How to use this Page

Who's Running Your Show?

by Sandy Grason

You may have heard me say “your Inner Wisdom whispers and your Inner Critic yells”. What I mean by this is when I first heard the whisper of my Inner Wisdom it said “write a book”, but immediately my Inner Critic piped in and said;

I wish I could tell you that I've conquered my Inner Critic, stomped her out, smashed her with my powerful-Rock Star-Hot Mogul-ness. I hate to report that she is alive and well and she usually is loudest when I'm standing in the wings getting ready to head on stage, the person introducing me is reading my fabulous bio, listing all the wonderful things I've accomplished, blah, blah, blah.... all I hear is “If they could have seen you having a meltdown in the parking lot with your kids last week, oh they would be REALLY impressed...”




1. Be Willing to Suck. As I mentioned, my Inner Critic likes to tell me that I'm doing “it” wrong. It doesn't matter what it is, there's that critical voice, always chiming in, judging everything, looking for the problem or the reasons why I'll never be able to succeed. I got a note from a reader recently telling me the story of her sister who finally, finally finished her screenplay. When she asked her sister how she managed to accomplish this her sister replied “I was willing to suck at it!” That's the game your Inner Critic plays, judging you harshly until you just give up rather than doing something that is less than perfect. So go ahead! Be willing to Suck! It will change your life!

2. Shut Your Mouth. And your phone, your television, your radio off for a little while. Be quiet for at least 10 minutes every day. You don't have to DO anything during this time. Reconnect with yourself. It's hard to hear your Inner Wisdom when you've got lots of other voices competing for air time in your head. Shut everything off and just sit quietly. Or listen to some favorite music. Go outside and put your feet in the sand or the grass (or the snow?). Stare at the sky, move clouds with your mind, rock in a rocking chair, swing on a swing. Do this everyday for 10 minutes. Watch the magic unfold.
Add a Comment

A friend approached me about some negative comments a customer had said about her successful business. The comments had stopped her in her tracks for days. The negativity crept up and took hold of much of her energy.
Amazingly, I often seem to remember negative comments much more than positive ones. My friend with the business agreed. No matter how many customers she had, the one critic's comments nagged at her.
It's almost as if we have an inner critic that lurking in our mind. Then a person says something that adds fuel to a spark that consumes our self-esteem. Dousing that raging inner critic is often hard.
This has happened to me. In the past couple weeks, I've been working to silence an inner critic of my writing after someone made a negative--not constructive--comment about something I wrote. It didn't bother me at first. But then I gave the negativity too much room to roam in my mind--too much space and fuel--and the critic overtook many positives I'd been feeling.
Instead of giving into the critic (for too long), I gave myself a boost without tapping away on my keyboard. I called a friend. A writer/editor with an understanding of the writing process and a wicked sense of humor. After 10 minutes, she had me laughing so hard that all negative thoughts were pushed out of my mind. She didn't stroke my ego but she brought back a sense of humor and play that I needed to regain my balance and squash that flame of the inner critic.
What do you do to return balance to your writing after feeling the pinch of an inner or external critic?

Elizabeth King Humphrey is a writer and creativity coach. She would rather spend time alone with her keyboard than to roam the desolate, dusty fields of negative writing comments. Besides contributing to AOL's ParentDish, she blogs at The Write Elizabeth, delving into creativity in everyday places.

Display Comments Add a Comment