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Viewing: Blog Posts Tagged with: washing machine, Most Recent at Top [Help]
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1. Brainwashing Machine

I recently painted a self-portrait on a modified washing machine. The installation's called "Brainwashing Machine" and it's accompanied by a laundry rack with brain-socks, brain-undies, a brain hoodie as well as suitable washing powders like "Cerebral Soft" and "Panic Oxi".  Enjoy!





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2. Friday Craft: More Fun Halloween Costumes

This post might be a little too late to effect this year’s Halloween, but if you’re stuck for a costume idea maybe these can help. If nothing else, you have some ideas for next year. :D

Pick of the Litter

The Dog-Lovers in the crowd were looking for a costume truly fit for the leader of the pack. We knew we’d hit the mark with this box full of puppies when five-year-old Bryce’s eyes lit up. “I’m going to take all of my dog buddies with me!” he exclaimed. “And I’ll bark when I walk!” chimed in his classmate, Michaela, age five.

Materials

* White and brown faux fur (sold in packages at discount stores or by the yard at fabric stores)
* Scissors
* White hooded sweatshirt
* Double-sided carpet tape
* Safety pins
* White tights and fiberfill
* Velcro Sticky-Back strips
* Red belt webbing or ribbon, 19 inches long
* Cardboard circle, 2 1/2 inches wide
* Aluminum foil
* Hole punch
* Embroidery or dental floss
* Cardboard box
* Utility knife
* Two 45-inch lengths of rope
* Masking tape
* Newspaper strips
* Pipe cleaners
* Stuffed dogs

Instructions

The Dog Sweatshirt:
Cut a large piece of faux fur for a chest patch and several smaller patches for the arms, back, and hood. Attach them to the sweatshirt with double-sided carpet tape.

For dog ears, cut long rounded fur shapes and safety-pin them to the hood as shown (A).

The Tail:
Cut off one leg from the tights and loosely stuff it with fiberfill. Safety-pin the open end to the back of the sweatshirt. Cut a few more patches of fur and tape them to the tail.

A Dog Collar:

Attach Velcro strips to the ends of the belt webbing or ribbon. For a tag, wrap the cardboard circle in aluminum foil, punch a hole through it, and loop a piece of floss through the hole. Safety-pin the loop to the inside of the collar.

Pick of the Litter:
Select a box that your child will easily fit into and still be able to walk comfortably in. With the utility knife, cut the box where indicated (B).

Poke holes through the box for the rope suspenders and attach the rope, as shown. You may have to adjust the lengths to fit your child. Masking-tape newspaper strips around the top of the box as shown (C).

Finally, use pipe cleaners to attach the stuffed dogs to the box and each other, as needed.


Bag of Gross-eeries

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3. With This Ring I Thee Wed: Marriage an Alternative Viewpoint

With this ring I thee wed… and now I expect…

To never have to do the dishes again

To never need to cook a meal again

To have my meal given to me when I come in, regardless of time and yes I will complain if it isn’t ready or is ruined

To allow the pets to lick clean the plates I can’t be bothered to move off the floor

To let mould grow in my old coffee mugs

To leave my laundry around the house and have you clear it up

To not have to figure out how the washing machine works


To not have to learn how to use an iron

To expect you to have a full time job and do all the housework

To not have to tidy up – that’s YOUR job

To not have to lift a finger around the house – unless I want to

To go out with my mates on a drinking binge and not tell you when I am coming home

To forget birthdays and anniversaries

To think a bunch of garage flowers is a sufficient apology

To spend ages talking about how great my car is and not notice your new hairdo or clothes

To think “facebooking” is a good way to communicate with you

To have a better relationship with my computer and blackberry than you

To know more about my online buddies than you

To expect hugs, cuddles and *** when I want it

To expect you to look after the kids and deal with discipline

To sit in my underpants all weekend if I want to

To spread out across the bed and have all the duvet if I want

To snore all night and refuse to use the spare room

To stay in bed for as long as I want

To drink beer in front of the TV and watch sports

To fart in bed, heck to fart anywhere!

To let myself go – I don’t need the gym body any more

Well heck darlin’ what do you expect??? I married ya didn’t I…!

Yes my darling you did but after all that… here’s the number of my divorce lawyer!

Image via Wikipedia

 

Image via Wikipedia

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