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Reasons Not To Hurt Yourself
by Cheryl Rainfield
- Because you do not deserve to be hurt, not by anyone, not even yourself;
Because you deserve the same compassion, kindness, and love that everyone else does, and that you would give to a friend;
Because if you hurt yourself, you are repeating and reinforcing what your abusers or people who put you down told you, and none of that is true;
Because any relief you may get from hurting yourself is only fleeting and will not last, and because you will need to keep hurting yourself more frequently and worse to get that tiny bit of relief, and may end up doing permanent damage or may even inadvertently kill yourself;
Because you have already been through so much pain and do not need more pain added to that;
Because you have a voice and have a right to be heard;
Because you deserve to have compassion for yourself, the way others have it for you;
Because there are safer, gentler ways to find some relief and you deserve to find those ways;
Because even if you do not believe it, hurting yourself will hurt the people who truly love you;
Because you deserve to be treated gently and with love, not with hate;
Because you are not to blame for anything that happened to you as a child;
Because you will hurt your body and your body is not to blame for anything;
Because hurting yourself is abusing yourself, and you do not deserve to be abused;
Because it’s better and kinder to reach out to others and get support, or to find inner resources to rely on, rather than to add to your own hurt and torment;
Because one day you will see the beauty in yourself and know that you should be treated with care;
Because you are lovable and loved, and deserve to be treated with love; and
Because things will get better, and you will find more of what you need.
By Cheryl Rainfield, author of SCARS
Drawing by Cheryl Rainfield, part of the Love Yourself affirmation cards
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It sounds and looks like you are living in a perfect world. Mine is not I am happy for u
Tom, you sound angry? Of course I don’t live in a perfect world. I am an incest and ritual abuse survivor. I often go through memories and a lot of pain. And sometimes I still want to cut. But I know that it hurts me, and I try to find other ways of coping. What I wrote came from my heart, and from healing. If it doesn’t work for you, I’m sorry, and I hope you’ll find other things that help you.
This is a beautiful list, Cheryl. I’m going to bookmark it for the next time I’m in that situation. Hopefully it won’t be too soon, but this list certainly helps.
Tom, you sound like you are in a lot of pain. I’ve been there before and, no doubt, I’ll be there again. I find listening to Eckhart Tolle read his book A New Earth helps calm me and stop me from piling on the unhappiness. Being unhappy about being in pain, etc. He helps people just be in the moment, accept it, and move on.
Christine Rose recently posted..Should You Wait for New York
Christine, thank you so much! (hugging you) I so appreciate your taking the time to tell me, and I’m so glad you found it beautiful and helpful. I know I’m going to turn to the list, too, next time I get the urge.
And Tom, I should have seen pain beneath the anger. I think Christine’s suggestions are really good. I also find that it helps a ton to be heard by someone, and to get a hug from a safe person….
I self harm. I am thankful people like you are posting things like this. I feel that you reached me with this post.
Oh, Lisa, I’m so glad my post reached you! Thank you for telling me. (hugging you) And I’m so sorry for your pain, that you need to self-harm. (I understand; I used to self-harm, too.) I hope so much that you find a way to keep yourself safe and not hurt yourself any more. I know it’s hard, though. But you don’t deserve to be hurt.