amazing. Also, I saw Eddie Murphy's party island, which was crazy, as well as Chuck Norris's vacay house. Alas, I spotted no celebrities though.

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I was trying to think of a blog post for today and realized I wanted to write about the craft of writing. But instead of just focusing on one aspect, I wanted to share 10 of the best writing tips I've gotten over the last several years. I hope these can help you (and please, feel free to post your own tips in the comments--I'm sure there are a bunch more that could be added to the list).

1--Every character is the hero of his/her own story. This one has been key to helping me remember that all characters should be multifaceted, even the "villains." That rude jerk in school has her own history, her own flaws and fears and vulnerabilities. The things that make her cry when she's all alone. When you can make your reader feel a variety of emotions about your bad guy, including even small flashes of empathy, you know that character is fleshed out. Nothing sucks more than 2D villains who say, "Mwahahahaaaa..." and twirl their sinister mustaches while delivering flat, cheesy dialogue. Please, make your villains compelling!

2--GMC. Goal, motivation, conflict. What does your character want? Why? What keeps your character from getting it? Three simple questions, but it has drastically impacted the quality of my writing. It keeps my plot focused and my pacing tight. It develops my characterization. In short, it's completely changed the way I write. Check out Deb Dixon's book called Goal, Motivation and Conflict. You won't be sorry!

3--Use all 5 senses. Sensory detail enriches your story in a way that brings it to life. In scenes that are high sexual/romantic tension, bring in all 5 senses. In other scenes, make sure you bring in at least 2, if not more. Of course, quality is key here. Be original, but not so over-the-top that you veer into purple prose or overwriting.

4--Pacing matters. This one I've learned a lot about while editing with Carina Press. Most pacing problems I see are slow pacing, with scenes that don't move the story forward at a satisfying speed. This will kill your story--you will quickly lose the reader's interest if you dump too much unneeded info in, especially at the beginning. If your paragraph or even a scene doesn't illuminate new/important information about your character, or advance the plot in a meaningful way, consider cutting/trimming it. Filler is bad, yo.

5--Be ruthless on your manuscript. Your story is not sacred. It's not a baby. After you draft, you have to be willing to make it as strong as it can be. Cut those passages that may be beautiful but unneeded. Tough love, guys...it hurts, but it works. I promise.

6--No effort is wasted. Yeah, you may realize after drafting your novel that it suuuuuuuuuucks. lol. Guess what--that's ok. It taught you how to write. It taught you how to hone your craft. That effort wasn't for vain, and it will help make your next story all the stronger.

7--Not every idea is good/worth developing. If you're anything like me, you have a billion story ideas. It's fun generating new ones. But the hard part is to hone in on the one that's going to be the most compelling, the strongest concept.

8--I'm not a writer, I'm a rewriter. I learned this in grad school and it's stuck with me since. It gives me permission to puke out a crappy first draft...and if any of you are like me, with strong internal editors, this is much-needed permission. As I draft, I know I'm going to rework it. It will go through heavy revisions. And that's okay. So I can focus on spitting out the story, developing character, etc. Later, I'll go through with a hatchet. Then a scalpel. Then tweezers. I'll gradually work my way down to the story I want to tell.

9--Your final story may never be what you think it should be. This is a lesson I continue to struggle with. I get great ideas...but sometimes the execution isn't

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Today I went shopping with two of my friends. Our goal--to pick up accessories for our bellydancing costumes. We went to a local mall.

The store where we got our stuff had this fascinating little...costume? in the window:

Now, I have to wonder...A) would anyone REALLY wear this? and B) WHY? FOR THE LOVE OF BABY JESUS, WHY? There's no crotch coverage. This looks like the most uncomfortable, trampalicious thing I've ever seen.

Anywho, after laughing heartily about that hideousness, we stopped in another store and bought bindis. And then, I saw it.

A unicorn touch lamp.

It's pretty much the most awesome thing I've ever gotten, and a complete steal at $20.

For those of you who don't know, I have a bit of a...thing about unicorns. I have since I was a kid. As an adult though, it's totally creepy admitting that out loud, which is why I don't normally purchase items with unicorns on them. But when I saw the lamp, I knew it had to be mine.

Here it is, in all its post-assembled, crazypants glory:


And a close-up of the unicorns, which GLITTER WHEN LIT UP, YOU GUYS:


I'm trying to figure out THE perfect place for this lamp. My initial thought was on my desk, but it's all the way in the basement and people won't be able to see it there.

All in all, an awesome shopping day.

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One of the weird things I do (out of, like, 400 billion weird things) is take pics of signs I find as I go oot and aboot in my daily life. Here are some of my favs:

This one's on the side of my husband's leaf blower. I like how they show you the mangled finger. Good warning, yo.



What makes me laugh about this sign in a nearby town is that right behind these signs is a lake. The sign on the top right isn't giving the best advice...



If I remember right, this one's from a Panera bathroom. It looks like the baby's going to kick her mom's armpits. Poor mom--ungrateful baby!



This one was in the waiting room of a car repair joint. I like how it shows you not only is the liquid bad for black bars, it will DESTROY YOUR THUMB.



This one was in the Walmart parking lot. Everyone I know loves a good Speed Hump. hahaha



My mom took this one in Tennessee. I like how the words weren't enough--we needed the image of the dude flying head-first off the bike, just to seal in the danger.


So, there ya go. Have fun sign-hunting!

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So, Struck (the 3-in-1 bind-up of my Stupid Cupid trilogy) released on December 6 in paperback and ebook for the amazeballs bargain price of $9.99--my little baby's all grown up and out there in the world for everyone to read. *sniffle*

I had so much fun writing this trilogy. It was a lot of hard work getting here, but I'm so, so glad I pushed myself to keep at it, through all the rough spots. There's nothing quite as humbling as seeing your book on the bookshelves--it never, ever gets old. I'm eternally grateful Simon Pulse took a chance on Felicity and her matchmaking shenanigans. (And I looooooove this cover!!)

My hands-down favorite scene in the first book of the trilogy was when Felicity walked in on her parents...uh...let's say, getting intimate. She'd decided a great anniversary present for them would be to give the gift of love, so she matchmade them--not realizing they'd be all over each other like white on rice. I giggled SO HARD when writing it, imagining how horrified I'd be if I caught my parents like that--uh, no offense, Mom and Dad.

Apparently, Ryan Gosling liked that scene as well--read what he had to say about it in the always-hilarious "Hey, Girl" meme: http://bit.ly/uxFos0

Struck is available in print at Barnes and Noble in the US, and Chapters in Canada. It's possibly at some independent bookstores too...if you spot it at an indie store, please let me know! And, of course, it's available online--here's where you can find it:

Amazon
Barnes and Noble
Indiebound
Books-a-Million

Just in case you're interested, here's the blurb for Struck:

Felicity Walker believes in true love. That’s why she applies for a gig at the matchmaking company Cupid’s Hollow. But when Felicity gets the job, she learns that she isn’t just a matchmaker...she’s a cupid! (There’s more than one of them, you know.) Armed with a hot pink, tricked-out PDA infused with the latest in cupid magic (love arrows shot through email), Felicity works to meet her quota of successful matches. But the path to love is not always a straight shot....

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So, I'm pretty much bouncing around the house like a kid on crack because I got two advanced copies of my December 6 release, STRUCK (which is my three-in-one bindup of STUPID CUPID, FLIRTING WITH DISASTER, and PUCKER UP). Naturally, I want to pet them all day...and after I'm done first-basing the book, give one away to you guys. Haha, I keed--I'll leave it to you to get to know my book, biblically or otherwise.

Interested in entering to win a signed copy of this book? It's super easy. All you need to do is leave a comment on this post answering the following: How do you feel about matchmaking--online, in person or by other means? Have you or anyone you've known found a significant other this way?

You can also earn an extra entry per pimpage (e.g., 1 for Twitter, 1 for Facebook, etc). In your entry reply, let me know where you shared it. Also, make sure to leave a way for me to reach you if you're the winner. You can post your email address or send it to me directly if you don't want it online (rhonda at rhondaedits dot com).

Contest starts today and runs through Sunday, November 27, 11:59 pm EST. Open only to residents of U.S. or Canada (sorry, shipping is craaaazy expensive otherwise). I'll randomly choose 1 winner from all viable entries.

Thanks, and good luck!

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Interested in purchasing my books? Here's where you can find them:

(STRUCK is the 3-book volume of the Stupid Cupid trilogy)

Felicity Walker believes in true love. That's why she applies for a gig at the matchmaking company Cupid's Hollow. But when Felicity gets the job, she learns that she isn't just a matchmaker...she's a cupid! (There's more than one of them, you know.)

Armed with a hot pink, tricked-out PDA infused with the latest in cupid magic (love arrows shot through email), Felicity works to meet her quota of successful matches. But the path to love is not always a straight shot...

Amazon
Barnes and Noble
Indiebound
Books-a-Million


(STUPID CUPID is book 1 in the trilogy)

Felicity Walker believes in true love. That's why she applies for a gig at the matchmaking company Cupid's Hollow. But when Felicity gets the job, she learns that she isn't just a matchmaker...she's a cupid! (There's more than one of them, you know.)

Armed with a hot pink, tricked-out PDA infused with the latest in cupid magic (love arrows shot through email), Felicity works to meet her quota of successful matches. But when she bends the rules of cupidity by matching her best friend Maya with three different boys at once, disaster strikes. Felicity needs to come up with a plan to set it all right, pronto, before she gets fired...and before Maya ends up with her heart split in three.

Amazon ebook
Barnes and Noble ebook
Books-a-Million ebook


(FLIRTING WITH DISASTER is book 2 in the trilogy)

Felicity is a total romantic. That's why she follows her heart—not the rules—in her job as a cupid. But when Felicity turns her matchmaking magic on her best friend, Andy, it's Andy who breaks their golden rule: friends always come first. Andy is so wrapped up in her new guy that she's ditching everyone else. How can Felicity stop her BFF from letting a BF come between them?

Meanwhile, Felicity decides to get over her crush on Derek by setting him up with someone else—but in her impulsive haste, she accidentally matches him with the whole school, and now everyone is in love

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So, I had to send a couple of rejections to authors whose manuscripts weren't quite right for Carina for various reasons. One author was amazingly gracious about it and I wouldn't hesitate to read future submissions from her. The other well, mentioned our name in a blog post and made snippy comments about us passing on the story. What's funny is, the ONLY reason that latter manuscript was rejected was because we aren't publishing that genre anymore. No commentary at all on the quality of the writing (which was amazing and totally moved me). Just a matter of the publisher changing scope.

Things like this happen ALL. THE. TIME. And it sucks--oh GOD, do I know how much it sucks. A couple of years ago I'd written a proposal for the Simon Pulse romantic comedy line. They loved it (naturally, because it was utterly brilliant, haha)...except they decided to put that line on hold and not publish anything for a while. So my proposal was rejected.

No fault of mine. No commentary on my writing. I nursed my wounds for a day or two, ate copious amounts of chocolate and moved on to the next idea.

It happens to all of us. ALL of us. I know a number of authors, myself included, who have been rejected post-publication. And from our own publishers, even.

Rejection isn't just the badge of the unpublished.

There are a number of reasons why manuscripts get rejected when being considering for acquisition:

--your manuscript is good, but needs too much work. This one's a judgment call the editor has to make. How much editing time do we put into helping the author craft this story into what it needs to be? Do we even HAVE that time to spare? Is this something we'll run into with every manuscript by this author, where it needs to be heavily massaged into salable condition? 

--your manuscript isn't marketable. Editors can love a manuscript--LOVE--but not be able to acquire it. Publishing is a business. Yes, we want to share with the world all those manuscripts we fall for, but we need to know they're going to sell too. A lot of money gets spent on editorial, covers, marketing, etc. Manuscripts that are a little too niche (like superheroes *sob*), that don't have a strong hook, that are in a sluggish genre can get rejected. 

--not everyone in the acquisitions team meeting loves the manuscript. The editor obviously loves it, but that doesn't mean everyone else will. In this case, it's hard for the editor not to feel like he/she's been rejected too. I've been there. It sucks. *reaches for candy bar* 

--marketing issues regarding the author. For example, the author has no website/facebook/twitter/blog, no notable desire to self-promote, etc (and NO, this won't make or break an acquisition, but it is a factor, let's be honest). Or another example: the author wants to write too many various genres with us, so we can't market that person effectively. Do we "brand" you as an urban fantasy author if your first novel is urban fantasy but your follow-up is historical, and your third is erotic romance? 

There are other reasons, of course. But note that none of the reasons above said you suck. Or that we hate you. Or that you should quit writing and go drink cheap vodka in the back of a van and spend the rest of your days making tacos or hemming pants or whatever.

When you're publicly rude about rejection, you're possibly making that editor feel like he/she just dodged a bullet with you and maaaaaaybe it was better t

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Last night marks a blessed event in my household. After days of wandering around in my pajamas, mumbling incoherently to myself, ignoring the kids and husband and dogs, living off anything I could whip up from a box because I was IN THE WRITER ZONE and totally didn't have time for menial tasks like brushing my hair or anything, I finished my YA demon novel, BREATHE.

I FINISHED IT.

Holy crap on a cracker, this is a magical moment, you guys. I wrote what I wanted. Not under contract. No stresses about the market or what will sell. Not trying to please anyone else. Just decadent, glorious writing. I forgot how amazing that feels. This is why we write--just falling in love with crafting words and worlds again, creating characters who grow and change along their journey.

I found my voice. I let myself slide under my heroine Cora's skin. Swooned over her relationship with Dominic. Entrenched myself in the exotic New Orleans, where I set the novel.

Saying "the end" to Cora and Dominic is a little hard, to tell the truth--these two teens pulled me from my worst writing slump ever. They hold a special place in my heart. I'm soooo looking forward to polishing this sucka up and getting it to my agent.

Needless to say, I'm thrilled to be "back" in the saddle. And to continue the festivities, I'm going to share my first real examples of writing. See, I didn't start out as a novelist--I was a poet in high school. A really, really, REEEEEALLY horrible poet with a one-track mind: love.

Lovity love loversons--the subject of 99% of my emo-laden poetry. And lucky for you, I'm gifting one of those Shakespearean-level poems to the world today. See how I twist and turn a striking and completely non-cliched phrase, yet still cleverly play with meter and rhythm. Ooh and awe over my fierce skills in using the word "alas," composing this poem with deft "angsty teen bubble-handwriting" penmanship.

Aaaaanyway, yay! I'll keep you posted on what happens with BREATHE. Have a great weekend, and I hope you sprinkle light drops of love on each rose petal you see. *snort*

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Plotting--amazing how this one word can strike fear or even hatred in the hearts of writers. Writing is supposed to be creative, right?

Well, the problem is that many writers have no idea how to go about making a novel happen. How do you know your idea is big enough for a full novel? How do you make sure you won't be stuck with a saggy middle? What's a good way to weave subplots appropriately in a story and give them a meaningful connection with the main plot?

I'm offering a month-long workshop designed to teach you how to craft a full plot for a novel, including character depth/development, plot twists, the dark moment/climax, and a satisfactory ending. We'll use Debra Dixon's principles in her book Goal, Motivation, and Conflict as a partial basis for the workshop (it's highly recommended you purchase this book before the workshop--find it HERE), as well as various unique tips and tricks I employ in my own writing.

This intense, hands-on workshop will run from Nov 1 to 24. Here's a tentative syllabus (lessons posted twice a week on Tuesdays/Thursdays, with homework accompanying each lesson):

Week 1: Intro to Rhonda's nerdalicious plotting methodology; creating your own plan of action

Week 2: Employing effective brainstorming techniques; refining your core idea and applying GMC to enrich character development

Week 3: Turning points/building your plot in manageable chunks; tips/tricks for plotting

Week 4: Weaving in subplot; final thoughts on plotting

The course will be held via Yahoo groups. Questions and brainstorming is highly encouraged (a separate brainstorming loop will be set up just for this purpose!). For maximum benefit, it's recommended you bring at least a core of a new story idea to work with, though if you have a work in progress, you can use this workshop to enrich and deepen your current plot.

BIO: I am a multi-published author with Simon and Schuster in teen fiction. I am also an acquisitions/developmental editor with Carina Press, the e-book imprint of Harlequin Publishing. I offer numerous workshops on employing sophisticated style, voice, and practical self-editing tips. I have a Bachelor's degree in English, Creative Writing, and a Master's degree in English Literature. I've also taught college composition.

Cost for this workshop is $20. I accept paypal or check.

The registration deadline is the day before the workshop starts. Once registered, you will be subscribed to the workshop loop prior to and for the duration of the class. The workshop is held on Yahoo groups--you will be sent an invitation to join. It's important you check your spam filter so you don't miss it! No refunds if you fail to enroll yourself once you are offered the invitation.

Questions? Want to sign up? Please email me at [email protected] -- thanks! :D

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My sweetheart of a friend Danielle Joseph has a new release called Pure Red. I wanted to have her on the blog and do a little interview because she's pretty rad, and I'm super excited about this book and can't wait to read it. :D

So, here's the interview!

Danielle, this book is your third, yes? Do you think it was harder or easier to write?

It was easier because it was actually one of the first books that I wrote but I sold it third. After I sold my first two, I did a rewrite and then sold it.

Rock on! It gives us hope that books can still make it out there, even if they don't initially sell. So, if you could take any person to prom, who would it be and why?

I would take you to prom because we would be laughing the entire night! We would probably also rock the dance floor!

Oh, it's ON like diddy kong. I'm totally going to get a dress with a butt bow now. You should know I do a KILLER "sprinkler" move. haha. Okay, a seriously random Q: what's your secret favorite snack that you hide from people and pretend you totally didn't buy so they can't eat it all?

Hot Tamales are one of my favorite snacks. It's kind of silly that I hide them because I don't think anyone in my family would want to eat them.

WOW. I never would have guessed that. I tend to hide anything made of chocolate. Last Q for you: what piece of writing advice has been invaluable to you?

Write from your heart. As corny as it sounds, it works every time!

Thanks so much for being here, Danielle! And for our readers at home, here's a blurb about the book, Pure Red:

Orange is for energy, pink means love, and I, Cassia Bernard, do solemnly swear to find pure red—my passion—this summer. Dad's raison d'être is art. When he's painting, no one can reach him, not even me.

I'm giving basketball a chance. But what I really want to score this summer is the adoration of Graham Hadley—a.k.a. Cutebutt. Then when Dad agrees to mentor Graham with his art project, all of Cutebutt's attention is on Dad—leaving me feeling as colorless as the Miami sky on a rainy day. But I'm not giving up just yet.

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My sister had the funniest yet most horrific visit to the doctor today. I wanted to share what she wrote in her Facebook note (and YES, I have her permission) because I'm pretty sure I laughed and laughed and laughed until I tinkled a little. Okay, a lot. Don't judge me.

Here's what she wrote, in all of its epic glory:

"So yesterday, my eye started looking red and angry. I tried allergy medicine and eye drops but by last night it looked like the Wrath of God. This morning I still had concentrated evil coming out of my eye, plus goop, so I went to the Fast Care center at Kroger for a prescription for eye drops.

As soon as I told the lady behind the counter that I thought I had pink eye, she immediately started gearing up for combat. She ran over and got gloves and cleaning cloths and proceded to clean everything I'd already touched and everything near me that I hadn't even come in contact with.

I must have looked a bit confused because she said, "It's okay, this is to protect you and the other patients." I asked her how cleaning something after I'd already touched it would protect me, but she just gave me a look and kept scrubbing. She literally cleaned EVERYTHING I came into contact with, even though she had on gloves. To get the proper visual, picture a panicked-looking young woman wearing bright blue gloves using a cleaning cloth to take my credit card from me so she could bill me.

I get that it needed to be clean, but not right in front of me! She also washed her hands around 7 times while she was taking my vitals. Nothing like feeling like Patient X in the movie Outbreak or something; I was pretty sure that after I left she'd called the CDC and that the military will be waiting at my house with a containment barrier.

So when I finally got in there with the doctor she informed me that I do have pink eye in BOTH EYES (gah!) and would need eye drops. She said that the medicine should be pretty cheap, but that if it wasn't then she'd call in another one. That was fine--I was more worried about whether it would burn. When I asked if it would, she promptly said that it was a cheap med, but if it was too expensive she'd call in another. Huh? So I said again, "Price is fine, I just want to know if it burns." Again, she mentioned the cost. We literally had this conversation 2 more times before she finally said that it may burn because of the irritation.

But the best part was yet to come. Finally she explained how to use the eye drops. Apparently I needed to press my tear duct while my "husband or boyfriend" put the drop in my eyes, then wait 30 seconds and blink 3 times. God help me if I blinked 2 or 4 instead. Seriously. Like, the next steps were to solve the riddle of the Sphinx and bring back a phoenix egg, and only then would I get to fight the dragon and cross the underworld to speak with the wizard who could give me the magic potion to cure my eye.

The next portion of the conversation is too wonderful to paraphrase, so I'll be using quotes...

Me, a little overwhelmed: "How do I apply this myself?"

Dr. Overly Complicated Directions: "What do you mean?"

Me, getting frustrated: "I'll be doing this myself. How do I do it?"

Dr. Starting to Panic: "You don't have a husband or boyfriend"??!!??!!! (be sure to add the proper amount of shock and horror to her voice when you read this)

Me, now confused and irritated: "Uhh, no, I'm single."

Dr. Now Very Worried About My Future: "You live alone???!!!" (pity and horror this time)

Me, thoroughly pissed off: "Yeah, all alone. It's just me and all of my cats."

Dr. Smelly Fart-Face: "Ohh, well I guess you can apply it yourself. Just do 2 drops and try to rush-press your tear ducts to keep the drops from dripping through the bottom of your eye into the back of your nose." (I wish I was making this up)

Sigh, so I don't even like cats, but seriously, within the span of

6 Comments on Adventures With Pink Eye, last added: 9/5/2011

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destined said, on 9/2/2011 1:21:00 PM

Aww poor baby:-( but had me laughing out loud! My favorites part Dr. fart face lol thanks for the chuckles

3af2d490-d5a1-11e0-9919-000bcdcb471e said, on 9/2/2011 1:22:00 PM

Ha, I love that one of the labels for this is "orphans" and another is "Super AIDS". Do you pick those?

Rhonda Stapleton said, on 9/2/2011 1:23:00 PM

hahaha yeah, I picked them. They made me snort. :D

Splenda Wren said, on 9/2/2011 1:24:00 PM

Dear Rhonda's sister (Lisa),

I will totally come to your house and drop eye drops into your eyes so that you can tell Dr. Smelly Fart-Face he/she can suck it.

Sincerely,

A Former Single Lady that Lived All Alone for Many, Many Years

I Heard That said, on 9/2/2011 1:32:00 PM

so much better than any of my pink eye experiences!

Jennifer Colgan said, on 9/5/2011 3:43:00 PM

OMG! If I ever get pink eye again, I so need to go to this doctor, just for the laugh factor.

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As many of you know by now, I'm an acquisitions and developmental editor for Harlequin's e-publishing imprint Carina Press. My job is AWESOME. I get to read, read, readity read manuscripts. When I find books I love, I shamelessly beg the acquisition team to let me have 'em, and then I get to work with awesome authors and help make their books as strong and compelling as they can be.

But sometimes...sometimes, this job drives me to the drink. I'm not just talking about a gentle glass of riesling or chardonnay, either. No, sometimes I need a BIG boozy drink, like what this foxy lady is having:

So, without further ado, I present...the top 10 ways to drive an editor to drinking:

1--Send a manuscript that's insaaaaaaanely long. I'm talking 250,000-word tomes. Those make me cry. They make baby Jesus cry. They make Bobby McFarrin cry, and that dude is always happy. Cut that number in half at the VERY least (and even that's genre-specific, like epic fantasy and historicals...other genres are likely going to be a lower word count) and then, let's talk.

2--Email constantly about the status of your manuscript. My day flies by much quicker than I could ever have dreamed. I typically read new submissions on evenings and weekends because my business day is packed with editing my current authors, among other tasks. So it can take a while to get to new submissions. Please, don't fret. I promise, it's in the pile.

3--Send a manuscript that's a rough draft or hasn't been proofread. Editors know errors are going to happen. I'm totally cool with that, and I anticipate it--I just want a good story, and I'm happy to work with authors on the rest. But if your manuscript is littered with insanely obvious errors (e.g., there's a HUGE difference in spraying your cologne and spraying your colon)...well, it makes me drink. And my eyes bleed.

4--Tell everyone on FB/Twitter/your blog/in the newspaper that the editor is a fatty fat jerk for rejecting you. I can't emphasize enough that it isn't personal. Not every story works for every person. Just keep submitting to other editors. YOU ONLY NEED ONE EDITOR to love it and acquire it.

5--Nitpick to death about house style. Every publishing house has various particulars that are non-negotiable style-wise. Editors abide by these when we're editing your manuscript. Rejecting those edits just makes the job more difficult. And the liver more springy due to heavy drinking.

6--Be a total diva. My authors know I'm a hands-on, thorough editor. I comment a LOT as I read and edit because I'm engaged in the story. When I present an edited manuscript, there's lots of stuff in there that are suggestions and don't NEED to be followed. If you don't want to do those, no skin off my nose. However, there's other stuff I recommend edits for because of more serious content issues. Battling over edits makes me dislike working with you. I'd MUCH rather you take time to consider the edits, and if you don't want to make particular changes, let's talk. We can find a compromise that makes everyone happy.

7--When you get an offer from another publisher, only give, like, 2 minutes to read/decide upon your manuscript. Look, the buck doesn't stop here. Even if for some reason I'm able to read through your manuscript overnight (because typically, I have to push aside all my other work to do so), it still has to go to an acquisitions meeting. And those aren't daily--at least, not in my experience. Harlequin's meetings are usually weekly. I can't move mountains or make it go faster. Please, be patient.

8--In your query letter, say you're the next big thing in X genre. You telling me that your writing is better than

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It's time for the second leg of the Girls Taking Over the World tour! Join me, Saundra Mitchell, Lara Zielin and Christine Johnson (plus special guests Julie Kagawa and Sara Bennett Wealer) as we sign books, talk about YA and promote girl power! More details HERE.

Here's my signing schedule (note: I won't be able to attend the Thursday signing in IN as I'd previously thought, though Saundra, Lara and Christine will still be there and rocking it!):

Book Talk, Q&A, Signing
Friday, August 26, 2011 7-9 PM
Special Guest: Julie Kagawa
Campbell County Public Library
Carrico/Ft. Thomas Branch
1000 Highland Ave
Ft. Thomas, KY 41075
(Sponsored by Blue Marble)

Book Talk, Signing
Saturday, August 27, 2011 4-6 PM
Special Guest: Sara Bennett Wealer
blue manatee
3054 Madison Road
Cincinnati, OH 45209

I hope to see you guys there. Woohoo!

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My darling sweetcheeks friend Lara Zielin totally did this, and I'm going to steal it because hey, thinking about happy things is never a waste of time. So, here we go--seven things I think are uber awesome, with accompanying pictures:

1. Whacky warning signs. This one was on the side of a blower man tool thingie. I love how it shows the severed finger. Warning! If you're stupid and stick your hand in here, you WILL LOSE a finger. Don't be like this fool.



2. Foxy shoes. Chad got me these for Christmas, and I LOVE THEM and totally can't wait until fall so I can rock these suckas.



3. Funny pie charts. hahahahaha get it? It's a BOOTY.



4. Fires! This one is from my fireplace. Look at how fancypants I stacked it--ooh la la!



5. Dog spooning. My little doxie pup Duke is trying his best to spoon Lucy, a vishla. Good try, little guy. Good try.



6. Themed parties. Back in March I held an Ides of March toga party. CHECK OUT THIS CAKE. It was hilarious. Rivers of blood. A knife. Body parts. Epic.



7. This puppet. I named him Officer No-Nos. He has a theme song. He will be vlogging with me verra soon, during which time you shall hear his theme song. I think he's hilarious. LOOK AT THAT 'STACHE.

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Once again, it's time to play, "How in the World Did You Find Me?", a fun little game where I pull up the cracked-out keywords people use to find me. Here are my favs among this feisty bunch:

--World's crappiest house. Well, I know my house needs to be clean, but I'd HARDLY call it the crappiest.

--Chicken sandwich with chips. Okay, that sounds REALLY good right now.

--Creepy songs about young girls. Wonderful. I write ONE blog post about creepy pedo songs, and now I'm the go-to gal for it. Yes, I leave quite a legacy for my children.

--How do I morph into a yugioh girl character? Um, I don't know...but I'm laughing. Hard. And if you find out, please let the rest of us know.

--I like a 12 year olf. I have nooooo idea what this means, but perhaps you meant to write "old" instead of "olf"...? And if that's true, why would you google this phrase?

--jewish kick off uncomfortable shoes. hahaha. HAHAHAHAHA

--gut eating. EWW.

So, that's it for now. Do you have a blog or site? What funny keywords have people used to find YOU? Share in the comments!

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Warning--this is a very raw post about writing and the publishing industry. Be warned...

As some of you may know, I sold my YA trilogy STUPID CUPID in February 2008. Since then, I've written a number of proposals, brainstormed dozens of ideas, frantically wrote and wrote and wrote and pulled hair out and wrote and wrote and wrote more in the increasingly desperate attempt to sell again.

It didn't happen.

My books came out in December 2009, February 2010, May 2010. They hit the shelves. Then shortly thereafter they left the shelves, wallowing away into certain obscurity. Book tours and signings came and went, gaining me a few new readers at a time. Web site updates, more writing, gotta promote myself, why isn't anything new selling? WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?

Writing became work. Work became a strain. Strain made me lose my joy. Instead, life became all about the numbers--how can I increase my sales? How can I increase my sales? How can I sell new books to build a backlist to increase my sales? HOW HOW HOW?

And meanwhile, in the deep-down part of me I was too scared to face, I felt unhappy. Disappointed. Invisible. Stupid. Talentless. Lame. Darling good writer friends continued to sell new books. People I couldn't stand continued to sell new books, and even shoot to the tops of bestseller lists. And here was me, somewhere in the middle of all that, writing and promoting and writing and promoting and pretty much drowning in lower midlist hell.

The continued rejection weighed on me. I struggled with excitement over promoting books that essentially felt dead in the water. I decided self-publishing is the exciting new world, so I pulled out a manuscript I loved but was a hard sell, polished up my darling superheroes and sent it out into the world, sure this would be the answer.

Still no increase in my numbers. No big sales. No big burst of popularity or notoriety.

My Stupid Cupid trilogy is being bound into one volume called STRUCK, releasing in December. A good last effort for me to get back on the bookshelves, continue to reach a new audience. Will it work? Honestly? I have no idea. But I've learned not to hold my breath anymore, to not expect anything, as cynical as it sounds. Though I've been in this industry for a few years now, there are so many things I still have to learn. Things I don't understand. Things that sting deeply.

The biggest problem here is that writing lost its sparkle. Lost its magic. Brainstorming was no longer fun--it was about coming up with a big concept that would surely sell. But it never did. It's embarrassing to think about how many ideas and proposals I've written that have flopped. But sometimes, that's how it goes. For a lot of people, that's how it goes.

Then I got a book idea. Very different than anything I've written. Dark. Brutal. Filled with scary emotions. An adult serial killer story that is going slowly, but moving forward. That is pulling out of me things I didn't realize I had. Depths I didn't realize I carried. Craft I didn't realize I could achieve.

And after that, after I've written the first 100 pgs and sent it to my adult agent, I'll go back to a YA proposal I'd abandoned before. One that is good and strong and compelling for me but had another too-similar story sell. So I'd dropped it, because my focus was on selling, not on writing.

But not right now. Right now, my focus is falling in love with writing again. I'm totally loving this crazy weird serial killer story. I'm eagerly anticipating my agent's opinions and thoughts so I can make it as strong as it can be.

And after that, I'll finish the YA proposal, because even though others have been sold like it, none of them are quite like mine. None of them have my voice, my eyes, my feelings, my unique point of view. So I will tell that story too. And I'll send it to my YA agent and work on making it awesome. And then hopefully, we'll send both of these stories out to editors.

Yester

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I'm doing a group signing for an event next weekend called (most epically) GIRLS TAKING OVER THE WORLD. Yes, it's true. Girls rule. Join me, Lara Zielin, Christine Johnson and Saundra Mitchell (with guest Aimée Carter) as we dish on how awesome it is to be a chick and why girl power is on the rise.

Here's the link showing all the tour dates: GTOTW. And here's our tour schedule for next weekend!

Reading, Q and A, Signing
Friday, August 5, 2011 7:00-9:00 PM
Nicola's Books
Special Guest: Aimée Carter
Westgate Shopping Center
2513 Jackson Avenue
Ann Arbor, MI 48103


Booktalk and Signing
Saturday, August 6, 2011 6:00-8:00PM
Summer's Stories
131 S Main
Kendallville, IN 46755


Booktalk and Signing
Sunday, August 7, 2011 2:00-4:00PM
Special Guest: Aimée Carter
Barnes and Noble Livonia
17111 Haggerty Rd.
Northville, MI 48167

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So, today is my BIRTHDAY, holla! I'm 35. Yup, hit mid-thirties and moving along quite nicely. And still saying ridiculous things like, "holla!"

Anyway, let's celebrate. I'm going to give away TEN copies of my adult superhero novel, SUPER ZERO. And how can you enter to win a copy of this oh-so whacky fun (and yet...strangely alluring) ebook? By answering this simple question in the comments area: Who's your fav superhero and why?

If you tweet/FB/Google+/blog/etc. the contest, you get an extra entry per each effort, so make sure to let me know in your comment! And please make sure to provide me with an email address so I can reach you in case you're a winner.

Let's keep it open for a few days. Contest will end Monday night, 7/25/11 at 11:59 pm EST. So enter, enter, enter (and don't forget, if you help me spread the word, you get an extra entry per promo). Contest is open to anyone. Prize will be distributed via Amazon or emailed directly to you if you don't have an Amazon acct--I have a variety of formats available, so if you don't have an ereader or ebook apps on your phone/computer, you can still enter to win.

Thanks so much, guys!

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