Last post of the "old year," which I'll hopefully finish by midnight! Another meme!!
Last November, Julie tagged me to reveal 7 Random/Weird Things About Myself!
I was quite pleased to be tagged for this. It was similar enough to the “Six Weird Things” meme that I immediately felt entitled to change the rules to what I really wanted to post: 7 random/weird things about Damon.
(Yay!! And I look forward to tagging you guys and hearing about your significant others, too!)
Man, I could do this in my sleep.
1. Damon won’t throw away dead pens, because he doesn’t want to add to the landfill.
He puts them in his desk. What is more, he doesn’t want me to throw dead pens away, either. “Just keep them in your purse!” he pleads, closing my hand over the offending utensil.
So I put mine in his desk, too. (But secretly, now and then, I toss a few out.)
2. Damon can tell all the Backstreet Boys apart by voice.
I don't even know how many there are, nor their names. This in spite of the fact I agree with Damon that the Backstreet Boys are the only boy band of the last couple decades to 1) sing good songs, and 2) actually sing. Their songs are a big hit with us at karaoke.
(Yes, Damon was once in a boy band himself. That would explain his ability to discern their voices somewhat, but it still cracks me up.)
Says Damon, "A.J. has the best male pop vocalist voice I have ever heard."
3. Damon cherishes generic presents.
This is a deeply endearing quality, and it’s also convenient, because I never know what to get him. With Damon, the thought really counts. I've seen him linger over clothes we were trying to give away, saying, “My aunt gave me this green sweater!” Not to cast aspersions on the sweater or the aunt—both of which were/are of excellent quality—but I just don’t think that sweater meant the same to the aunt as it came to mean to Damon.
4. Damon has perfect vision. Uncorrected.
‘Nuff said.
(His whole family had perfect vision! I was scared to marry in; the gene pool seemed too pure. Now D’s sister has light glasses, which still hardly counts.)
5. Damon started dressing better after watching Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.
Okay, this isn’t weird or even that “random,” as I’m sure that show had a similar effect on straight men all across the nation. I just wanted to point it out, because I’d been trying to get D to moisturize for years (oh, yeah, he started moisturizing, too), but it wasn’t me that convinced him . . .
6. Damon's personality is well-suited to working at a major law firm.
Well, I think that’s weird. None of the rest of my friends could stand it, but D's just everybody’s favorite shiny penny. He plays basketball in the weekly firm-league games. He gets along with whatever different factions exist in an office. Not only that, but Damon recognizes and totally embraces the absurd art that is elevator conversation—when you’ve only got a minute so can't say anything significant. For example, Damon thinks it's hilarious that you can get endless mileage out of the Days of the Week.
“Monday . . .”
(“Yyyep!”)
“I can’t believe it’s only Tuesday.”
(“Tell me about it.”)
“Wednesday ‘hump’ day . . . !”
“Almost to Friday!”
And, of course:
“T.G.I.F.!”
Most of us, once we’ve recognized the inane nature of this setup, would resolve not to engage. Damon thinks it’s hilarious. Not only that, he’s gotten his coworkers to think it’s hilarious, too. Sometimes they make a game out of it—a special code that’s just between them.
“So how’s life been?”
“Oh, you know. Doin' my thing, doin' my thing. Gotta keep on, keepin' on! Rollin' with the punches . . .”
“Everything’s been so, AHHH!” (waves “wacky” hands in the air)
“Things have been slow lately, but I think they’re about to pick up.”
This last category is Damon’s favorite: making random, meaningless predictions. Especially because these have the power to make people feel better.
Then again, maybe this isn’t so weird. The other day, I asked Vicki’s husband Frankie “how’s life been?” and he was all, “Oh, you know. Living the dream.” Just to mix it up. And I liked that! I think I’m going to use that, too.
Sigh.
The point is, Damon was born Teflon against situations that might deaden another man’s soul.
This last one's a gimme, but I know some of you were waiting for it:
7. Damon sees himself as a matchmaker for socks otherwise helpless against their fates.
Actually, when I first unearthed this factoid, it became legend almost overnight: the fact that, when folding laundry, and even when matching a bunch of “identical” white socks that all came from the same bulk purchase, Damon would go to pains to detect whatever wear-and-tear indicators would help him reunite socks with their exact mates, “or else they would be sad.” Socks went through a lot together as pairs, D figured. What's more, if socks were erroneously matched after one cycle but then correctly united after the next, they got happy to see each other again.
Many of our friends reported that after hearing Damon's point of view, they immediately found they could no longer throw their socks together willy nilly after laundry: their awareness of the issue had grown too high. They all began to take pains to match their socks more carefully.
Sorry to disappoint you guys, but I don't think Damon is as careful with this as he used to be. He still keeps an eye out, but I think once he knew you guys had taken up the cause, it was like his work in this arena was done. He has since moved on to new quirks.
Last minute of the old year! I want to hear about all your significant others! I tag:
Julie and Kevin (separately, even though you post to the same blog)
Irvin and AJ
Sara and Tony E
Felisa and Chris
and, and, and!!!
I want to hear about everyone!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Love,
r!
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