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... that almost rhyme with "Steve from AT&T"
1. no serendipity
2. my computer hates me
3. eternity *
4. Steve: bum. plays D&D.
5. I should have stuck with Comcast**
... that almost rhyme with U-Verse
1. perverse
2. Converse high tops***
3. Lilly's Purple Plastic Purse
4. from bad to worse
5. curse****
* as in how long it takes to load every page
** okay, that doesn't even almost rhyme, but it's the same thing, minus the mysterious "Your broadband connection is interrupted please contact your service provider" messages I am getting every ten minutes. I don't WANT to contact my service provider. I HATE that evil seductress of other people's fake boyfriends.
*** as in "I want to stomp my AT&T box while wearing Converse high-tops"
**** as in "Excuse me. I have to go yell inappropriate things at the little AT&T box now."
... that modern science can gather samples from the surface of Mars, perform heart surgery on an unborn fetus, and clone a pit bull...
...and yet be unable to invent a cold medicine that will stop my drip long enough to let me sleep without making me wake up feeling like somebody dropped an anvil on my head?
With which I guarantee karmic gymnastics-related injuries to my children
This week we have a Thursday News of the Absurd Will These Administrators Please Get a Grip Rant-Inspiring Moment...
From Yahoo News:
Australian School May Backflip on Cartwheel Ban
"An Australian school which recently banned its students from doing cartwheels, somersaults and other gymnastics during recess is reviewing the decision after parents and students got all bent out of shape."
Apparently, the school had banned gymnastics at recess due to the threat of injury.
Huh. Perhaps it would be best also to ban walking (danger of tripping), reading (squinting may cause damage to eyesight, plus there is always the issue of paper cuts), water fountains (choke hazard), writing (there is simply not a safe enough writing implement), and reading this article (toxic exposure to overuse of puns). Students could be required to wear helmets and knee pads to school, where they would sit in padded chairs that are bolted to the ground (to prevent tipping), no less than arm's length away from other students (violence), and listen to volume-moderated lectures from stuffed replicas of instructors (actual teachers being far too dangerous).
Apparently, "the school had classified gymnastic activities a 'medium risk level 2' danger to children when performed in class."
I'd guess other "medium risk level 2" activities include trigonometry (causes hair-pulling in some students) and wearing your pants too short (provokes spitball attacks). At the top of the "High Risk Level 1" list? Going to a school run by terrified morons.
I am reminded of the wisdom of one of the world's great literary characters, Dory from Finding Nemo. When Nemo's dad justifies his over-protection of his son by asserting that he promised his son he would never let anything happen to him, Dory responds, "Huh. That's a funny thing to promise....You can't never let anything happen to him. Then nothing would ever happen to him. Not much fun..."
What other activities do you think they should be ban?
SCBWI Bologna Interview Series on Cynsations...
A note from webmaster/blogger extraordinaire Cynthia Leitich Smith:
"It's my pleasure to host the SCBWI Bologna 2008 interview series, which launched today with an interview of Tracey Adams of Adams Literary in the U.S. Please check back at Cynsations or my MySpace blog over the next few weeks for 32 sequential question-and-answer interviews with agents, editors, art directors, publishers, authors, illustrators, and other publishing types about the international youth publishing scene. The series is offered by the SCBWI Bologna Biennial Conference in
conjunction with Cynsations."
Sending sympathy and best wishes for a speedy connection recovery.
I spent the better part of Thursday connecting a new wireless router. My boys can now kill aliens faster, so I guess that's good...
Whew! I'm staying out of your way - at least until the Converse are put away. Here's hoping for a quick connection soon!
Our internet connection is misbehaving too, if it's any consolation. Plus, my husband's laptop is acting up again after being fixed only two days ago for a hefty sum. It's like everyday we discover new ways to leak money.
Have you given Steve the link to your blog yet? Maybe he doesn't know how you really feel...grin...
"My boys can now kill aliens faster" makes me giggle.
Nora, you should've seen me battling Northwest Airlines today. Sigh.
Mary, maybe it's a world wide conspiracy.
Brenda, I was wondering what would happen if AT&T ever noticed how I complain about them here...
I'm sorry you're having issues and I hope they are resolved soon!! Thanks for making them funny for us to read. We can relate because we've all experienced similar situations with the fun of technology. (At least I think everyone's gone through something like this - it can't just be you and me, right?).
sruble, I hope it's not just us!