How to use this Page

I presented at a Young Authors Conference yesterday and worked with 4th and 5th graders all day at Anoka Ramsey Community College in Minnesota. What a great group! After some brainstorming and group writing, the kids wrote individual poems (cinquains) from the point of view of either a castle or the Loch Ness Monster. 

The theme of the conference was writing as a passport to other worlds, and it was cool to talk with kids and read their work and see how, with a little prompting and brainstorming, they could really imagine being something else! They had their choice of writing from the point of view of the castle (which we also did as a group poem) or of the Loch Ness Monster.

Here are some of the poems. I debated whether or not to correct spelling. On the one hand, I didn't want to ruin the integrity of their work. On the other hand, the kids wrote these poems in literally 7 minutes. They had no resources with which to check spelling. So I did correct simple misspellings, but I didn't change anything else...capitalization, punctuation, etc. 




The Loch Ness Monster Poems

Loch Ness Monster

blurry
very scaly
super duper cold
very very fast in swimming
alone

Jackie, 5th grade


Underwater Secrets

I see
Giant fish snacks,
boats among gentle waves,
I see they are trying to find
the truth.

Andrew D., 5th grade 



Loch Ness

I see
Boats all around
I need to get out, now
I'm surrounded, people looking
I'm scared!

Joey S., 5th grade



I live
in a cold sea
people are scared of me
the water is cold and scary
scary

Alyssa M., 5th grade



Scary
People looking
All just for me to find
hoping no one just saw me peek
nervous

Alex L.



Hidden from All of Scotland

The loch
Unclear water
One million years hiding
Make you think I am really fake
I'm here!

Lauren M.



Loch Ness

I see
sand everywhere
fish floating on the water
people looking all over for me
Help me!

Emma S., 4th grade



WATER mist

I feel
moss, the currents, dust
I am scared, blood boats help
thoughts running wild quick hurry
I'm gone

Shannon F., 4th grade



Loch Ness

I feel
like what I am
when I am seeing them
floating on a boat looking
for me

Keely W., 4th grade



Loch Ness

I see
people in boats,
on top of the water,
I feel their eyes looking for me.
nervous

Kacy I., 4th grade



People
hunting me down
I trick them then I laugh
They try to find me but they can't
Ha! Ha!

Angie F., 4th grade



A Loch Ness Monster

I watch
the boats go by
going slowly past me
I'm gentle but they think I'm not...
I am

Briana C., 5th grade  



Loch Ness Monster

Fighting
I see fighting
Blood & dust & weapons
I hide in the depths of my loch
Watching

Alexandra R., 5th grade



Loch Ness Monster

I see
boats with people
in them looking for me
I am in very cold water
Oh NO!

Yaroslav M.



Loch Ness Monster

Scared, cold
I feel slimy
fish soaring above me
People do not think I exist
they're wrong

Dana N., 4th grade



I See What You Don't

You see
Nothing is here
I see much more than you
Animals, Creatures, People too
Tired

Cici, 5th grade



Believing Me

I'm scared
people looking
at me not even blinking
amazed that they are seeing me
frightened

Lacy L., 4th grade



Beneath
the water where
I swim as fast as boats
Tingling water on my back
So fast

Tayler L., 5th grade



My Loch Ness Story

No friends.
So cold, so scared.
People say I'm fake.
Some say I'm real. Fish are scared,
I'm scared.

Samantha H.



Mystery

Thrashing
tight as can be
moving through the water
gliding throughout the cold lake
swimming

Alexandra N., 4th grade



Loch Ness

Loch Ness.
I am scaly.
I live in violent Scotland.
I am very mad at all the boats
passing.

Aunaca, 4th grade



Through the Eyes of the Loch Ness Monster

My view
searched for too much
always ducking under boats
getting tired of being searched
please stop

Justin B., 5th grade



No Peace

Loch Ness
is where I live.
None can ever find peace.
boats look for me but always fail
and leave

Calleigh S., 4th grade



The Myth

I'm the Loch Ness Monster, 
And I get very mad.
When people are watching
for me, they get sad.
Because they never see
me, not one little bit. What
they thought was the Loch Ness
Monstery myth.

Kaeli A., 4th grade (Kaeli asked if she had to write a cinquain. Nope!)


The Castle Poem

Fighting

I see
rotting bodies,
weapons being in use,
moss growing on the long black walls
Help Me!

Brandi B.R., 5th grade


All you kids I met yesterday, these are terrific! I had so much fun reading them. Thank you all for sharing them. 
 

Hi! Thank you for your attention and participation and enthusiasm yesterday. You guys rocked! I had so much fun writing poetry with you, and I hope you did, too.

Here are the three group poems we wrote yesterday. For anybody reading this who wasn't there, we worked on cinquains that were first-person from the point of view of a castle under attack (I tied in my recent trip to Scotland). These poems were written quickly in a group!


Session 1


I see
weapons clashing,
men running everywhere,
the blood of vicious soldiers

No peace




Session 3

Fighting

I see
rotting bodies
hurt or tortured people
dust in the sky or on the ground--
help me



Session 4

Attack

I hear
people charging
Tension hangs in the air
Charging, galloping, and screaming,
they fight