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1. Two Blue Ribbons.

posted by Neil
I'm in Montreal for Worldcon. The convention starts tomorrow, and all sorts of excitement is undoubtedly happening, but I am in my room writing a blog entry and when I have done that I will go to sleep. This is because I am old and boring.

Twenty two years ago, at my first Worldcon, I was not old and boring. As I remember I hardly slept at all, because I was 26 and fairly certain that Something Interesting Might Happen at any moment and I did not want to Miss a Second Of It, and actually, something interesting happened most of the time, and I didn't miss any of It, until Sunday evening when I missed the Hugo Ceremonies because I had fallen asleep, and was woken by the after-Hugo Fireworks, which I dreamed were the bombs falling in the trenches of World War I. And even then, I could not believe the idea that there were people who pootered off to their rooms and slept, just because it was, you know, night. Didn't they know it was Worldcon?

And now I'm one of the ones who go and sleep. I hope there are a new crop of sleepless 26 year olds downstairs, and they can make sure that they don't miss It, if It happens. (The ConReporter, at http://www.conreporter.com/, a sort of aggregator of the people who are here and blogging, might have been a useful tool for that.)

So. Award news. And listen, this one is big.

We (and by we, I mean the Birdchick and Lorraine and Woodsman Hans and the Birdchick's long-suffering husband Bill and me of course and any of our passing guests who have been persuaded to put on a white bee suit and come and hold the smoker, but most of all the amazing 60,000 bees in the Yellow Hive and the just as amazing 60,000 bees in the Green Hive) took two Blue Ribbons in the county fair, for Extracted Honey and for Comb Honey (a Ross Round). We are, of course, over the moon.

The extracted honey is from the yellow hive, and it tastes of mint and wildflowers. It's a very light yellow (as is all our honey this time of year). The comb honey is from the green hive. I have no idea what it tastes like, but it looks beautiful.

(I moved the bell-jar from the red hive, where they ignored it, to the green hive, where they immediately headed in, began investigating, and appear to have already started doing comb-in-the-jar things. Will report further when I get home.)

Next to that news, everything pales, but the word that I was nominated for two World Fantasy Awards was pretty thrilling. (I hope Margo Lanagan gets best novel for Tender Morsels, by the way. Even if it does make the Guardian tut a bit.) Congratulations to all the nominees -- especially to Elise Matheson.

World Fantasy Con is Hallowe'en Weekend (in San Jose website is http://www.worldfantasy2009.org/). I won't be there as I'm going to be in Singapore for the literary festival. But I will miss it.



and get a motley, and interesting, bunch of answers.

Puzzled that what I thought was a fairly innocuous and uncontroversial thing to point out (that the current Vampire fiction thing has crested, and that it might be a good idea if it died back for a while) seems to have somehow become news of a sort, making the Guardian Blog and then getting repeated and linked to a lot, becoming Neil Hates Vampires in the process.

Oh well.

Spent a glorious day with Dave McKean meeting the people behind the scenes at the Cirque Du Soleil, who are based out here. I love creative, smart people who follow their dreams, and they are that. (Dave has photos up at http://twitpic.com/photos/davemckean)

I signed up for a Google Voice invite last week, and it came through a couple of days ago. I signed up for a number with lots of memorable sixes in it, and have been playing with it ever since. It's marvellous so far. Will report back in a few weeks whether I still think it's marvellous.

On the Tor website, Teresa Nielsen Hayden is going to be rereading Sandman and writing about it. She introduces the project at http://www.tor.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=blog&id=49187. You should be able to follow it at http://www.tor.com/index.php?option=com_comprofiler&task=searchByTag&tag=sandman%20re-read and the metacommentary has begun as well.

There is a giveaway on the Mythic Delirium website, where you can get the 20th Anniversary Edition (with my trout heart poem in it). Learn what it is here.

Okay. It is time for a few mailbag questions...


Dear Neil -- Forgive me if you've addressed this already, I searched and didn't see an answer. Do you know if the Stephin Merrit's music from the Coraline musical will be recorded and made available sometime? I'd love to hear it!

Definitely. I'm not sure when, but I know they recorded it, on the stage of the Lortel theatre (as that was where the pianos were).

A recent NY Times Magazine article discussed the influence of the work of Jack Vance, and it included you as a contributor to a collection of stories based on his work "Dying Earth." I've been reading speculative fiction for decades and have made three separate attempts to read some of his writing without getting very far. Can you offer some insight into your thoughts about Vance's work--what facets of storytellign does he excel at? And where do you feel someone who wants to appreciate him should start?

I think the New York Times was astonishingly perceptive in its description of Jack Vance's writing, and why people like it (and why writers like it). Where to start? The Dying Earth stories hooked me. There's a short story called 'The Moon Moth' that's pretty much perfect. The three books that make up Lyonesse are big and delightful and have a lot for a reader to sink his or her teeth into.

Hello!

I'm a huge fan, and have been for a while. Keep up the good work!

I do have a question, though, that I haven't found anywhere (yet...), and was wondering if you could enlighten me.

How do you know when your story is ready to be told?

I am currently in the editing process before publishing, and as the due date draws near, I find myself in somewhat of a panic, asking myself: What if there's eventually more to tell that I can't quite think of just yet? What if, somewhere down the line, something X in this novel doesn't make sense with something Y in a future novel? What if this novel really isn't ready? Do I write another one? Is there time for another one? What would Neil Gaiman do?

I thought you would be the best person to ask. If I'm overreacting and over-thinking for no apparent reason, too, let me know.

Thank you for your time.

Raine


I tend to know that a story is done when I find I'm more interested in the next thing.

But it will never be perfect. And...

Hang on. I've answered this before, haven't I? (Does a few second hunt, and finds longish replies at http://journal.neilgaiman.com/2005/03/spiders-all-way.asp and http://journal.neilgaiman.com/2005/01/zoinks-jinkies-jeepers.asp.) Yup. Read those over.

Dear Neil-

As a librarian I want to say thank you so much for your continuing support of libraries. You helped bring a lot of awareness to the lead testing issue earlier this year, as well as different censorship issues in libraries.

I'm writing to ask if you can help bring awareness to the fact that a month ago the Governor of Michigan signed an executive order abolishing the Department of Histories Arts and Libraries. This includes the Library of Michigan who provides electronic databases as well as the Michigan Electronic Library, without which many small local libraries around the state will barely be able to function.

http://dintywrites.blogspot.com/2009/08/mhal-closing-protest.html

this link has information about a protest of the decision being held at the capitol as well as links to the executive order that abolished the department.

Thank you for helping if you can


Consider it posted. And now I sleep.

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2. The Father's Day & Invisible Plane Post

posted by Neil
Two of my children have grown up and gone away, and I have one left at home (here seen piloting her invisible plane, in a photo by Kyle Cassidy). And it's Father's Day, which seems like the best time to mention how much I enjoy, and appreciate, being a father. I've learned more from being a father than from anything else I've done, any books I've read, anything I've studied, anyone I've spoken to. It's a good thing being a father, if you enjoy it, which I do. So this is where I say thank you to Mike and to Holly and to Mads, for teaching me so much. And for being smart and loving and funny.

Last night Maddy told me she has Planned Things for today. I do not know what these things are. She and her friends have not yet woken from their sleepover. Last night I used them as guinea pigs to test out some BPAL prototype scents Beth had sent in my direction. Last year's Snow Glass Apples scent and booklet was a huge success when it was released at Comic-con, both as a scent and as a snapped-up CBLDF benefit unique thing (here's a CBLDF link to what appears to be the last few copies/bottles in the world). This year's scent is remarkable. I forgot it was meant to be a secret, and cheerfully unbagged the cat on Twitter, but will be slightly more circumspect here and say only that it is a scent that will accompany a short story that appears in Fragile Things and M is Magic, concerning the eating of things.

(Beth, Goddess of BPAL, sent me three different versions of the scent in question, and let me choose. I picked the version with Raisins and Smoke, but without Beer. For some reason the beer made it smell like coconuts, when applied to skin. Everything Beth does is alchemy and magic as far as I am concerned.)

Over on CBC's Definitely Not the Opera, the wonderful Sook-Yin Lee interviewed me about being a father and being a son, and that's now up in their Father's Day special. (It's a really good interview, much of it stuff I don't recall being asked in interviews before. It starts about 55 minutes in, and ignore the awkward link-edit at the beginning that makes it sound like I'm saying that my small son and I were newlyweds.) The MP3 file is at http://podcast.cbc.ca/mp3/dnto_20090620_17235.mp3



This writer has a list of "Five Things Someone Else Should Do."

http://www.omnivoracious.com/2009/06/leave-an-idea-take-an-idea-five-things-someone-else-should-totally-do.html

(Sorry about the awkward link). Among them is "Ideas in Abundance," taking Madoc's outpouring of ideas in "Calliope" and actually writing stories around them. Have you ever considered authorizing such an anthology?


The writer in question is the remarkably brilliant China Mieville, who is smart and prolific and a nice guy to boot.

And no, I don't think I could officially authorise such an anthology (given that the Sandman is owned by DC Comics.) If someone did it, however, on the web or on paper, I would be delighted.

Hi again
I was looking at my new-from-Amazon Crazy Hair book (pretty pictures, lovely rhymes), when something seemed a bit odd. Did you change the second line? I remember you reading it three years ago, and I remember something like "I am thirty, Bonnie's three".
Now I see it's "We were standing silently" or something like that.
Just out of curiosity, am I right, and why did you change it?

ET


I changed it because, when Dave had finished the illustrations (and it took him many years to do Crazy Hair), Bonnie really did not look like she was three. Not even a little bit. And it seemed much easier, and quicker, for me to change the line than to ask Dave to repaint every page.

Hi Neil,
"The native dragons of the British Isles"
The term British Isles is a bit of a sore point.
I'm an Irish fan of yours. The term British Isles suggests Ireland as part of the Isles. We are no longer part of Britain and up to the point of the vikings you mentioned we were not part of Britain either. I know it might seem like a silly point to you but the term still strokes a lot of old wounds with people here. And I know it was not intentional, so I thought I would clarify for the future.

I hope the writing is flowing and all is well in your world,

Declan


Ah, there. I managed to give offense while just trying to figure out a way of talking about the places that these stamps were sold. If it's any comfort, I wasn't thinking about Ireland while writing that sentence. (And just read the Wikipedia discussion with fascination.)

Hi Neil -

you may want to let your readers know that in addition to the presentation pack you can also purchase postcards of the stamp designs - which will be absolutely perfect for filling the conspicuous Neil Gaiman bumpersticker void. (Seriously, please tell the Neverwear people to get some bumperstickers up - the 'How to talk to girls at parties' art or the 'lil Sandman would be fabulous... If I were creative enough, I'd make a black & white bumpersticker w/the silhouettes of the Endless on it, but alas - my skills are lacking.)

I just ordered both from the US with no problems, btw.

Thanks for the stories!

I'll get onto it. Any Neverwear suggestions should be directed at Kitty, at her blog: http://kittysneverwear.blogspot.com/

Hey Neil,

Wayward young writer here.

I have a question concerning characters. Most of the writers I respect seem to create autonomous characters inside their own mind. This process sounds mad and delightful and impossible, at the moment.

I feel that my characters are glaring flaws in my stories. I want them to feel real and sovereign to my whims, instead of contrivances.

If you have any time to bestow some advice, I would greatly appreciate it. Just a revelatory aphorism or two.

Also, thank you for so many wonderful stories. Your stuff is guiltless pleasure reading.

Sincerely,
Dan Kelly


When I was a young writer I would come up with stories, and then put characters into them. And each of the characters would often feel like, in Thurber's words, "a mere device".

I think the breakthrough for me came when I started writing comics -- because I believed in them. Because sometimes I would be using characters I hadn't created, but simply cared about. And over the next few years I learned that if you cared enough about your characters, what happened to them was interesting.

I'm not sure that's much of an aphorism, but it's important to care about them, about who they are and what they do. And (for me) for them to be people I would want to spend time with -- I don't really care whose side they are on, and they can be monstrous on the outside or, worse, on the inside, but you still have to want to spend time with them. If you met one of these characters socially would you talk to them, or make an excuse and flee?

(As a sidenote, I think the years I spent as a journalist doing interviews for magazines really helped as well. I learned a lot about speech patterns, and ways of describing people, and letting their words describe them. But more importantly, I learned that if you are actually interested, and not faking it, people will tell you anything, and you will take pleasure in their company. So my suggestion for any young writer is, talk to people, especially people you would normally avoid talking to. Find out their stories. Figure out how you would put them into stories, if you would, or just describe them with a few words.)

Hello Mr. Gaiman,

My question, or requested suggestion, is how to properly utilize personal tragedy to fuel writing. For reasons that do not bear explanation, someone that was unhealthily important to me has left, and I have continually tried to use it as inspiration, but it's having quite the contrary effect.

I have the kind of free time any writer would dream about, but none if it is productive, and I would like it to be.

So, again, any words of wisdom would be very appreciated. And if not, I understand given your busy schedule.

Thank you either way.


I don't think immediate tragedy is a very good source of art. It can be, but too often it's raw and painful and un-dealt-with. Sometimes art can be a really good escape from the intolerable, and a good place to go when things are bad, but that doesn't mean you have to write directly about the bad thing; sometimes you need to let time pass, and allow the thing that hurts to get covered with layers, and then you take it out, like a pearl, and you make art out of it.

When my father died, on the plane from his funeral in the UK back to New York, still in shock, I got out my notebook and wrote a script. It was a good place to go, the place that script was, and I went there so deeply and so far that when we landed Maddy had to tap me on the arm to remind me that I had to get off the plane now. (She says I looked up at her, puzzled, and said "But I want to find out what happens next.") It was where I went and what I did to cope, and I was amazed, some weeks later when I pulled out that notebook to start typing, to find that I'd written pretty much the entire script in that six hour journey.

So my suggestion is, stop trying to use it and do something else. (Which sounds a bit dim and simple when I put it like that. "Doctor. It hurts when I do this. What should I do?' "Stop doing this." But you know what I mean.)

Right. Girls are stirring in rooms above. I shall make them pancakes with sliced strawberries in them.*







*When I am king I shall make out of season non-local strawberries illegal. They don't taste like strawberries. Every year in June I have to remind myself that actually, I like these things, and that sun-warmed strawberries fresh-picked in season are one of the heavenly delights of the world. It's those big red faintly starberry-flavoured things called strawberries that turn up the rest of the year I dislike.

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3. more on introductions and contradictions

Time for another introduction, I think.

Introductions are such odd things. You write them and you never really know if they're doing any good at all. For example, a few weeks ago this arrived on the FAQ line,

What makes you feel that you are qualified to comment on Bob Kane when it is obvious that you know so little about him?

You ruined my opportunity to buy a Will Eisner book by your misinformed comments on Kane which you included in your intro. (Kane, not Jerry Robinson, drew the Batman stories from 1939-43.) If you need more info, rely on valid sources and not rumors or gossip. Either that or I can send you an outline. I do research.



And, puzzled, I wrote back:

Hello.

I was puzzled by your letter, so went through both of the introductions I did to books by Will Eisner and found a grand total of one mention of Bob Kane. I said, in the Nortons' CITY STORIES collection,


I wanted to know why he kept going, why he kept making comics when his contemporaries (and his contemporaries were people like Bob Kane -- before he did Batman, remember) had long ago retired and stopped making art and telling stories, and are gone.

Which leads me to suspect that possibly you read some other introduction by somebody else. Probably you should write irritated emails to them, instead.

best wishes

Neil

But it turned out the email given was wrong, and it came back. (I assume it was unintentionally wrong -- a quick Google showed a person out there with a name like the one on the email enthusiastically defending Bob Kane's reputation on Wikipedia.) So I'm putting it up here in the hopes that the grumpy gentleman gets to read it.

But every now and again you get something like this:

Hey Neil,


On the introduction theme I just wanted to tell you that once years ago, when perusing the stacks at USC, I came upon the Robert Silverberg section. "Hmm," I said to myself, "that name sounds familiar."


I picked up one of the paperbacks (The Man in the Maze), and lo! You'd written an introduction to it!


Of course I checked it out on your recommendation and discovered an amazing author I otherwise wouldn't have, and, of course, searched your blog and discovered that it was indeed you who had put the seed of his name into my head to begin with.


So, thanks! And keep on writing those intros (and everything else)!

- Theresa B


Which reminded me that there was a Robert Silverberg introduction out there that I'd rather enjoyed writing (and some people might enjoy reading). So here it is, the introduction to Bob Silverberg's The Man in the Maze :


The Wound that Never Heals: an Introduction.


Several thousand years on, no-one is quite certain of the details. But the meat of the story is this: Philoctetes was there at the cremation of Hercules, and was given Hercules’s quiver of poisoned arrows. And something happened – a snake bite, perhaps, or even a magical arrow dropped on his foot. Either way Philoctetes was injured on the foot, and it was a wound that would not heal. Sometimes they don’t.


The Trojan War had just begun, and Philoctetes went to fight with the Greeks, who were laying siege to Troy. There was a problem, though. The wound. It stank. A disturbing reek that made the people around Philoctetes sick to their stomachs. It smelled like the dead. It smelled worse than that.


Philoctetes was sent into exile.


The seige of Troy dragged on for another ten years.


And then someone dreamed a dream, an important dream, an oracular dream: if the arrows of Hercules were brought to Troy, then Troy would fall. They sent a messenger to Philoctetes, and invited him back. But Philoctetes had no wish to return...


And because the good stories last and can be (perhaps even must be) infinitely retold, Philoctetes’ wound is also Muller’s, one of the grim trio of men who cross and recross the stage in The Man in the Maze, Robert Silverberg’s 1969 novel, although Muller’s wound is not a physical stench but a spiritual one: a communicable despair, the terrible odour of the human condition.


It is a good thing, The Man in the Maze, will suggest, that we are insulated from each other: we are wounded by living, by mere existence, and we could not stand the stink of each other’s souls.


Science Fiction, more than any other form of literature, is a progress, and it comes with a sell-by date. Some old SF can become unreadable. Some reputations erode with time. What we respond to, once the sell-by date is past, is art and, perhaps, is also truth.


It was Robert Silverberg, an author of, amongst many other things, speculative fiction, who gave us a story in which archaeologists unearth the texts of the 1960s, fragments of Bob Dylan lyrics are puzzled over, lacunae to be filled. To some extent, we are in that position now with the speculative fiction of yesteryear. They are texts that cry out for context.


Silverberg has had a number of careers in his career as an author, and as a writer. Since his arrival in the world of SF he has displayed a wide-ranging intellect and a facility as a writer that gave him his early career as someone who could create a volume of competent fiction on demand. In the late sixties and early seventies he entered a period of remarkable fecundity and quality, half a decade where he cut deeper, grew honest and edgy as a writer, and made demands on himself as an artist that culminated in such novels as Dying Inside and The Stochastic Man. From there, Silverberg, exhausted, retired from fiction, then returned, using an SF writer’s perspective to take us into Elizabethan Africa in his historical novel Lord of Darkness, and out across the edges of fantasy in the Majipoor sequence.


The Man in the Maze is from the beginning of the edgiest period. I think of it as a bridge book, in that, while it is courageous, exploring new territory, with one foot in the New Wave camp, it is still mindful of its roots. From the past of SF we get the strains of Space Opera, replete with incomprehensible aliens and inexplicable artefacts.


We also get some strange glimpses into our present. Fiction that predicts and creates dates sometimes because it, of necessity, leaves itself out. In this novel, we find ourselves recognising the maze, in the way no reader could have done in 1969. The maze is an imaginative deathtrap – at the time an astonishing imaginative creation, one that is dulled today only in that it is instantly recognisable as the environment of a computer game – an exercise in reflexes and memory, judgement and imagination. The process of moving through the maze, using drones and volunteers willing to give up their lives is the process of navigating a game – get to the centre of the maze alive, avoid capture, achieve your goal.


It is too easy to take the maze for granted, now, to let it fade back into the landscape: but the maze, in all its incarnations, is one of the characters in this novel.


I pointed earlier to the story of Philoctetes not to give you a key to the novel you are holding (there are no easy keys to good fiction, nor should there be), but to demonstrate the tradition that Silverberg’s story is a part of.


The title is, I suspect, as important as anything else in grasping the shape beneath the tale. (It is the man in the maze, incidentally, not the woman, as a reader soon notices – the absence of women from the tale, except as courtesans and sexual memories, is one of the few things that makes it feel like something from our past.) As one begins to read, the identity of the man in the maze is obvious: it’s Muller -- who else could it be? But as the journey through the book continues and concludes, one finds oneself wondering who the man truly was, and what the maze: the candidates are Ned Rawlins, who has an honest name and an open face, our young innocent; Dick Muller, the book’s Philoctetes, the experienced diplomat and soldier and frontiersman, now in hiding and in exile; and Charles Boardman, the wily elderly eminence grise, manipulating events and people as best he can. They form a male triad, shading from honour and integrity to expedience and compromise: the male equivalent of a maiden, a mother and a crone – or, more fancifully, father, son, and a particularly shifty Holy Ghost.


And each man, as the reader will learn, has been given his own maze by Silverberg – a maze that moves beyond the physical, beyond the video game deathtrap. It’s an invisible labyrinth he has to walk, and inside which he hides – a maze of morals, a maze of ethics, a maze, and ultimately, of humanity.



Neil Gaiman June 2002



.....


How wonderful that you linked to a Tim Minchin video! I saw his show in NY last Saturday and loved it. He's funny and talented and a very nice guy. I am a bit surprised, though, that you didn't note Mr. Minchin's last name nor tag the post with any part of his name. Not that you need to take up space in your blog to plug other people but I've noticed you typically do take the time to name the names of the worthy. (Last names also make for easier searches of your blog as it seems you know or write about a number of Tims.)

~Lexa


PS Minchin's show runs until the 12th of this month and, no, I don't work for him. Just a fan.

Quite right. The Inflatable You song was Tim Minchin's.

Hey Neil,


I have been writing stories for a while now, since I started reading your books, but I'm having a few problems. I have a story that is about 210 pages long now that I've been writing for about a year and a half, and I recently decided to revise it and edit a little.


The problem is; I have no idea where to start. I am beginning to forget some facts about the protagonist's past and whatnot, and it's starting to get very annoying. I want to move on, but I can't until I've straightened out the rest of the story. I feel like I'm lost!!


Has this ever happened to you, and if it has, how did you deal with it???


~your faithfully, Laura: a struggling 14 year old who enjoys scribbling random stories.


=]


First of all, well done! I couldn't have written 210 pages of a book when I was 14.

What you do is up to you. I can offer a few suggestions, but they're really only suggestions:

Normally, I'd say try and finish the book however you can, just making progress forward. Then, when you get to the end, put the book aside for a few weeks and then read the whole thing through at once, making notes as you go about what works, what doesn't, what needs fixing or changing or expanding or removing. Having done that, do your rewrite.

But you're fourteen. And you've been writing this for a year. That's an age at which you change really fast. Right now you're learning about writing, about making characters and listening to them talk, finding out what happens to them. Still, the stories you want to tell when you're 15 may not be the ones you wanted to tell when you're 15. (Or they may.)

I suppose what I'm saying is that it's not a bad thing if you want to move on to the next story. You should finish the one you're on, because you should learn how to finish telling a story. But you're learning so much, whatever you do next will be much better than anything you did a year ago...

Hi Neil,

When you're writing a novel, how many really good lines do you come up with during the first draft? How much of it needs to be rewritten later on? I realize at this point, you're probably so prolific that you don't throw away much.


I've been feeling awfully discouraged lately, worrying that my first draft is absolute garbage with very little worth keeping. (Though maybe it's because I tend to write my first draft as a stream of consciousness, so when I go back and read it, it makes little sense and I need to fix it up.)


Thanks,


Gary B. Phillips


Probably about 90% of what's in anything I write was there in the first draft. Maybe even 95%. But it's usually the final 5%, the tidies and tweaks and reorganisations that takes it, in my eyes, from just okay to something I can be proud of.

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4. Princess Mia: Review Haiku


Mia. Open your
goddamn EYES. Grow up. Move on.
Oh, wait -- you did. Good!


Princess Mia by Meg Cabot. Harper, 2008, 274 pages.

P.S. Munchkin: That says "princess!"
Me: Yes. Yes, it does. But you can't read it.

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5. Queen of Babble in the Big City: Review Haiku


O dear Lord, thank you
that I am neither single
nor twenty-something.


Queen of Babble in the Big City by Meg Cabot. Morrow, 2007, 307 pages.

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6. Size 14 Is Not Fat Either: Review Haiku


Is this where we'll find
Britney: crime-solving dorm chief?
One can only hope.


Size 14 Is Not Fat Either by Meg Cabot. Avon, 2006, 344 pages.

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