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The winners have been chosen! Thanks to everyone for participating in the DOUG-DENNIS and the FAT FIB contest! Darren and I had a great time today reading all your fibs, you fantastic liars, you. 

Before I get to the winners, I want to mention that there were a few funny trends in the lies, which lead me to believe you are all constantly thinking about the follow:

1. Chuck Norris
2. JK Rowling
3. Food

Seriously!

Also, after reading the fibs, Darren and I realized we couldn't stick strictly to our first, second and third place prizes. So we changed it up just a bit. There was actually a tie for the grand-prize, and we also liked a whole lot of them for third place, so we decided to a group of honorable mentions that all get BAH stickers. More winners!

And now, without further ado...

The GRAND PRIZE winners of a signed book and a partial manuscript critique are:

• @DelilahSDawson for: "I don't make snow angels. I make snow narwhals."
• @mistyprovencher for: "I did not eat the crayons. I just smile rainbows."

SECOND PLACE of a limited edition BAH poster and a query letter critique goes to:

• @LiteraryMouse for: "Just below the Earth's crust is a thin layer of chocolate pudding. Geologists don't talk about it because they want to eat it themselves."

And a whole batch of HONORABLE MENTIONS who are getting BAH stickers:

• @Donna_Earnhardt for: "I carved the faces on Mount Rushmore...with my toothbrush."
• @KeimComley for: "My homework ate my dog."
• @KCBooks for: "I did not eat brownies for breakfast."
• @YolaRamunno for: "I don't know what I really look like because every mirror I look into shows me someone different."
• @JaneLebak for: "Actually, Wednesday will be held on Thursday this Friday."

If you are one of the winners, please email me at: elana [at] johnsonliterary [dot] com. 

Congrats to everyone! And happy release day, DOUG-DENNIS AND THE FLYAWAY FIB!

At long last DOUG-DENNIS AND THE FLYAWAY FIB by Darren Farrell will be released into the wild this week!

It's a hilarious, wacky, and whimsical picture book, that introduces you to a compulsive little liar of a sheep named Doug-Dennis. The reviews have been great. Doug-Dennis has been likened to Homer Simpson, and Darren compared to Mo Willems and Jon Scieszka. You can't get much better than either of those! So I just know you'll fall in love with this book and its unlikely hero. 

So. We're running a brand-new kind of contest 'round these CJLA parts. A Twitter contest!

The task: Tweet us your BEST FAT FIB. That's right, we want a "140 characters or less" little white lie, fat yellow fib, or what have you. 

Let's start with the prizes to entice you.

• The GRAND PRIZE WINNER of the FAT FIB contest will receive:
  • A signed copy of DOUG-DENNIS AND THE FLYAWAY FIB
  • A partial manuscript critique, from me, Elana. 
  • The pride (and shame!) of knowing you are one fantastic liar!
• Second prize: A signed + numbered letterpress BAH Poster (250 limited edition! You'd be very special!) plus a query critique from me. 
• Third Prize: A pack of BAH stickers. This is official membership to the Doug Street Team! (Check out Darren's blog for places the BAH sheep has been sighted.) 

So you think you're a fabulous liar? Then you better participate. Here are the rules.... (Note: after the pitchslam last month, I am going to be more of a stickler about this one. You MUST follow all of them. I just don't care to make exceptions this time around. And if I change the rules? Deal with it.)

1. Follow the brilliant Doug-Dennis/Darren Farrell on Twitter: @HonestDoug.  
2. Enter ONE fabulous, fat fib on Twitter. (Fibs posted as comments to this blog post will be enjoyed, but not judged. For some ideas of how to fib, check out the Fib Factory.)
3. You MUST use this hashtag in your tweet: #fatfib (If you don't use it, we'll never see it!)
4. You may enter once, and once you may enter.
5. How do lies and fibs cross the globe, growing bigger all the way? By repeating them! Spread the word about the contest! 
6. Darren and I will be the sole judges of the contest.
7. The deadline for this contest is 9AM Eastern Time on Thursday, March 4th (release day!). Winners will be announced Friday morning. There are no exceptions to this! If any fat fib tweets are sent after that time, they will NOT be read.

Now get thee to Twitter and start fibbing!

~Elana

A day in the life of a substitute school librarian:

Thank goodness all school libraries have a box (or in this case a shelf) where they keep all the random, lost, mislaid, unattached, displaced and abandoned mystery cords and connectors "just in case."

TWO minutes before my first class poured into the library where I was subbing today I found an acceptable power cord for the projector in that clutter. Hard to project your highly entertaining writing lesson without power!!! (Why the projector was missing the power cord to begin with is another mystery.)

Good thing that I am a bona fide, certified, sanctified, dignified, sanitized, applied and surprised if not somewhat fried, true-blue librarian -- able and ready to deal with any reading or library media emergency.


Splendid day.



Another benefit of the short story book, Noisy Outlaws, Unfriendly Blobs, and Some Other Things That Aren't As Scary, Maybe, Depending on How You Feel About Lost Lands, Stray Cellphones, Creatures from the Sky, Parents who disappear in Peru, a Man Named Lars Farf, and One Other Story We Could Not Finish So Maybe You Can Help Us Out, Stories by Nick Hornby, Neil Gaiman, Jon Scieszka, Jonathan Safran Foer and more. (Delacourt, 2005) is ... the "Other Story We Could Not Finish So Maybe You can Help Us Out" entry at the back of the book. Perfect for National Day on Writing.

Each period, a class of seventh graders set to work finishing Mr. Snicket's story with, mostly, quiet engrossment.

Best question of the day from a young gentleman who inquired, "Can I add zombies?"
Answer: It is YOUR story.



Fibs
"Have you tried Fibbing?" I asked when the the head of the English department at that campus lamented the lack of fun, inspiring, writing projects for the math and science teachers who were participating in the day of writing. She had not heard of Fibs so I was able to spread the word and send her towards GottaBook's Greg Pincus.


Puppets and other fantastical creatures
The thing that continues to dazzle me about junior high kids is how they can be cool, aloof teens one moment and in the next are asking about and then talking to a 'dragon' with an utterly goofy smile on their faces. Honestly, the annoying creature (Dragon, not the student) is going to need his own Facebook Fan page if this keeps up. His ego knows no bounds at this point.

If I could I would leave him at home when I have a job, but you can't argue with a dragon at 6:30 in the morning so I just let him come along.
I don't like it. His behavior is not reliable. Still, I am amazed that so many kids remember him though. I mean he doesn't even talk. He just smirks and muggs and--

I swear, they screamed and cheered when he came out today. It took us both quite aback. It was ridiculous. I 'heart' seventh graders.

Too tired to review; thank Greg for the search fib

on
the
banks of
inch by inch
(been sick, missed the bus)
I love someone with autism.

I have no idea what Flashquake is, but they're holding a Fibs contest. As I am certain you all know, Gregory K. of Gotta Book invented this form of poetry. The first line of a Fib is one syllable and each line after that combines the total syllables of the previous two lines. As a result, the six-line syllable count is 1-1-2-3-5-8. You get the picture. At any rate, there's a contest out there using the poems.

Our Less Is More contest will open on January 1. We're accepting entries for micro-fiction of 100 words or less and mini-poems called "Fibs." And to acknowledge flashquake's long commitment to the visual arts, we'll showcase "micro" photographs taken with cell phone or PDA cameras.