After the day I experienced yesterday my theory about what is wrong with the world was solidified.

Most people cannot communicate well.

The inability to communicate wreaks havoc on all that could otherwise be good. And as a writer/author/speaker, who makes a living by communicating, I am all the more frustrated by people who do not communicate well with me. To communicate is to share information. If you are the only person who knows something, you are not sharing anything, so you are certainly not communicating. Family feuds, divorces, job/client firings and even wars are often the result of poor communication.

So enough with my rant. Let’s talk solutions. You cannot change the way others communicate, but you can change what you do to improve your own communication habits:

1. Cover Your Bases – Assume the person you are communicating with knows nothing about what you are thinking or doing. Explain it all. Don’t patronize, but be clear.
2. Cover Your Ass – Put your important words in writing and email/mail/fax them to the recipient. People have a tendency to forget what you say verbally, but once it is in writing, it cannot be disputed later. You cannot be accused of not communicating.
3. Be a Good Listener – Don’t ignore what others tell you and assume it is okay to do what you want without repercussions.
4. Ask the Right Questions – “Are you saying that you want me to ____?”
5. What is Not Said is as Important as What is Said - If you are meeting in person, look ticked off, yawn through a meeting or show other negative body language, your listener will know. On the other hand, if the person you are meeting with shows negative body language, be aware of what that person is trying to tell you.
6. Don’t Assume Anything – Just because you may have been clear about what you said, don’t assume the “listener” heard you correctly or even comprehends what you said.
7. Encourage Feedback – “What do you think about that solution?” This way you’ll know if the person you are trying to communicate with understands what you said.
8. Repetition is Your Friend – It is okay to repeat yourself (in non-annoying ways) to make sure your voice is heard. This is particularly true when you need to communicate events that are going to take place in the not-so-near future.
9. Kindness Goes a Long Way – Above all else, be kind. People don’t want to be friends/married to/related to/do business with nasty, combative people. If you have ever been unkind, especially in business, and told yourself “people will get over it,” you’re only fooling yourself.
10. Dig Out Your Sense of Humor - No matter how careful you are at communicating, there will be times when confusion ensues. When you get over the frustration, find a way to laugh about it. After all, there is nothing you can really do about it after the fact.