How to use this Page

by John Godfrey Saxe

It was six men of Indostan
To learning much inclined,
Who went to see the Elephant
(Though all of them were blind),
That each by observation
Might satisfy his mind.

The First approach'd the Elephant,
And happening to fall
Against his broad and sturdy side,
At once began to bawl:
"God bless me! but the Elephant
Is very like a wall!"

The Second, feeling of the tusk,
Cried, -"Ho! what have we here
So very round and smooth and sharp?
To me 'tis mighty clear
This wonder of an Elephant
Is very like a spear!"

The Third approached the animal,
And happening to take
The squirming trunk within his hands,
Thus boldly up and spake:
"I see," quoth he, "the Elephant
Is very like a snake!"

The Fourth reached out his eager hand,
And felt about the knee.
"What most this wondrous beast is like
Is mighty plain," quoth he,
"'Tis clear enough the Elephant
Is very like a tree!"

The Fifth, who chanced to touch the ear,
Said: "E'en the blindest man
Can tell what this resembles most;
Deny the fact who can,
This marvel of an Elephant
Is very like a fan!"

The Sixth no sooner had begun
About the beast to grope,
Then, seizing on the swinging tail
That fell within his scope,
"I see," quoth he, "the Elephant
Is very like a rope!"

And so these men of Indostan
Disputed loud and long,
Each in his own opinion
Exceeding stiff and strong,
Though each was partly in the right,
And all were in the wrong!

MORAL.

So oft in theologic wars,
The disputants, I ween,
Rail on in utter ignorance
Of what each other mean,
And prate about an Elephant
Not one of them has seen!

I thought it was common knowledge that cowboys only wear Wrangler jeans.

Apparently the NYT only just got the memo last week.

Still, their survey of the history of Wrangler jeans is interesting; I still find it amazing that a garment that was once both ulitatarian and low-class has now become a uniform. I was recently in downtown Chicago, and I stood on a street counter and counted the number of people who walked crossed the street during the green light NOT wearing jeans. Of about forty people, the non-jeans tally was three.

I hate jeans, and I never wear them. There are no jeans in Califa, because it's my made-up world and I hate jeans. I'd rather wear a corset than wear jeans--a corset is more comfortable. I understand that if you are driving cattle, or riding bulls that jeans probably offer the best comfort and protection. But I am not driving cattle, nor riding bulls, nor are most of the people I see wearing jeans. I think for jeans to look good they require a certain type of figure--the male figure. Girls who are built like men (or twelve year old boys) look fine in jeans. A woman not built like a man (or a twelve year old boy) looks terrible in jeans. Ladies, invest in a nice linen skirt and throw off your denim shackles! Unless, of course, you are driving cattle or riding bulls, in which case I say: by all means, wear jeans. Just make sure you cowboy up and wear Wranglers.

(Also--please don't tuck your jeans into your boots. Where I come from that's a hanging offense.)