How do you talk about death with your kids, especially if their mother--mommy--died?
I've wrestled with this quite a bit lately. The boys are doing okay, but I don't want to completely shelter them from their feelings. I don't want to hide my grieving, either, because they need to know it's okay to cry and be angry and sad and...
Aunt Heather loaned me a few books about death/children the other day, one of them being a parable about water bugs and dragonflies. You can find a copy on Amazon or simply read the parable for free online. It's a nice story, and one which I hope reflects how the universe really works. Of course, I have no idea how the universe really works. I wish I did.
Those of you who know me well know how much "existential questioning" I do. Now that Aimee is gone, those questions are heavier. They really pull at me, especially at night when I'm trying to go to sleep or wake up at four AM expecting to hear Elliot (and don't--that kid is a world-champ sleeper).
Last night, I thought of a story I'd written several years ago, "The World in Rubber, Soft and Malleable". It's still one of my favorite stories, originally published at A Fly in Amber and reprinted (in slightly different form) in Triangulation: End of the Rainbow--
I like the way it reads at A Fly in Amber... No explanation of what is beyond the doors. That's where I am right now: on one side of the door. Aimee has stepped through and I can't follow. Not yet. I've got more murals to paint before I join her... Too many to count.
And yes, that is a metaphor from the story.
I frame my world with metaphors.
When I wrote the "The World in Rubber..." I wasn't thinking about death. But it works. It fits perfectly how I feel right now.
I miss you, Ziggs.
Viewing: Blog Posts Tagged with: Triangulation: End of the Rainbow, Most Recent at Top [Help]
Results 1 - 4 of 4
.jpeg?picon=3626)
Blog: The Other Aaron (Login to Add to MyJacketFlap)
JacketFlap tags: grief, grieving, Triangulation: End of the Rainbow, thoughts on life, aimee ziegler, memories of Aimee, thoughts on death, Add a tag
.jpeg?picon=3626)
Blog: The Other Aaron (Login to Add to MyJacketFlap)
JacketFlap tags: Publication, rant, thoughts on writing, Triangulation: End of the Rainbow, Add a tag
PARSEC Ink has put together another magnificent collection of short, speculative fiction, and I'm beyond honored to have a story included in its august pages. I received my contributor's copy of Triangulation: End of the Rainbow yesterday and skimmed a bit. Read a few stories. Read my story, "The World in Rubber, Soft and Malleable" again...and damn it, my own story made me get all choked up. Coupled with the afterword by editor Bill Moran, I was almost in tears.
Why?
"...fiction writing is dying..." (from the afterword)
By Zeus, I hope not. But Mr. Moran lays out a pretty powerful argument for why it is. (Let's just say Transformers 2 was not his favorite movie...) Me? I blame the internet. For all it's wonder and fantasy, it has made fiction cheap and easy. Cheaper than pulp stories. Hell, authors writing for pulp mags back in the Golden Age were paid near living wages for their words. Now, that kind of pay just isn't feasible (without massive debts) even for the best mags. I'd be shocked if any of them are turning profit. I'd be thrilled if they were.
Yes, YA novels are selling like crazy. And yes, some of them are wonderful. Okay, a few of them are wonderful. There's a ton of shite out there, though. Trust me. I work with teenagers. I see the kind of crap they grab at the library. I try to cultivate a love for good fiction, but it's a grueling, uphill battle. They have a million and one distractions: mindless movies, Youtube, text-messaging, Facebook...
Too many other choices for how to spend their copious leisure time to demand quality fiction. If the readers don't demand it, don't vote with their dollars, who is going to care?
This is the next generation, folks. This is the future.
If fiction dies, is the art of storytelling far behind? Is there anything more human than storytelling?
Man, I'll rage against the dying of that particular light. Rage hard, even if it kills me. I'm going to write, and write hard. Yeah, I'm back from the strange doorway in my basement.
"The colors through that door shamed anything the Krylon people could imagine. Shattered the rainbow, too."
But it was all a lie. A bigger lie than anything fictional. A bigger lie than "...fiction writing is dying..."
I hope.
Buy a copy of Triangulation: End of the Rainbow. Help fight the good fight. Win one for stories and good fiction in an era of paste-pudding and drivel.

Blog: The Poisoned Apple (Login to Add to MyJacketFlap)
JacketFlap tags: The Meaning of Yellow, Triangulation: End of the Rainbow, Cover Art, Add a tag
So excited about this one...
Triangulation: End of the Rainbow is now available for purchase over at Amazon. It contains my story, The Meaning of Yellow, along with stories from Aaron Polson, Marshall Payne, Cat Rambo, Amanda C Davis, Peter S Beagle, Brenta Blevins, Eugie Foster and others.
Here's the beginning of The Meaning of Yellow:
Sound rushed from the cinema, dragging with it several dwarves and a basketful of poisoned apples. Crouched behind the seats in row F, Maxine pressed her grey hand to her lips and hoped her breath didn't steam. Someone had left the emergency exit door propped open and frame by frame, the colours were being sucked from the move and disappearing into the night. When the screen faded to its usual black, she stood and watched the final trail of colour weave its way along the alley. The Ministry for the Abolition of Bright Things would have her head.
Story inspiration: A rather long day with my then four-year-old niece watching Disney's Snow White over and over and over and... You get the picture.

Blog: The Poisoned Apple (Login to Add to MyJacketFlap)
JacketFlap tags: Aaron Polson, Marshall Payne, Triangulation: End of the Rainbow, Add a tag
Jamie Lackey has announced the TOC for the forthcoming anthology, Triangulation: End of the Rainbow. (Thanks to Marshall Payne for the info). I'm super excited about this one, not least because Aaron Polson's previously published, The World in Rubber, Soft and Malleable, is in it. One of my favourite stories of 2009.
The Rainbow Vendor by David Sklar
Tourist Trap by Mark Onspaugh
Making Friends by Kylie Bullivant
A Test of Spirit by Brenta Blevins
David is Six by Amanda C. Davis
The Stickball Witch by Peter S. Beagle
Messiah by M. Z. Hoosen
The House at the End of the Rainbow by Amy Treadwell
A Womb of my Own by Tinatsu Wallace
The Meaning of Yellow by Cate Gardner
Talking Blues by Matthew Johnson
Spirit House by Ron Sering
A Patch of Jewels in the Sky by Eugie Foster
Haole by D.K. Thompson
The World in Rubber, Soft and Malleable by Aaron Polson
Commander Perry's Mystic Wonders Show by Jaime Lee Moyer
The New Elementals by Marshall Payne
In Lixus, Close to Waking by Erin Hoffman
In Order to Conserve by Cat Rambo
Ah, Aaron...this is hard to read, but I'm sure you're doing a great job by those boys. Many murals to paint and many more to admire, if those kids follow in their old man's footsteps!
I've always liked your "The World in Rubber..." story too. And I hadn't thought about it's being a metaphor for death either, but boy is it perfect.
I can't imagine having to explain to kids that Mommy won't be coming back. Wow. I admire your strength, seriously.
Thanks, Daniel. We're doing the best we can.
K.C. - Thanks. I'm glad it looks like strength. Feels a little like trying to glue together a giant vase which keeps crumbling... Funny how stories do what they need to do when we need them.
The parable was really neat, I think the boys will like it. You are an amazing dad. The boys will always miss Aimee and they will always remember the amazing love, guidance, and support you give them everyday. You have so much Aimee in you, and the boys will always see that. World's greatest dad takes on new meaning when you look at the job you are doing.
How about making a "Mommy book" with each boy over the summer? Each book could contain pictures of that child and Aimee, along with drawings (yours and/or theirs) and stories (yours and/or theirs) and whatever else you want to put in there. It's a way to start conversation, a way for them to express what they are feeling without having to articulate, and something they can keep forever to remind themselves how much she loved them.
Awww, Sara. I'm just doing what I can. Thanks.
Lane - Great idea. I'm going to chew on this one a bit...
Oh man, that post tugged at my heartstrings.
And you know I've always loved that short story - I shall reread it again today with new eyes.
That's still one of my favorite short stories. And I don't mean of yours, but I mean in general, ever. Like Cate, next time I read it, it'll be with new eyes. (And I do re-read it periodically.)
Thank you for sharing these things with us, as well as your stories about Aimee.
Praying and thinking of you all often. Lisa O