Through experience it has occurred to me that the younger generation is behind the Baby Boomer’s generation when it comes to manners and work ethic. Yes, there are overachievers and drones in every age group as well as those with impeccable manners and those who are greatly lacking in etiquette. But as a children’s book author meeting many children and as a parent of a teenager with friends who come over (clarification - my daughter is grateful, motivated and hard-working and we are not strict), I have noticed that “pleases” and thank-yous” are so rare among other kids that I am totally impressed and grateful when I receive them. There’s something fundamentally wrong with that, isn’t there? If I failed to say thank you or please as a child, my Mom would have lectured me for an hour about manners. And then she would have relectured me the next day. Thank God.

Other observations have to do motivation and work ethic, pure and simple. I have numerous successful friends with kids who have graduated from high school or college and really do not take the initiative to do anything with their lives. No plan, no job, no drive. They are nice kids, but seem to have no ambition, no passion for anything. In Florida there are many teens who do not bother to get their driver’s licenses. Huh, you say? This is not because their parents do not let them or because they do not have a car to use to practice driving. It’s because they are lazy and do not want to bother studying for the test. I cannot think of a single person my age I know who did not get his license the day he turned 16.

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I pose these questions:

1. Does the Baby Boomer generation expect less from their kids than the Baby Boomers’ parents expected from them?
2. Does the increase in cost and quantity of gifts given to kids spoil them by making them think money is easy to come by?
3. What can we do as parents to make sure our kids have the manners, motivation and a work ethic that will ensure a successful, independent future for them?

Here’s what I know:

1. A child’s manners are learned from her parents and should be taught, with kindness, from birth.
2. Children learn by example. If you say please and thank you and write thank-you notes, so will your kids.
3. Motivation comes from within. If kids are handed too many material things and tasks are completed for them, they will not be motivated.
4. Motivation also depends a great deal upon self confidence. A child who is constantly criticized, belittled or scolded will often lack motivation due to fear of failure.
5. Following through with tasks has to do with all three - manners, motivation and work ethic. Returning phone calls, emails, making good on promises and simply finishing what has been started are required for success in work and in life. Kids who not only observe their parents following through, but are also respectfully expected (by their parents) to follow through will be more successful in life.
6. Children learn the value of hard work through reward. They need incentive to put forth an effort. But they should not be rewarded when they do not take action.
7. Kids do not enjoy hearing hardship stories about the days of ol’ in your life, your parents’ or grandparents’ lives. It does not generally motivate, them nor can they relate to them.
8. It is natural for parents to want to give their kids a better life than what they had, but too much is too much. Spoiled children grow up to be unhappy, unproductive adults.

Manners, Motivation, Work Ethic - Does Your Child Have Them?

Do you?