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Now THAT'S a pitch!

I recently judged a contest for the blog at QueryTracker.net, a great site for writers at the query stage looking for more information about potential agents (and where my client Cole Gibsen first learned about me). I agreed to help out and, seeking something that would be both 1) easy on me and 2) beneficial to writers, I decided to limit the entries to pitches of 25 words or less. To see the winners and more details about the contest, head HERE.

I can already hear many of you groaning. If boiling  down a story into two or three paragraphs for a query is like stubbing your toe, then fitting an entire novel into 25 words is like getting a 50 ton anvil dropped on your cat. You know, if you really like your cat. Despite the painful nature (sorry, Kitty!) of the contest for some, doing this sort of exercise is certainly worthwhile.

The 25-word pitch (sometimes the “elevator pitch,” sometimes the “mom pitch,” sometimes the “you only have 15 seconds before your audience loses interest pitch”) is a skill writers should have in their toolbox no matter what stage of their career in which they find themselves. Even juggernauts of literature still get asked, “Oh, so what’s your new project about?” And while we’re more likely to nod for 15 minutes as Ernest Hemingway explains the ins and outs of his latest nautical story, hearing “It’s about an old Cuban fisherman trying to catch a marlin. But, you know, it’s about life, maaaaan” is more useful. Confusing, since Hemingway is 1) dead and 2) not a hippy, but useful nonetheless.

As an agent, it’s super helpful to have these sorts of pitches ready. I never know when lunch or drinks with an editor will turn into an opportunity to talk about a project I represent. It’s not just with editors, either; I’ve had plenty of conversations where someone wants to know what the heck it is I do and what sort of books I’ve sold. To pull out a succinct, quick description makes things loads easier and lets us get back to our game of Jenga.

So how do you write these things, anyway? There’s no perfect formula, but I like to always start with who the story is about, what challenges the protagonist faces, and some standout detail that makes it feel unique. For example, when pitching my client Cole Gibsen’s book KATANA, my 25 word pitch was: “It’s KILL BILL meets BUFFY, about a teen girl who discovers she’s a reincarnated samurai, but would rather be breaking hearts than breaking bones.” Who is it about? A teen girl. What challenges does she face? She’s learned she might be a samurai warrior, for the love of Pete! What makes it feel unique? All of it, really, but most notably for me, the notion of a kick ass teen who may or may not use swords. Swords, people! This pitch doesn’t get into many of the elements that make this project so fun and awesome, but it’s enough to make people (hopefully) say, “Huh, that’s interesting!”

Let’s move to an example many of you will be familiar with. As I’ve said on here before, I’m a big Roald Dahl fan. As a third grader, I  declared to anyone who would listen (and some who wouldn’t) that CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY was the best book ever written. I’ve since revised this opinion, but if I was looking to tell a someone about the story, I may

It feels natural to follow a post about what books I really enjoyed in 2009 with a post about the sorts of books I’d love to sign in 2010. And yes, I am actively seeking new talent! In other words, GIMME GIMME GIMME.

Ahem.

My interests as listed on the Upstart Crow website serve as a general outline of my tastes. Yes, I like books for boys. Yes, I’m crazy for middle grade. Yes, my tastes get a little more specific when it comes to teen. No, I’m not interested in signing the next Twilight, even though I’d love to swim through piles of money like Scrooge McDuck. No, I don’t currently represent picture books (please hold your rotten tomatoes until the end of the post).

If you really want to send a project that will make me drool, the following list should provide some guidance. I’m seeking books that are: 

• Genuinely hilarious: Humor is tough. I get it. It’s also incredibly subjective. I’ve found, though, that because I say I’m looking for funny books for boys, I tend to see lots of submissions featuring farting, barfing, barfing that smells like a fart, or kids farting on barf. Sure, those things can be funny (even writing that last ridiculous sentence made me chuckle), but it takes more than gross humor to sustain an entire book. I want the sort of humor that makes me read sections out loud to annoyed friends and family. I want humor that arises out of witty dialogue, well-realized situations, and general madcapery (I just made that word up). Some books I read recently that really made me laugh include M.T. Anderson’s Whales on Stilts, Josh Lieb’s I am a Genius of Unspeakable Evil and I Want to be Your Class President, and the Diary of a Wimpy Kid books. 
• Sports-themed, but about more than just sports: I started writing specific information and examples before realizing the topic of sports books will require a separate post. Simply put, I want books that are about more than just the featured sport and stay away from common clichés like the triumph of the underdog or the awesome-athlete-who-falls-from-grace-and-then-redeems-him/herself. More in a later blog update!
• Classic: While this can apply to teen, I’m speaking more about middle grade here. I have a soft spot for books that feel like they could have been written thirty years ago without too many major adjustments. These types of stories often withstand the test of time and don’t become dated as easily as stories fully dependent on technology, trends, and dialect from 2010. Think about Harry Potter: aside from some technologies from the Muggle world, Harry and company could  have lived in the 1970s just as easily as the late 1990s/early 2000s.
• Re-envisionings of a classic story/mythology: I’m crazy for the Percy Jackson books for how they pull from and send up Greek mythology, and I’m generally a sucker for works that reinvent or reimagine classic works.I’d love to be able to pitch a project by saying, “It’s King Lear set on a farm in Iowa from the daughters’ perspectives” (Jane Smiley’s A Thousand Acres) or “It’s Beowulf…WITH MONKEYS!” Okay, maybe not that last one, but you get the point.
• Steampunk: I know, I know, this is a buzz word being bandied about and could be a trend that comes and goes, but there’s something fun about steampunk books that I’m fi
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