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Welcome to *Insert Literary Blog Name Here*. Half writing portfolio, half blog, ILBNH is just another cozy corner of the internet dedicated to reading, writing, and anything else that takes my fancy.
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1. How To: Using iBooks Author As An Editor

iBooks Author file with editorial notes

Although Apple claims most of their products are game changers, iBooks Author actually is. Not just as a free platform to create books for the iPad, but as an editing tool.

Despite my preference for curling up in a chair with a cup of coffee and a red pen, most of my editing work is done on-screen. This way, edits are not lost, pages aren’t eaten by the cat, and it’s easy for me to share my work when it’s done. Lately, though, I’ve been making most of my notes by importing work into iBooks Author, then exporting or previewing the file in iBooks on the iPad.

Wait, can’t you do that with a PDF?

I could. And I have. But I am not a fan of PDFs in general; I’d rather use a Word doc or a rich text file. And iBooks won’t mark up PDFs; you need a third party app such as Papers.

So why go to the effort of downloading iBooks Author when I could get another free app and use a PDF?

On the iPad, iBooks has a number of useful built in options, making it possible for readers to mark up e-text the same way they’d mark up a print version. To date, you can:

  • add bookmarks
  • highlight in yellow, green, blue, pink or purple
  • add scrolling sticky notes
  • underline in red.

Can I get my notes off the iPad?

iBooks study cards for export

iBooks study cards for export

Yes. Your notes (not highlights, unfortunately), are also easily converted to study cards and exported. Within the book, tap to bring up the top nav and select the icon that looks like a study card to reveal a list of your notes. Then you can select what you want and email the notes. Each note will show your comments, a page number, a chapter, and a date.

So how do you use it?

Most of the time, I make notes on the iPad then input the changes manually–it really is like using a print version, but without the risk of losing a page. I also color code my notes, using yellow for deletions, blue for additions, pink for ideas, and red underlining for clunky wordy. When I’ve completed an edit, I mark it green, so I can see my progress at a glance.

Although iBooks doesn’t replace the track changes function in Word, it’s a useful editing tool, especially if you’re only making comments (as opposed to highlighting sections for later reading/study). So far, I’ve found it best for larger documents (in the 20-80k range), although, if the notes are complex, I often end up using my bluetooth keyboard.

iBooks notes after export and emailing

iBooks notes after export and emailing

And for less complex work? Anything under 10 pages isn’t worth the effort of setting up the file unless you want to use images/view i

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2. Apologies for the Slew of Posts – A Site Hiccough

A quick apology for the multiple hire me posts that showed up in the ILBNH feed tonight. There was some confusion between my sites this evening, and a URL redirect messed with this one. I’m in the process of updating my nameplate and professional site–in relation to my current project–hence the post content.

Thanks for being understanding, blogosphere. Happy Friday, everyone.

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3. Reading: Greek Mythology for Toddlers

                       
                                                                                                           Source: gapingvoidgallery.com via Heather on Pinterest

If you’ve read any Greek mythology, you know how it stays with you. The stories are everywhere in pop culture, the trappings apparent in everything–words, common metaphors, even fashion. I devoured Greek mythology–along with Roman, Norse, Egyptian, Chinese, and Japanese mythologies–as a child, then later, as a teen. Sometime in my early twenties, it fell by the wayside; I started reading less mythology and more analysis thereof. But the stories themselves remained with me, because mythology has a habit of doing that. It sneaks up on you at the most unexpected moment and whispers things like “Yes, that is a totally Oedipal subplot in the novel you’re reading, but I’ll bet no one actually ends up blind,” or “Hey girl, see how you’re jealous of your two best friends because they’re talking to that guy? That’s so Ill(iad) of you!”

And sometimes, when you’re stuck in a no sleep rut, lying in the dark save for your kid’s Twilight Turtle, with a too-amped-up to sleep kid, Mythology will come to the rescue. Sure, you could pick up an illustrated D’Aulaire’s and read it before bed.  But there’s something about telling myths, about sharing oral stories, that’s well-suited to the dark. And once you get past explaining the concept of gods and goddesses, the stories themselves are easy to tell–and rather enthralling, even for the least attentive of kids.

Mythology and Your Toddler: How to Get Started

Not all myths are kid appropriate. Aside from the obvious themes–chasing down unwilling women/nymphs, for example–some stories, like Echo & Narcissus, are too slow moving for small attention spans. But stories about things kids are used to, like the moon, the stars, and the sun, are always a hit. So are action stories, like the labors of Heracles and Thesus & the Minotaur (just gloss over the whole punishment, lying with a bull part). Most myths are easily shortened, or broken into sections, too, so you’re not recounting hours’ worth of lineage to a bored toddler in the dark.

4. Television People Don’t Read–But They Should

Jules talks books

Have you ever noticed how people living in TV Land rarely read? (Note that for the purposes of this post, I’m talking about reading books, as opposed to blogs, papers, and other short span media, and that I’m referring to fictive shows only.)

Take Cougartown1 for example: In this week’s episode, Jules (Courtney Cox) openly stated that she’s not really a reader.

And then there’s Glee2, and New Girl and House, Doctor Who and How I Met Your Mother. Again, no one reads.

Does anyone on TV read? Sometimes, fathers read newspapers and mothers read magazines. Very occasionally, someone on Gossip Girl reads a book (though mostly they just talk about writing them, in very unrealistic terms). Castle shows people reading, but generally only Castle’s book. In fact, the only show I can think of that has a few readers, and shows at least one person reading every other episode or so, is Star Trek: The Next Generation3. And it depicts a balance of e-reading and print reading.

If we consider television as a reasonable depiction of society (and I’ll admit, I’m not sure we can), it’s saddening to think that so few people read.

Some People Have Never Read A Book

According to a 2008 article in the BBC Online, some people claim to have never read a book. And,

40% of people admit to lying about having read certain books, according to a study published last year by the Museums, Libraries and Archives Council. And half read the classics just because we think it makes us look more intelligent.


Would a run of TV episodes showing characters reading encourage more people to read? Could we treat reading as a product, and use books as product placement? Generally speaking, publishers can’t afford to drop enough cashola for a single title to appear on any given show; I don’t expect them to pay out to get folks reading, either. But statistics on high school reading are rather alarming. According to a 2009 report from the National High School Center (PDF):

  • The percentage of high school seniors performing at or above the basic level in reading on the National Assessment of Educational Progress (NAEP) decreased from 80% in 1992 to 73% in 2005 (NCES, 2007).
  • Over the same period, the percentage of high school seniors performing at or above the proficient level decreased from 40% to 35% (NCES, 2007).
  • About 70% of high school students need some form of remediation; the most common problem is that students cannot comprehend the words they read—not that they cannot read them (Biancarosa & Snow, 2004).


Reading product placement certainly isn’t a quick fix–it won’t remedy the dearth of teachers, the overpacked classrooms, or bridge the economic divide. Bu

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5. Television People Don’t Read–But They Should

Jules talks books

Have you ever noticed how people living in TV Land rarely read? (Note that for the purposes of this post, I’m talking about reading books, as opposed to blogs, papers, and other short span media, and that I’m referring to fictive shows only.)

Take Cougartown1 for example: In this week’s episode, Jules (Courtney Cox) openly stated that she’s not really a reader.

And then there’s Glee2, and New Girl and House, Doctor Who and How I Met Your Mother. Again, no one reads.

Does anyone on TV read? Sometimes, fathers read newspapers and mothers read magazines. Very occasionally, someone on Gossip Girl reads a book (though mostly they just talk about writing them, in very unrealistic terms). Castle shows people reading, but generally only Castle’s book. In fact, the only show I can think of that has a few readers, and shows at least one person reading every other episode or so, is Star Trek: The Next Generation3. And it depicts a balance of e-reading and print reading.

If we consider television as a reasonable depiction of society (and I’ll admit, I’m not sure we can), it’s saddening to think that so few people read.

Some People Have Never Read A Book

According to a 2008 article in the BBC Online, some people claim to have never read a book. And,

40% of people admit to lying about having read certain books, according to a study published last year by the Museums, Libraries and Archives Council. And half read the classics just because we think it makes us look more intelligent.


Would a run of TV episodes showing characters reading encourage more people to read? Could we treat reading as a product, and use books as product placement? Generally speaking, publishers can’t afford to drop enough cashola for a single title to appear on any given show; I don’t expect them to pay out to get folks reading, either. But statistics on high school reading are rather alarming. According to a 2009 report from the National High School Center (PDF):

  • The percentage of high school seniors performing at or above the basic level in reading on the National Assessment of Educational Progress (NAEP) decreased from 80% in 1992 to 73% in 2005 (NCES, 2007).
  • Over the same period, the percentage of high school seniors performing at or above the proficient level decreased from 40% to 35% (NCES, 2007).
  • About 70% of high school students need some form of remediation; the most common problem is that students cannot comprehend the words they read—not that they cannot read them (Biancarosa & Snow, 2004).


Reading product placement certainly isn’t a quick fix–it won’t remedy the dearth of teachers, the overpacked classrooms, or bridge the economic divide. But 0 Comments on Television People Don’t Read–But They Should as of 1/1/1900

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6. Hello world!

Welcome to WordPress. This is your first post. Edit or delete it, then start blogging!

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7. Leaves, paper leaves, story leaves

20111128-002927.jpg

taken at Drumlin Farm in Lincoln, Mass.

I have been treading on leaves all day until I am autumn tired…

They spoke to the fugitive in my heart as if it were leaf to leaf.
They tapped at my eyelids and touched my lips with an invitation to grief.
But it was no reason I had to go because they had to go.
Now up, my knee, to keep on top of another year of snow.

~ Robert Frost, The Leaf Treader

Robert Frost was my first American poet. The first time I read this poem, many years ago, it returned me to Lewis’ Voyage of the Dawn Treader. Perhaps a staggered re-reading of the pair, author and poet together, is in order.

20111128-002859.jpg

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8. Leaves, paper leaves, story leaves

20111128-002927.jpg

taken at Drumlin Farm in Lincoln, Mass.

I have been treading on leaves all day until I am autumn tired…

They spoke to the fugitive in my heart as if it were leaf to leaf.
They tapped at my eyelids and touched my lips with an invitation to grief.
But it was no reason I had to go because they had to go.
Now up, my knee, to keep on top of another year of snow.

~ Robert Frost, The Leaf Treader

Robert Frost was my first American poet. The first time I read this poem, many years ago, it returned me to Lewis’ Voyage of the Dawn Treader. Perhaps a staggered re-reading of the pair, author and poet together, is in order.

20111128-002859.jpg

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9. Leaves, paper leaves, story leaves

20111128-002927.jpg

taken at Drumlin Farm in Lincoln, Mass.

I have been treading on leaves all day until I am autumn tired…

They spoke to the fugitive in my heart as if it were leaf to leaf.
They tapped at my eyelids and touched my lips with an invitation to grief.
But it was no reason I had to go because they had to go.
Now up, my knee, to keep on top of another year of snow.

~ Robert Frost, The Leaf Treader

Robert Frost was my first American poet. The first time I read this poem, many years ago, it returned me to Lewis’ Voyage of the Dawn Treader. Perhaps a staggered re-reading of the pair, author and poet together, is in order.

20111128-002859.jpg

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10. Gorgeous Paper Sculptures Pop Up Around Edinburgh

@Edencityoflit's gorgeous paper sculpture
@Edencityoflit’s gorgeous paper sculpture, via Anna @ Anna-Not-Karenina

For those who didn’t catch it on GalleyCat or in The Guardian, a remarkable, new-slash-mixed-media artist has been leaving some rather stunning paper sculptures at libraries and other cultural institutions around Scotland.

The sculptures–usually addressed to the recipient’s Twitter account–are astonishing, tiny marvels of fantastic bookishness. It is particularly dorky, I know, but this one actually made me tear up a little.

There’s been a bit of discussion about who the artist is, with several folks suggesting Su Blackwell, though one commenter on the original post says it’s definitely not Blackwell’s work. Much as I’d like to know, though, I love that these gifts are anonymous tokens of bookish love. Hopefully, they’ll still be on display when I eventually get to visit the Scotland (my mum is from Glasgow, and yet I’ve never been…).

So far, gifts have been made to:

  • the Scottish Poetry Library, @byleaveswelive (I love this handle)
  • the National Library of Scotland, @natlibscot
  • the Filmhouse (home of the Edinburgh international film festival), @filmhouse
  • the Scottish Storytelling Centre, @scotstorycentre
  • the Edinburgh international book festival, @edbookfest
  • UNESCO Edinburgh City of Literature, @edencityoflit (my favorite)
  • the Central Lending Library on George IV bridge, @Edinburgh_CC

See them all, with photos by Chrisdonia, here, then pass them on. Also, a few fun pics with the tree sculpture and Ian Rankin @ Anna-Not-Karenina’s post on the Edinburgh Book Festival.

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11. Gorgeous Paper Sculptures Pop Up Around Edinburgh

@Edencityoflit's gorgeous paper sculpture
@Edencityoflit’s gorgeous paper sculpture, via Anna @ Anna-Not-Karenina

For those who didn’t catch it on GalleyCat or in The Guardian, a remarkable, new-slash-mixed-media artist has been leaving some rather stunning paper sculptures at libraries and other cultural institutions around Scotland.

The sculptures–usually addressed to the recipient’s Twitter account–are astonishing, tiny marvels of fantastic bookishness. It is particularly dorky, I know, but this one actually made me tear up a little.

There’s been a bit of discussion about who the artist is, with several folks suggesting Su Blackwell, though one commenter on the original post says it’s definitely not Blackwell’s work. Much as I’d like to know, though, I love that these gifts are anonymous tokens of bookish love. Hopefully, they’ll still be on display when I eventually get to visit the Scotland (my mum is from Glasgow, and yet I’ve never been…).

So far, gifts have been made to:

  • the Scottish Poetry Library, @byleaveswelive (I love this handle)
  • the National Library of Scotland, @natlibscot
  • the Filmhouse (home of the Edinburgh international film festival), @filmhouse
  • the Scottish Storytelling Centre, @scotstorycentre
  • the Edinburgh international book festival, @edbookfest
  • UNESCO Edinburgh City of Literature, @edencityoflit (my favorite)
  • the Central Lending Library on George IV bridge, @Edinburgh_CC

See them all, with photos by Chrisdonia, here, then pass them on. Also, a few fun pics with the tree sculpture and Ian Rankin @ Anna-Not-Karenina’s post on the Edinburgh Book Festival.

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12. Gorgeous Paper Sculptures Pop Up Around Edinburgh

@Edencityoflit's gorgeous paper sculpture
@Edencityoflit’s gorgeous paper sculpture, via Anna @ Anna-Not-Karenina

For those who didn’t catch it on GalleyCat or in The Guardian, a remarkable, new-slash-mixed-media artist has been leaving some rather stunning paper sculptures at libraries and other cultural institutions around Scotland.

The sculptures–usually addressed to the recipient’s Twitter account–are astonishing, tiny marvels of fantastic bookishness. It is particularly dorky, I know, but this one actually made me tear up a little.

There’s been a bit of discussion about who the artist is, with several folks suggesting Su Blackwell, though one commenter on the original post says it’s definitely not Blackwell’s work. Much as I’d like to know, though, I love that these gifts are anonymous tokens of bookish love. Hopefully, they’ll still be on display when I eventually get to visit the Scotland (my mum is from Glasgow, and yet I’ve never been…).

So far, gifts have been made to:

  • the Scottish Poetry Library, @byleaveswelive (I love this handle)
  • the National Library of Scotland, @natlibscot
  • the Filmhouse (home of the Edinburgh international film festival), @filmhouse
  • the Scottish Storytelling Centre, @scotstorycentre
  • the Edinburgh international book festival, @edbookfest
  • UNESCO Edinburgh City of Literature, @edencityoflit (my favorite)
  • the Central Lending Library on George IV bridge, @Edinburgh_CC

See them all, with photos by Chrisdonia, here, then pass them on. Also, a few fun pics with the tree sculpture and Ian Rankin @ Anna-Not-Karenina’s post on the Edinburgh Book Festival.

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13. B&N Doesn’t Carry Catcher in the Rye? At Least, Not All The Time

While pulling covers for another post on Friday night, I tried to grab a cover for the Salinger classic Catcher in the Rye on barnesandnoble.com. And here’s the result (image composited from two screen caps):

At 11:46:

B&N Doesn't Carry Catcher in the Rye?

 

Did the back to school rush wipe out B&N’s stock? Or is it just inventory error? And since when are the Eragon series, James Patterson, and Stephen King shelved next to Catcher?

Strangely enough, a second search revealed a more reassuring result:

At 12:08:

And here it is now...a little over 15 minutes later

 

B&N also has my other fave Salinger, Franny and Zooey, in stock, so props for carrying the lesser known of the two.

At least B&N has Franny & Zooey reading to ship

Interestingly, I had the same error when I searched for Neal Stephenson’s Snow Crash. Has this happened to anyone else?

0 Comments on B&N Doesn’t Carry Catcher in the Rye? At Least, Not All The Time as of 1/1/1900
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14. B&N Doesn’t Carry Catcher in the Rye? Not All The Time

While pulling covers for another post on Friday night, I tried to grab a cover for the Salinger classic Catcher in the Rye on barnesandnoble.com. And here’s the result (image composited from two screen caps):

At 11:46:

B&N Doesn't Carry Catcher in the Rye?

 

Did the back to school rush wipe out B&N’s stock? Or is it just inventory error? And since when are the Eragon series, James Patterson, and Stephen King shelved next to Catcher?

Strangely enough, a second search revealed a more reassuring result:

At 12:08:

And here it is now...a little over 15 minutes later

 

B&N also has my other fave Salinger, Franny and Zooey, in stock, so props for carrying the lesser known of the two.

At least B&N has Franny & Zooey reading to ship

Interestingly, I had the same error when I searched for Neal Stephenson’s Snow Crash. Has this happened to anyone else?

0 Comments on B&N Doesn’t Carry Catcher in the Rye? Not All The Time as of 1/1/1900
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15. B&N Doesn’t Carry Catcher in the Rye? Not All The Time

While pulling covers for another post on Friday night, I tried to grab a cover for the Salinger classic Catcher in the Rye on barnesandnoble.com. And here’s the result (image composited from two screen caps):

At 11:46:

B&N Doesn't Carry Catcher in the Rye?

 

Did the back to school rush wipe out B&N’s stock? Or is it just inventory error? And since when are the Eragon series, James Patterson, and Stephen King shelved next to Catcher?

Strangely enough, a second search revealed a more reassuring result:

At 12:08:

And here it is now...a little over 15 minutes later

 

B&N also has my other fave Salinger, Franny and Zooey, in stock, so props for carrying the lesser known of the two.

At least B&N has Franny & Zooey reading to ship

Interestingly, I had the same error when I searched for Neal Stephenson’s Snow Crash. Has this happened to anyone else?

0 Comments on B&N Doesn’t Carry Catcher in the Rye? Not All The Time as of 1/1/1900
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16. B&N Doesn’t Carry Catcher in the Rye? Not All The Time

While pulling covers for another post on Friday night, I tried to grab a cover for the Salinger classic Catcher in the Rye on barnesandnoble.com. And here’s the result (image composited from two screen caps):

At 11:46:

B&N Doesn't Carry Catcher in the Rye?

 

Did the back to school rush wipe out B&N’s stock? Or is it just inventory error? And since when are the Eragon series, James Patterson, and Stephen King shelved next to Catcher?

Strangely enough, a second search revealed a more reassuring result:

At 12:08:

And here it is now...a little over 15 minutes later

 

B&N also has my other fave Salinger, Franny and Zooey, in stock, so props for carrying the lesser known of the two.

At least B&N has Franny & Zooey reading to ship

Interestingly, I had the same error when I searched for Neal Stephenson’s Snow Crash. Has this happened to anyone else?

0 Comments on B&N Doesn’t Carry Catcher in the Rye? Not All The Time as of 1/1/1900
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17. Mummy, Interrupted (9.10.11)

Mir @ StorytimeBeing a mother is making me existential.

A few weeks ago, I ran into a friend at a coffee shop, someone I don’t see often enough. And while we were chatting, I had an epiphany.

Having children hollows you  It scoops out all the dross and guts and congealed ideas until you’re left with yourself at your most basic. Luxuries–showers, full bottles of tabasco sauce, unattached, unassigned time–give way to necessities. Necessities like emptying the diaper pail, rushing out for diapers in the middle of the night1, or always having an applesauce pouch tucked about my person.

Somehow, over a blurred series of sleepless nights, I’ve grown from a tabasco-loving neurotic into a relatively calm mum, the kind who laughs and uses words like kiddo and is almost always covered in goop, or paint, or stickers.

Yesterday, I found a yellow crane sticker on my shoulder. I’m not sure how long it was there, but since I’m in a cast (broken hand) and couldn’t reach (despite thirty minutes of trying), it had to wait until I saw Joe six hours later. Even then, I’d've probably forgotten if the dratted thing hadn’t itched.

I do not know how this happened, where the calm, or the patience, or the normalcy has come from.

For the most part, I don’t mind the hollowness–the extra space can always be filled with chocolate. And I like being described as patient, and easy-going, like having people give me credit for my child’s awesomeness, even though I’m pretty sure his even temperament and propensity toward sharing are less Peta and more dumb luck. And I still have neurotic days, though, in some ways, having a broken hand is a blessing. After all, it’s hard to be overworked and neurotic when:

a. I can’t wash dishes;

b. I can’t open jars;

c. I can’t carry large, heavy grocery bags;

d. The kidlet is drawing butterflies on my cast.

1Also, an upside down kimono shirt and a crapload of cotton wool work well in a pinch. Or a snowstorm. Or any night the walk to the all-night Shaw’s seems interminably long…

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18. Mummy, Interrupted (9.10.11)

Mir @ StorytimeBeing a mother is making me existential.

A few weeks ago, I ran into a friend at a coffee shop, someone I don’t see often enough. And while we were chatting, I had an epiphany.

Having children hollows you  It scoops out all the dross and guts and congealed ideas until you’re left with yourself at your most basic. Luxuries–showers, full bottles of tabasco sauce, unattached, unassigned time–give way to necessities. Necessities like emptying the diaper pail, rushing out for diapers in the middle of the night1, or always having an applesauce pouch tucked about my person.

Somehow, over a blurred series of sleepless nights, I’ve grown from a tabasco-loving neurotic into a relatively calm mum, the kind who laughs and uses words like kiddo and is almost always covered in goop, or paint, or stickers.

Yesterday, I found a yellow crane sticker on my shoulder. I’m not sure how long it was there, but since I’m in a cast (broken hand) and couldn’t reach (despite thirty minutes of trying), it had to wait until I saw Joe six hours later. Even then, I’d've probably forgotten if the dratted thing hadn’t itched.

I do not know how this happened, where the calm, or the patience, or the normalcy has come from.

For the most part, I don’t mind the hollowness–the extra space can always be filled with chocolate. And I like being described as patient, and easy-going, like having people give me credit for my child’s awesomeness, even though I’m pretty sure his even temperament and propensity toward sharing are less Peta and more dumb luck. And I still have neurotic days, though, in some ways, having a broken hand is a blessing. After all, it’s hard to be overworked and neurotic when:

a. I can’t wash dishes;

b. I can’t open jars;

c. I can’t carry large, heavy grocery bags;

d. The kidlet is drawing butterflies on my cast.

1Also, an upside down kimono shirt and a crapload of cotton wool work well in a pinch. Or a snowstorm. Or any night the walk to the all-night Shaw’s seems interminably long…

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19. Mummy, Interrupted (9.10.11)

Mir @ StorytimeBeing a mother is making me existential.

A few weeks ago, I ran into a friend at a coffee shop, someone I don’t see often enough. And while we were chatting, I had an epiphany.

Having children hollows you  It scoops out all the dross and guts and congealed ideas until you’re left with yourself at your most basic. Luxuries–showers, full bottles of tabasco sauce, unattached, unassigned time–give way to necessities. Necessities like emptying the diaper pail, rushing out for diapers in the middle of the night1, or always having an applesauce pouch tucked about my person.

Somehow, over a blurred series of sleepless nights, I’ve grown from a tabasco-loving neurotic into a relatively calm mum, the kind who laughs and uses words like kiddo and is almost always covered in goop, or paint, or stickers.

Yesterday, I found a yellow crane sticker on my shoulder. I’m not sure how long it was there, but since I’m in a cast (broken hand) and couldn’t reach (despite thirty minutes of trying), it had to wait until I saw Joe six hours later. Even then, I’d've probably forgotten if the dratted thing hadn’t itched.

I do not know how this happened, where the calm, or the patience, or the normalcy has come from.

For the most part, I don’t mind the hollowness–the extra space can always be filled with chocolate. And I like being described as patient, and easy-going, like having people give me credit for my child’s awesomeness, even though I’m pretty sure his even temperament and propensity toward sharing are less Peta and more dumb luck. And I still have neurotic days, though, in some ways, having a broken hand is a blessing. After all, it’s hard to be overworked and neurotic when:

a. I can’t wash dishes;

b. I can’t open jars;

c. I can’t carry large, heavy grocery bags;

d. The kidlet is drawing butterflies on my cast.

1Also, an upside down kimono shirt and a crapload of cotton wool work well in a pinch. Or a snowstorm. Or any night the walk to the all-night Shaw’s seems interminably long…

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20. Mummy, Interrupted (9.10.11)

Mir @ StorytimeBeing a mother is making me existential.

A few weeks ago, I ran into a friend at a coffee shop, someone I don’t see often enough. And while we were chatting, I had an epiphany.

Having children hollows you  It scoops out all the dross and guts and congealed ideas until you’re left with yourself at your most basic. Luxuries–showers, full bottles of tabasco sauce, unattached, unassigned time–give way to necessities. Necessities like emptying the diaper pail, rushing out for diapers in the middle of the night1, or always having an applesauce pouch tucked about my person.

Somehow, over a blurred series of sleepless nights, I’ve grown from a tabasco-loving neurotic into a relatively calm mum, the kind who laughs and uses words like kiddo and is almost always covered in goop, or paint, or stickers.

Yesterday, I found a yellow crane sticker on my shoulder. I’m not sure how long it was there, but since I’m in a cast (broken hand) and couldn’t reach (despite thirty minutes of trying), it had to wait until I saw Joe six hours later. Even then, I’d've probably forgotten if the dratted thing hadn’t itched.

I do not know how this happened, where the calm, or the patience, or the normalcy has come from.

For the most part, I don’t mind the hollowness–the extra space can always be filled with chocolate. And I like being described as patient, and easy-going, like having people give me credit for my child’s awesomeness, even though I’m pretty sure his even temperament and propensity toward sharing are less Peta and more dumb luck. And I still have neurotic days, though, in some ways, having a broken hand is a blessing. After all, it’s hard to be overworked and neurotic when:

a. I can’t wash dishes;

b. I can’t open jars;

c. I can’t carry large, heavy grocery bags;

d. The kidlet is drawing butterflies on my cast.

1Also, an upside down kimono shirt and a crapload of cotton wool work well in a pinch. Or a snowstorm. Or any night the walk to the all-night Shaw’s seems interminably long…

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21. Reading: What Makes a Book Unsatisfying?

Catching Fire, Suzanne Collins

This post was first published in March 2010, but I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately. As I wind up the first draft of a new project–I’m in that mad, almost love-drunk rush that comes with knowing the end is nigh–I keep drifting back to these three questions:

1. Can I wrap this up without leaving a tangled mess of loose ends?

2. Have I revealed enough for the end to work, or is it just a poorly fashioned deus ex machina?

3. Am I forcing my leads into roles they don’t want?

And these three, in turn keep bringing me back to the ultimate two: Will my book be satisfying? And is it engaging?

* * *

See my follow-up, “What Makes a Book Satisfying?” here.

Reading is quite the investment. Not just in terms of monetary cost, but in terms of time spent reading the story, digesting the story, and, if it’s a very good book (or if you’re a deep reader), thinking about the story afterward. Some books are clearly worth the investment (Pride & Prejudice anyone? Vonnegut’s Cat’s Cradle? L’Engle’s A Wrinkle in Time?), while others are a win-some-lose-some deal. And then there are the books we give our hearts to freely, only to have the world’s most unsatisfying ending snatch them away.

Unsatisfying Books

So what makes a book satisfying? It’s hard to pin down, partially because it’s easier to work out what’s unsatisfying.
This month, I’ve read four books, two of which (Suzanne Collins’ Catching Fire and Jasper Fforde’s Shades of Grey) had supremely unsatisfying endings. The latter hurt my heart/brain/squeeglesquawk so much that it kept me up the better part of last night.

Picking over the bones of these stories, and a few others I’ve found unsatisfying over the past year or two, I’ve found that the majority of unsatisfying books are those that don’t wrap up properly. At the end of the book, it’s hard to say exactly what it’s about, why we loved/hated it because we don’t really know it. For me, these books are like a song I only kinda-sorta know–the chorus gets stuck in my head, but I can’t recall the singer/band, or resolve the melody without depending on an annoying Hey Jude like fade.

Although it may seem unfair to count Catching Fire as a book I found unsatisfying because it’s part of a series, I think a series book with a frustrating wrap-up is

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22. Reading: What Makes a Book Unsatisfying?

German Hunger Games trilogy covers

This post was first published in March 2010, but I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately. As I wind up the first draft of a new project–I’m in that mad, almost love-drunk rush that comes with knowing the end is nigh–I keep drifting back to these three questions:

1. Can I wrap this up without leaving a tangled mess of loose ends?

2. Have I revealed enough for the end to work, or is it just a poorly fashioned deus ex machina?

3. Am I forcing my leads into roles they don’t want?

And these three, in turn keep bringing me back to the ultimate two: Will my book be satisfying? And is it engaging?

ETA: the original Catching Fire image was having issues, so I’ve replaced it with these German covers instead. I like this much better, anyway.

* * *

See my follow-up, “What Makes a Book Satisfying?” here.

Reading is quite the investment. Not just in terms of monetary cost, but in terms of time spent reading the story, digesting the story, and, if it’s a very good book (or if you’re a deep reader), thinking about the story afterward. Some books are clearly worth the investment (Pride & Prejudice anyone? Vonnegut’s Cat’s Cradle? L’Engle’s A Wrinkle in Time?), while others are a win-some-lose-some deal. And then there are the books we give our hearts to freely, only to have the world’s most unsatisfying ending snatch them away.

Unsatisfying Books

So what makes a book satisfying? It’s hard to pin down, partially because it’s easier to work out what’s unsatisfying.
This month, I’ve read four books, two of which (Suzanne Collins’ Catching Fire and Jasper Fforde’s Shades of Grey) had supremely unsatisfying endings. The latter hurt my heart/brain/squeeglesquawk so much that it kept me up the better part of last night.

Picking over the bones of these stories, and a few others I’ve found unsatisfying over the past year or two, I’ve found that the majority of unsatisfying books are those that don’t wrap up properly. At the end of the book, it’s hard to say exactly what it’s about, why we loved/hated it because we don’t really know it. For me, these books are like a song I only kinda-sorta know–the chorus gets stuck in my head, but I can’t recall the singer/band, or resolve the melody without depending on an annoying H

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23. Reading: What Makes a Book Unsatisfying?

German Hunger Games trilogy covers

This post was first published in March 2010, but I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately. As I wind up the first draft of a new project–I’m in that mad, almost love-drunk rush that comes with knowing the end is nigh–I keep drifting back to these three questions:

1. Can I wrap this up without leaving a tangled mess of loose ends?

2. Have I revealed enough for the end to work, or is it just a poorly fashioned deus ex machina?

3. Am I forcing my leads into roles they don’t want?

And these three, in turn keep bringing me back to the ultimate two: Will my book be satisfying? And is it engaging?

ETA: the original Catching Fire image was having issues, so I’ve replaced it with these German covers instead. I like this much better, anyway.

* * *

See my follow-up, “What Makes a Book Satisfying?” here.

Reading is quite the investment. Not just in terms of monetary cost, but in terms of time spent reading the story, digesting the story, and, if it’s a very good book (or if you’re a deep reader), thinking about the story afterward. Some books are clearly worth the investment (Pride & Prejudice anyone? Vonnegut’s Cat’s Cradle? L’Engle’s A Wrinkle in Time?), while others are a win-some-lose-some deal. And then there are the books we give our hearts to freely, only to have the world’s most unsatisfying ending snatch them away.

Unsatisfying Books

So what makes a book satisfying? It’s hard to pin down, partially because it’s easier to work out what’s unsatisfying.
This month, I’ve read four books, two of which (Suzanne Collins’ Catching Fire and Jasper Fforde’s Shades of Grey) had supremely unsatisfying endings. The latter hurt my heart/brain/squeeglesquawk so much that it kept me up the better part of last night.

Picking over the bones of these stories, and a few others I’ve found unsatisfying over the past year or two, I’ve found that the majority of unsatisfying books are those that don’t wrap up properly. At the end of the book, it’s hard to say exactly what it’s about, why we loved/hated it because we don’t really know it. For me, these books are like a song I only kinda-sorta know–the chorus gets stuck in my head, but I can’t recall the singer/band, or resolve the melody without depending on an annoying H

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24. Reading: What Makes a Book Unsatisfying?

German Hunger Games trilogy covers

This post was first published in March 2010, but I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately. As I wind up the first draft of a new project–I’m in that mad, almost love-drunk rush that comes with knowing the end is nigh–I keep drifting back to these three questions:

1. Can I wrap this up without leaving a tangled mess of loose ends?

2. Have I revealed enough for the end to work, or is it just a poorly fashioned deus ex machina?

3. Am I forcing my leads into roles they don’t want?

And these three, in turn keep bringing me back to the ultimate two: Will my book be satisfying? And is it engaging?

ETA: the original Catching Fire image was having issues, so I’ve replaced it with these German covers instead. I like this much better, anyway.

* * *

See my follow-up, “What Makes a Book Satisfying?” here.

Reading is quite the investment. Not just in terms of monetary cost, but in terms of time spent reading the story, digesting the story, and, if it’s a very good book (or if you’re a deep reader), thinking about the story afterward. Some books are clearly worth the investment (Pride & Prejudice anyone? Vonnegut’s Cat’s Cradle? L’Engle’s A Wrinkle in Time?), while others are a win-some-lose-some deal. And then there are the books we give our hearts to freely, only to have the world’s most unsatisfying ending snatch them away.

Unsatisfying Books

So what makes a book satisfying? It’s hard to pin down, partially because it’s easier to work out what’s unsatisfying.
This month, I’ve read four books, two of which (Suzanne Collins’ Catching Fire and Jasper Fforde’s Shades of Grey) had supremely unsatisfying endings. The latter hurt my heart/brain/squeeglesquawk so much that it kept me up the better part of last night.

Picking over the bones of these stories, and a few others I’ve found unsatisfying over the past year or two, I’ve found that the majority of unsatisfying books are those that don’t wrap up properly. At the end of the book, it’s hard to say exactly what it’s about, why we loved/hated it because we don’t really know it. For me, these books are like a song I only kinda-sorta know–the chorus gets stuck in my head, but I can’t recall the singer/band, or resolve the melody without depending on an annoying H

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25. Mummy, Interrupted (7.2.11)

Housework, Becky F

 

“Housework can kill you if done right.” ~ Erma Bombeck

I am drowning in other people’s stuff.

Since having Mir, I have been downsizing–giving away clothes, books, toys. But most of what I’ve cleared is my own: My books, my clothes, a few stuffed toys & trinkets. I am down to around two weeks’ worth of regular wear clothes; I’m buying mostly ebooks; and I’m curating my collections with a careful eye, weighing every possession by the seasoned mover’s metric, “Is this worth paying to move?”

And still, I am drowning–in toys, and books, and other people’s clothes. Yet these things are not my issue, but rather an (annoying) symptom. My time is scarce, and I feel as if I am fighting to write, to read, to run, doubling up on my commitments so that now I read as I run, lest I not have time to touch a book the rest of the day. I write as I shower, or tidy, or walk the kidlet in his stroller, keeping copious mental notes, scribbling memory-joggers when I’m tired in pigeon scrawl that is barely recognizable as my own.

I bring this on myself. Taking care of a toddler (mostly) on my own while attempting to work is a special breed of insanity. But much as I love husband and kidlet, they are not enough. I can’t function without writing or reading–it’s like my mind goes into a quiet, desperate kind of sensory deprivation when I do nothing, and I feel like I will explode.

I am being slowly subsumed by my husband and child, like they are eating me from the inside out and soon there will be nothing left but dust and bones. And it is my fault, because I am letting them, but I do not know how to keep them from taking everything I am while still being a good person, a sane person, a person who is there for them when they need me, but still in some semblance of charge of her own life.

Somehow–and I really, truly do not understand how–I am failing at mothering, and wifing, and bad wifing, and bad mothering, because I cannot seem to decide on which I want to be. Instead, I flit between needing to scream and wanting to plunge headfirst into a basin of water to do it so no one can hear me, and thinking I am the luckiest woman in the world because I have two people whom I love so much I feel like my heart will tear from the sheer effort of it. There is no middle ground; I seem only able to do extremes, and extremes are exhausting.

But this is the price of mothering–and writing. Being a stay-at-home mum, a homemaker, or a “domestic engineer,” a term I despise almost as much as overripe mangoes and movies with mawkish soundtracks, is an underrated living. Tack on writer in the dawning of a new age of self-publishing, and you are left with a double whammy of somewhat frowned upon and illegitimate positions, particularly in an area where there are more universities than chocolate shops. I need a road map, and I do not know where to find one.

Drowning in other people’s stuff, though, helps me appreciate the small things: The solitary shower I had this morning, surrounded by bath toys, but with no trains or buses wending their way inexorably closer to my exposed (and sensitive) feet; the quietude of a cup of tea, knowing I don’t have to share it with small fingers (Mir loves herbal tea);  turning off the air conditioner and being able to sit with just one blanket rather than two, or three, or four. It’s also given me a greater appreciation of the bathroom because, in a small, one bedroom apartment, a bathroom is a full room, a room with outlets for a computer

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