Oh boy! March, the month Spring comes rolling in, and I have the pleasure of hosting author Gary Eby. In reviewing content for this post, I came across Gary’s story behind his book,
The Eby Way. I’m a firm believer in the power of our minds and projection and this is right in line with that. So, here’s the interesting story of putting it out there and Gary’s road to publication.
The Story behind The Eby Way Publication By Gary EbySo I am sitting outside today on our porch in Grants Pass, Oregon. The sky is partly cloudy with enough holes in the white puffy stuff to allow the sun to warm my face. Yeah, I am getting my so called "vitamin D shot".
I understand vitamin D is supposed to be good for you; it fights cancer and other scary diseases. On the other hand, I shouldn't stay too long in the sun, because we are told to fear the beast of skin melanoma.
The good news is my wife and I will be heading to the Oregon coast soon for hopefully five glorious days in a rented beach home located in the town of Yachats. Also, I am appreciating the slight breeze which touches my face as I look out into the distance, past our huge 100 feet Ponderosa Pines, quaking Aspens, and the purple looming mountains on the horizon.
My eyes drift upward to take a scan of the grand, blue heavens, poking through those partially white and gray clouds. And my breath is almost taken away from the sight of the biggest hawk I have ever seen in my life.
You know what? Maybe it's not a hawk. The wing span is so large, I am reminded of those one-man glider kites. I think that awesome, floating bird could be a turkey vulture or maybe even a golden eagle. Wow. Whatever avian creature circles above me, the message that startles my consciousness today is the importance of rising above all that we fear.
Fear is one of those dark secrets that holds us writers, both young and old, captive from all we deserve to become. As a matter of fact, fear can be a force of self-destruction and negativity no matter what hopes and dreams we want to pursue. Let me present a more personal example of my struggle with this darkness.
Almost a year ago, on July of 2007, I was reading The Secret, by Rhonda Burns. She makes the wonderful point about the "Law of Attraction" that what we project out from our minds into the universe, we will surely receive: send out the positive and receive the positive; embrace negativity and remain imprisoned by the negative.
The thought came to me (as I pondered her formula of asking, believing, and receiving), that I had a manuscript collecting 20 years of dust on our closet shelf. What was holding me back from sending that baby out to the universe?
I experienced an unpleasant twinge in my stomach: I was afraid that what I wrote wasn't good enough; that inexplicably hurt. In a sudden splash of insight, honesty, and openness, I said to myself: "Gary why don't you use the skills and principles that help your clients overcome despair, mental illness, addictions, homelessness, poverty, and incarceration? Just finish what you started so long ago." Yet the inner dark side replied, " Because you are a social worker not a writer."
However, I took a deep breath for three seconds, and I slowly let the air out of my lower lungs for six or more. I went through my yoga, tai-chi, and meditation routine. I used the "ask, believe, and receive" process. And I added my own prayer of going into the Light within: "Thank you God for all that I have and for all that I receive."
Title: Ageing Well: A Guide to Rejuvenation and Longevity
Author: Dr. George Cromack, D.C., F.I.A.M.A.
Publisher: Outskirts Press, Inc.
ISBN: 978-1-4327-3365-0
Reviewer: Karen Cioffi for BookPleasures.com
Having a number of health issues, I’ve read many books on alternative strategies, juicing, eating to live healthy, and so on. Ageing Well fits right there among them, and brings to light some tools and techniques that I was unaware of. I found some of the sections in the book informative and helpful while others were a bit much for the average person and more suitable for the hardcore health enthusiast.
To read the entire review please go to:
BookPleasures.com
Talk to you soon,
Karen
Title: The Mother-in-Law’s Manual: Proven Strategies for Creating Healthy Relationships with Married Children
Author: Susan Abel Lieberman, PH.D.
Genre: Nonfiction/Family Matters
Publisher: bright sky press
ISBN: 978-1933979410
Reviewer: Karen Cioffi for BookPleasures.com
The Mother-in-Law’s Manual is a wonderfully insightful and at times humorous advice manual for dealing with not only in-laws, but also other family members. Having recently seen a commercial for Monsters-in-Law, with Jennifer Lopez, it was refreshing to read a much more realistic portrayal of mother-in-laws, especially since I am one myself.
Lieberman’s first chapter explains that when our children are young we are afforded an abundance of advice from professionals such as Dr. Spock. But, when our children are grown, leave the nest and marry, we are left to fend for ourselves. Lieberman’s analogy for the marriage is: “They are moving to a new country that they will create together. Yes, we get territorial. Use my bill of rights. Celebrate my holidays. Serve my food. Even if we don’t see it like a competition, we are likely to consider each deviation a loss.”
Situations that never existed before are now ones that can cause hurt, sadness, and even anger, along with satisfaction and happiness. This book delves into all the emotions that come into play. The child who was once yours now belongs to someone else. The author alludes to the fact that this is more of an issue when it is your son and you are dealing with a daughter-in-law. But, whether son or daughter, the dynamics of the family change.
The Mother-in-Law’s Manual is jammed packed with bits and pieces of wisdom. One of my favorite gems comes right after the “10 most recommended rules” for mothers-in-law which are all the same, “Keep your mouth shut.” Lieberman cleverly explains: “Even if we could follow the rule(s) and not say one word that would be heard as contentious, judgmental, argumentative, or critical […] our children would still hear contentions, judgments, arguments, and criticisms.” As a mother and mother-in-law, these are words that ring true. At times it seems you just can’t win. I thought this section was so funny, I had to read it to my husband.
It is difficult to do justice to all the pearls of wisdom in this book. It explains not to fret over the small things, our perceptions and our intent matter, when not to offer advice, and so much more. It even considers the roles of grandparents, children’s relationships to aging parents, and the aging process itself as Lieberman coins as “zippy to droopy.” She even includes a glimpse of her relationship with her own mother, the frustrations and sometimes guilt that is inevitable when a parent reaches an old age or is ill. Having taken care of a quadriplegic mother my experiences are somewhat different, but in some aspects they are the same. When watching your parent age, you wonder if you’re looking at your future.
Lieberman’s efforts produced an impressive book that all family members should read. Her research involved interviews with as many mothers-in-law across the country and from different backgrounds as she could. She even interviewed a number of daughters-in-law and sons-in-law. Many of these interviews are in the book. Some of their stories/advice sounded familiar, others were surprising. But, they all brought another element of enlightenment. Adult children who read this, married or unmarried, will hopefully gain insight into their parents as not only Mom or Dad, but as individuals with a life of their own including hopes, needs and feelings.
One final gem from the book that struck a chord with me is in Chapter Ten: “I understand my children are not my friends, that our relationship is that unique connection between parent and child. But, there is a way in which we are candid and honest with close, old friends, yet show a carefulness, a respectfulness that can be forgotten with parents. As soon as we begin to feel superior to a friend, the nature of the friendship shifts.” Lieberman hit just about every nail on the head with The Mother-in-Law’s Manual. I give this book 5 Stars and highly recommend it.
About the author: Susan Abel Lieberman currently lives in Houston and works as an executive coach. She has written five books, including New Traditions: Redefining Celebrations for Today’s Family. The Mother-in-Law’s Manual springs from the realization that her assumption that anyone would be thrilled to have her for a mother-in-law was off base. Rather than accepting family tension, she put her skills as a researcher and an executive coach to work to improve the situation. Ordained as an interfaith minister, Lieberman also holds a master’s from Berkeley, and a Ph.D. from the University of Pittsburg. As a wife, mother, mother-in-law and grandmother, she is well-versed in the challenges presented by every stage of family life. The Mother-in-Law’s Manual brings her personal and professional insights together to help mothers-in-law everywhere start a new chapter in their family life.
Talk to you soon,
Karen Cioffi
http://www.dkvwriting4u.com
Reviewer for BookPleasures.com
Sterling House is reputable and I've watched their tweets. And you are so right, getting picked up by a traditional publisher is a lottery toss. But hey, what else can we writers do but prod forward and write and hope, right?
Loved your interview and glad you finally decided not to hold back your book. I think most of us feel a bit insecure at times when we read other authors and then think maybe our book is just not good enough. Who knows if these other published authors didn't feel the same way.
The only way to find out is to publish and market the beegeebees out of it. So BIG kudos to you and may you have continued success.
I think my light must shine 24/7. Even keeps me awake at night. I can't seem to turn it off. I rarely find writing tedious. Sometimes I have to sit down and write and it makes my wife mad because she wants to spend time with me. But when those creative juices are flowing, I have to take advantage and type them out or risk losing the thoughts forever.
Stephen Tremp
Well written article and I agree the creative force originates in and pours forth from the Light - the light that is within all of us. This light is, in fact, our true self.
Enjoyed this feature very much. Nice job, Karen ad Robyn, and thank you Gary!
Marvin D Wilson
Gary, I love your outlook on life! I wish you much success with your writing career.
Gary, your article was very inspiring. I'm glad you won out ver fear. fear can be crippling if welet it. Itsees tome that you are following the path god has given you. Writeon!
Hey, All, thanks for stopping by. It is important to move forward even through doubts and fear sometimes. One of my site's name if: Nothing Ventured, Nothing Gained!
Like Lea, says: "The only way to find out is to publish and market the beegeebees out of it."
And, Stephen, I also have that problem. I keep a pad by my bed so if a "to do" enters my head I write it down and can then forget about it.
Karen
Nice post and very inspiring. We all suffer from the fear factor at some point but you are so right, let the inner light shine and move past it to success. Blessings as you move forward with your goals. Thanks for sharing.
Gary, I'm a big vitamin D fan, too. And I live in Southern California where we get lots of sunshine. Still need extra. It is a joy to read about you and your Eby Way.
Best,
Carolyn Howard-Johnson
Tweeting writing tips and resources @frugalbookpromo
Interesting story behind the book. With writing and publishing it's a lot like that old saying, "We have nothing to fear but fear itself."
I enjoyed reading this post. Thanks for letting us know about this author.
Loved your interview, Gary. I'm glad you decided to finish your book. I'm sure it will be a great blessing to people and help them overcome trials in their own lives.
Thanks, All, for stopping by.
Suzanne, FEAR is such a limiter and creates so many boundaries...that saying is so true.
Carolyn and Gary, I'm suppose to take 1200mg of D daily but take only 800. It's suppose to help the immune system.
Thanks again,
Karen
I enjoyed the post, Gary. The Eby Way sounds doable and helpful.
I like the post. Strangely though it is often fear that motivates and inspires me. Is that weird? Nice to meet you, Gary!
Very interesting article. I agree that fear can keep us from our dreams. I plan to keep moving slow and steady.
Hey, Vivian, Dana, and Kristi, thanks for stopping by!
Dana, you're lucky in how fear motivates you.
Kristi, that the best way to win the race!
Great interview. I'm a big believer in what you believe you recieve.
Martha Swirzinski
Wow what an inspirational story! Gary I have a feeling your book is going to help many, many people! Keep up the wonderful work and best of luck in the future! Karen, thanks for the wonderful post!
All best,
Dallas
http://dallaswoodburn.blogspot.com/
I agree Dallas. Thanks for stopping by!
Fear is a pretty darn insidious thing for us writers! Thanks for sharing.
And I think you've won the prize for the most rejections I've ever see--498! Wow. BUT...two positives... that's great.
Heidi