SCENES FROM REAL LIFE
A SHORT PLAYETTE: THE COFFEE CUP
SCENE: WELL-KNOWN COFFEE SHOP/CHAIN. MAN RETURNS WITH TWO MUGS, ONE FILLED WITH COFFEE AND THE OTHER WITH BOILED WATER FOR TEA
MAN
(placing mug on table)
Here's your boiled water
(woman peers into cup and stares for 5 seconds)
MAN
Aren't you going to drop in your teabag? The water's gonna get cold and you know how you are about the water being boiling hot
WOMAN
I have a problem
MAN
What now? Is the water not hot enough?
WOMAN
The water is dirty
MAN
You're kidding!
WOMAN
No - really! Look inside. There are black thingies floating around
(man lifts mug and peers inside)
WOMAN
...and the rim of the mug is dirty. Who do they use to wash their dishes? A cat's tongue?
MAN
You're right - there are thingies floating around. You go bring it to their attention. It's your water
(there is a small line-up of people waiting to be served. Woman waits at end of line holding mug of water. Woman in front turns around looks at mug and then at woman)
WOMAN
Dirty water
CUSTOMER
Oh...too bad...
WOMAN
Look - thingies floating inside
CUSTOMER
(peering into mug)
Yup - I see them, too. Look - why don't you move in front of me. You should be first since you were already served
WOMAN
Thank you. It's just so...blechy to get a dirty mug.
CUSTOMER
Why don't you ask them for a paper cup?
WOMAN
That's okay for coffee but for tea, one must have a china mug
CUSTOMER
It's your turn now...
WOMAN
(to person serving coffee)
The water has thingies floating in it and the mug is dirty. Check it for yourself.
CUSTOMER
She's right. Check it out! Really - you guys should wash your cups better
(SERVER TAKES MUG FROM WOMAN, LOOKS INSIDE, THROWS HER A DIRTY LOOK, EMPTIES WATER AND RE-FILLS MUG. WOMAN TAKES IT FROM SERVER AND CHECKS WATER AND MUG)
WOMAN
This looks okay
SERVER
Dishwasher is broken
WOMAN
Then don't use real china mugs! I mean, really... If you had told me in advance, I would have settled for coffee today and used paper.
SERVER
Of course. You're right. I should have known better... If your water is clear now, there are a lot of people waiting to be served
WOMAN
(turning to people in line)
'Their dishwasher is broken! Stick to paper cups!'
WOMAN
(aside to server)
Have a great day. Tea in paper cups - what next...
A SHORT PLAYETTE: THE COFFEE CUP
SCENE: WELL-KNOWN COFFEE SHOP/CHAIN. MAN RETURNS WITH TWO MUGS, ONE FILLED WITH COFFEE AND THE OTHER WITH BOILED WATER FOR TEA
MAN
(placing mug on table)
Here's your boiled water
(woman peers into cup and stares for 5 seconds)
MAN
Aren't you going to drop in your teabag? The water's gonna get cold and you know how you are about the water being boiling hot
WOMAN
I have a problem
MAN
What now? Is the water not hot enough?
WOMAN
The water is dirty
MAN
You're kidding!
WOMAN
No - really! Look inside. There are black thingies floating around
(man lifts mug and peers inside)
WOMAN
...and the rim of the mug is dirty. Who do they use to wash their dishes? A cat's tongue?
MAN
You're right - there are thingies floating around. You go bring it to their attention. It's your water
(there is a small line-up of people waiting to be served. Woman waits at end of line holding mug of water. Woman in front turns around looks at mug and then at woman)
WOMAN
Dirty water
CUSTOMER
Oh...too bad...
WOMAN
Look - thingies floating inside
CUSTOMER
(peering into mug)
Yup - I see them, too. Look - why don't you move in front of me. You should be first since you were already served
WOMAN
Thank you. It's just so...blechy to get a dirty mug.
CUSTOMER
Why don't you ask them for a paper cup?
WOMAN
That's okay for coffee but for tea, one must have a china mug
CUSTOMER
It's your turn now...
WOMAN
(to person serving coffee)
The water has thingies floating in it and the mug is dirty. Check it for yourself.
CUSTOMER
She's right. Check it out! Really - you guys should wash your cups better
(SERVER TAKES MUG FROM WOMAN, LOOKS INSIDE, THROWS HER A DIRTY LOOK, EMPTIES WATER AND RE-FILLS MUG. WOMAN TAKES IT FROM SERVER AND CHECKS WATER AND MUG)
WOMAN
This looks okay
SERVER
Dishwasher is broken
WOMAN
Then don't use real china mugs! I mean, really... If you had told me in advance, I would have settled for coffee today and used paper.
SERVER
Of course. You're right. I should have known better... If your water is clear now, there are a lot of people waiting to be served
WOMAN
(turning to people in line)
'Their dishwasher is broken! Stick to paper cups!'
WOMAN
(aside to server)
Have a great day. Tea in paper cups - what next...
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