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By: Cheryl Rainfield,
on 5/6/2011
Reasons Not To Hurt Yourself
by Cheryl Rainfield
By Cheryl Rainfield, author of SCARS
Drawing by Cheryl Rainfield, part of the Love Yourself affirmation cards
By: Cheryl Rainfield,
on 3/8/2011
I offer free bookmarks for Scars with tips on how to deal with self-harm; if you want some, just email me your snail mail address. You can also access the tips at my site. (You can also request a free signed bookplate.)
Jennifer Wharton, a youth services librarian at Matheson Memorial Library, had a fantastic idea on how to use the bookmarks. She told me that she’s going to put one bookmark into every copy of Scars that’s returned to the library. That means, when the copies get checked out again, that the library patron will have a bookmark with tips on how to deal with self-harm, right there in front of them. I love it!
You might also consider giving a bookmark (or all three) to someone you know who’s dealing with self-harm, or who works with people who deal with self-harm.
There are three individual bookmarks–Helpful Responses to Someone Who’s Self-Harmed; Alternatives to Self-Harm; and How To Stop Self-Harming.
Know another way to use the bookmarks? Let me know.
By: Cheryl Rainfield,
on 3/1/2011
I’m glad the day exists, though I wonder how many people know about it. Self-harm is something that not a lot of people talk about, and when they do, there’s often shame. People often respond to self-harm with anger, blame, disgust, attempts at control…or they just don’t know what to do.
There are a few things I think it’s really important to know:
More people are becoming aware of self-harm, and more people are responding in ways that help–but there are so many teens using self-harm that feel like they’re the only one, feel like no one understands them. I’ve received so many reader letters telling me that. So if you know someone who’s used self-harm–or even if you don’t–I hope you’ll take a minute or two to read some tips on self-harm, and perhaps be better prepared when you come across it. And for those of you who have used self-harm–I hope you know, and can take in, that you don’t deserve to be hurt–not ever, not by anyone–not even yourself! I also hope you’ll find ways to treat yourself with the same love and compassion that you would a friend. It’s hard, it takes time–but it’s worth it. You are!
Check out my tips on self-harm:
Helpful Responses to Someone Who’s Used Self-Harm
How To Stop Self-Harming
Alternatives To Self-Harm
and my detailed article What To Do When You Feel Like Hurting Yourself
Another *fantastic* resource on understanding self-harm is Secret Shame. It is the first site I send anyone, and one of the best-written sites with the greatest (in my opinion) understanding of self-harm, its causes and effects.
If you’re looking for a more detailed insider view of self-harm, you might consider picking up my book Scars.
By: Cheryl Rainfield,
on 11/6/2010
Here’s a teen recommending books & movies about self-injury & eating disorders via YouTube–and she included SCARS! (beaming)
By: Cheryl Rainfield,
on 9/21/2010
My interview on Fox 25 Morning News in Boston today was such a lovely, positive experience! Kim Carrigan, the interviewer, was so friendly, professional, and kind with me, and asked wonderful questions. And Michele Lazcano, the producer, who greeted Julie Schoerke (my book publicist) and me at the door, was also so welcoming, down-to-earth, and friendly; I felt put at ease and greatly welcomed by both women. It was a wonderful, wonderful experience!
Check out the interview below:
It sounds and looks like you are living in a perfect world. Mine is not I am happy for u
Tom, you sound angry? Of course I don’t live in a perfect world. I am an incest and ritual abuse survivor. I often go through memories and a lot of pain. And sometimes I still want to cut. But I know that it hurts me, and I try to find other ways of coping. What I wrote came from my heart, and from healing. If it doesn’t work for you, I’m sorry, and I hope you’ll find other things that help you.
This is a beautiful list, Cheryl. I’m going to bookmark it for the next time I’m in that situation. Hopefully it won’t be too soon, but this list certainly helps.
Tom, you sound like you are in a lot of pain. I’ve been there before and, no doubt, I’ll be there again. I find listening to Eckhart Tolle read his book A New Earth helps calm me and stop me from piling on the unhappiness. Being unhappy about being in pain, etc. He helps people just be in the moment, accept it, and move on.
Christine Rose recently posted..Should You Wait for New York
Christine, thank you so much! (hugging you) I so appreciate your taking the time to tell me, and I’m so glad you found it beautiful and helpful. I know I’m going to turn to the list, too, next time I get the urge.
And Tom, I should have seen pain beneath the anger. I think Christine’s suggestions are really good. I also find that it helps a ton to be heard by someone, and to get a hug from a safe person….
I self harm. I am thankful people like you are posting things like this. I feel that you reached me with this post.
Oh, Lisa, I’m so glad my post reached you! Thank you for telling me. (hugging you) And I’m so sorry for your pain, that you need to self-harm. (I understand; I used to self-harm, too.) I hope so much that you find a way to keep yourself safe and not hurt yourself any more. I know it’s hard, though. But you don’t deserve to be hurt.