by Shutta Crum
PiBoIdMo is about beginnings—first ideas, first notes, and then, hopefully, first drafts from the exciting tidbits we’ve jotted down during the month. While thinking about beginnings I remembered one of my first writing classes: high school journalism. I don’t remember much from the class except that a good lead should always include the answers to four important questions: the 4 Ws. These are: who, what, where, and when. After a good lead, we were taught the story could move on into the details of how, or why.
Good leads are something that the news reader doesn’t really notice, but are crucial to keeping the reader’s attention. They quickly dispense with niggly concerns and important facts so the reader can settle into the story. It is a technique every picture book writer ought to know.
Answering those four questions right up front in any story tucks the reader in. However, as with many aspects of writing the picture book, the writer for the very young has to do it faster, with fewer words, and sometimes in verse!
Better than hearing this from me—and more fun—is studying how some of our best picture book writers, and illustrators, do it. Below are some of my favorite examples, in prose and in verse.
(Prose) Rosemary Wells, from MAX’S CHOCOLATE CHICKEN.
“One morning somebody put a chocolate chicken in the birdbath.”
Let’s parse this opening line. When: one morning. Who: somebody. (We also see a picture of that somebody—Poppa?) What: put a chocolate chicken. Where: in the birdbath. (And what a great hook for a young child! Why would someone do that?)
(Verse) Karma Wilson, from BEAR SNORES ON.
“In a cave in the woods
in his deep, dark lair,
through the long, cold winter
sleeps a great brown bear.”
Where: in a cave in the woods in a deep dark lair. When: through the long cold winter. What: sleeps. Who: a great brown bear. (And she did all this with perfect meter! Note: be sure to read Karma’s earlier post, on Nov. 2nd.)
Of course, we are blessed by the illustrations in our picture books. In addition to everything else they do so well, the art carries a great deal of this initial informational load. If the setting is a farm, we see that and it may not be mentioned at all in the text. If it is nighttime, or winter, or the main character is a bear . . . these may, also, not be directly mentioned. If it is not said in the text, it is then incumbent on the illustrator to add that context. Look at Jane Yolen’s Caldecott-winning book, illustrated by John Schoenherr.
(Free verse) Jane Yolen, from OWL MOON.
Thank you so much for reminding me of my high school journalism class! This is a great post. I will now go back and look at my first lines to check for who, what, when, and where!
This is a great post–first lines are so important but pointing out that they can do so much is so helpful. Thanks, Shutta.
Happy Thanksgiving to all!
I’ve been reading the section on beginnings Ann Whitford Paul’s book. She lists 6 W’s which need to be there.
I’ve been looking at my own stories and deciding every time that the ‘when’ and ‘where’ weren’t important to the story. Your post today has reassured me that this might be okay!
Thank you!
Thanks Shutta. I never looked at my first lines in that way and i think it could be quite useful for the type of stories that i write. So thanks a lot !!!
I have been learning so much and been inspired so much during this month !! i keep saying thanks, tara
This is so helpful! I’ve been struggling with the opening of one of my stories, and I think this will help tremendously.
Shutta, thanks for showing us examples of beginning with the 4 Ws in picture books.
This is so helpful, thank you Shutta. I just happened to get The Bravest of the Brave out of the library yesterday, what a great book!
I’ll have to double check that my first lines include the 4w’s. Thanks, Shutta!
I will be examining first lines of all my manuscripts after the holiday! Thank you for the reminder.
Terrific reminder! A strong start paves the way to a well paced plot and a satisfying conclusion. I like the idea of ‘tucking in’ the reader!
What an education PiBoIdMo is this year, Tara! Thank you again and again.
Shutta, having never taken journalism or any such courses, this slant on picture book writing is new to me. It helps me to see how I can build upon the beginnings and vague ideas I have accumulated during this month to pull my stories together to capture readers’ interest. Then hopefully I can tuck them in. (love that visual of snuggly contentment.) Thank you!
I have learned a lot from studying first lines from picture books. It forces me to craft stronger beginning sentences for my picture book manuscripts. Thanks for citing these wonderful examples. Happy thanksgiving to all!