Recently, there have been GW sightings in Virginia. Apparently he’s been palling around with Pat Buchanan closing all of the political bars said to be in, “A Disturbed state of vengence, bent on payback.” Pat’s been antagonizing him to strap on a a pair of titanium balls and get a back bone regarding aggressive plans to attack Iraq.
Pat barks.” GW, Where’s your direction boy? You mean to tell me between You, Dick, and Big Daddy you can’t hash out a pow-wow with the Arab Princes to gang rape Saddam Hussein? “You are all pathetic.” “To Hell with Bin Laden!” “He’s more valueable alive than dead.” ”Don’t let family vendetta’s cloud your judgment boy.” ”Go for the gusto and break some Arab balls!”
Pat keeps barking, “Surrounding Arab nations will pick through the bones.” “Rumor has it, Castro’s been showing interest in broken nation re-building.” ”Damn….with that in mind, we can bang the cold war gong another Fifty years or so.”
NEWS BRIEF: A local news reporter was said to be kidnapped and poisoned with chlorophorm after printing an accurate account of recent weekend benders by the two scoundrels. Apparently both GW and PB were double fisted with Jose Cuervo and Corona’s when they stumbled upon a travelling circus carnival and rousted a few clowns from their trailer. The clowns woke up to GW and PB demanding their political party alliance to the Republicans. Wnen they realize the clowns disinterest in Republican idealogue they flew into drunken rages.
They decide to strap these poor fellows to their bunk beds and douse them with Tequilla and Beer and lock them in tight. For vengence and spite they pushed the trailer down a steep ravine, careening into a Virginia swamp, all the while screaming.”Who’s your Daddy boy?, Who’s your Daddy?” Gw was just following and hanging around Pat. Totally clueless, looking up to him like a father figure. Unexpectedly, Buchanan’s Irish temper took hold and in a blind rage he scoops GW up and body slams him to the ground, proceeding to place a rear naked choke hold when secret service intervenes.
They whip out two Executive model stun guns and jolted Buchanan with 20,000 volts of lightning therapy treatments. Witness’s state, “It lit him up like a christmas tree in Central Park. His eyes bulged out like a raped ape.” GW is quoted, “It’s just the typical political rumors the Democrats have been spreading from day one. I’ve been sober for Ten years.”
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