I promise I have real book-related posts coming. I even have them half-written! It’s just, I’m in finals, and thinking a even little bit systematically about anything — even breezy teen romances — is a bit much for me. Thus, we have instead: this clip from one of my ongoing Self-Improvement Projects: Learning to Drive.
ELIZABETH: I am a driving machine! I handle motor vehicles with aplomb!
BOYFRIEND: You need to work on staying in your lane.
ELIZABETH: I move wheel, car obeys! I am its master!
BOYFRIEND: Did you see that stop sign there?
ELIZABETH: Whoa, why is that car coming toward me? Does it not grasp that I control the road?!
BOYFRIEND: Yes, the other cars are why you need to stay in your lane.
ELIZABETH: …Why are there FOOLS standing in the ROAD?
BOYFRIEND: You’re not going to hit them.
ELIZABETH: Don’t they care that they are PLAYING WITH THEIR LIVES?
BOYFRIEND: Please be less outraged by fools, more attentive to location of car.
ELIZABETH: FOOLS, GET OUT OF THE ROAD!
BOYFRIEND: …
ELIZABETH: Hey, that fool is my professor!
[Wild waving ensues. Unclear whether near-victim realized the precariousness of his own survival.]
BOYFRIEND: I think this is enough practice for today.
Hilarious.
Have you learned the fun of following the natural path through a curve, rather than staying within the lane markings?
It’s soo much fun when you first discover it on a winding highway with no other traffic.
It is not however recommended to be done with other traffic around, or hidden highway police interceptors lurking about.
Neat blog by the way.
You should have quoted Rain Man at him. “I’m an excellent driver.”
oh wow.
a) I’m glad he’s teaching you and not me. Nerves of steel, he must have.
b) As I love you both, please do learn to stay in your lane.
I don’t mind the break from books at all. This had me cracking up!
Thanks for the support, y’all. I’m glad that the evident gaps in my creeping adulthood can provide fodder for amusement.
Josh’s suggestion may be too advanced for me. I’m still working on distinguishing brake from accelerator. Also, I was followed home by a cop, which was highly unnerving, but I think cop was mostly pissed that I was obeying the speed limit because cop wanted to go faster to lunch-containing destination.
I’m doubly glad that no one was harmed during my time on the road yesterday, because the Director of Graduate Studies has now informed me that killing a faculty member, even accidentally, would create a lot of obstacles to my successful completion of our graduate program. Of course, he was talking specifically of faculty in our department. Not sure of the department’s stance on mowing down political scientists.
Oh my gosh. I fell off my chair laughing. Seriously wasn’t expecting that. I especially loved the frantic wave at the professor. Totally something I would do.