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Joan of Arc. Mark Twain. 1895/1896. 452 pages. [Source: Library]
Did I enjoy reading Mark Twain's Joan of Arc? Yes, very much. Though perhaps not quite as much as A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court. But that isn't exactly fair to try to compare the two really; they are very different from one another.
Joan of Arc is narrated by Sieur Louis de Conte in his old age, 82 in the year 1492. He is attempting to tell the behind-the-scenes story of Joan of Arc. This telling begins in their childhood. He grew up with her, and, remained close to her and witnessed (almost) all the "big" events. He was even witness to her trials and served as a secretary or note-taker, I believe.
Is the book a comedy? Far from it. (Though there is that one scene about if a stomach can help in the committing of a crime that is funny. And also some great Paladin scenes. He's one of the companions--soldiers--and he's a STORYTELLER if ever there was.) Though a few asides from "the translator" (aka Mark Twain) do pack a little something. The book is properly a tragic history.
Some of my favorite quotes:
It was not my opinion; I think there is no sense in forming an opinion when there is no evidence to form it on. If you build a person without any bones in him he may look fair enough to the eye, but he will be limber and cannot stand up; and I consider that evidence is the bones of an opinion.
And it is my thought that if one keep to the things he knows, and not trouble about the things which he cannot be sure about, he will have the steadier mind for it--and there is profit in that.
Discretion hasn't anything to do with brains; brains are an obstruction to it, for it does not reason, it feels. Perfect discretion means absence of brains. Discretion is a quality of the heart--solely a quality of the heart; it acts upon us through feeling.
Well, well a good and wholesome thing is a little harmless fun in this world; it tones a body up and keeps him human and prevents him from souring.
© 2016 Becky Laney of
Becky's Book Reviews
When I checked the post on Saturday I saw a familiar A4 white envelope with the address written in my own handwriting. Now usually this means one thing another rejection. Well it was in a way – it was the short story assessment from Writer’s Forum magazine.
The form is broken down into different sections including opening, title, characters, language and ending. Then there is a choice of description that the reader can pick with a score next to it.
For example title: Suited the story – 10, room for improvement 5, and try again 0.
There are also four sections for the reader to add more detailed comments.
Finally there is a page of typed general hints that are not specific to your entry and then a total and explanation as to what the overall scores mean.
My story ‘Ninety nine per cent’ about the space chimp programme scored 150 (out of a maximum out of 230.)
Ham the space chimp
This meant it qualified for second read and there was also a tick next to highly commended (130+) .
The form explains: “After an initial assessment the manuscript is either rejected or passed to another reader for a second opinion. At that stage it is either rejected or short listed for the attention of the editor and publisher.
My story scored better for the early parts but the reader felt it needed a more exciting finish. This seemed a very fair comment to me as I can struggle with the endings of some short stories and I may well take another look at my story.
They also said: “Confident writing, great premise for story, good characters in the chimps, lots of research and accurate detail.”
But they went on to say: “But what is the theme? Too ambiguous for short story,” with some suggestions as to what needed fixing.
Overall I was pleased with the comments and thought they were excellent at showing where improvements could be made.
Writers’ Forum run a writing competition every month in their magazine including the application form – which can also be downloaded from their website at www.writers-forum.com
Entry is £10 (£7 for subscribers) including a critique like mine. It did take a little while for them to reply.
You also need to include biographical details (50 words maximum) and if chosen they will need a photograph of you.
Stories should be between 800 and 3000 words. The Prizes are: £300 1st prize, £150 2nd prize and £100 3rd prize.

Kaliningrad
Area: 5, 792 sq. mi. (15,000 sq. km)
Population: 946,700 (2001 est.)
When quickly scanning a map, geographic separation or isolation might on occasion be mistaken for political independence. Wedged between Lithuania and Poland’s northern border is one such example, a patch of Europe formerly known as East Prussia. (more…)
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