[We're driving in a car. I'm explaining how we can watch the original Abba video for "Take a Chance on Me" on this thing called Youtube, if we like.]
Momrat: Here's the the thing. I just don't understand how it works.
YT: How what works?
Momrat: You know. The internet. Why is there all that information? What is Youtube, and why is it THERE?
YT: It's just like real addresses, Ma. You know, when the mail truck is looking for you, they need to get to Smith Street, then they find #4. Well, think of Youtube as Smith Street, and the Abba video as, like, #87,400. And Google is like the phone book, where you find all the addresses.
Momrat: ...
YT: Does that make sense?
Momrat: No.
YT: Why not?
Momrat: What is it all doing in my HOUSE? Why is it in a little BOX? Did it come in on a WIRE, or something? [Waves hand wildly at windshield.] Why is all the information floating out there? Is there just an Abba video floating out there in the air? Why does that stuff even exist? Where was it before the internet?!
YT: ...
Momrat: WELL?!
YT: I... don't... I don't know.
Momrat: Yeah.
YT: I... I guess I just take it all for granted.
Momrat: Yeah, see? *You* don't know, either. No one knows. It's just all... floating.
[YT dials]
[Ring, Ring, Ring, Ring-]
Momrat: Hello?
YT: Hi, Ma.
Momrat: Oh, hi. I'm at work right now, so I can't talk.
YT: I know. I called for a reason, though. Listen, [Momrat's favorite author of mine] is going to be [media venue] at [upcoming particular date and time] and I thought you'd be interested.
Momrat: Oh! Yes! That's great.
YT: Good, I'm glad.
Momrat: But the thing is, I'm thinking about work right now so I'll never remember the details. Can you hang up and call me back and leave a message?
YT: Sure, no problem.
[YT hangs up, redials.]
[Ring, Ring, Ring, Ring--]
Momrat: Hello?
YT: Ma.
Momrat: Moonrat, I'm at work right now. I can't talk.
YT: Ma. I was calling you back to leave you the details on your voicemail.
Momrat: What details?
YT: About the--
Momrat: Oh right, the book talk. Sorry. Ok, try again.
YT: Ok. Bye.
[hangs up, redials]
[Ring, Ring, Ri-]
Momrat: Hello?
YT: Ma.
Momrat: Oops. I wasn't supposed to answer.
YT: That's right.
Momrat: Sorry. Ok, try again.
YT: Bye, Ma.
Today, we welcome Momrat as our featured Guest Blogger for Celebrate Reading Month.
About the Guest Blogger: Momrat is a long-time elementary school teacher and a competitive tagsaler. She enjoys long walks on the beach and things her docter has told her absolutely not to eat, particularly ruffled potato chips. She lives in the middle of the woods with her very useful engineer husband, two smelly dogs, and a monster that lurks in the basement.
Before I start talking about TRINITY by Leon Uris and why it was important to me, I should warn you that I read it a long time ago--it must be almost thirty years ago now, because I was on the plane to see your father [Dadrat] in California. I don't actually remember what happens in it. You know how I'm terrible with details like that. I remember that I really loved it, though. I read all his books. I remember that they take place in Ireland, and that it was a real page-turner. That said, I feel it's ok to talk about this book as being one of the most important I've read, and here's why.
I never considered myself a reader. In fact, I considered myself an anti-reader, from the time I was a kid. Whenever a teacher assigned me something to read, I deliberately resisted it, did what I could to get away with not reading it, or made sure I hated it. I never thought that English was my best subject, and honestly I thought I hated reading in general.
When I first met your father [Dadrat] he was always carefully trying to trick me into realizing I liked to read for pleasure. He'd always feed me lines like "Oh, try this one, it will appeal to you for such-and-such specific reason," and he made sure everything he showed me was short, accessible, and as un-scary as possible. I would roll my eyes and then give it a try for his sake, but I still never thought of myself as a reader. I had the impression still that the "serious" readers were the ones who took on the giant tomes, who enjoyed lugging around fat books, who were able to keep track of complex stories with huge words and many plot lines. I didn't think I was destined to be one of those people.
Then one day I was, as I mentioned, stuck on a long plane ride out to California. Not being a reader, I hadn't brought anything to read. But I did get bored--it's a long flight--and I happened to look in the pouch in front of me. There was a sample copy of TRINITY that someone had stuck in there. I'm not sure if it was handed out by the flight attendents or if someone before me had left it there, but it was one of the promotional editions that only contained the first couple hundred pages. And I thought, what the heck. I didn't have anything else to do. I would probably hate it--I'd seen the full version of the book and knew it was one of those huge tomes that only the "serious" readers would dare approach--but it wasn't like I had anything to lose but a couple hours of my time, which I was going to lose anyway.
You know what? I read that thing cover to cover. I could not stop turning those pages. And then when I got off the plane, I went to a bookstore and bought the whole thing.
Even though I don't remember the details of the plots of his books, Leon Uris helped me realize something about myself. He helped me realize that I was a good enough reader to make it through just about anything. I know it sounds silly now in retrospect, but I had grown up thinking I wasn't the kind of person who would ever be a reader, you know, I guess you might say an intellectual. Leon Uris made it clear to me that that distinction was in my mind, and that I actually could be--and was--a serious reader.
Now, as you know, I read all the time. I read to you every night before you went to bed for years. I read to myself every night before bed, and I read all kinds of books of all kinds of lengths. One of my recent favorites, JONATHAN STRANGE AND MR. NORRELL by Susannah Clarke, is a real humdinger of a tome. And you made me read SOUND & THE FURY, which you blogged about yesterday, and I enjoyed that too. Reading books I loved with my kids at school is my favorite part of my job. I love seeing the looks on their faces as they get caught up in the story I'm reading to them, and seeing what it looks like when they realize they are readers, too. But reading Uris was my breakthrough. He helped me have confidence in myself as a reader.
(this post was dictated but not read; MR/mr)
You'll all probably guess the twist in this story about 1/3 of the way into it. But Momrat, our hapless heroine, did not see it coming.
Late, late Wednesday night (for Momrat, that means anytime after 8 pm, and this was 10!) Momrat absolutely needed to call me to tell me that she'd been up all night reading one of my books. Not "up all night" in a good way--she really didn't like it and kept
That is going to be the name of my first book. Just so everybody knows. When a book by that name comes out, you'll know who I am.
Space Alien and I have been thinking about perhaps writing it together.
But yes, I promised to tell you about my mother's condition.
For many years, my mother, who is a teacher, has had what she calls "a bad throat." Her voice gets scratchy and dry, particularly
My sister (Space Alien) went home for the weekend. This is her story. Names have been changed to protect the ridiculous.
S.A. is walking out of the upstairs bathroom and hears Momrat calling her from the master bedroom (which is on the other side of the house). "Can you bring me my glasses case?!" calls Momrat.
The glasses case is, of course, on a nightstand about 2 feet from where Momrat is
Geez. The Brookshelf has cranked itself up to maximum informative capacity and it's all the rest of us can do to keep up as a result. Recently everyone's favorite Pittsburgh-based librarian
had a posting on The Pop-Up World of Ann Montanaro. I've grown quite fond of Brooke's online weekly exhibits. After you finish with the pop-ups, do yourself a favor and also check out Brooke's take on The Charlotte M. Smith Collection of Miniature Books as well.
This is hilarious. I love your mom. And she has a good point: Why is all that stuff floating out there?
Writtenwyrdd:Now I'm getting an image of millions of data servers chained up in hell. Demons prod them with tasers to keep them crunching data as fast as they can. They sit there in the brimstone-and-burnt-plastic scented darkness, grunting and sweating as the internet scorches their mechanical brains.
The Internet: It's like a sweatshop for robots.
You just took me back to the moment when my aunt asked me where all the deleted code goes.
I actually think deleted code is quite fascinating since it's not really deleted, but just sitting there headless on your comupter until the day something new is written over each piece of its body, one byte at a time.
Too funny!! The scary thing is, I can feel myself starting to think that way. I get the internet...but Twitter mystifies me.
Elle Parker
http://elleparkerbooks.blogspot.com/
It could be worse...she could make an attempt at using the internet. My mom does, and it's not pretty. In other words, I am her own personal help desk. UGH! I tried to correct her email smileys to no avail. They look like this: :=>>. She said it had a double chin and she continues to use it. :-D
Well at least she's older than you. Just imagine how embarassing it is for me when my 3 year old asks "but why?" and I sit there scratching my head. D'oh!
But your mom raises a good point.
LITGIRL! OMG! ROFL!!!!
I'm totally using that one. Tell your mom thanks...she may start a revolution!
:=>>
Dennis--Abba floats through us ALL
Omi--can't wait to see it!!!
Saw an article on the Premiere Magazine site the other day, on the 40 Greatest Movie Moms. MomRat will SO be on that list when they make a movie about her.
(Er -- or, of course, about you.)
Loved this story. I'd send it to my own mother but her email has been down for a couple months and she's already freaked out that aliens are probably reading it in her absence.
i wonder this from time to time. like WHERE is the internet?
*hovers in like amorphous plankton, wends feeler ratward, feels tingle, floats back off negotiating choice parabola for return...*
I love this! Are you sure we don't have the same mom?
Mine always calls me to tell me she got my email.
At least I think I got her to stop printing them out...
Ohmigosh, I was JUST trying to answer those very same questions this week. I had to go here to figure it out. Or at least, try to figure it out.
But it still feels freaky. I still think it just might be floating. Out there. Somewhere. Everywhere.
"It's just all... floating."
So cute.
Oh my goodness I am laughing so hard. I use to have these kind of conversations with my own mom. I use to just give up.
My mom got a B.S. in Computer Science because she figured computers were going to take over everyday life and she didn't want to be afraid of them when they did.
Gotta love that practicality.
She accepted television at some point in her life, right? No reason to understand exactly how it all works but just acknowledge that it's pretty much a good thing.
It's trying to make sense of it that makes your head spin. Far better to just dive in and coast.
I feel like I just went back in time.
I love Momrat!
:)
And this is why I love Momrat.
jjdebenedictis said...
Writtenwyrdd:Now I'm getting an image of millions of data servers chained up in hell. Demons prod them with tasers to keep them crunching data as fast as they can. They sit there in the brimstone-and-burnt-plastic scented darkness, grunting and sweating as the internet scorches their mechanical brains.
The Internet: It's like a sweatshop for robots.I've worked in IT. You're not that far off.
It is floating out there, especially when you're in a wifi hot spot. Whatever that is. I have a suspicion they don't really exist.
OMG your mom is too cute! Sounds like mine!
My mom sounds like Litgirl01's. She's on the internet and even wants me to show her how to get on Facebook so she can be my friend.
I'd better watch my language or I'll be eating soap again soon.
HYSTERICAL!!! Gotta love your mom.
Youtube is located on Googles data servers. They are actually quite neat. You can learn about them on youtube of course :P
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zRwPSFpLX8I
ROFLMAO!!
I recently had a similar conversation with mu husband. We decided that there are giant computers "someplace" and that's where all the information is. Not floating. :)
AHAHAHAHHAH! I LOVE these posts!!
:-)
Why is all the information floating out there?
LOL Tell Momrat it's like people decorating for the holidays. They just do. =)
It's late to comment but I can't resist telling you that this is one of the funniest exchanges I've ever read. It belongs in a play, although there'd have to be a huge pause for audiences to recover...I don't know what other dialogue could ever top it.
My husband and son and I have been wiping tears off our faces for the last 5 minutes. If they weren't laughing so hard, I might think it was the med's for my root canal, but I don't think...it's just FUNNY. Abba videos floating in the ether...it is hard to wrap your mind around.
Please write more about your mom, she's a stitch.
Heehee. Anon, I can't help but agree.
"What is it all doing in my HOUSE? Why is it in a little BOX? Did it come in on a WIRE, or something? [Waves hand wildly at windshield.] Why is all the information floating out there? Is there just an Abba video floating out there in the air? Why does that stuff even exist? Where was it before the internet?!"
These are simple answers which I have listed below:
1) "What is it all doing in my HOUSE?"
It's in your house because you have a connection to the Internet in your house (through your computer, probably, but also possibly though your cell-phone or other wireless device). Disconnect the "internet connection," meaning the cable from your modem to your PC, or just unplug the device that serves as your modem, and voila, your house is clean.
2)Why is it in a little BOX?
I assume that by "box" you mean computer. it's in the computer so that you can view and work with it. As noted above, however, computers are no longer the only devices which "have" the Internet.
3) Did it come in on a WIRE, or something?
In most cases, yes, it comes in on a wire right to your PC. In some cases there may be a "wireless router" which beams the data through the air (after it is piped to the wireless router via cable) much the same way your TV remote beams data through the air at your TV to tell it what to do.
4) Why is all the information floating out there?
It's not so much that the info is "floating" out there, like with radio and television waves, which truly are floating out there all the way to space where they continue on...but that it is linked or "networked" together from where it lives on millions of individual computers and other data storage devices. Sort of like a hive mind. So when you plug into the Internet (i.e. "network") you are connecting to millions of other computers with whatever they happen to have stored on them.
5) Is there just an Abba video floating out there in the air?
There are Abba vids from the early MTV broadcasts which are now probably jusst leaving our solar system--these are floating out there. The Youtube Abba vids, however, are not floating anywhere but are isntead just data files residing on someone's computer somewhere in the world (which is or was at some point connected to the Internet).
6) Why does that stuff even exist?
It exists because people created it. Files can be created on computers in various ways, including downloading digital video from your own camera, or from another computer via the Internet.
7)Where was it before the internet?!"
It existed in different formats. For example, the Abba video was some kind of 16mm film reel or whatever they shot music videos in the early 1980's with. At some point, after computers becamse more advanced, someone (I'm guessing whoever owned the rights to Abba's music) converted their Abba video into digital format so that it could be viewed and distributed online.
Another example would be your Mom's personal snapshots from when you were a kid, before there were digi cams. They're prints. Supposed you scan one in and e-mailed it to your Mom. It's now on the 'net. "where was it?" before the net? It was a print photo, probably by Kodak.
Hope this helps.
I'm taking exception with point 5. Youtube isn't a P2P network it's a centralized data model. It's not on someones computer it's on a data server.