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I love words. I even love them – *especially* love them, come to think of it – when they’re kind of screwed up. It’s just too simple, and too fun, to play with a sequence of letters, put things where they aren’t supposed to go and surprise yourself with a totally new meaning.

One particularly fun way to do that is with a Spoonerism. It’s easy: You do it by taking two words that usually go together (like Top Hat) and switching the beginnings around (Hop Tat).

The switch is named after the estimable Reverend William Archibald Spooner of Oxford, who was reputed to misspeak in this way quite often, my favorite example being one he probably never said but everyone liked to say he did: “Well-boiled icicle” instead of “well-oiled bicycle.”

This already makes for some interesting ideas for illustrations, I’d think (though a well-boiled icicle would have to be, well, a puddle, wouldn’t it?), and sure enough I see now that Jon Agee and Shel Silverstein have already published whole books of illustrated Spoonerisms, but you can have a little fun yourself by making Spoonerisms out of the most meaningful words of all – names. Most of us have a couple of those lying around anyway, right?

Mine’s not too funny: “Dolin Cullaghan” is only slightly less pronounceable and just as vaguely Gaelic-sounding as “Colin Dullaghan” (the g is silent either way), but as I browse through the list of the other IF bloggers a few new, more fruitfully Spoonerized names present themselves. For instance, “Cernanda Fohen” strikes me as a character from Cervantes or Marquez (or Tolkien), while Meve Stack could be a burly Venusian gangster or some arcane line of programming code.

(Occasionally your name can become infinitely more dramatic through the process of Spoonerization, as my old coworkers Charlie Hopper and Kelly Houle would attest. I mean, who wouldn’t want to be “helly cool” on a Harley Chopper? And Sarah Palin’s is perhaps the best one I could even imagine. Then again, my sister-in-law Niki Kline suddenly shifts to “Klicky Nine,” which is either a button you shouldn’t push on the elevator or an equally inadvisable handgun.)

So that’s fun. But have you ever tried swapping the beginnings of names with your spouse or significant other? How about a family member? Looking at it that way, Penelope and I become “Kenny and Pollen,” and suddenly sound like an allergy list or a lite-rock duo from the early 80s. *Much* cooler than before. (“Helly cool,” you might even say.) Our friends Simon and Jamie become Jimon and Samey, which isn’t all that flattering (she’s quite individualistic, actually), but our other friends Ryan and Sarah turn into Sighin’ and Rare-a!

Try it with bygone elections: How would you have voted between Gush and Bore? Dincoln or Louglas?

Famous television duos: Bread and Farney, Lo and Buke, Shaverne and Lurley. Momer and Harge. Heck, Lart and Bisa, while we’re at it. I’m not particular about whether the new versions are real names (or words) or not.

The beloved ice cream entrepreneurs – I just now noticed this – take on the name of a lady I just talked to this morning: Jenn (&) Berry. How about that?

So if you’ve got a second, and a counterpart, give it a try to switch around the beginnings of your names. I’d be interested to hear what you come up with.

Mucho extra bonus points if you make art from the results.

At any rate, pope you liked my host.