How to use this Page

There are certain triggers for Cassie that let her know that someone is soon going to be leaving the house. My husband puts on his belt or his shoes. I swap out sweat pants for jeans or use the blow dryer on my hair. Any one of those things sets her off whining and pacing and jumping up and down with no thought of respectability or former training. Someone is going someplace and she doesn't want to be left behind.

Most of the time, if the two of us are going somewhere, she goes with us. But by the time we've done the blow dryer/jeans/belt/shoes routine she has worked herself up into such a frenzy that it is no longer about being with us but about being in the white heat of the moment. It's not good for her. She never calms down even after we're in the car. She just keeps up that constant high pitched bark that I translate into "Please don't leave me behind. Please let me come along. Please. Please. Please. I'll be your best friend." By the end of the trip, whether to the parents for dinner and a playdate with her cousin Circe or a longer drive to the beach, she's exhausted in the way that a new baby is when you've had to let her cry herself to sleep.

I've seen this happen with writers sometimes. They act before they really think about what they are doing. They don't read or follow guidelines for agents or editors. They decide to write a book in a genre that is hot at the moment even though they don't feel passionate about that genre. They don't read in their chosen area. They badmouth agents, publishers, reviewers in open forums online, forgetting the fact that the Internet is the world's largest elephant and it never, ever forgets. They are so excited to be a part of this wonderful crazy business that they are jumping up and down and getting in everyone's faces without thinking about what that might look like from the other side.

No, I don't have a particular incident or person in mind as I write this. I was just cleaning out some files and came across a note that I had taped to my computer monitor back when I was running a 2400 baud modem (in other words, a long time ago.) The note said simply that you needed to act like a professional long before you are published.

I've started working with Cassie to diffuse her triggers. I might change into jeans and then go sit back at the computer for half an hour. Move the blow dryer into another room and use it but go nowhere. When she realizes no one is picking up their keys she settles back down again. After she's calm, we can leave and it is usually a much more pleasant experience for us all.

The children's publishing world is a small one. People move around all the time. Writers become editors and editors become agents and you never know who you will meet that will help you grow. Editors and agents are interacting with authors on Twitter and Facebook, blurring the lines between work and after hours fun. Think before you dash off that smart-aleck response to someone but at the same time, don't be afraid to interact. I know, it sounds like a slippery slope but you can mange it if you just slow down and think before you act.

Put that enthusiasm into your writing and let your work speak for yourself.

During the week my time to work in the garden is governed by how many times Cassie rings the bells to go outside. When the water starts to drip in the bird bath we must go out so she can inspect the area and then retire to her hill to watch as the birds flock to the water. Several times a day we need to go out so she can nose along the coyote mint, nuzzling the bees as the scoot from flower to flower. How it is that she hasn't gotten stung yet is anyone's guess. When bugs skitter along on the ground she follows them, eyes on the prize so fiercely that she often trips over things in her path because she is watching the bug instead of where she is going. Of late she is fascinated with our resident Charlotte, the garden spider who has set up camp in the water feature area and can often be found waiting in her web which is just in line with Cassie's nose. Luckily the "leave it" command seems to be working and Cassie only pauses to say hello to Charlotte before moving on.

In the mornings I am frustrated by her constant need, every hour, to go outside for something or another. I am grumpy, still waking up, and trying to get to work. But as the day goes on I find myself adapting to her rhythm. While she investigates the bugs I pull a weed or two, repot a plant or move some rocks. When she is tired we go back inside and I can go back to work for a little while.

Today I was pulling up some lovely Yarrow to divide and put into pots to grow until fall. As I separated the plants Cassie came over to check out what I was doing. I held the damp roots toward her nose and she sniffed them all around then slowly sniffed the length of the plant and back down again. She sat down and stared at me and I wasn't quite sure what she wanted. I went back to teasing the roots apart into individual plants. As soon as I pulled another one apart she began the sniffing process again. By the third time I was also looking closely at the plant, wondering if someone had sprinkled liver or some other doggie delicacy around the leaves. Of course I found nothing.

I laughed at my silly dog doing what we call the Cassie inspection and quickly finished up the potting so we could go  back inside.

I'm taking a writing class right now, one of those look closely at your work, tear it apart so you can rebuild it stronger than before kind of classes. This is a very good thing for me.

When I got the first assignments I read them over several times and couldn't wrap my brain around what needed to be done. I wanted to pull open my story, go right to work, turn in the assignment, collect my pats on the back and move on.

But I couldn't do it because I couldn't get it and I couldn't get it because I wasn't taking the time to look closely at what needed to be done. It's not that I thought the story was already perfect. Far from it. It's that I wasn't willing to look at it word by word, as closely as Cassie sniffs those plants when she does her inspections.

I've always said I was a seat-of-the-pants kind of writer. An intuitive writer. I didn't know what I did or why I did it but I knew what needed to be done. Or so I thought. Now I wonder if I was just getting by or just plain lucky.

Today I opened the assignment and tore it apart, sentence by sentence, until I began to finally see how I could apply it to my work. At first it felt forced but as the day wore on I began to feel little light bulbs clicking on. By the time I had done a couple of the assignments I could see how the few changes would strengthen and deepen the story.

Writing a first draft in fast, hot heat is a good thing. It lets you get the story down while the emotion is hot. But the next draft, that's where you need to slow down and reflect word by word, motivation by motivation, until you get to the heart of what it is you are trying to say.

Sunday marked one year since we brought Cassie home from the German Shepherd Rescue group. A lot has changed in our girl in that year. A lot has changed in us. When she came to us, Cassie was a shy, not quite nervous but very tentative dog. Her ears were close to her head a lot as though she wasn't sure if something bad was going to happen to her or not. Her mouth was usually closed, no happy smiling doggy face. She jumped up so high and so hard when you came in the door that it's a wonder she didn't break someone's nose and she always had something to say. She had pretty bad separation anxiety and when my husband would leave the house she would make herself crazy running up and down the stairs and in and out of the house looking for him. For a long time she just wanted to be in the room with us, not necessarily being touched by us. So we let her. She didn't know what to do with toys so we bought all kinds of them and let her experiment and pick out her favorites. Some she goes back to every so often. Some never captured her attention. And some, like the egg babies, she plays with every day.

She didn't know much when we got her. She was young and a stray but I don't think anyone spent much time with her during that important bonding time. But in the last year she has learned the basic commands like sit, stay, wait and sometimes, come. She's learned how to ring the bells to go outside and to ring the outside bells when she wants to come back in. She's learned a lot of tricks like waving bye-bye, shaking hands, spinning, rolling over, find it, tell me a secret, and my favorite, peek-a-boo.

She's come a long way baby.

None of these changes in Cassie happened to overnight. They took time. They took patience. And some of them took a large amount of "do overs."

It's been 9 months since I was laid off from the day job. I've been up and down. Twelve different kinds of nervous wondering if I could "make it" as a full-time writer. Make it is hard to define but for me it means not having to go back into the cubicle.

Because I was worried about all sorts of things I've spent the last 9 months focusing on doing as much freelance work as I could, wanting to prove that I could do what needed doing. The last few months have been hard, filled with a lot of work, a lot of deadlines, not much time for fiction, and no small amount of stress. I was whining a lot.

As I sat here tonight looking at my beautiful dog I realized how very much my life has been enriched in just this first year with her. I've learned patience as I've worked to get her to bond with me. I've learned how to laugh more because of her silly antics and funny noises. I learn love teaching her new tricks. I love watching her get brave in new situations. I love seeing her happy face staring back at me because she is just so happy to be here, now, living this wonderful life she is living.

And I started thinking about all I had done in the last 9 months. Designed and installed our wildlife garden. Taught social networking for authors in a variety of places both online and in person. Wrote a bunch of articles and a ton of WFH projects. Did a haiku a day for the month of April. And wrote a goodly number of new pages on Flyboy and Plant Kid. Nothing to sneeze at as long as I don't fall into the trap of comparing myself to other writers who live different lives than mine.

I've come a long way too. I just needed to slow down long enough to recognize it.

When was the last time you stopped and really took stock of how much you have already accomplished in your writing? We spend a lot of time talking about goals and how we are always reaching for that elusive dream on down the road. I suggest you take a few minutes to just stop and turn around. You don't have to let go of reaching for that goal but maybe you ought to take a good look at just how far you've already come.

Read the rest of the posts in the Of Dogs and Writings Series

Cassie is in charge of supervising our work in the yard. We were out there all day today. She disppeared toward the end of the day, finally giving in to take a nap.

I posted this in FB and Twitter updates but not here. A few weeks ago we found a hard bump on Cassie's side. It wasn't irritated and she wasn't bothering it so we decided to do the wait and see. Suddenly they were popping up all over. Very hard, not movable as one would think of a typical cyst. She has several on her side, two on her nose that popped up overnight and one on her leg.

We just got back from the vet. The vet, who has many years experience, said she hadn't seen anything like these bumps. First she thought it might be a reaction to something though we can't figure out what. I asked if she could suddenly be developing a problem with peanut butter which she gets in bones/kongs/etc and she shrugged and said she wouldn't think so but also anything is possible.

She took a sample from the largest one and said she got some material out that looked like it was a cyst. She's sending out and we'll get the results tomorrow. She'll also do a consult to try and figure out next steps, if we should remove one and inspect it, just watch or what.

More waiting.

On the plus side, it doesn't seem to be slowing Cassie down at all. She pays no attention to them. I'm the one who is a nervous wreck.

On the way home from the vet we stopped at the pet store so she could pick out a new toy and a treat (why yes, she is incredibly spoiled-LOL) and some kids were there looking at guinea pigs. She went up to sniff the guinea pigs but turned away, waiting not-so-patiently until the kids themselves paid attention to her.

Cassie had her evaluation for doggy daycare today. It was at the same place we do our dog training classes. It was a long shot because, as an older rescue dog (as in past the puppy socialization stage) she has issues.

The evals run about an hour long.

Cassie only lasted 15 minutes. Poor baby.

She was great when I handed her over to the evaluator. She was fine, I am told, with the other strange person she met for the first time. People skills, 100% okay.

They brought out the first dog, the marshmallow dog. The dog they say if your dog has issues with it the problem is all with your dog. Cassie had no problems but she also wasn't interested in having anything to do with her.

Then they brought out Blaire. Cassie knows Blaire from class. Cassie and Blaire were co-valedictorians in class. They love to play together so with Blaire, Cassie was fine. They ran and played just great.

Then the brought out the next dog who is a bit of an in-your-face-stand-still-let-me-smell-you kind of brat.

And she had a melt-down.

They tried a couple more dogs but it was way too much for her. There was no way she could handle being out with the pack all day long. The evaluator brought her back out to me so Cassie didn't have any trauma associated with the visit.

I knew it was a long shot, her making it in so quickly. She just doesn't have enough confidence yet. She is MUCH more confident than she was when we brought her home a few months ago. At first she couldn't stand to have us leave the room, she had to follow us everywhere. She also had a "closed mouth" all the time. Now she is happy to watch us as we leave the room and most of the time has an open, happy mouth.

She is fine with other dogs one on one but the group thing, still too much. We're supposed to organize more play dates with multiple dogs but there is no place around here to meet with other dogs. Our yard can't handle it and the dog park is too much for her too.

We're not giving up. Hopefully a few more months or so down the road we can try again.

So because I felt bad, I bought her a tunnel to work with. (and a hula hoop.)



She seems to like it just fine.
 

Cassie has been with us almost 3 weeks now so I thought this edition of the Friday Five should be about her. Or maybe I just wanted to show some pictures of our beautiful little girl. :-) She loves the camera so I have to try and sneak up on her when I want a picture of her doing something cute otherwise she likes to pose.
 

#1     We are still working on separation anxiety. She has super-bonded with my husband which is both nice and sad. It is nice because of course I like to see both him and Cassie happy but it is sad because I want her to bond with me. She loves me, but since he is home with her most all day it is different. When I am home with her and he is gone she whines for a long time and sits in the dining room facing the front door. It is getting better but it is a lot of work on my part to build the relationship. I am the person with the best (translations - stinkiest treats) and I'm the only one who feeds her scraps of meat that she gets to take from my mouth. I do a lot of the play/training with her so hopefully it will all add up. I realize we may have this who thing in reverse when we get a male dog down the road.

When we are both gone she has to go in the crate. This does not make her happy.


She does not like the crate at all. The trainer suggested we set up a video camera to see how long she freaks out when she was in it so we know how serious it is.

#2     Things happen for a reason. Remember all those big piles of dirt and decomposed granite in the backyard? Cassie loves them. She loves to climb to the top and dig in like a pile of sand. She likes to take a stick and lay on the top of the hill. She likes to crane her neck back so she can watch the planes go overhead. So now we are replanning our backyard design so that we can make a hill for Cassie.


For the longest time that was about all she would do outside, run to the hill and sit down. Now she is learning how to play. Outside she likes to gather sicks and run puppy races. When we first brought her home she really didn't know what to do with many of her toys. She liked things that squeaked though so we got this little beehive that has three small bees inside. They all have a different kind of squeak. She has to get them out of the hive. She loves it.


The trainer that we are working with told us that we should add tricks in now, at the same time we are working on obedience, and Cassie is loving it. She isn't 100% consistent yet, but she is getting there on SHAKE, SPIN, and CRAWL. She is also learning to ring the bells hanging on the door to let us know when she wants to go outside.

#3     She does not like the ocean at all. We took her to Aptos to see the ocean and this was as close as she would get and she wasn't happy about that. There were dogs all around her racing into the water but she squirmed away. She does however like her wading pool in the backyard. She won't go IN it but she likes to dive underwater and pick up things on the bottom of the surface. And she likes to remove all the leaves from the pool. We are surmising that someone used a hose to scare her in some way because whenever I water the plants she moves away. We are working on me having the hose on the ground next to me and having her come close for being touched. Tonight I was watering in the courtyard and she actually walked over to me of her own even though water was coming out of the hose. We are constantly amazed at how quickly she is progressing for a rescue dog.

 

#4      She loves meeting new dogs and is wonderful with all of them. She met several new dogs at the beach. She meets new dogs on her daily walks and is great with all of them except for the little yappy dogs, like daschunds, that come toward her. Those she is afraid of which makes us think the probably with the people who adopted her from the pound were the little dogs. Sigh. We were charged by a Beagle, barking and growling and ready to bite and Cassie just sat down and waited.


Her favorite playmate is her cousin Crice, my brother-in-law's three-year-old Shepherd. They love to play chase.

 

#5 She loves going everywhere with us, even out to dinner. We went to Ma Maison in Aptos for dinner and they allow dogs on the patio. They even brought Cassie water in a porcelain bowl, the same kind of dishes we had on our table.
 

 

We just gave her a bully stick and she was happy.


I'd forgotten how much work a puppy was, even an older pup like Cassie. She sleeps all night but gets up way too early, no matter what we do and someone always has to have an eye out for her so I can't ever relax. But I wouldn't train a minute of it.

In the midst of all the crazies going on in my life right now, most especially the waiting at work as the merger goes forward with plans to close toward the end of the month and the layoffs in huge numbers due to come as soon as possible after the merger closes, well, puppy kisses make it all bearable.