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I’ve seen some posts lately about YA authors and/or their supporters flipping out on reviewers online. It makes me curl my toes up. It’s just…not professional, you know? But it’s also not feel-good. It can bring a negative feeling for others watching the author flip out, especially if they’re mean or ill-behaved or rude.

I get hurt feelings over reviews. I SO get it. We bare our souls, we put SO much of ourselves into our books, and to have someone not like our books can feel like they don’t like us. And that hurts. Or to have someone really, *really* not get something that seems so basic or true to us can feel really hard. But that’s when you go rant privately to your friends, or write a letter and burn it, or go eat a piece of chocolate, have a cry, or immerse yourself into one of your favorite feel-good books that always makes things better. You don’t, if you can help it, flip out on the reviewer. We all have books that just don’t work for us, and what is good writing is always, always subjective any way.

I just read a post by Beth Revis on how to deal with negative reviews, and I gotta say–I LOVE it. (She was already one of my favorite authors just for the quality of her books, but this post nudged her up a bit.) She reminds us that there are people out there who hate chocolate, and puppies, and things that most of us would love–AND there are people who hate your very favorite books (she tells you how to get proof) and so, if they hate those things, then of course there are people who hate your books. But there are also people who love them!

She says it much better than me, so go on over and check out her post.

What do you think? How do you deal with negative reviews? (Or with rejection, if you don’t have a book out.)

This past Saturday, I was out with some “creative types” — some of us writers — and we were talking about negative criticism and how we should NOT take it personally. We all agreed that we should get a “tough skin” and just let the comments roll off our back. Blah, blah, blah.

But then a writer friend spoke up: “Why do we always say this when it comes to negative stuff? What about the positive stuff? Should we not listen to that? Ignore it too?”

We all agreed that the positive stuff does makes us feel good. It lets us know that maybe we’re on the right track. And it’s just so much easier to absorb than the negative stuff.

Then an artist friend said: “Maybe I’m just narcissistic then because how can I not take negative comments on something that I’ve worked on for years and not take it personally? It’s from me. I created it.”

We all pondered this question. Even though everyone says that negative comments should not be taken to heart, do we really take them personally anyway? Deep down into the subconscious and internalize them?

Maybe.

Another writer friend spoke up: “It doesn’t matter. We can take everything personally if we want. But we have to remember that the comments are coming from a source that has different experiences, views, and opinions. In the end, you have to create what you want and then put it out in the world. Let it resonate with the ones who love it and let it repel with the ones who hate it.”

I like this writer’s take on it. Not everyone is going to love your work. More than likely, it’ll be a few people who hate it. And those haters may write about it or even tell you. But lovers and haters of your work can be two extremes. In the end, you just have to put your novel out into the world.

So writer friends, do you take comments about your novel or WIP personally? Or do you only focus on what you want for you work?