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Hi everybody.

Well, this is going to be short because I just realized I'm going to be very busy this week. Very busy SPENDING MONEY.

Also, I'm going to be quitting the writing thing as of today. Yeah. It was a pipe dream and kind of a waste of time if you ask me. Really, who wants to read books about short buses, zombies, magic sandboxes, or even a girl with strength-enhancing body armor?

It was a good try, though. Right?

Oh. I guess I should explain: I won the lottery.

Yeah. I know!

As if that wasn't enough, I won it 3 other times this week. And here's the kicker: I never even bought a single stinking ticket. Also, the lotteries are from Ireland, Great Britain and some other European place. What are the odds of that?

It was like getting a truckload of money just for opening my e-mail. Check it:

The Irish Lottery
11 G Lower Dorset Street
Dublin 1, Ireland.
P O Box 1010.

ATTENTION WINNER
This is to inform you that you have beenselected for a cash prize of £1,350,000(Onemillion, three hundred and fifty thousand,pounds sterling) in cash. Which was held on the28th JANUARY,2008 in Ireland.This are yourlucky numbers:06, 17, 24, 26, 36, 44, Bonus37.The selection process was carried outthrough random selection in Ourcomputerized email selection system (ess) froma database of over 250,000 emailAddresses drawn from which you were selectedas one of the lucky winner.

Contact our fiduciary agent for claims with:
Contact Person:mr.kennethsmith,Email:[email protected]
Tel:+44-7031-944-741

Provide him with the information below:
1.Full Name:
2.Full Address:
3.Marital Status:
4.Occupation:
5.Age:
6.Sex:
7.Nationality:
8.Country Of Residence:
9.Telephone Number:

Sincerely,Sir.kolyn parkins
Online coordinator for THE IRISH LOTTERYSweepstakes

Anyway. I need to get my affairs in order and get all this information to Kolyn Parkins right away. Hmm...wonder why he didn't bother capitalizing his name? No matter!!!

It's been real, Tappers! See you in the emergency room!