It seems so obvious that only writers able to market their product will get that product to market.

What about the great writers who can “only” write?

Lynne,

I don’t doubt you can kick down some doors, much more efficient use of one’s energy than running the traditional publishing marathon. I once had a boss who said, “If you ain’t cheatin’, you ain’t tryin’ hard enough.” The moral threshold is always moving. Steroids? Oral sex? Doorbusting isn’t cheating. It’s the new roadwork for the human race.

After years of the seemingly never-ending uphill treadmill, I jumped off and took a different bus (as a non-New Yorker the only subways I know are sandwiches) to a regional publisher and struck an ‘out of the ordinary’ deal–sort of a hybrid between published and self-published.

If I had to do it over, I would have first struck some deals with liquor companies for product placement in my memoir, to subsidize its costs. Subsequent to publishing I have worked toward creating my own brand and have trademarked a few drinking-related items, including the phrase Will Dance For Margaritas. I now have a sponsor, Twang Margarita Salt.

In my next book, not only will I have authentic product placement, I will also sell ads for the back pages. Honorable? Writing is both an art and an ultra-competitive business. Shameless marketing? Forgive me for being new-fashioned.

Wickedly Yours,
DC

Note from the Wicked Witch of Publishing ™: The real crime in all this is that DC’s book is terrific and warrants much more exposure than it is getting. What idiots turned this book down? I know, I know, I don’t review books and I’m not doing so here, though I did add my comments to Amazon.com because I couldn’t get over how surprised I was to like the book so much. I read the book over the course of three evenings and then quickly passed it on to a friend of mine. She LOVES the book. And the book is not all yucks by any means.  

Heaven forbid if the above should be V.S. Naipaul, the great and formidable
Trinidadian writer! Heh.

Ivan

Note from the Wicked Witch of Publishing ™: Ivan is Canadian. He has written and self-published four novels using the Island Grove Press imprint. He has been the recipient of an Ontario Arts Council grant. 

I’m listening. Look at my Web site. All I need now is a finished product. Of course, first I have to finish my radio adaptation in time for the BBC radio play competition deadline. In the meantime, any of your jaded agent friends are welcome to approach me to join my First Look Sweepstakes.

Writers should relax. I wish they’d relax and have some fun.

In a world of 6.5 billion people, few are going to extend too awfully far beyond their home towns and circle of friends and associates and a small audience beyond that, whether self-published or picked up by someone who claims to be a “traditional publisher,” whatever that is, these days. We impact the part of the world we can. And even those who hit the “traditional publisher” get a limited run—and then vanish.

I saw one estimate that, worldwide, 600,000 books are published each year. Yet “Everyone is reading the same 20 books,” Paul Slovak, associate publisher of Viking, once complained.

Do what you can. Enjoy it. Self-publish and do some creative marketing on your own if “breaking down doors” doesn’t appeal to you. Life is short—and is your writing really worth breaking down doors? I didn’t think so.

“…the writer purrs, “I start with a large glass of The Glenlivet.” Oh yeah, right. And he wears a beret and sits at a cafe jotting notes on the human condition. Gimme a break.

I see the publishing industry from a different market perspective. As opposed to the ABA, I see it from the CBA (Christian Book Assoc.) side, which alleviates those kind of competitive numbers.

The CBA has grown to a 6 billion dollar a year business, and competition is fierce, but nowhere near as fierce as it is in the ABA.

While I don’t see product placement in the CBA like there is in the ABA, (*snort* I could see the Chivas going over like a lead balloon)I have seen creative marketing like Brandilyn Collins is doing with the Scenes and Beans character blog for her fictional Kanner Lake book series.

We also have creative marketing strategies like the Christian Fiction Blog Alliance that I direct. We literally reach thousands of people a week with our book tours, and get our books weekly placement on Technorati’s poplular book list.

I feel that thinking outside of the proverbial box is the key, and you are only limited by your imagination. Although I don’t think that the, “If you ain’t cheatin’, you ain’t tryin’ hard enough…” philosophy works for us

I have to agree with V.S., most writers don’t know how to market themselves and some writers don’t even want to! The latter are still stuck in the mindset “I don’t write for money, I write for the love of writing” blah, blah, blah. C’mon, if we writers really aren’t concerned if anyone reads our stories then we would be content with a drawer full of manuscripts.

Therefore, for writers who want readers, I agree Lynne; door busting is the way to go. Thank you for highlighting what other authors are doing. Some self-published authors here in Chicago have received grants from the large corporations to subsidize their publishing efforts. This is the first time I’ve seen an author collaborate with an advertiser. Impressive.

Mel 

Publishers at one time always advertised other series and other authors at the back of books, both hardcovers and paperbacks.
Associated or story related products might not be a stretch.

Publishing and marketing is easy, Glenlivet-drunk composing, difficult. How can we drink on the job?

What evidence do you have that Warner approached Glenlivet with this idea? I suspect that this was all after the fact of his novel’s publication.

I’d like to see someone with no agent or publisher approach the head of marketing with a tie-in conceptand succeed. If they could even get them on the phone, the first question they’d be asked would be, “Who is your publisher?”

Then you answer, “Well, I don’t have one yet…”

“Well, what’s in it for our company to be associated with you book?”

“Well, I uh, er, well, that is, I think that …”

CLICK! Dial tone time.

This strikes me as a desperate last chance tactic, not a place to start from. Further, most writers fiction or nonfiction probably doesn’t even contain elements that would be amenable to a tie in.

Note from the Wicked Witch of Publishing ™: Hi, Peter. You are right: in all probability the publicist or special sales person associated with the publishing house struck the deal, though the contract would have, ideally, been signed about three to six months before pub date, when the ARCS were going out. I disagree with you completely, however, when you say an author could not get past “go” with the head of marketing. Yes, the author has to have his or her “pitch” down and be able to articulate what’s in it for the other guy—because that’s what it is all about, believe me! Email subject line: ”Glenlivet Promotes Scotch with Scottish Author.” If I were a Scottish author I could fire off that email to Glenlivet (or one of Glenlivet’s competitors), and if I were a Bahamian author, I could send the SAME email to the head of marketing for Bacardi’s rum, and the text of my email would be read. Of course, I would have embedded The Glenlivet ad. No, elements of the content of the book do not have to be a direct tie-in to the company.

Peter does have a valid point. This is young Warner’s fifth novel, and I’m not sure this strategy would have gotten off first base had it been his first with no publisher. Probably impossible even if he’d been a previously unknown writer with a publisher.

I think a writer is far better off to try and establish a local connection (with a point of interest that they can market themselves) than to try and put a Rambo character into it and trying to sell it as Humvee ad potential. Mr. Warner had a big jump with his established reputation and I suspect this was merely added income for him.

Visitors are dropping by The Publishing Contrarian in record numbers from 55 countries!!!

From the UK: London, South Kyme, Halifax, Manchester, Gateshead, Reading, Kingston Upon Hull, Sidcup, Cramond + …

From Canada: Toronto, Kingston, London, Ottawa, Montreal, Leaside, Winnipeg, Vancouver, Burlington, Greenfield Park, Richmond, Beloeil, Caughnawaga + …

From Israel: Tel Aviv-Yafo, Kefar Shemaryahn

From Brazil: Sao Paulo, Diadema, Sao Jose Do Rio Preto, Belo Horizonte, Sao Jose Dos Campos, Anapolis + …

From Poland: Poznan, Krakow, Warszawa, Czestochowa

From Norway: Oslo, Bergen

Monico, Nigeria, Mexico +++ ….

Lynne, You are provocative as always. I do think we’re tangled in a virtual Absurdistan when it comes to marketing writing through the traditional agent to publisher method aka the Rythym Method in which no one seems to understand how babies are conceived and what do with them after they arrive. 200,000 babies! 600,000 babies. The obvious midstream opportunity here is waste management or the renewable disposable diaper with author photo.

Note from the Wicked Witch of Publishing ™: David Thayer is a book reviewer for January Magazine and The Philadelphia Inquirer.  

WW:

What constantly astonishes me is not so much who doesn’t find a way to get published as what books do get published by established houses. I look in PW and NYT Book Review and elsewhere and see titles that only the author’s mother might read yet they are being spewed out there like millions of sperms cells in the seemingly desperate hope by publishers that a few will “get through” to a wide-enough audience to allow for a successful, popular pregnancy and a best-seller will be spawned. The decision-making by editors continues to puzzle me.

Small advances could mean that many of these books ultimately don’t lose money or at least nothing catastrophic financially occurs, but doesn’t the industry as a whole realize it’s choking on its own self-gratification as groaning book shelves can’t take one more onslaught? The industry, ironically, is forcing [so many books] on consumers that only the storage capacity of the internet is up to the task of keeping track of it all and offering some sensible selection. How many more biographies of Lincoln do we need?

The galloping horse is out of the barn and determining where the carriage goes, and publishers frantically try to keep grasp of the reins. They should be good Catholics and practice restraint or go blind.

But no visitors from Omaha?

Note from the Wicked Witch of Publishing ™: Hi, Andy. Since you asked! According to Google Analytics, 46-states, including Alaska and Hawaii, are represented in the traffic. Nebraska? Yes, Omaha, Fullerton and Lincoln! And I just discovered part of the source of the traffic—a link from RealityCarnival.com, “News that shatters the ice of our unconsciousness!” to The Publishing Contrarian. Wow, what a different and terrific Web site.

Lynne:

BTW, Rose Ruiz’s “success” was very short lived. Ultimately, it was a spectacular failure. She’s certainly not a good example of a clever, valid shortcut.

I liked the Marathon analogy and the Verazzano Bridge start photo - blow-up to 200,000 authors with laptops?

Too many voices crying in the wilderness, but the consensus seems to be that those who are heard will be the strong, self-marketers and the already established blockbuster writers - add Jeffrey Archer to the list, proving that potboilers can be page-turners. And yet, you and I and everyone knows that occasionally a quiet, small, serendipitous voice rises like cream to the surface, e.g. Lady Ranfurly’s memoirs!

Keep up the good work.

My first book was traditionally published. Billy the Butcher MacDougall’s Guide to Pirate Parenting: Why you should raise your kids as pirates and 101 ways how to do it, is my second book.

I wrote a book proposal for Guide to Pirate Parenting, and think I could have sold it to a traditional publisher. I was getting good feedback on the proposal. The problem was I wanted to launch Guide to Pirate Parenting before the movie, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, came out on May 25, 2007. I realized that wouldn’t be possible using a traditional publisher. The publishing process was going to take way too long.

So I wrote the manuscript and had printed copies of the book in less than three months, using Cold Tree Press, a POD company. I did most of the publicity for my first book and figured I’d have to do the same with my second, regardless of whether it was traditionally or self-published. And my royalty rate is a lot higher, too.

I have nothing against getting a good traditional publishing contract, if you can, but don’t believe it’s going to happen for most authors.

Tim

Note from the Wicked Witch of Publishing ™: Tim’s parenting advice has been published in dozens of newspapers, magazines and Web sites, including the Christian Science Monitor, Atlanta Parent, Big Apple Northwest Family, FathersWorld.com and ParentingHumor.com. His first book, In the Beginning…There Were No Diapers, was a 2006 Foreword Best Book of the Year finalist. Tim is also the director of the Erma Bombeck Writers’ Workshop. Tim’s “Anatomy of a First Book”: http://www.timbete.com/FirstBook.html. .

In the past 6 months I’ve had rejects from agents, most say: “I love this book, but don’t think if can sell it.” My intention was to donate all royalities to help in the rebuilding the public libraries of New Orleans. The book is the first in The New Orleans Trilogy - The Beatitudes -Traditional publishing will take too long. What do you think about my going with IUniverse and making sure all royalities (20%) go directly to the library system (www.nutrias.org for photos of the destruction) and I can be assured of distribution and availability on many book selling sites like amazon, etc. I will go on tour, and I already have support from many great authors on my blog -www.beatitudesinneworleans.blogspot.com. I grew up in New Orleans and my area (not far from Fats’ house) is now gone - it was near the levee. Thanks
Lyn LeJeune

Note from the Wicked Witch of Publishing ™: Hi, Lyn. Just because proceeds from a book are going to charitable organizations doesn’t mean anyone will buy the book. Why exactly do the literary agents and editors whom you’ve approached feel they cannot sell the book, even though they loved it. That’s the kind of comment you need to address BEFORE you approach another literary agent or editor and hear the same thing.

Lynne:

Having published our first book to moderate success, we highly enjoy your often controversial posts, and have subsequently nominated you a Thinking Blog.

Note from the Wicked Witch of Publishing ™: Well, thanks!!! 

Hi Lynne,

Two days ago I learned that the Picton Castle, the ship central to my narrative nonfiction adventure, Fair Wind and Plenty of It, is currently the set of a major new CBS reality show, called Pirate Master.

http://www.cbs.com/innertube/player.php?cat=135999&vid=136003&format=&auto=1

How do I make the most of this opportunity when the publisher’s publicity departments seem reluctant to return calls? It’s an older book (2 years) but it actually still sells in niche markets. Most West Marine stores carry it, for instance.

Note from the Wicked Witch of Publishing ™: Rigel, your publisher needs to rejacket your book right now and include references to this show. It’s only been two days so give it a week, then call again. You have to give the people in the pub house time to meet and get organized. They should contact the reality show. If Fair Wind & Plenty of It is publicizing a TV show on the book jacket, there may be some co-op advertising money to be had. (There should be!) Keep me posted. Loved your book, Matey!!!

I’ve already taken step one… the website, which a computer genius friend helped me set up. I’ve given a year towards getting the traditional publishing set-up, but from your post I can see the odds-against very clearly. I’m resigned to going POD with it in the fall and market it myself, since my enthusiasm for the book (and the enthusiasm of some fans who have read the manuscript) far outstrips that of the three agents who have seen it.(And turned it down) I can see doing the same with the next book, too (I do historical novels)… and marketing it to a couple of local museum bookshops.

What kills me about the genre stuff that does get published is how dreadful much of it is! I couldn’t read past the first chapter of a recent big-name blockbuster because I kept running into sentances that sounded like entries in the Bulwer-Lytton Bad Writing contest.

OTO, there’s home for me… if they could make it big with that kind of dreckage… then there is still hope for me!

I started a small-press publishing company about sixteen months ago, and I have yet to make any books returnable through national distribution. It’s madness. Oh, I’ve received the standard lectures “You CAN’T get your books into the big stores!” “No indies will buy your books!” Well, I have books shelved at Hastings, Barnes & Noble and Borders. I have books shelved at independents. What’s wrong with this picture?

Recently, I considered negotiating return policies on an individual basis with independent booksellers, in order to try to make sales more palatable. But even that didn’t meet with success! Because I tried to be very specific about how long the books had to be displayed, not stocked (we know how many people buy a book sitting in the storeroom!) and “only” gave them 120 days to return the books, I got a lot of negative flack from booksellers. I’m really curious about what they want? Total freedom from payment.

Oh, and I recently had a bookstore owner who bought new stock from me on Feb. 10… and notified me she had closed her bookstore at the end of February, and would be returning some books she had in stock. I reminded her of our “No Returns” policy and she still insists. Since she had not paid me for the previous stock, I was sort of stuck. I guess I’d rather get the books back along with a check for less, than to get nothing, but to say it pisses me off is an understatement! Didn’t she know on Feb. 10 that she was closing the store by the end of the month? Bloody poor businesswoman.

I have only published eight titles under my two imprints since starting out, but have plans for at leat five more this year. Accepting returns could be the death of a small press like mine. I have told the authors, “If you are willing to CONTRACTUALLY OBLIGATE to be fully responsible for the financial impact of any and all of your books that are returned, I’ll accept returns of your titles all day long.” Funny thing–none of my authors are willing to do so. Wonder why, when a couple of them are fuming about my not accepting returns?

“If nothing changes, nothing changes.”

I’m not sure I understand what, if anything, is really changing–my guess is nothing that hasn’t been changing for well over a year already. I’ve seen at least two Waldenbooks stores close up months ago. And I’m not sure what I’m missing here, but is a “Borders.Com” anything particularly new? For the longest time, it has come up as “Borders.Com Teamed with Amazon.” So they drop the “teamed with” and it’s a big new experience for them beyond the mechanics?

It would be my guess that, in the end, you’re going to see a continuation of the past with Borders, with minimal change in spite of their announcements. There will, I’m sure, be a lot of pomp and circumstance via press releases, but the emperor really won’t be changing clothes at all. And personally, I’m one of those who likes Borders fine just the way they are, at least at the consumer level. The elitist atmosphere of Bahhhnes and Noble is far too rarified for me.

Lynne:

How about the Borders Group folding half of all Waldenbooks stores here and all their UK stores?

Hey, Tony, I feel for ya. I really do. I have a small independent business to run too. A bookstore, in fact. I feel you’re unfairly singling out independents in your reply. I wouldn’t buy enough from any tiny publisher to put them out of business with returns; larger independents could, but they are a tiny minority. You know why your independent customer (and that is a pretty important word) is late with payment? It’s probably because she’s hurting too. It’s a cold cruel game at our size level these days, and if you want to play, you have to take a lot of risk for little prospect of reward. Don’t single me, the indie book store, out as the bad guy.

You want us to buy books non-returnable? (I’m addressing this to any publisher, by the way, not just you.) Fine. First, take the price off the cover. That just means I have to sell it at that price to make any money, while B&N can buy ten thousand and discount it. Let me set the price, based on my market. Second, you’re going to have to give us a lot better discount. And while your returns will vanish, your sales will drop.

Sorry we insist on returnability. But you can bet the big guys (and the big publishers) aren’t about to alter the status quo, and we have to play by their rules too.

So then I get the drift that Borders is not the place to start a relationship, because they are going to go the way of the dinosaur…especially since their coming into the game at the tail end.

I would really like to understand the logic of a man who is supposed to be so wisened! It seems easy enough for even me to understand!

As I have said about this small town - nothing ever lives, nothing ever dies.

Wow, visitors are pouring in from China, Argentina, Australia, Saudi Arabia, Japan, Pakistan, the Russian Federation…and for the first time, someone from Alaska! (Welcome!)

Google Finance just picked up the posting, too, and added it to their Blog Posts category in Borders Group, Inc. (Public, NYSE:BGP) AND Barnes & Noble, Inc. (Public, NYSE:BKS). (Thanks!)

Let’s look to the auto industry for inspiration. They don’t make money selling cars and trucks, they make money financing them, until recently at any rate. If the Borders guy came from Saks then he understands that his customer base buys on credit, floats the float, charges more, make the minimum payment. This is a debt driven economy and the book selling model is more of an equity play since the buyer receives a finished product in exchange for cash. We have to figure out a way to put book buyers into debt and then sell that debt to Morgan Stanley.

Booksellers: make your stores look like casinos. If people start browsing have your doormen beat them up.
Publishers: issue credit cards. Try to get new customers in debt before they leave preschool, otherwise brand loyalty is compromised. Remember you’re not selling books, you’re selling Collaterized Debt Oblgations.

Let’s get in the game, for Pete’s sake.

Lemmings! Why do we expect more from an industry that shows very little progress in innovative new ideas.

Dear Bonnie:

One of my favorite quotes:

“An executive is a man who makes decisions and is sometimes right.” - Mark Twain

The wisdom of most corporate executives lies in choosing the right busines school and getting the plum jobs, not in actual management.

How many CEOs have we heard about who leave companies worse off than when they were hired, but said CEO bails out with a golden or platinum parachute. Carly Fiorini (ex-Hewlett Packard comes to mind). Then they hire a pr team and a ghostwriter and pen a memoir depicting themselves as a “visionary.”

It’s difficult for a CEO to get the [truth] from anyone in a company when the bottom is falling out. That may be why Mr. Jones brought in men he had worked with in the past. Probably a smart move.

You tell ‘em, Lynne. Remember what Einstein said: The definition of insanity…doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.

Here’s an innovative idea. Why don’t the publishers start publishing good books for a change? And perhaps fewer books for a change.

The real problem is the consumer must wade through the molasses of mediocre books to find anything worth reading all the way through.

In the past two months, the three books in which I turned every single page and studied each one were a book of Carl Husling’s paintings and two books of photographs by a Mississippian named Kenneth Morgan. The rest of the 10 books stacked by my bed to read (and review) were wash outs. Two held my attention about half way through. One of those was a sequel and it was much better than the first book, which tells me there was no need for the first book. The others were flimsey and predictable.

I want something gooooooood for a change without foul language or explicit sex, please and thank you. If the industry would churn a few of those out, there wouldn’t be a need for a “return policy”, nor would indies sit on the edge of their seat, biting their nails at every customer who waddles down the aisles of their store.

Lynne, I admire your passion about this.

Mr. Jones, here’s a piece of good advice. Hire Lynne to be your idea person and then actually listen and execute. Your stockholders will thank you.

Note from the Wicked Witch of Publishing ™: Hi, Gina! Welcome back. Funny you should suggest to Mr. Jones that he hire me! Someone wrote into Publishers Weekly and suggested the same thing about eight months ago when PW covered Jones’ hire. I actually cheekily sent Gregory Josefowicz, former Borders ceo, an email in 2005 that was filled with great ideas for Borders. This past January I sent an email to George L. Jones, too. (This is how I often get consulting work. Actually, this is how I wound up at B&N Publishing Group in 2005.) The response from George L. Jones: “Good Morning: We do not have any senior level positions open at this time and I don’t anticipate any openings in the near future.”  Ok. They’ll just have to fend for themselves!  

This is the first post of yours I’ve read where I thought you really had something original to say. I’m not sure you’re right, but this is a darned good post!

Well, hello Mr Jones and goodbye Mr Jones. he too has fallen for the old trick of thinking there is more money to be made as a publisher than as a bookseller.

The challenge for Mr Jones was to get the Borders act together and put up a viable model for retailing.

He should have demonstrated to publishers what Borders could have done for them and signed up exclusive deals. Publishing under the Borders imprint won’t work. For one thing, in trade publishing out of 10, 3 bomb in the market and to get the viable 3, you have to publish a 100! What a pity. The Borders offtake could have made significant changes in publishers’ print-runs and Borders could have made the difference in retail, in terms of range and selection, as opposed to the Wal-Marts and Costcos of the world.

Now, I might understand Borders’s publishing thingie if its focus weren’t going to be first fiction, basically the worst game to be playing profit-wise. It seems they want to solicit novels from screenwriters, apparently operating under the delusion that people have heard of screenwriters or some such.

What it underlines is that nobody understands the book business from top to bottom, and the more you try to do, the thinner you’re spreading yourself. I mean, that’s true when a publisher’s marketing department is the same as the sales department, but when a bookseller tries to be a publisher too… yeesh.

And on the returnability issue, as Frazer says, it’s in the “big boys’” court; it’ll end when S&S, Holzbrinck, Random House, Penguin, Harper, and Houghton Mifflin say it does. But I wouldn’t go so far to say they “aren’t about to alter the status quo.” Maybe they aren’t RIGHT about to, but from what I’ve seen the gears are turning. They aren’t turning very fast, but 200 (or in this case more like 60) years of slavery aren’t gonna disappear in the blink of an eye.

Lynne,

(Yet) a(nother) sign of the times?

Russell

WW:

As friends of Bill might say, “A definition of insanity is to do the same thing over and over again and each time expect a different result.”

So many of the big publishers and book retailers play the same songs as the band on the Titanic, and no one is busy bailing. Even better would see that the iceberg of purely electronic publishing and distribution is getting closer and steer a smarter course while one can. I’ve been in some seemingly well-run Borders shops and I have nothing against the chain, but I don’t see what its new site will do that will lure me away from the “tradition” of Amazon.com.

By the way, Sterling was my first employer in book publishing. I started there on December 11, 1978 (when I was, ahem, 12) as a proofreader for the Guinness Book of World Records, which it published in the U.S. then. My desk was scorched, and I was told that I inherited it from someone named Rita Mae Brown, who had set fire to it and quit. It wasn’t long before I was collecting matchbooks myself.

What happened with Gregory Josefowicz, the former ceo?

How was this mess allowed to happen on his watch? Where is he today? Did he take the money and run?

Note from the Wicked Witch of Publishing ™: From Forbes.com: Gregory P. Josefowicz, age 53, has been a Director of PetSmart since December 2004. Since 1999, Mr. Josefowicz served as a Director, President, and Chief Executive Officer of Borders Group, Inc., and in 2002 he was also named Chairman of the Board. Mr. Josefowicz serves on the board of Ryerson Tull, Inc.

I’d like to echo Frazer’s comments. Small presses aren’t going to get rich off independents anymore, but we won’t bury you in returns either. Independents sell books, chains display them.
I too, insist on returnability, but I also keep inventory under control.
At sixty percent discount, a small press would never see another return from me. Not gobs of sales, but no returns.

I’m a Corporate and Educational Sales Rep at Borders. We were told a month ago that our jobs were being eliminated nationwide. I was offered a lower paying job back on the sales floor, which I declined. I was told my last day would be May 10th. But my boss has been vague about this. Now I’ve been offered a part time job and I don’t know if I can leave my Borders job to take it without losing my unemployment benefits entirely. My boss wants me to sign a voluntary letter of resignation. What should I do?

Let me add this off-topic shout out to Seattle’s Best Coffee. Here, here!

Borders does not have to fail. Stop trying to gouge the customer. Selling three year old DVD’s for $14.99 when the same at Walmart or Target sell for $9.00 or $10.00 bucks won’t bring the customers in. The same with CD’s.

Walmart is not a pleasant shopping experience but when you can save the price of a couple of gallons of gas by enduring the Walmart “experience” it makes sense to shop at Walmart. Borders should exploit this flaw in Walmart and go after the quantity it sells because the shopping experience at Borders is 1000% better than Walmart.

I won’t shop at Borders anymore because they basically screwed the customers when then replaced Borders Rewards with Borders Bucks.

Big Corporations have to realize that just because the CEO is making millions does not mean he has more common sense than the average Joe pulling in $20,000 a year. These are the common folks that usually bring these companies to their knees when they realize they are being taken advantage of or taken for granted.

Price, Quality, Inventory, Courtesy!!!!!! Borders has the last three nailed but if the price is to high the last three really don’t matter do they? If I want to buy the Godfather on DVD I’m going to Walmart and buying it for around $9.44. Borders would be around $14.99. For the difference I can pick up an extra item for $5.00. Sorry but 5 bucks is 5 bucks.

Picked up from Bookseller Chick’s blog …

“First off, for those of you who live in the greater Oregon area and would like some cheap books, the Clackamas Town Center Borders Express is being closed as part of Borders 200 store closing initiative. As of Friday all of their stock will go to 40% off.

Now, I can tell you from experience (and the fact that I had a long talk with the manager) that it will go no lower than this, but 40% is a damn good deal. They have a lot of stock left and it looks like they were still receiving shipments up until last week. Here’s a chance to go pick up some new books (or old books that you really wanted to read) at a very deep discount, so go spend your money.”

To Corporate Sales Rep
What is the reason they have given for eliminating Corporate & Education Sales Rep jobs at Borders? Is this being applied Nationally? Or are they just basing you back in stores, but you will be doing a similar role?

What is happening to the other Corporate Sales Reps? What state are you in?

All the Corporate Sales Reps lost their jobs nationwide. I was told that in our Region most employees took other jobs at their stores. The work done by Corporate Sales Reps is being taken over by the booksellers and inventory processing team. But my guess is that most of the work will still be handled by the same person, who is now in a lower paying job at the same store, with no commision. We used to get a $100 bonus for each month we exceeded the planned sales set by the organization. I don’t want to say what state I’m in, since I’m still trying to get unemployment from my store. I think this is like Circuit City firing lots of people and then letting them reapply for their jobs 10 weeks later at lower salaries. Most Corporate Sales Reps will take the lower paying jobs, and do most of the same work they used to do. After all, corporate purchasers much prefer to work with one dedicated employee who knows them and their needs. Now Borders is hiring salaried employees to oversee large corporate sales for several stores. Our store isn’t even adding one staff member to the sales floor or inventory processing team to replace me. The current staff are expected to absorb my work along with their own.

Thank you for your reply Corporate Sales Rep. It sounds like Borders is restructing and cost cutting and eliminating field sales reps. What will happen to the field sales manager then? Is the Corporate Sales division of the business a profitable one which brings in a lot of clients?

I can’t imagine that you will have trouble finding another field sales role, especially if you have been making plan successfully each month. I wish you luck and really would like to hear further on how your negotiations go with the organisation.

Hi fellow Borders Corporate Sales person. To your first question, consult a labor specialist, but since they are eliminating the position, signing a voluntary resignation letter may disqualify you from unemployment. I believe you need to be involuntarily laid off to qualify for unemployment. If you don’t want the in store position, do some research, but I would hesitate to sign the letter.

To interested person, the exact structure is still under wraps I believe, so I won’t be too explicit. However, do to sales volumes everywhere, the corporate sales program still exists but is being collected into fewer sales persons in each market. Corporate Sales rep is right however, the shipping and receiving tasks will be absorbed by the inventory team. Certain stores with high enough volume may still retain a dedicated staff person.

The Corporate Sales division is profitable, and does bring in business, unfortunately for us, the distribution does not reflect the cost. Hence smaller numbers of salespersons per market.

I second the best of luck, I’m not quite sure where all these jobs are that the drop in unemployment reflects.

I love Borders, even before I started working there. I know that the Rewards program has been fluctuating, but I have to note that a free program can’t screw anyone over. I miss some of the earlier features, but as my paycheck is based on how much money we don’t loose, I can’t say I miss them too much. The whole industry, as previously stated, is reacting rather than planning.

My disappearing role is based on trying to get the best price for customers on each book they buy. It’s damn hard. The publishers undercut us on a lot of non-commercial product. As an aspiring author, I certainly hope that this improves in the future. It’s just unfortunate that Borders is not as foresighted as we might hope. Above all, I believe in supporting retail, even if it means saving $5.00. I try not to use online unless I have to, or unless the product is entirely online. My food has more often than not come from people willing to spend that extra $5.00, and I appreciate it.

Finally to the Wicked Witch, that was an awesome article.

Do you have George Jone’s email? I have a few things to say to him myself!

Note from the Wicked Witch of Publishing ™: Actually…I do have his email address!

Dear WW: Right you are. Call me a prude, but I wouldn’t see any play or movie that had the v-word in it. My hoohaa is private and I’d appreciate it if other women kept theirs private, too. Now, about the naughty girls: saying you won’t do something someone objects to is a matter of keeping your word. You keep your word, you keep your integrity. The girls were foolish, but the onus is on the parents to raise their girls to be honest when they choose to speak out.

Lynne, I haven’t seen this or the play where guys do penis puppets. I think that latter might at least be funny. Maybe I should go see the Vagina Monologues, because I need material for the parody I am writing–The Boob Dialogues.

I promise that I will not mention civic duty in my inaugural address, because my black demo reacts badly when they think I’m being preachy. — JFK

I promise that I will not invoke the image of a vast field of bloody bodies in my speech, because it might upset the delicate sensibilities of the war widows. — Abraham Lincoln

I promise not to call descendants of western Europeans “whitey” and “the man” because I might be portrayed in the press as a militant radical, instead of as an agent of social justice, and that might get me shot by my opponents. –Malcolm X

I promise not to mention the inequities of ethnic discrimination in the US, because I might suffer personal harm, and it’s just not worth it. –MLK

I promise that I will not shelve “The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn” in my school’s library because some lace-doily-foisting bluehair might get her bloomers in a bundle. — Your kid’s school librarian

I promise that I won’t say ‘fuck’ in my novel, because Wal*Mart’s purchaser has a ‘fuck’ detector. — Thomas Pynchon, Steven King, et. al.

I promise that I won’t write to my elected representatives, because I’m afraid the government is watching, and I’ll be punished, somehow. –every good citizen who is currently doing nothing

I promise not to recite the Vagina Monologues, because I’m a good little girl who always does exactly as she’s told, just as my parents have taught me, through years of exposure to their dainty social cowardice: mindless obedience is more important than critical thought. –Your daughter

Good job, girls. The “truth” is a social contract. A breach on one side nullifies the obligations of the other side. The justification “young children might hear the word vagina, so don’t use it” is the kind of thing I would expect to read in a Hawthorne novel about Hester Prynne. It is the equivalent of telling children: “Be ashamed of your body.” The girls are all honor students — do you really think they’re going to hell in a hand basket over ‘vagina?’

And before you fire off that flaming reply, let me ask you this: what do you weigh, and how do you feel about your appearance in public? do others regularly use the words “confident,” “inspiring,” or “ennobling,” to describe your bearing? Does your closet have at least two outfits in it that you prefer for their “flattering” effect? Who made you feel that way?

YAWWWWN. It sounds like the children had some fun and now all the adults will spend a few days dancing the Chicken over it. And note: their little stunt confirmed that they are, yes, still children.

I’m not quite sure how tampons, douches, rape, menstruation, mutilation, masturbation, birth, orgasm and all the other of Ensler’s monologues tie into a high school presentation, but I’m sure the kiddies would have glibly fit all of them in had there been time (AND had they understood them). Kids love to shock for shock’s sake–who here is kidding themselves into thinking they had some high moral ground they were standing on?

Come on, folks. And I see these three little Barbies being compared to Abraham Lincoln, JFK and Martin Luther King????

Whether it’s streakers or obscene gestures or quoting something the school feels is inappropriate (wait till you get JOBS, children), these things will continue. But let’s recognize it for what it is–immaturity and nothing more. And give them the inattention they deserve.

The Today Show. What a waste. We have a war going on.

Note from the Wicked Witch of Publishing ™: Andrew is a retired California Highway Patrolman turned freelance journalist and author. He is editor of The Jimston Journal, “a quarterly online publication for the arts.”

That’s 181 words of inattention, by my count, Mr. O’Hara, and that’s not counting the YAWWWWN.

Also, “compared:” yes. Compared how is more a matter of reading for comprehension. As the publisher of a journal for the arts, I expected a sharper eye from you.

As you say, there is a war going on. What would you advise these three (very near) future American voters to do about that? Sit on their plastic doll hands and keep their painted mouths properly shut? You have the terms and exhortation of your argument upside down and backwards, respectively.

What you wanted, if you are so concerned about the war, was: “Well done, girls. Now, having proven that you have minds of your own and the will to use them, let me, an adult authority (owner of a press outlet), explain to you the difference between peevish expressions of obsolete personal taste in the arts and the applied theory of political speech manipulation. Here is how to use that provocative bravery of yours in aid of more relevant causes. [fill in sage advice here]”

You lost me at “Where’s the paddle when you need it?”

I think it would, however, be effective on you to knock some sense into your brainless head.

Note from the Wicked Witch of Publishing ™: Richard’s 10th volume of short stories, And to Think that He Kissed Him on Lorimer Street, was described by Kirkus Discoveries in 2006 as “A funny, odd, somehow familiar and fully convincing fictional world.” Richard lives in South Florida and New York.

(sigh) I will concede the point to Her Dyingbreedness. Far from this being a giggly prank thought up in the girl’s restroom, as I so cynically suspected, I am sure the epic deed for which these young women have , ahem, sacrificed so greatly places them with Abraham Lincoln and Martin Luther King—yea, with the gods.

More seriously, however, this was not a test of “free speech.” This is a pubescent mockery of it and cheapens the work done by those who have bled inside and out for its preservation and this very day rot in cells because they practiced it. This childish acting out in hopes of drawing adulation and television coverage is not courage. In fact, they show little more understanding of freedom than the bully who boasts, “It’s a free country.”

I have served my country as a soldier and a policeman and hell will freeze solid before I see anyone challenge my rights to speak out. But too many of you fail to understand that we are not a “free country.” We are a country based on “Liberty.” And “liberty” is the exercise of freedom with restraint and respect for the rights of others. These girls–no, these children–have missed the important part of their civics lesson, the part that deals with responsibility, respect, and the rule of law (and yes, in this case, for children, it was the rule of law).

When they grow up, they will have to learn that they can’t play in any sandbox they like just because “it’s a free country.”

Yanno, lastofadyingbreed and Andrew, neither of you seem to get it! They plain out and out LIED about what they intended to do. So therefore you think it was just childish whimsey.

I could give two rats asses about what they said, irregardless of that fact that it to, offended my sensibilities. The word vagina is just shock factor and that is all is was ever meant to be in this context.

But we’re raising another generation that think it’s okay to message the truth to fit their agenda. And with parents, and people like you both who dismiss the real offense here, our society will continue to go down the path of personal satisfaction that rejects the honesty principles that this country was founded on.

And don’t you dare give me that, “Get over it, crap!” When our executive branch of government hands you the same subjective truth, you yell to high heaven.

So I would hand back to you, the next time you accuse the president of telling a half truth, or fitting the words to his own agenda, I will remind you Andrew…children grown up to be adults, and you teach them how to treat you. And lastofadyingbreed, “The “truth” is a social contract!”

Sorry Lynne for going off, but lying and justifying it as personal freedom burns my ass with a flame about three and a half foot tall!

Note from the Wicked Witch of Publishing ™: Bonnie is the Director of the Christian Fiction Blog Alliance. She lives in Upstate New York.

“I declare these streets, any streets, my vagina’s country”

That’s not heroic. That’s bombast.
And one very big twat.
The end justifies the means, apparently.

There would be severe consequences for my child if she lied directly or indirectly to the principal of her school. A one-day, in-school suspension (detention) is laughable as a punishment. 

V. 

Oh, my God! Some teenagers lied to their principal! Whatever shall we do? Puh-leeze. Teenagers lie. It’s one of the things they do. I lied when I was a teenager, and I’m betting everyone who reads this did too. Teenagers also like to say things for shock value. Those of you who know teenagers might have noticed this. And yes, Bonnie, I AM saying “get over it.” Comparing two teens lying to their principal to what our government is doing to us every single day is both disingenuous and intellectually lazy.

Furthermore, Lynne, your discomfort with the word “vagina” kinda clashes with your previous defense of the use of the word “scrotum,” don’t you think? Vagina, like scrotum, is a perfectly honest non-perjorative clinical term. It’s not as if they said “pussy.” Aren’t you usually a defender of free speech?

And finally, and perhaps most importantly, isn’t this blog supposed to be about, you know, PUBLISHING? I come here (and recommend this site to others) for the insight on publishing, not for a non-story about how two teenagers pulled a fast one on their principal. Your more prudish readers seem to be eating this one up, but those of us in the book industry who read this for actual insight are scratching their heads or rolling their eyes.

Note from the Wicked Witch of Publishing ™: Hi, Frazer. You inspired me to go back and add a “Note from the Wicked Witch” that includes a list of Eve Ensler’s published books!  I also recommended three books in this posting. No, I don’t have any trouble with the use of the word “vagina” or “scrotum,” per se. I have a problem in this instance with the context in which Eve Ensler’s words were used. By the way, I don’t ever remember telling my parents a lie. [Frazer Dobson is an owner and handseller at Park Row Books in Charlotte, North Carolina. For the past 18 years Park Road Books has been voted “Charlotte’s Best” by readers and editors of Creative Loafing, the arts and entertainment newspaper.]

Then you’re a better kid than I ever was, Lynne! It’s part of testing boundaries. Mind you, when I did lie to my parents, I usually got caught and suffered the consequences!

BTW, it’s Park ROAD Books…..

Note from the Wicked Witch of Publishing ™: Whoops, I made the correction to Park Road Books.  [Check out Frazer’s literary blog. I find it to be exceptional: www.sibaweb.com/frazer.]

Perhaps this was all a deliberate ploy on their part to parlay some anticipated (and planned) publicity into fame and fortune? The teens have already achieved the former it seems: not so naive in my opinion. I’ll bet this isn’t the last we’ll hear of them….

Isn’t bombast better defined as the noisy presumption of special status in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary?

I read all of you in the “children should be seen not heard camp” to believe that on the day these particular three girls were born, the world started going to hell in a hand basket. As if your generation has a special status to claim some (undefined) moral high ground. As if in some invoked, milky-haloed past, political speech (read me again, for comprehension this time, the phrase “free speech” is first used by you, not me), was uttered only by pedestaled titans of virtue.

The imperative “grow up” applies here, only if you are currently oriented in relation to a reflective surface. These girls are playing the game of American Debate with a much more sophisticated grasp of the rules (current and real, not imagined or wished-for) than anyone I have read here.

“In the hopes of” Mr. O’Hara? I’d say they succeeded in getting that TV coverage, didn’t they?

Your (collective) white-knuckled grip on romantic fantasies of “truth,” “respect,” or “liberty” in the words above are symptomatic more of a desperation to revisit youths of your own, than any practicable advice for some (undefined) lost generation.

The members of these girls’ generation (currently aged 16, some of whom will be voting for President in 2008) are indifferent to your breed of indignant hand wringing over idealistic abstractions because they are playing a different game than you. They are playing to win where win is measured by attention that can be converted into gain. That is the game we have, and you opt out (into the good ole’ days fantasy land) at your own risk.

You are playing solitaire in some world that doesn’t exist, in which you don’t lie to get what you want.

When these girls and all those like them are vying for the elected privilege of governing this country, your kids will be the ones voting, and these girls, and those like them, will be the ones running, and winning.

You want to effect change in a “generation” you get control by motivating for action, praising initiative, then channeling it to go where you want (like they did in Basic, Mr. O’Hara?), not by issuing nostalgic temper tantrums. Don’t any of you people have kids?

Well, the play has never appealed to me, and I haven’t seen it. Don’t see a whole lot to get het up about though, compared with a lot of other plays and other “visual media” that feature a whole lot worse than the excerpt you provide (which, whether it was OK or not to go ahead and recite the lines after saying they wouldn’t, do sound somewhat poetic at least).

Today I heard that the BBC is being forced to remove the main revision/learning website that my daughters use. I am afraid that getting upset over a couple of lines of a boring-sounding play pales in comparison. Apologies if I am not my normal self, but I am reeling over this stupid, shortsighted, politically correct situation.

Note from the Wicked Witch of Publishing ™: Maxine Clarke is a mega-blogger. She authors seven blogs, mostly about her love of books, publishing, and the writing world. Petrona is her personal blog, which shares the life and thoughts of a mother of two living in the South of England. Maxine has been a science journal editor for most of her working life.

I love the irony here. These young women had to lie about reciting a line that actually contains the proper term for their genitals. In contrast, we have many of the rap and rock songs, performed by males, gracing the airwaves calling female genitalia anything but its proper name, Vagina.

Thank goodness, I’m a civil rights 1964/EEO generation baby and have never ever been ashamed to call my genitalia anything but its proper term.

Unfortunately, I’ve liberated myself to the point where I bandy about the P-word at times. Yes, I know it’s unacceptable in polite company but it’s so invigorating to say it instead of having some man say it within earshot.

Aside: Have you heard about blogtalkradio.com. I believe your blog is a perfect fit for the medium. I hope you will check it out.

“When these girls and all those like them are vying for the elected privilege of governing this country…”

Believe me, I can’t wait. As one wrote, their “self steam is good.” Works for me.

Prudish? You betcha and proud of it.

Let’s see… it’s okay to lie.

It’s okay to spout a falsehood if I want to speak freely.

Lying to the principal is not a bad thing. Since lying to the principal is not a bad thing, then it follows that it’s okay to lie to parents, the police, my boss, on my income tax form. So long as I get a lot of attention from my lying, that makes it okay. After all, it’s just fiction, right? It’s just a prank, right? No real consequences… chuck me under my chin and pat my head. I’ll grow up in to a fine, responsible, prudent and trustworthy adult.

Poppycock.

This is precisly why white collar crime is so prevalent: the false notion that the end justifies the means. Teenagers already have the mistaken presumption that nothing bad will ever happen to them, that they will never get caught and only other people get pregnant. Why encourage that?

For the record, Lynne, I’m the Lifestyles Editor of a newspaper in Mississippi and I’ve finished that blasted book. I seriously doubt I’ll get it published because I can make more money as an editor… and they don’t make a whole lot, either.

The above statement was for the fellow that complained this topic wasn’t “publishy” enough. It is a true statement, though, and not made just for the sake of free speech.

Note from the Wicked Witch of Publishing ™: Gina is a lifestyle’s editor in Mississippi. She has just finished her first book, Running from Shadows.

“Lying to the principal is not a bad thing. Since lying to the principal is not a bad thing, then it follows that it’s okay to lie to parents, the police, my boss, on my income tax form. So long as I get a lot of attention from my lying, that makes it okay.”

You were almost in the real world, there, Gina, right up to the end. What you were looking for was: “I’ll grow up into a competitive, self-aware, resourceful, realistic adult, who stands a chance of reaching a position of ownership or leadership, rather than a position of servitude; who won’t waste her life building fantasies about the past based on peasant-class guilt; who isn’t thanatoptically drunk on her own delusion that lying to the boss, the IRS, the spouse, the kids, or the police is not a daily necessity, or that everyone around me is not doing so on a regular basis.”

I admire all the stamina here. That death-grip on this hallucination of peasant-cuddle morality would have wrung my fingers loose long ago.
Is that you in the corner, Andrew? Gina?

Hello Lynne,

Without knowing these young women, it’s a bit of a tough call. On the whole, this seems more about shock, than addressing anything of substance.

I get the sense that Joan Didion or Doris Lessing presented with a similar platform would have merely read a perfectly worded essay and made a lasting impact; leaving a chimp like Bill O’Reilly demanding a dictionary.

I am amused.

A good post, Lynne! A hoo-haw over hoo-haw.

You are so wicked.

Bernita

Note from the Wicked Witch of Publishing ™: Bernita is from Ontario, Canada. Her blog,”An Innocent A-Blog—Journal of a Barely Post-Luddite Miranda,” is very funny.

As usual, I am having trouble coming down definitively on one side or the other on this matter, which I don’t think is a trivial one. There are hundreds of newspapers at high schools and colleges that are battling constantly for freedom of the press and not having school administrators dictate what can and can’t be published.

These girls were faced with a demand that was wrong. The banned word itself doesn’t really matter, it was the further erosion of free speech rights and students are the easiest victims. If they agree to the ban, their rights as Americans are emasculated (so to speak). Yet to say one thing and do another is not right either.

They should have invoked Sir Thomas More, who stayed silent on the question of Henry VIII’s second marriage which implied consent but under English law meant . . . silence, and more likely an objection.

The three girls in a way were silent by not giving a direct answer, and then when the opportunity arose they boldly asserted their free speech rights.

Mr. Clavin, misleading the principal was wrong. I think you are trying to whitewash that with intellectual blather about Sir Thomas Mo[o]re.

Some of this is waxing a bit personal, so I will bow out. Suffice to say that, if these lassies were indeed the Lincolns and Gandhis of tomorrow, they would already know the early-stage qualities that have set the greats aside from the mediocre.

Things like Responsibility.

Ethics. Humility. Strength tempered by compassion.

Judgment, self control, a sense of honor and responsibility.

Character.

Empathy, and a sense of right that goes beyond pride and self-promotion.

The list goes on. These little girls are, fortunately, little more than a blip of amusement on the screen after basking in their sought-after moment of fame. Fortunately for us, they will fade and be left to giggle about the incident at their slumber parties.

I will hazard to say that I do see young people of promise today exhibiting many of the above characteristings, but without the false humility and sense of bimbo-ish grandiosity your Barbies showed in this silliness. So yes, there is great hope. Next year, maybe the girls will try some graffitti from D. H. Lawrence. Hey, they’re on a roll.

It strikes me that it might be useful to contemplate the role integrity should or needn’t play in one’s comportment.

(For the record, my working definition of integrity is “unity of thought, word and deed.”)

LastOfADyingBreed apparently considers those who value integrity to be naïve, unsophisticated and superannuated. She implies that since some (many? most? all?) people regularly compromise their integrity, the attempt to maintain it is not just pointless, but puts one at a competitive disadvantage. Indeed, she anticipates a future that belongs to those to whom standards of integrity hold little sway and whose attainment of prominence and power will rest on how much more proficient they are in the art of deception than those against whom they compete. It would seem that from LODB’s perspective, we’re performing a service to our youth when we support their fledgling stabs at mendacity.

True, in some situations massaging or shading the truth seems more or less acceptable, even necessary. Perhaps President Bush provides the most remarked-upon recent example of speaking deceptively in order to achieve a desired goal. If you recall, shortly before the November elections, in response to a question, he stated unequivocally that Defense Secretary Rumsfeld would remain with him until the end of his presidency, only to fire Rumsfeld shortly afterwards. When asked about the apparent deception, Mr. Bush explained: “I didn’t want to inject a major decision about this war in the final days of the campaign, so the only way to answer that question and to get on to another question was to give you that answer.”

I guess to some extent the question is: if most adults, including the President of the United States, do it, shouldn’t we applaud high-school students when they do it, too? Shouldn’t we pursue a sort of “lowest common denominator” approach to high-school behavior, where any action is acceptable as long as it has a counterpart that is widely exhibited in the adult community?

Come to think of it, if the standard for what we teach in school is what people do as adults, then why bother teaching formal English, or algebra, or physical education, for that matter, since the bulk of the adult population speaks and writes colloquial English, relies almost exclusively on calculators and computers for computation, and is mostly sedentary. Conversely, should we perhaps encourage students to practice driving drunk, since in so many adult situations people drink and then drive when impaired?

In the case at hand, it seems to me we need to decide which of two incompatible life-skills we want our schools to teach:

Lying as a suitable means for achieving a desired goal, or

Truthfulness as the necessary means for maintaining personal integrity.

LODB falls on the side of the former along with, she claims, most current adolescents and young adults. How much of the rest of the population feels the same is anybody’s guess, but I’d say that the other side of the equation is well represented. (Perhaps there’s a third approach on the horizon: teaching how to lie your way to a goal without compromising your integrity along the way.)

That’s not to say that defiance of authority in high school is never justified. High school authorities can be arbitrary and capricious, and in some circumstances authority absolutely must be confronted, as was certainly the case during the civil rights era of last century. It seems a stretch to accept that the right to quote from The Vagina Dialogues approaches anywhere near that level of exigency, however.

Perhaps integrity just isn’t so important in this day and age. On the other hand, when push comes to shove, so much in our day-to-day life—not to mention in the business world and in our overall culture—depends on trust, that even if LODB’s assessment

Hey, it’s St. Patrick’s Day. I’m heading out to get liquored up, too. Will post comments when I get back. WWofP

Mark D. - Excellent comment and analysis.

Lynne - I agree completely that “The Vagina Monologues” is overvalued, to put it mildly. Out of curiosity, I once started watching a performance of it shown on HBO. I tuned out after about ten minutes.

– Lying as a suitable means for achieving a desired goal,

– Truthfulness as the necessary means for maintaining personal integrity.

Stop saying “should,” and live in this world for ten minutes. These ARE the incompatible values our schools are teaching and have always taught.

Should you snitch on your neighbor who dipped that girl’s pony tail in the inkwell or keep it to yourself and gain a new ally?

You almost shot your eye out with a bb gun: confess and lose the gun, or make up a story about an ice sickle?

Every kindergartner knows the answers better than any of you poor deluded souls who have nothing to offer but a self-absorbed recitation of your freshman Ethics 101 lecture.

In fact, you are so in love with lying that you are now capable of lying to yourself, and then, without a diagnosis of schizophrenia as far as I can tell, also believing yourself:

Why pick on Bush, Mark? Because you think there has ever been a president whose attainment of high office wasn’t based on his skilled mendacity?

Name him.

And while you’re at it, name me one Fortune CEO, for that matter.

Know why you won’t answer the question? Because there are none. Never have been. And that reality threatens your precious little candy land (see links to that pleasantly sleepy world, above.)

But, look. that might too harsh. You all have very delicate sensibilities. I wouldn’t want to break anyone’s metaphorical fingernails, or place any figurative peas under anyone’s stack of mattresses, not even of the most effeminately delicate of men among you.

So I take it all back. You all have the God-given right to screw up your kids’ lives any way you see fit. Please teach them that there is such a thing as The Truth. Teach them it is inviolable. Teach them to shut up and not ask questions. Teach them that authority comes from God, and they are not entitled to any. Who are they to question authority? Just little atoms of insignificant serfdom. Teach them that.

After all, where is my kid going to find enough mindlessly loyal campaign volunteers if you were to actually acknowledge your delusions? And what about her cabinet? And her staff?

Yes. You are right. You are all exactly right.

Hi Folks,

I’ve never commented here before but have found this dialogue fascinating. Before I go too far, let me say that I’m an ordained minister, so you may find what I have to say surprising.

What I see here are two different issues. Lying is the first issue. Yes, if the girls lied they need to pay the consequences.

But the really interesting thing is the use of vagina. I find it a bit humorous and ironic, as someone else mentioned, that a proper anatomical term is seen as such a lewd thing. I remember as a child being told to call my pubic area my “pee pee”. Are we still in such a puritanical mentality that we take something so normal and naturally a part of us and make it something we have to call childish names?

The five-year old daughter of a friend of mine went horseback riding with her parents and made the comment: “This tickles my vagina!” I laughed at first and then cheered that this little girl actually had been educated about her body and also felt safe enough to call it what it was and not be chastised for speaking it aloud.

It seems that we have all acquired a sense of shame about body parts that have to do with sexuality. I could write on and on about this. But the bottom line is that it’s time to stop acting like little Adam and Eve’s running out of the Garden of Eden in shame covering, and not speaking about, our marvelous and divinely created bodies. (Now don’t misinterpret this; I’m not saying that we should walk around naked in public) We should be proud of our bodies and be able to call a vagina a vagina. (it’s not a four-letter word, except of course when the other term is used which is not the anatomical term)

As far as the Monologues, haven’t seen it so can’t comment.

Enjoy the day everyone!

Mr. Mark D and The Reverend Ms. Golden,

Thank you so much for both of your perspectives! I originally came back to respond to Mr. Mark D. Mr. Mark D your perspective is thought provoking and refreshing. It’s the kind of commentary that remains, long after the page is turned.

AND THEN-

Reverend Golden, your comment blew me away because of your unique perspective. Wonderful.

The girl’s suspension has been rescinded.

“The girls’ suspension has been rescinded.”

Like that’s a surprise? Name a time in the last 20 years when any child has been held responsible for their actions by our impotent school system short of gunning down fellow students. Somehow they’re able to muddle through the latter moral dilemma with no problem, bless their hearts.

why this is not a trivial issue, nor an isolated incident, nor, as some would have it, a partisan sorting device. It is a matter of whether we want the game we have (lie to get what you want) to remain veiled, so it can be controlled by those willing to engage in it without naming it, or acknowledged (see my bb gun post above) so that our kids can benefit from our honest guidance regarding its ethics.

Lying ethics is an oxymoron.

Mark D… excellent, intelligent post. I commend you and admire the way you think. Thank you for that refreshing splash in my face.

I agree that we should call body parts what they are and forget the childish nicknames. But, I do not, nor ever will believe that an open, school assembly is the proper place to talk about those body parts regardless of what they are. There is a proper place and time for that discussion. Open Assembly is not one of them.

Again, my apologies. I didn’t realize that I was commenting to an audience of devout Buddhists (or Sikhs, or Hindus, or whichever of the dharmic faiths you each practice). The above close-reasoning which ends with an invocation of Karma as the highest intellectual rationale in our debate has changed my mind. I’m off to join my local Temple, so I can get in touch with my Tariki. Maybe that will help during the Supreme Court hearings.

New Supreme Court Justice Alito, especially, should be moved by that argument.

Dear Wicked One:
Cut humiliter opinor……
As a celibate groupie of her “witchness” I’m slightly dismayed that she has forsaken her publishing roots and amusing book banter in favor of “the genitalia of the week.” Scrotums here, vaginas there, what shall April bring us, clitorides and foreskins? Can you get this likeable and often informative blog back on track? Or, are Anna Nicole Smith’s departed breasts (boobs, titties, knockers) coming soon to the Publishing Contrarian?

And dear Lynne, have you hugged a book today?

Brother René
Advocatus Diaboli

Q: What kind of principal would give the green light to put on a play called the Vagina Monologues, then try to censure its lines?
A: A well-meaning idiot

Q: What kind of teens would agree to do the play, (wanted to do it) tacitly agree to censure, only to renege and say the lines anyway?
A: Smart-ass, normal teens

As an adult, the principal should have either agreed to the whole play or forbidden it, but not condone censorship, which is abhorant. (and ridiculous in this case)
The teens were just being teens. Don’t teens rebel as a matter of course? Thank goodness for youth and teens!
What I can’t understand is the media fuss surrounding this. Now that’s ridiculous.

[…] I agree with Bill Peschel. Lynne Scanlon is really missing the point about the Vagina Monologues debacle. Besides, what were these girls supposed to do? Tell the principal that they would, in fact, say the word “vagina” and then have the show canceled? […]

Note from the Wicked Witch of Publishing ™: Um, Ed, actually Bill Peschel agreed with me that I was right in pointing out what everyone else missed (or ignored!)—that Hannah Levinson, Elan Stal and Megan Reback lied to the high school principal. And the show would not have been canceled. Recitation of lines from The Vagina Monologues was only one of the “acts” on open-mic night.

I stand corrected - but I do think that the principal was at fault. Agreeing to a part of the monologues while trying to censure it was a mistake. He should have either given his complete accord or forbidden it outright.
As a former teen, I can sympathize with the girls. As the mother of three teens, I can sympathize with the principal. (But I believe he handled it wrongly.)

And as for lies - we seem to be living in a land where lies are rewarded. There is a president who lied repeatedly and yet he is still in office, and his shares in the oil and arms companies are making him obscene amounts of money. Seems silly to start pointing the finger at three teenage girls, doesn’t it?

It’s the principal’s fault? Actually, I thought he told them they could NOT participate in the open microphone night and read the lines in question. How unclear is that? I think a hair just got split.
Yes, we do seem to be living in a land where lies are rewarded. You get an appearance on The Today Show.

Vivian–Mother of Two Children

“Besides, what were these girls supposed to do? Tell the principal that they would, in fact, say the word “vagina” and then have the show canceled? […]”

No, they should have fought the principal’s ruling, if they thought it unreasonable, by some more above-board means: getting together a petition, say, or even approaching the media with it. But I think Lynne is right to fault them for lying about their intentions.

if anyone gets offended by something like “vagina” then that really sucks for them, i guess. if they can’t deal with a basic part of humanity’s anatomy and sexuality, then they need to evolve.

“Sometimes you have to look reality in the eye–and deny it.” Garrison Keillor

My first reaction is $200, but I usually go low. Might depend too on what you know the person could afford.

Lynne, this is so right. As a professional editor for the world’s top science journal, I endorse what you say: quality costs. You just cannot be serious about writing anything and regard your words as so wonderful that the world is just waiting agog to read them. You need the feedback, the editing, and to do the revisions from independent assessors. And that costs.

I also agree that the amount reviewers get paid. $300 is generous. But fair—to read and comment on a book–length piece is several days’ work, at the proper professional level necessary for commercial publishing.

Otherwise, go POD and stop asking your dinner companions for free labour!

Note from the Wicked Witch of Publishing ™: Maxine Clarke is a mega-blogger. She authors seven blogs, mostly about her love of books, publishing, and the writing world. Petrona is her personal blog, which shares the life and thoughts of a mother of two living in the South of England. Maxine has been a science journal editor for most of her working life.

What Her Wickedness says is true indeed, but in order to complete this picture it must be pointed out that it will still be one person’s opinion and, even if good, means nothing as far as getting it published. The fact that your paid reviewer (even if it is, yes, your local college teacher) had the well-worn Ben Franklin glasses and good literary hair won’t help much, unless he’s willing to spring for a few good connections. Then we’re talkin’.

To understand what happens where it really counts—at the agent or editor’s office, where good manuscripts may get 15 seconds or two minutes, whichever comes first, read Michael Allen’s brilliant “On the Survival of Rats in the Slush Pile” at http://www.kingsfieldpublications.co.uk/rats.html

Note from the Wicked Witch of Publishing ™: Andy, I disagree with you. If you pick the right reviewer with some strong credentials (which might well include being an author, too), his or her comments would carry weight. And, of course, you are correct that, ideally, if the reviewer liked the manuscript he or she might make a call for the writer. I find, however, that most people are hesitant to step forward and stick their necks out. [Andrew is a retired California Highway Patrolman turned freelance journalist and author. He is editor of The Jimston Journal, “a quarterly online publication for the arts.”]

I mow my own freaking lawn.

Such people are a pain, and probably the sort who will also buttonhole a doctor at the buffet and want him to look at that mole on their back.

Nevertheless, such an opinion is still one person’s subjective taste.

And I’m not sure any agent or publisher would be impressed by a paid-for review. 

Note from the Wicked Witch of Publishing ™: Bernita is from Ontario, Canada. Her blog,”An Innocent A-Blog—Journal of a Barely Post-Luddite Miranda,” is very funny.

I think the book ought to go through a critique group (thinking Critters Critique or Zoetrope online studio here) before it goes to a 300$ a pop reviewer. I read slush, and only about one manuscript in ten is worth going past the first paragraph. Most authors write in a vacuum and it’s a pity. If you have access to the internet you have access to critique groups, writers’ workshops, the whole Strunk and White ‘Elements of Style’ is online, I believe.

“Thank you also for writing out loud what many of us have wanted to tell author wannabes. ‘Hire an evaluator’ is excellent advice.”

Marydell

(Picked up from Bookblog.) 

I think it can be simpler– and less expensive– than that. I’m not a fan of reading an entire manuscript for critique. I prefer the one page cover letter, one page synopsis (yes, one page) and the first couple of chapters. This tells me if the author has a good idea (cover letter), good story (synopsis) and solid writing. Reading the next 350 or so pages ends up with a lot of repetition on things like point of view, character development, dialogue, etc. Also, doesn’t this sounds a lot like what you would send an agent initially?

For those who are interested, Jennifer Crusie and I are conducting a free (yes, free) on-line novel writing wprkshop on our blog for all of 2007 at www.crusiemayer.com/workshop.

Note from the Wicked Witch of Publishing ™: Thanks for dropping by, Bob. I agree that the query letter, synopsis and first few manuscript pages are what an agent or editor want to see—and all three items better be terrific at-a-glance or you know what happens! However, this posting is about the step writers should take BEFORE approaching yet another literary agent or editor. Writers need to find out if they have a marketable product to offer a literary agent or editor in the first place. Don’t you agree?   

I’m a freelance book reviewer (most of my reviews are for Frank Wilson at the Inquirer). From time to time I get requests from authors to read their work, but the approach is usually, “Hey, check out my book (self-published) and review it for the newspaper.” I say no because I can’t afford to spend time reading and writing a review for free (and, of course, I have little control over getting my review published). If someone did offer me to pay me, then, hell yeah, I’d read their manuscript. As a reviewer, I’m a professional reader. I get paid to read books and give my opinion. I’d be more than willing to read someone’s manuscript and give a 750 word review for $300.

Why is it that writers seem to think that a “free lance” book reviewer CANNOT be objective or won’t be objective just beause he or she is being paid?

“What you get for your money: a professional critique of your work. I can’t get you an agent. I can’t get you a publishing deal. I don’t know if an agent or publisher would be more willing to read your manuscript if you have had it reviewed by me. I can only offer you an honest assessment of your work which you you can use (or not use) to better your manuscript. ”

Ed Pettit

(Picked up from The Bibliothecary posting today called “Will Read for $.”)

Note from the Wicked Witch of Publishing ™: Thanks, Ed, for the link and your comments in reference to ”Wannabe Author Syndrome.”

Why do some writers bristle at the thought of hiring a reader? I think there’s an attitude among some unpublished writers that goes something like, “What makes you so special?”

I believe that until the untried writer goes through a critique group or two, he or she will never appreciate the comments a paid reviewer makes. Critique groups bring a bit of reality to the table, gearing the writer up for what paid professionals can offer.

With critique groups, I suggest entering a group of no more than eight total members, preferably of like genre, with at least two writers who are more advanced in their writing abilities than you. The general rule of thumb in a critique group is, “If three or more folks say ‘dump it’, for gawd’s sake dump it.”

With paid professionals, do your research. Take suggestions from smarties like our darling Wicked Witch. Then take your paid professional’s comments to heart. You’ll need to lock away your ego, roll up your sleeves, and be prepared to face the fact that there are actual crappy scenes in your (eek!)less than perfect manuscript. Make two copies of your work. Leave one file as is, then slice away at the other with a sharp machete. Simple in theory, rather excruciating in practice.

Note from the Wicked Witch of Publishing ™: Welcome back, Kelsey! [Check out Kelsey’s creepy home page! T. T. the cat ran from the room. Kelsey lives in Wisconsin.] 

“NO! The answer is NO. I will not read a total stranger’s manuscript. I will not spend hours and hours curled up reading a manuscript or an online book unless I know the writer and for personal reasons want to make the time available to read his book.”

Er, Lynne, so why did you read - and critique - mine? Which was, incidentally, one of the most generous things anyone has ever done for me.

Note from the Wicked Witch of Publishing ™: You mean why did I subject myself to hours and hours of writhing in my chair in front of the computer reading your online book, A Half Life of One, and cursing your name? Because I made a huge mistake: I read the first few paragraphs out of idle curiosity about online books, and got hooked, big time. I got so frightened reading the story, I had to stick around for the finish to find out if that woman was going to be okay. I still haven’t recovered from the ending.

$300 would be the minimum I would charge, and even at that price, it would be cheap. I wouldn’t mind the fact that the manuscript could possibly be really lousy so much as I dislike reading manuscripts. (It’s so much easier and faster to read a typeset, bound book or galley. Slogging through anyone’s ms is tedious.)

Considering that the going rate for most newspaper reviews is around $150-$200, $300 for this seems quite reasonable.

I did this for my novel back in 1994 before I tried to get an agent. But it was an editor not a reviewer I paid.

And I think it’s a really smart smart idea.

Note from the Wicked Witch of Publishing ™: M.J. Rose is the author of Lip Service, In Fidelity, Flesh Tones, Sheet Music, The Halo Effect, The Delilah Complex, and her latest, Venus Fix. She is also a contributor to Poets and Writers, Oprah Mag, and The Writer Mag. Rose has appeared on The Today SHow, Fox News and The NewsHour with Jim Lehrer.  You know her blog, right? Buzz, Balls & Hype.

Yes, join a critique group, particularly of the “junkyard dog variety,” as Miss Snark so aptly puts it. Or take a writing class online or in person; there are a gazillion of them out there.

I’ve read slush, most of which was absolutely god-awful. One can usually tell in the first paragraph–at the most in the first page–whether the writing’s any good.

After having reviewed books for nearly 20 years, I haven’t the patience nor fortitude to be the first reader of a wannabe authors’ work. All too often, the wannabe doesn’t truly want an honest critique, but to hear how wonderful their writing is. Then when the reviewer gives an unvarnished opinion, the wannabe gets all huffy and defensive, and argues that the reviewer is wrong. $300 isn’t enough for this kind of headache.

Another thing: I doubt that many book reviewers want to be hit up by strangers to critique their unpublished manuscripts. I’ll ask around at the National Book Critics Circle meeting this week.

Note from the Wicked Witch of Publishing ™: Bella is a writer and consultant to the Virginia Festival of the Book. Formerly the book editor for Albemarle magazine and a long-time contributing editor at Publishers Weekly, she has also reviewed books for Entertainment Weekly, People, The Wall St. Journal, Washington Post, Chicago Tribune, San Francisco Chronicle and other publications. She is a member of the Authors Guild, National Book Critics Circle and the National Press Club.

P.S. You’re dead right about the “too cheap” stuff. See my blog post How Much Is Your Career Worth?

Lynne, I was caught up in your dinnertime story thinking perhaps the manuscript in question might have been set alight by a waiter or blown through midtown by an errant breeze, which could’ve happened after you’d said yes and the manuscript was in your care, custody, and control, creating a “bailment” situation wherein you, having lost the manuscript, would have to type 300 pages of something, mail it to the author with a note attached ( “I really liked it”) and then await the inevitable cross-examination “You liked the talking toads?” Oops no toads in the original.

When I want someone to read a manuscript of mine, I like to set the stage a little: New Jersey pine barrens with my pal Bruno and plenty of baseball bats. Funny how the Lousiville Slugger gets a critic gushing with praise. “This is good, no, honest, this is really good. Love the toads, dude.”

Note from the Wicked Witch of Publishing ™: I’m still laughing! David Thayer is a contributor to January Magazine. He writes crime fiction and thrillers. His first book review for the Philadelphia Inquirer will be published this month.

An agent or editor will, I think, only be impressed by an enthusiastic recommendation from a Big Name Author, and they don’t spend their time doing freelance critiques.

Note from the Wicked Witch of Publishing ™: Really, the critique is meant for the writer’s eyes only. I do not recommend hiring a reviewer for the sole purpose of hoping to get something to show a literary agent. The review is meant to help determine whether the writer has written a commercial book. Period. I do disagree with you, though, that the only recommendation that would be taken seriously must come from a “big name author.” Any credentialed reviewer’s critique would carry weight, I think. 

I doubt any “credentialed reviewer” would allow his/her critique to be used to market a manuscript–unless to the reviewer’s own literary agent. And maybe not even then.

Note from the Wicked Witch of Publishing ™: Bella, I agree. Permission would be required. That should be made clear between the writer and the reviewer.

I would feel uncomfortable about that aspect of it, too. I don’t mind giving a blurb to someone I know, but I’m not sure I’d want the manuscript of someone I don’t know circulating with my endorsement on it.

As both a writer and a magazine and newspaper editor with long-term experience in working with writers, I can’t imagine sending any unpublished work to a publisher without having my piece read–AND edited by an experienced editor. Sending it to a reviewer is a good idea, but I’d take it a step further and hire an editor. To those writers holding back from a serious critique: Don’t you want your manuscript to shine before you send it off to an agent or publisher? Every writer needs a sharp, but compassionate editor.

David,

Barring a distortion of said endorsement, I don’t see how that’s a problem. If I read a manuscript or self-published book and really like it, then I’d be happy to see that writer have the book published. And if my endorsement carried any weight (which is doubtful anyway) then, yippee, glad I could help get it into more readers’ hands.

Re Bella Sandler’s comment: “I’ll ask around at the National Book Critics Circle meeting this week.”

I suspect some would be interested, some wouldn’t, though it’s hard to say what the proportion might be. But she would be performing a valuable service if she kept track of the names of those who would be interested in doing it and made it available.

WW:
I confess that something I was not at all prepared for as a published author is being approached by strangers and (barely) aquaintances to read their unpublished work. Hey, let’s face it, you rarely have the time or inclination to read the work of friends let alone others. It’s probably a bad idea anyway because you either lose a friend by giving a bad evaluation or by not being honest you doom the friend to pursuing what can’t be attained. Prospective authors really should factor in the cost of an objective evaluation BEFORE sending a manuscript or a proposal to an agent.

Note from the Wicked Witch of Publishing ™: Tom, I see you are back from your book tour! Welcome back! I hear that Halsey’s Typhoon is hovering around number 22 on the New York Times Best Seller List.

Some of the links I found to this posting:

Grumpy Old Bookman
Jacketflap
Web Writer by Petrona
Books, Inq. (See Frank Wilson’s comment. He’s the book critic for the Philadelphia Inquirer.)

Fran’s Writing Whatever (VERY unhappy with my post!)
Book Blog
An Innocent A-Blog (VERY unhappy with my post!)

BRAVO!!!! Just because someone got a B+ on a 5th grade composition, they think they’re “writers”. You really nailed it!!!! And just because THEY spent three years creating their masterpiece, they expect everyone they come in contact with to spend their precious time reading their precious work!!! I seriously doubt if they would work for free on someone else’s project…

Thank you for expressing my frustration with “authors”.

Note from the Wicked Witch of Publishing ™: First-time visitor! Welcome. Corinda is a marketing consultant for authors John Edwards (yes, that Edwards, the psychic!), Fern Michaels, Stella Cameron and Jim Baen. Corinda has also sung back-up for Bruce Springsteen (in concert and on the CD, The Rising) as a member of the group “The Alliance Choir.”

I’ve had a bunch of reviews published, though I’m hardly what you’d call a “top-tier” reviewer. I’ve never had anyone approach me to critique a manuscript, but I’m consistently amazed at the number of people who go to great lengths to dig for my contact info so they can ask me to review their book.

Bill

Note from the Wicked Witch of Publishing ™: Hi, Bill! Welcome. Thanks for stopping by. [Bill has published articles in Epicurean Online, AllRecipes.com, Burnt Toast  [WWofP: My type of cooking!], as well as Air & Space, Billboard, Christian Science Monitor. Book review credits include a column in the Australian science mag, Cosmos, and reviews in Apex Online, Kansas Mag, Horror Quarterly, and Ultraverse.]

BRAVO!!!! Just because someone got a B+ on a 5th grade composition, they think they’re “writers”. You really nailed it!!!! And just because THEY spent three years creating their masterpiece, they expect everyone they come in contact with to spend their precious time reading their precious work!!! I seriously doubt if they would work for free on someone else’s project…
Thank you for expressing my frustration with “authors”.

Corinda

PS BTW, when I first saw your line “Wicked Witch of Publishing,” I thought you were referring to Judith Regan. You should call yourself:  ”The High Priestess of Publishing!”

Note from the Wicked Witch of Publishing ™: Corinda has done book marketing for John Edwards (yes, THAT Edwards!). Fern Michaels, Stella Cameron and Jim Baen. She is also a back-up singer for Bruce Springsteen.

Dear Wicked Witch,

As a (yes, published) writer and poet by night, but a poor and starving online reviewer/editor by day who’s paid NOT to tell the God-honest truth, I applaud your advice — sound in every respect, including the thud it’s bound to receive from dear-old-writer’s-Mum/Mom.

Honest reading/reviewing is work. And honest work generally receives at least an honorarium. But caveat poeta/scriptor. You want plaudits from the hands of paid claqueurs? Pay cheap. You want truth? Pay dearly. $300 for an honest review is cheap at any price…including $300.

Russell (Bittner)
Brooklyn, New York, USA

Note from the Wicked Witch of Publishing ™: Some of Russell’s prose or poetry can be found at The American Dissident, The Lyric, Ink-mag, Showcase, Deadmule and Underground Voices. By the way, Russell’s comment about reviewing books and NOT telling the “God-honest” truth in a published review is something I might tackle in another posting. 

Provocative but right, as usual. Have mentioned it today.

Michael

Note from the Wicked Witch of Publishing: Michael Allen’s blog, Grumpy Old Bookman, is rated one of the top ten literary blogs, worldwide, by The Guardian. He also owns and operates Kingsfield Publications and is the author of several books, including How & Why Lisa’s Dad Got To Be Famous and On the Survival of Rats in the Slush Pile (”the truth about writing and publishing”). Michael lives in Wiltshire, UK.

I actually think $300 is dirt cheap.

WW of P

When you consider the cost of attending any writing workshop or conference–which so many struggling writers elect to do–$300 for a detailed professional opinion on whether or not a novel is fit for representation/publication does seem cheap. A better use of those dollars, in fact, as long as the paid reviewer is a truly qualified reader of one’s work.

Seems to me this is key: writers should try to hire someone who has reviewed a lot of the sort of fiction they’ve written. Having taken grad school fiction, novel, and non-fiction writing workshops, I am acutely aware of how important it is that the critiquer “gets” what the writer is trying to do. Aware, too, of how subjectivity can affect a critique–which is why I think pros are better choices than profs (though some of them are terrific).

Most professional reviewers can weigh in on the quality of the prose and the effectiveness of the storytelling, but unless they understand the conventions of the genre (if the work in question is genre) they aren’t the best judge of the work. So yeah, I say, writers, hire the best-qualified person available, and then hide under your desk until the feeling of terror passes and you can face the feedback that will, if heeded, get you closer to your goal.

Interesting advice. When I finished my manuscript I had it assessed by a profesional. Yes I did pay my $300. Their advice was that the manuscript deserved to find a publisher. It was favourably compared to Douglas Adams and Jasper Fforde (yipee!). Then I hired an editor and had the manuscript professionaly edited. Several hundred dollars later I have a manuscript ready for publication. So far I’ve got two rejections and one no-reply from editors here in Australia - yes I did include a synopsis and a copy of the review in my submissions. I’ve also had friends read the first chapter. Without exception they have all asked to read the rest. So where do I go next? Perhaps a name change to make the book cover more marketing-friendly?

Note from the Wicked Witch of Publishing ™: Type “slush pile” in the search feature on the right-hand sidebar. You’ll find previous posts that should help you.

There’s also a third path for the impecunious writer: ask a dozen of your friends to read Chapter 1. That’s not too much to ask - it probably only takes about 15 minutes. It’s also valuable because if your first chapter doesn’t hook people, it doesn’t matter what happens in the rest of the book.

If some of those dozen friends ASK to read the rest of the book because they’re hooked, they can give you a book critique afterwards. If no one asks to read the rest… well, there’s your critique right there.

Note from the Wicked Witch of Publishing ™: Excellent idea!

Somewhere buried in the book, put a test or two to make sure the reviewer read the whole thing!

For example,

“I was born in fortunate circumstances in the American South, and I am just old enough to remember the end of overt segregation. Raised in a respectful environment, I didn’t really begin to understand prejudice and stereotyping until I moved north. There, I found that as soon as I opened my mouth I was ignorant, bigoted, uneducated, and all the other fantasy attributes of the southerner. So I began to “get it” in a direct and personal way reviewer, code word to get paid is hallmark. And I thought I understood the anger and sense of rejection that segregation caused.”

In Exmoor, I saw that a million people had just been made second class citizens in their own country. Parliament told my hunting friends (and me) that we aren’t wanted. Our contributions, our efforts, our way of life are all rejected. Our membership in the very society is revoked unless we stop being ourselves and accept our place.

This book was published in November…and now the brouhaha over scrotum? Well, I guess you can’t expect librarians to read every book they order.

“Nuts” to that!

Aw heck, you want to find a gimmick to draw attention, right? How do you think “Walter the Farting Dog” stayed on the best seller lists for over a year? People loved saying the word “fart” and watching their kids giggle about it. Literature. This might have rocketed to #1 had the author had the foresight to name it “The Higher Power of Scrota.”

Actually, though, this book DOES look quite good and appears to have had some very creative thought put into it–far more than I can say for “Walter.” I doubt the s-word people are dithering over was even necessary to its plot or quality. In fact, the kids who enjoy the book probably will skip right over it. But there it is, and it will help keep the book in the center ring for a while. Maybe deservedly, for a change. (And school librarians? Eh–who listens to them?)

Note from the Wicked Witch of Publishing ™: Andrew is a retired California Highway Patrolman turned freelance journalist and author. He is editor of The Jimston Journal, “a quarterly online publication for the arts.”

Once again I find myself thankful that I live in enlightened Massachusetts. And at least all of this gave me a chance to quote my 5-year-old son using the word penis as a measuring stick … and, no, not the way an adult might. … BTW, I believe that pic of the squirrel is what launched DIGG.

http://www.networkworld.com/community/?q=node/11631

Note from the Wicked Witch of Publishing ™: Hi, Paul! Nice to see a new face. (Send me a jpg and I can post your image!) I first saw that shot of the squirrel in 1999! You can tell he has a lot of natural talent! (Paul is an editor at Network World News online and writes the Net Buzz column.)  

This is ridiculous.

What century is this?

Why the fuss over a perfectly respectable word that any kid can find in a dictionary and further hear much less polite ones anywhere any time.

Note from the Wicked Witch of Publishing ™: Bernita is from Ontario, Canada. Her blog,”An Innocent A-Blog—Journal of a Barely Post-Luddite Miranda,” is very funny.

Maybe they are not able to get enough oxygen to the brain in Durango, Colorado.

When I was a little curmudgeon, there was a picture of a man with severe elephantiasis who had to carry his scrotum and contents around in a wheelbarrow. I don’t remember where we saw the picture, but both boys and girls in schoolthought it was hysterical.

Unfortunately, I do not remember where the picture was, and a Google Image Search does not find it. All the girls who saw the picture ended up as prostitutes, and all the boys became congressmen.

Note from the Wicked Witch of Publishing ™: He’s baaaaaaaacccccccck! 

This is hysterically funny…or sad, depending on your point of view. I think I can truthfully say that even the Christian community wouldn’t have a problem with that word!

*snort* Maybe this librarian woman is a spinster who was scared by a scrotum in her younger years, and had dedicated her life to busting nuts! LOL!

Note from the Wicked Witch of Publishing ™: Bonnie is the Director of the Christian Fiction Blog Alliance. She lives in Upstate New York.

uh….., “delicate, delicate, carpe scrotum”……………. por favor!!

The scrotum incident would have made an excellent Star Trek episode wherein Kirk and the crew are imprisoned on a seemingly pleasant planet ( Durango) ruled by a deranged librarian. Just when it appears that all is lost, Mr. Spock says scrotum and Durango explodes but will its negative energy appear on other planets not safeguarded by minions of the Dewey Decimal System? Is an ever expanding vocabulary a threat to universal harmony? Well, that’s why we patrol the vastness of space beyond the Stern cloud and these dreadful Latin words.

Note from the Wicked Witch of Publishing ™: David Thayer is a contributor to January Magazine. He writes crime fiction and thrillers with the intent of getting them published. It is his hope that Einstein’s theory of doing the same thing over and over in the expectation of a different outcome is wrong. His first book review for the Philadelphia Inquirer will be published in March.

This beauty was found at Huffington Post today:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/benjamin-r-barber/keeping-america-scrotumf_b_41622.html

Needless to say, as a left-leaning bookseller, it is my mission to deliver as much pornography to my customers as I can, to indoctrinate Godly people to our unholy lifestyle, so I got on the phone to my Simon and Schuster rep as soon as I could. “Send me fifty!” I bellowed. “And anything else dirty ya got!”

Hmmm, come to think of it, Simon & Schuster also publishes “And Tango Makes Three,” recently controversial in our school system, which subliminally pushes the homosexual agenda through a seemingly innocent tale of two penguins adopting a penguin chick. I salute you, Simon and Schuster, my dark masters! 

Note from the Wicked Witch: For the past 18 years Park Road Books, located in Charlotte, North Carolina has been voted “Charlotte’s Best” by readers and editors of Creative Loafing, the arts and entertainment newspaper.

Wow! I had no idea squirrels could be such stud muffins!

Some of us childrens’ writers have been living it up with poetry protests.

Check out my own fun! http://cocoskeeper.livejournal.com/ Inspired by the wonderful Jo Knowles http://jbknowles.livejournal.com/179520.html

Oh. And… SCROTUM! SCROTUM! SCROOOOOOOTUM!!!!!!!!!

Thank you.

;-D

Regarding Curmudgeon’s comment….Sad to say I also recall seeing that very upsetting picture of what I recall was an African man with the wheelbarrow when I was young.

John

It’s interesting that none of the responders appears to have actually READ The Higher Power of Lucky. “It looks good” or “I doubt the [word] was even necessary” are comments that smack of putting the bandwagon before the horse.

As an author, most of whose books have been written for children or teens, and as someone who happens to have read Patron’s novel, I’d like to add:

1) The word is absolutely necessary in the context of the book, an adult conversation overheard by a precocious, curious, and engaging kid.

2) As someone well aware of the constraints under which most of us who publish with mainstream houses operate, I’m fairly certain this word was chosen, not only because it makes complete sense in the scene (we’re talking about a DOG bite here, folks), but because it’s the least objectionable term possible. Would the uber-moralists have preferred the author use “balls?”

3) The suggestion, from one of the respondents here as well as others who haven’t read the novel, that this is a publicity stunt is preposterous. Trust me, the Newbery award, which Patron’s book won BEFORE all this hysteria, is enough to propel any children’s book to the top of the list; enough to secure library and bookstore sales that give publishers great big smiley faces; enough to “make” an author for life. The only fly in this heavenly balm would be just what’s happening now, a drop in school and library sales.

In sum, folks, put your money where your mouths are: buy the book!

Note from the Wicked Witch of Publishing ™: Louise has written sixteen books for readers of all ages, winning awards from the Children’s Book Council, the Young Adult Library Services Association, the Center for Children’s Books, the New York Public Library, and the International Reading Association.  

When my pre-school-aged daughter raised her hand to ask the visiting flutist a question, she instead announced, “A flute looks like a penis, but I don’t have a penis; I have a vagina,” her mother and I were both proud and tickled. We didn’t gasp or cringe or panic, we laughed and so did the teacher and the visiting artist. The other children, I’m sure, had questions for Mom and Dad when they returned home, and, no, our daughter was not banned from school. Her statement probably encouraged some educational and healthy discussions between parents and their children.

Vita sine libris mors es

Let us have mercy on those canine castratos now having their scrotal sac examined by their junior masters (playing Dr. Vet) in search of missing testes. Pity the poor emasculated puppy upon this discovery by his giddy human siblings. “Mommy, mommy; Spot’s little gonads have gone missing!”

Cave canem

Note from the Wicked Witch of Publishing ™: Come to think of it, Brother Rene, you are correct. One would be hard-pressed to catch of glimpse of the “family jewels” on a dog these days!

The thing that really gets me about this fiasco is that it’s not about the kids who are reading the book; it’s about the adults who are embarrassed by the word.
Excerpt from my blog, which I’m about to link here:

…
Another question to consider: where are the children in all this? I’ve seen a few sources reporting this story, and not a single one of them has cited a quote from–or even an anecdote about–a child who read Lucky and was confused or disturbed by the presence of this dirty, bad word.

My observation is encapsulated by a comment from librarian Frederick Muller (also cited in the Times), who said, “If I were a third- or fourth-grade teacher, I wouldn’t want to have to explain that.” And another one from the NYT: “Andrea Koch, the librarian at French Road Elementary School in Brighton, NY, said she anticipated angry calls from parents if she ordered [the book]. ‘I don’t think our teachers, or myself, want to do that vocabulary lesson,’ she said in an interview.”

So. Who are the people who ban books like Lucky really protecting? And from what? ‘Cause they aren’t mentioning the kids a whole lot.
…

To see the names of more children’s books that use the word, gasp, scrotum, go here:

http://www.gelfmagazine.com/gelflog/archives/youth_literature_is_filled_with_scrotums.php

I appreciate Louise Hawes’ suggestion that no one should be allowed to make even the slightest comment about a book without shelling out the dollars to purchase it and read it. In that she sells books, I can understand her stance. Unfortunately for her, many readers are discriminating and, in this day of the internet, do research writers, covers, and excerpts before buying and reading a book. It was for that reason that I was most careful in pointing out that the above book APPEARED worthy of reading–not that it “was.” If Ms. Hawes has read it and feels it’s trash, she is entitled to say so.

I also neither endorsed nor criticised the use of the word “scrotum”–in fact, with some humor I saw it as less a problem for the kids than the adults that are dancing the Chicken over it. Ms. Hawes clearly feels the plot would collapse without it, and that’s fine–she’s read it and I haven’t, and she therefore speaks with more credibility on that point.

I DID read “Walter the Farting Dog” (which I said) and found it little more than toilet humor for pre-schoolers. I did NOT read “Higher Power of Lucky” and made THAT quite clear in my above post, noting only that (based on some research) it appears (emphasis, Ms. Hawes, on “appears”) to have had some creative thought put into it and looks worth reading. I’m not sure I understand why Ms. Hawes is disturbed by my positive comment unless she truly dislikes the book–which is ok!

When I look at a book and the cover is trashy and the first page and /or excerpts are a grammatical hodgepodge of misspellings, I will put the book right back on the shelf and will have no qualms at all about saying the book appears to be junk. I don’t need someone telling me I’m not qualified to say that because “I didn’t buy the book and read it.” I have not read Mein Kampf cover to cover, nor have I read the current vituperations of “Maddox,” yet would happily share my reasons why without shelling out my money. There’s too much of that going around, and this whine of “you didn’t buy my book” has become one of the first refuges of the slovenly writer these days.

And no, at 60 I’m not going buy a children’s book just to make the very limited, POSITIVE comment I did–that it “looks” worth reading.” Give me a break.

This is like the R rating back in the 70s. R rating back then is like PG 13 today. That book would never have been written for children in the 70s or 80s. It could only make it today.

The subject matter in that book should be above a 10 year old’s head, but unfortunately it isn’t. This is the age of that cartoon character smarty Bart Simpson and King of the Hill and other such stuff that shows on Saturday mornings, which I had no idea had gotten so suggestive until I watched them with my step granddaughter.

I’m on the outraged librarian’s side. If my 10 year old brought that book home in 1987, I would have called the school up and rocked the principal on her heels (using lady-like language, of course). If my granddaughter were to have brought that book home in 2000, I would have rocked the school’s librarian and the princpal after first carefully explaining to my step daughter why it was so upsetting–because, gasp, she wouldn’t know why.

It isn’t a children’s book subject matter. The first chapter incites interest in seeing a scrotum simply because the protag is interested in seeing one–or not. Come on. Why is that even necessary in a children’s book?

I was introduced to the word when I was 8 because I asked where babies came from just to make sure that my friend wasn’t telling me a fib. She wasn’t.

[Insert deep and gusty sigh here]

I am deeply disappointed that children grow up so fast these days. There’s no protection for them anymore. They are exposed to things that make me shudder as an adult. It is so sad that a children’s book author has to write a story about 12-step programs inspiring a child to look for the Higher Power. There’s a word for that, but it may be too strong a word for “worldly sensitive” ears. I’ll say it anyway. Rubbish.

What is wrong with a children’s librarian wanting good books with good subject matter? In this world of ours, have we become so jaded that we think children can’t be interested in stories like Beatrice Potter wrote? Or Joan Aiken? Or even Phyllis Whitney? Or must we all succomb to the spell of J.K. Howling?

Note from the Wicked Witch of Publishing ™: Gina is a grant writer in Newellton, Louisiana. She’s in the process of writing Running from Shadows.

A few of the links referencing this posting on The Publishing Contrarian:

“Nuts, In Every Sense of the Word” at Gehayi

“What’s So Wrong with the Word Scrotum?” at The Most Cake

“Ode to a SCROTUM, Everyone…ODE!!!” at Swamp Spells and Then Some

“Oh, the Outrate! The Horror!” at Brandywine Books

“President’s Day” at PersonaNonData

“Youth Literature is Filled with Scrotums” at Gelf Magazine–Looking Over the Overlooked 

Poor Americans!
It is problem to show tits, penisses and ass on tv but not a problem to show a killer shooting his victim? What do you want your children to become? A normal family or a bunch of killers? What is the biggest sin, killing someone or having sex? What did Jesus tell you; procreate or kill? Come on guys!

I had lots of comments to make on this riveting tpic but I guess the NY Times said it all today on the OpEd page.
Go Times.
PS Your blog is getting livlier all the time.
Go Wicked Witch

Reading through the Comments section of your most informative Post I was distressed to read that Frazer is a “left-leaning publisher”.

I believe the cause of his condition may well reside in the scrotum, about which you write so eloquently. Fortunately, his inclination from the perpendicular should be amenable to corrective surgery.

All this reminds me of a character in Wambaugh’s “The Choirboys” who referred to perps and other bad people as “scrotes”.

I do hope the rattlesnake wasn’t harmed or shocked during the making of this scene. It may just have been curious, not having a scrotum itself (just as well!).

For 15 years I thought the highway sign on Rt. 80 was announcing the Pennsylvania town of Scrotum, when in fact (when driving by at 60 mph instead of 85 mph) I noticed it proudly signaled the next exit as “Scotrun.” Get my drift?

Oh, and I think I saw that well-endowed squirrel last week…chasing one of our dogs! Aw, nuts, maybe it was another squirrel.

At age 11, I told my mother that…

1. I was not going through the period stuff….I was going to just skip it and immediately start “car dating.” 
2. I knew how ladies got pregnant. Billy Smith’s mother told me she drank out of her husband’s tea cup.

So, there. Who needed that funny book with the pictures…I had it all figured out.

My mother took up smoking that year…followed shortly with drinking. I, on the other hand, took 6 years of biology, microbiology, and anatomy. I still haven’t figured out sex…but the occasional drink puts everything into perspective.

How does that squirrel run?

Hmmm … I am not sure which surprises me more - that a single word would spark such an uproar or that there actually is (as I just learned from your blog) a “SexLexis” - i.e. “Dictionary of Sexual Terms” AND a “Dictionary of the F Word.” My, my, my! I love your web log entry! I really needed a good laugh today.

Ahhhh, here we go again. We’re back to censorship of words for body parts. Can’t say “vagina” and can’t say “scrotum”. While the Word Police are at it, they should make the Amish change the name of their towns in Pennsylvania How embarrassing for the children… “I came from Intercourse.” “I live in Blue Ball.”

It remains to be seen if the typical book merchant will be willing and able to become a traveling salesman, but who knows?

Lynne:

I think it would work.

Bernita 

Ummmm, Lynne? Great post, and I’ll have more to say later, but you misquoted me. I did not advocate “wild new paradigm-shifting ideas.” I said successful bookselling was about hard work and community involvement, NOT wild new ideas.

Note from Wicked Witch of Publishing ™: Frazer, you are right! Serious omission of a word! Let me change the copy right now! Thanks!

Hey Lynne:

I think you mistook Park Road’s comment to my feedback. He was not espousing or suggesting “wild new paradigm-shifting ideas” but was using that phrase when criticizing my Bookseller Manifesto. I copy his remarks below.

“For Mr. Lieberman: Independent bookselling is not dead. (Yes, the term is something of a misnomer, because–as you correctly point out–indies are in fact dependent, in fact a lot more dependent on their community than big boxes. I just like the term “indie.”) The answer is not to evolve in different ways, be creative, come up with wild new paradigm-shifting ideas. The answer is what we do every day, HARD F–KING WORK. ”

Thanks

Michael

Note from the Wicked Witch of Publishing ™: Thanks, Michael, I just corrected the omission of the very important word “not.”  

Another way to save indie bookstores: Bookstore Tourism.

As I said on my blog the other day (http://bookstoretourism.blogspot.com), the cultural tourism industry has gone through the roof in the past few years. Cities large and small in the U.S. and around the world have seen the light when it comes to attracting visitors, and the answer to this economic development issue is for towns to create a cultural destination — one that highlights your community’s unique flavor and offers an authentic creative experience for locals and outsiders alike. That means live music and theatre, art exhibits, museums, historic and heritage sites, ethnic festivals, public celebrations, and — just as important — your town’s INDEPENDENT BOOKSTORES. Literary tourism is a pretty hefty segment of cultural tourism, and Bookstore Tourism NEEDS to be part of the mix.

Can Bookstore Tourism save independent bookstores? I used to say no. Now I’m thinking YES. Maybe not all of them, but a lot of them. And anyone with a vested interest in the bookselling industry who doesn’t embrace the idea and get involved in it is missing a great opportunity.

Your concept brings to mind those wonderful mobile libraries in the U.K. that travel to remote, rural areas: If the people won’t (or can’t) come to you — take the show on the road and go to them! All great ideas Lynne, as always.

Hey Lynne,

I just got around to reading the replies to the post before this one. Most of my time lately has been taken up with the detritus of the store closing. This is one time I could have used a basement (which Columbia houses don’t have) and several strong men. But I settled for a storage space and some friends who were wonderful about helping us move.

The comments on how to build a store that survives are interesting but I am convinced that a lot of it is luck and hard work. We did the hard work — we didn’t have the luck. Yep — I can hear the readers now. Luck?? No such thing.

We had a good store — many customers told us so. We worked hard at finding good books in the genres that we knew — mystery, fantasy and science fiction — and building a business that brought in those books, many of them from small publishers. We had author signings — not many customers attended even though the signings were publicized — mostly because the author wasn’t “famous”. We asked ‘How do we get the more well known authors?” The answer was to have successful signings. A bit of frustration there. We tried to start a chapter of Sisters in Crime — that didn’t take off.

I could go on and on but the bottom line is that the store didn’t make enough to cover expenses. I’d love to find that landlord who would give us a break on the lease — we didn’t find one. I’m certain that a lot of problems were due to our lack of knowledge about business but it’s interesting that in a metropolitan area of 600,000, there is one independent bookstore and a couple of Christian bookstores — all of the rest of the bookbuying is evidently done online or at chain stores. From my understanding it’s been that way for the last ten years or so.

I miss having customers to talk to. I miss seeing the pleased look on a customer’s face when I can can find that elusive book that they’ve been looking for. I miss meeting and talking to authors. I didn’t set out to make a fortune but I did want to have a job that meant something and that I enjoyed.

Deb

Note from the Wicked Witch of Publishng ™:  Aliens & Alibis Books was an independent store in Columbia, South Carolina, specializing in mystery, fantasy and science fiction books, both new and used. 

I know I’m late to the discussion, but I just had an idea, of the slightly wild but non-paradigm-shifting type. I started thinking about how I use my local independent. I try to buy my books there as often as I can, because it’s a community institution and because it’s a great environment. However, when they don’t have something in stock and offer to order it for me, I usually decline. Special orders is something the local independents used to be great at–getting you that lost copy of that obscure book. Then Amazon came along.

So here’s my idea, and don’t hit me in the head if this already exists: How about an affiliate/referral program that allows you to flow some kind of $ to your local independent bookstore every time you order from Amazon?

Dear Lynne:

http://www.latimes.com/business/la-fi-bookstores7feb07,1,4443959.story?coll=la-headlines-business&ctrack=1&cset=true

There’s an old truism in military history that generals always refight the last war. It applies here as well.

The article provides a lot of documentation that backs up what I said in the last round of comments. The vast majority of book sales are represented by the one book a year buyer: someone who wants an innocuous Christmas gift, or the latest Da Vinci Code, or the Dummies Guide to Windows Vista. They go to the nearest chain bookstore because those stores are ubiquitous and always have the popular titles in stock.

The much smaller segment of the market, the heavy reader who wants the new biography of John Fante or A. J. Liebling, can’t sustain an independent bookstore.

While it may be possible to reverse the entropic decline of independent bookstores on a local basis here or there, it’s basically a war that’s over.

Note from the Wicked Witch of Publishing ™: Yes, Peter, that is the article to which I refer in this posting. Thanks for the link. Jeez, Peter, your comment is so discouraging! How long will it take for the big chains to go under do you think?

Check this out! From The American Bookseller Association’s “Booksense” today! (Hat tip to Carl Lennertz’s blog, “The Publishing Insider.” )

Excerpted from an article entitled “Apple Blossom Books Brighten Oshkosh.”

“After learning that it was difficult for some area residents to make the trip to Oshkosh, particularly during the winter, Pearson began a delivery program to several of the surrounding towns, where she drops off books at a central location. One drop-off point is at a nursing home about 20 minutes away, where Apple Blossom maintains a small display. “The people there really appreciate it,” said Pearson.

“The only way to get a small independent up and running is by being really involved in the community,” explained Pearson. “To try to engage people to be proactive customers.” Her strategy has created more than just goodwill: Pearson reported that this January’s sales topped last year’s by 65 percent. “I really didn’t expect that kind of growth,” she said. “I don’t know if it will continue or not, or if we just got lucky, but I’m really excited about how things have been going so far.”
 

Dear Lynne:

I don’t think the big chains are going under. Sole propietorships are disappearing and will continue to do so.

Owners of small, independent bookstores who can’t get national authors for book-signings may wish to consider contacting authors directly. When I have a new book coming out and an indie invites me personally, I can often make it happen. This is especially true if the indie is able to set up speeches and booksignings w/ established, local groups (large book clubs, college alumni organizations, churches or synagogues, historical societies, schools). I can come to town for two days and sell hundreds of books, all supplied at various locations by the local independent bookseller.

If the publisher balks at paying for a particular trip, there may be a way for the indie to get funding in a creative way. I once spent several days in Kansas and my expenses and fee were paid by a local bank that supported the arts. Another trip was sponsored by a state arts grant, still another by a literacy foundation.

Think about authors who might be a good match for your community, then contact them via their website. (Most of us have websites today and can be reached easily.)

Note from the Wicked Witch of Publishing ™: Whoa! Great ideas!!! Who initiated the outside funding? 

The indies, working with nonprofit organizations. Obviously, an independent bookstore is a for-profit venture and can’t apply for a state arts grant or funding by a literacy foundation. But an indie can approach a nonprofit (e.g. local literacy council, library, historical society) and suggest that the nonprofit apply for such a grant. The indie can make an informal “deal” with the nonprofit that it will handle all the book sales for the events in exchange for doing some of the legwork.

As for the funding that came through a bank, I was told that the president of the local literacy foundation was the bank president.

Wow…There are a lot of great ideas here. and I especially like the scenarios put forth by Amy Hearth. This is a veritable gold mine of ideas to pan.

And I have to say yahoo to the Christian bookstores in Columbia, South Carolina. sorry that’s where my heart is

I believe that to survive in the book business, or any business takes a lot of work, and a lot of stamina for repeatedly trying and creating ideas…and having that “I refuse to give up.” attitude. I think searching for ideas it also a huge part of the process. And using the parts that work while discarding the rest.

I wonder if the indy that closed in Columbia would have folded if they had this plethera of ideas to work with before the end came.

Good old fashioned guerilla-commando small-biz spit-balls:

Who drives or walks past the store already?
School bus? Taxis? City bus? Commuters?
Taxi drivers love “local color” anecdotes. Take a ride, give the driver an anecdote about the store (George Washington slept here). Hand over a fistful of 10%-off coupons and give the driver a free book for every n (15, 20, whatever number) customers who redeem one.

Street signage or animal-suited human promo, on the street, for the hour the school bus goes by.

Free coffee for city bus pass holders; transfer fare discount for stopping at the store (where applicable).

Rush-hour refuge (bars know this as “happy hour”). Commuters take 5% of all audio books, specially designed for consumption while driving, between 5-7pm. Play a best-seller on the in-store audio system during those hours. Happy hour in-store cafe pricing to invite them to wait out the traffic.

Do you know who your best customers are? Make them free-lance opinion makers. More fistfuls of those coupons you gave the taxi driver. Track who refers the most new customers, dole out rewards to the top n (10, 5, whatever) refer-ers.

Weekly white-board trivia, in-store. Right behind the counter, high enough and big enough to see from where the customer stands, write a book-based trivia question. One Name&Email card, filled out by customers and dropped in a box, with the correct answer will be drawn each [day of week you need more traffic]. Wins something of enough value to be attractive. ‘Must be present to win’ stipulation optional.

Recurring in-store video-game tournament for under-12 year olds. Seriously. Set up the TV and game console, appoint a younger employee to ref and set a first-signed-up limit of 16 players. Single-elimination, 4-round, 15-game format could play in under 75 minutes. Surround the area with pick-me-up copies of 12-and-under titles. Top three finishers receive books as prizes. All entrants get a bookmark or something. Season champ receives something big, like first midnight copy of Harry Potter.

Many cities have an art-district “gallery hop” monthly or seasonally. Display some starving genius’ local works in your best-lit space and sign up to be a stop on the hop.

Foot-traffic alliances. Who are your store’s neighbors? Shoe store? Oil change place? “Penzoil, Pumps & Pynchon” program, first Fridays. They hand out your bookmarks, you hand out their whatevers.

Turn-the-screen-around marketing. You know what will be out months from now. Most customers don’t. Video stores have done it for years. Big posters of next week’s/month’s/season’s street dates for anticipated titles. I had to find out about my favorite author’s next title from the jacket of the previous one, after I got it home. I’ll buy it at the first place that has it, not the closest or cheapest place. What else do you know that you traditionally don’t think customers would like to know too?

And here’s the paradig’em shifter: Rental. Libraries have months-long wait lists for the top lending-cyclers. A leading complaint of Amazon reviewers is the ripped-off feeling of paying extortionate hardcover price for a fave author’s so-so effort. Those books end up on the used shelves; the dissapointed reader re-caps some of their purchase price; used stores get a slice on the second sale. Capture that whole cycle for yourself by setting it up explicitly to work that way for n-number of rental iterations. Keep a list of top-sellers; for each title on the list, keep n copies aside in the “rental” section. Buy them yourself if the publisher or distributor requires. Then Blockbuster rules apply. Netflix rules for customers who can’t be bothered to show up. Rates will settle to appropriate levels after some leaked-secret testing and piloting with select customer groups (see opinion makers above). Build in a blanket Keep-and-Buy option. Then contact me for royalty arrangements on this idea.

Dear Lynne:

In my posts I meant that the readers of books were the market, as in a book proposl, where I write, “The market for this book will be readers of (insert titles of similar books).”

I didn’t mean to say the bookstore is the market. This is what happens when you learn to train yourself in writing proposalese.

There may very well be a contraction among the chain stores, if a you say Borders is weakening. I remember Crown Books, now long gone. It can happen.

But as long as there are enough customers to support brick and mortar stores, there will be chain stores and they will dominate the business. That’s the bookselling ecology.

The “real” readers, by themselves, wouldn’t sustain the number and size of the big chains as they currently exist..

All of the above is what I say. A network of independent bookstore blogs, and networking among independent bookstores in a given area. Working together they could probably arrange for an author to make appearances at their several stores (local, local, local here becomes neighborhood, town, borough). And don’t worry about “big name” authors, go for those who deserve to be known better - and help make them better known.

The importance to books and authors and publishers and bookstores of the blogosphere cannot be overestimated. The newspaper book review section, let’s be honest, is going the way of the dodo, and for the same reason - it’s being killed of by dimwits who think the only thing that sells is another bloody article about American Idol - or the Grammys , for God’s sake.

Note from the Wicked Witch of Publishing ™: Frank Wilson is the book review editor for the Philadelphia Inquirer and a fellow blogger at Books Inq. (He receives over 1000 ARC’s a week! How do I know this? For insider info about the life and work of a book reviewer, check out this online, two-part, interview with Frank in the The Kenyon Review entitled “An Interview with Frank Wilson” and Critical Mass’s brief interview as well entitled “Critical I: Six Questions for Philadelphia Inquirer Book Editor Frank Wilson.”)  

I write a column on independent bookstores published in “Creativity Connection” from the University of Wisconsin. Over the past few years I have interviewed bookstore owners from coast to coast and asked them how they survive.

Each bookstore has their own multi-pronged approach underpinning their survival as part of their business plan. It is these various adjunct endeavors that make bookstores community centers and although many struggle, the do survive.

A few examples:

Elliot Bay Bookstore in Seattle supports first time authors and when authors become successful they often return first to Elliot Bay first to discuss a new book.

Harvard Bookstore, near Harvard Square in Boston, first schedules author talks with authors from each of the 50 universities/colleges around Boston. They also have a help desk that will find a book, no matter how archane, anywhere in the world.

Milwaukee’s Woodland Patterns Book Center, born in 1979, is one of two not-for-profit bookstores in the U.S. and it handles 25,000 small press titles. First concentrating on poetry then fiction/non-fiction, visual and musical arts. The owners believe art is interrelated and love poetry so they even carry poetry broadsheets. They have an annual poetry marathon, writing workshops, a bus that visits neighborhoods lending books and hosting workshops and each week feature experiemental music played in their sound studio/gallery and broadcast on Milwaukee Public Radio.

What your business executive leaves out in talking about why bookstores thrive or don’t is their function to their community. When people feel connected to their local bookseller they support these bookstores. They attend book lectures, bedtime story readings (Women and Children First, Chicago), concerts. They drink coffee at the coffee shop attached to the bookstore reading a book or sit on a sofa browsing a book or magazine (Schwartz Books on Downer in Milwaukee).

Book buying is, in a way a sensual experience: feeling the book in your hands as the words flow into your mind. You get to spend time with an author in a comfortable community place where you get to know, and rely, on those who love books.

Don’t ever count out independent bookstores—or the relevance or endurance of the public in buying books. Publishing houses won’t go out of business either—they may be insular, but as long as they make money finding and publishing authors whose work we want to know—they will stay in business.

Besides, publishing is an international business these days and I would argue that reading has endured as long as we have been in the planet. Books with pages we can turn will be with us for a very long time.

Mr. Wilson:

I dig the future-looking time arrow of your comment, but I am having trouble thinking through the application of it: The blogosphere’s power derives from its disregard for geography, but indie brick-n-mortar is, contrarily, defined by a dependence on locality. How do you sort for blogger/lurkers who can physically reach your store? Or do you web-front sales to support distant-blogger purchase impulse? How do you tame the “Snakes on a Plane” problem; the tendency of bloggers to be more enthusiastic about making hype about a thing than they are about actually buying the thing?

Dear Lastofadyingbreed:

There are blogs that are strictly local. In this neck of the woods there’s a Haverford blog that lets you know what’s going on in that township probably better than anything else around.

A bookstore blogging isn’t doing anything much different from what it does when it sends out press releases—only blogging can be a way of doing that better. Why worry about whether the readers of said blog can get to the store physically or not? It’s easy enough to offer online sales. And sure, some people will be enthusiastic, but not buy. But others will buy. The point is to make what you are doing known to the public, to as much of the public as you can reach. And getting a dialogue going, it seems to me, is always good.

Tremendous silence from the forty or so bookstores to which I sent this posting…

This link is from Mail Tribune: Southern Oregon’s News Source online.

Headline: “A Sad Chapter for the Bookish,” March 1, 2007.

http://www.mailtribune.com/archive/2007/0301/biz/stories/13feb_bookstores.htm

Lynne:

Yes, the bookseller is dependent on Random House and groveling is a trait of an unhealthy dependence.

I am mostly talking about relationships with other people in the book world not necessarily the publishing world.

Relationships with the used bookstores in your community, the book artists in your community, the special collection librarian of the nearest university, the illustrators, the fine press printers, graphic designers,small presses. All the different disciplines where the book plays a major role. If you can network them together and connect these vibrant book pieces a viable business would emerge that will draw people to it.

You carry the books you want to carry, the ones you like the best, and blend all the space you save by carrying only the books that you want, into a multi-use destination. Coffee, art, exhibits all can be there safely. Yes, the big box retailers sell coffee, but this is a different coffee experience. It won’t be a matter of offering “what they DON’T offer to make folks go the extra block and seek out my store”

You can offer your customers the option to order any book they would like; new copies, used copies, collectible copies;and have it at there door in a couple of days (not your door their door) and make money. You can have your coffee shop too selling coffee that is roasted in your region.

And if you really have a desire to specialize in an area.

Pick it and then go deep.

Take some of that space that you saved by only carrying books you like and transform it into you’re specialty space.

Let’s say we like turtles.

Start with a selection of the turtle books in print -this selection will go from children’s picture books to the most academic and scholarly books out there, you know like the scientific ones where you can’t even read the title but you know it is about turtles. Then you offer used and collectible books on turtles and art and artist books that have turtle themes.

You serve turtle sundaes in the coffee shop and show turtle movies in the kid section.

Not all people like turtles but the concept just might be interesting enough to draw them into the shop to see what is going on and once their in our chances of selling them something increases greatly.

If you really want to go with it. You rotate that specialty section quarterly.

Then we will have that “unique complexity” that cannot be mass produced.

Frazer. None of what I envision or talk about is possible without “HARD F–KING WORK” and personal relationships with the people that patronize your shop. Those two variables are inherent in any strategy or process to battle back against the forces that are trying to crush this trade. It sounds like the ABA is providing some big time services to independent bookstores all over this country and for that all booksellers in all segments of the trade are grateful.

I am not sure what constitutes “wild” but when you say
“The answer is not to evolve in different ways, be creative, come up with wild new paradigm-shifting ideas” but I am afraid if we don’t think outside the box a bit we might continue to lose ground.

Respectfully

Michael

Note from the Wicked Witch of Publishing ™: Michael, some good ideas. I like the idea of rotating the specialty section. I just don’t think it can be all about books anymore, any more than it can be selling a variety of buggy whips (old, new, antique, rare) to bring business back in. Also B&N has a same-day delivery option. 

What a useful, idea-filled column. And once again, it has generated lots of intelligent, thoughtful feedback — including further smart retail strategies and observations. Well done Lynne. Your blog is a “must-read” for independent book sellers.

Great post and conversations. One of my thoughts on running a crime fiction bookstore is to murder one of the customers. No publicity is bad publicity, right?

For a sane idea, I have wondered about the feasibility of delivering books to phoned-in orders. I remember a Barnes and Noble commerical showing someone disappointed with the nasty weather outside, ordering a book online, and everything was better. Of course, he didn’t get the book for two days, but that wasn’t in the commerical. What if you could have a new book delivered to your door on impulse?

Note from the Wicked Witch of Publishing ™: Oh, Phil, you are such a stitch. Too bad Auntie is already dead, we could kill her, that’s how mad I’m getting! Phoned-in orders… hum… isn’t B&N doing same day delivery in urban areas? Remember, the big guys can afford to take a financial hit and deliver books to your door at a loss (for a while) in order to grow market share. I don’t think you can go head-to-head with B&N or Borders. Their pockets are too deep and they can out last you, financially.

Wicked Witch: Why are people so silent about your idea to rent space and bring down expenses? That makes such good sense to me.

Note from the Wicked Witch of Publishing ™: Hum… I don’t know. You are right, no one has said a word. Maybe they don’t want to sacrifice shelf space, but perhaps they haven’t weighed how many books they would have to sell to equal the rental income each month. Dunno. I’ll ask?

No one likes those ideas?

Most people are very choosy who they let “sleep in their bed” : renting space to defray expenses, no…never; “tenants” are a pain in the butt - and more importantly for successful businesses, space is always at a premium.

Note from the Wicked Witch of Publishing ™: Hi, Clive. Welcome back. I’d be HAPPY to cuddle-up with a paying tenant. [Hey, quit stealing the blankets!] I’m toying with the idea of cubicles for a public relations person (with a little barter thrown in) and a tutor for middle-school children (not those thievin’ high-school kids who don’t read anyhow!) I am also considering leasing space to writers’ workshops or bridge clubs. Maybe I’ll put a long library table in the back. Thinking. Thinking.

I’ll be opening my revamped “pretend” bookstore, TreadWaters, next week.

Stay tuned!

There are some great suggestions here, and more that arrived via personal email, a number of which I plan to steal borrow. Keep ‘em coming. I’ll cherry pick the ones I like and give you credit.

Watch for my Grand Opening/Under New Management notice soon.

First hire?  T. T. (Terrible Ted), the cat from hell, as in-store personal greeter and flea bearer.

Lynne:
Greetings from Grand Rapids. I admire and am grateful for your passion for independent bookstores. On my “Halsey’s Typhoon” book tour, I’ll be at the Tattered Cover in Denver on January 26 and Powell’s in Portland, Oregon on February 8, so I’ll have an opportunity to observe and inquire about what makes them tick. Inevitably, my co-author, Bob Drury, and I have to do the Borders and B&N gigs, but there is a special pleasure to doing the indy stores where one meets real hardcore book lovers. Stay warm . . . here it’s 20 degrees and snowing!
Tom

Note from the Wicked Witch of Publishing ™: Hi, Tom! That’s right, you are on your book tour. Did I read that Halsey’s Typhoon is hovering at 19 on the New York Times Best Seller List? Did I? Yahooo. I remember a 16-city tour for one of my books. Exhausting. Lots of radio, TV, and local newspaper interviews, but NO bookstore signings at all. Why? No books arrived from the publisher in time for my appearances. [Don’t get me started!]

TreadWaters will have a closed-door, invitation-only book party for you (30-40% will buy) at 5:30PM, an open-door reception for the hoi polloi at 6:30PM (10-20% will buy), and a private dinner party for ten deep-pocketed people at 8PM ($125? each) at the Mayor’s house at 8PM. 

P.S. (How’m I doin’?)

I recently moved to a a fairly large town. I love independent bookstores—where I used to take a stack of books, sit on a chair or in a corner, read and select the 5 or so I could afford. So, I found two here. The first was full of teenagers, which were sons of the owner, lying on the floor, music blasting from their little machines, and laughing and talking loudly in the middle of the aisle. This lasted a hour. I asked for a book, the owner shrugged, I left. The next bookstore, the woman owner was chatting with her helper, who seemed to be annoyed that I was in the way of her stacking the shelves. I asked about events, if she was getting in a couple new books, and she said, no and no.

It’s sad, but I knew that when I went back, and I will, they may not be there.

Note from the Wicked Witch of Publishing ™: Lyn, why go back to either store?

A few of the bloggers who have linked up to this posting are listed below. By way of saying “Thanks!,” I’m linking back right now!

Grumpy Old Bookman: Tuesday Again: “Much debate at the Publishing Contrarian about the role and survival of independent bookshops. Essential reading if you’re running one, or thinking of it, or like to buy from them.”

Ebay Forums: The Future for Independent Bookstores

Library and Information Science News: The Publishing Contrarian and Independent Bookstores

Frank Wilson at The Philadelphia Inquirer: Attention Independent Bookstores

Brandy Wine Books: From Treading Water to Walking on It 

Times Emit: A Period of Transition

JacketFlap—Children’s Publishing Blog Reader: Viewing Blog

Didn’t know if you or your readers have seen this?
http://www.danutakean.com/blog/?p=192#more-192

I am researching the possibility of opening a bookstore and am finding all of these posts VERY informative. Thanks!! However, I think it all boils down to the experience one gets by actually going to a “brick-and-mortar” store, be it B&N, Borders, or independent. Sure you can get the book cheaper online, delivered next day, etc, etc. But I think most of the people who buy online already know what they want thru a previous experience. For me, I am leary about buying books online because I have no way of inspecting the book myself. Sure there are reviews and excerpts, but there is only so much value in that. Actually being able to hold and flip thru the ENTIRE book the best sales tactic for me to it. And being able to look at the books on the self as opposed to scrolling thru 1,000s of titles on the web to find the right one. And, maybe I am mis-informed but I would think that the better, more saleable (or perhaps most popular) titles would be at the store anyway, thus saving the search time (I know this isn’t always the case.) I could go on and on, but I have to get back to work!!

The term “independent” I think has been mis-interpreted by a lot of people. It merely means, in my mind, “independent” from an established chain. No business is independent. That attitude is recipe for sure failure. You are dependent on the customers, your employees, vendors, community, store environment, etc. All of these factors mixed wisely contribute to a successful business, along with HARD WORK!!! : )

Thanks to all who took the time to post. The information is most valuable!

Note from the Wicked Witch of Publishing ™: Thanks for dropping by, Tom. I’ve just been to The New York International Gift Fair, looking for possible items to augment TreadWaters’ books, having been told that the mix should be 70% books/30% other complementary items. What a nightmare: 17 miles of exhibits. I’ll be posting shortly. The question is whether I will plunge ahead and keep the store or cut my losses in some sort of profitable way if I can. 

Speaking purely for myself, I think the 70%books/ 30% other can be a trap. If you sell reading material, and your expertise is in reading material, why stray far from that? Let toystore sell toys, stationers sell stationary, etc. Most non-books I see in bookstores is useless, overpriced fluff and crap, in my arrogant opinion; but that may just mean I’m not the market the fluffvendors are seeking.

To me, as a bookseller’s clerk, what we are selling is about the reading, not interior decoration, as anybody who’s ever seen the interior of my beloved Renaissance Books [main store] will attest. Do what you do best, and do it damned well.

In the UK, it is the traditional bookshop/stationer which found it hardest to adapt to 21st century retail : the chain WHSmith have been fighting an uphill battle for some time, as have many indies who had a large % stock bias away from books, or Cd’s etc.

There are some natural tie-ins to books ; calendars, dairies etc - however this is one trade where sales are actually falling for most manufacturing suppliers.

I consider myself independent because I am not a member of any buying association or group. I run “my ship” to suit myself and my core customers - who are extremely loyal : my business only takes stock firm sale and therefore I am a totally free-agent on stock range - sourcing from multiple wholesale and publisher accounts. Last Christmas I carried many titles which were not shelved in UK’s high street chains : I pay no attention to anybody but my own bank balance and my own eyes - that is what I consider to be independence. (Market traders in the UK have a saying - let your eyes be the judge, and your pocket be the guide)

All the above can appear arrogant and pompous : I consider it rather the lessons learnt from doing my money on too many occasions in the past !

Note from the Wicked Witch of Publishing:

I’ve been struck down by the flu. No doubt something I picked up at New York International Gift Fair last week. Will post again as soon as the fever breaks!

[Between naps, I have managed to read Jetta Carleton’s The Moonflower Vine (published in 1962) while convalescing. I loved it. I bought it based on an exchange between bloggers at another Web site. Maybe there is a copy somewhere in TreadWaters. If so, I’m handselling it.]

What a fun game!

Profit means buy low and sell higher. Businesses sell things to CUSTOMERS, not to themselves.

There are two independent bookstores in my town which appear to thrive, and both have the same model. They buy (often with store credit at a slightly higher rate) used books, cds, and dvds from the public and resell at twice the buy price. There are ALWAYS people lined up at the TWO registers at one, and the other seems at least busy.

So, customer buys THE NEW BEST SELLER for $20 on January 1.

March 1, he brings it in and the store gives him $5.

March 2, customer buys ALMOST NEW BEST SELLER for $10.

June 1, customer 2 returns and sells RECENT BEST SELLER for $2.

July 1, customer 3 buys FORMER BEST SELLER for $4.

Everybody is happy. The store has made 100% in 2 months of holding inventory. I’ll bet the big box didn’t make $7 on the book.

The brilliance is that the customers set the inventory. Instead of trying to figure out what they want, actual buyers of goods bring you stuff actual they have already chosen.

Norah Roberts might not write books YOU like, but there are plenty of dollars chasing them. Lots of those dollars belong to people who would far rather buy 20 tattered ones for a dollar each than a shiny one for $20.

Treadwaters might give that model a try.

If you don’t want to pour money in the rat hole, you might have an exchange corner- let customers leave their books, to be resold and the price split.

Do all the accounting on the back flyleaf of each book, rip it out when the book is sold. Make the seller responsible for coming in to get payment. Hold each book for a maximum period, say a month, at which time it has to be retrieved, pitched, or moved to a dollar box for a week before discard.

This model works for antique malls. And on line for ebay and abe for that matter. You’re just the physical version thereof.

When I update my links, I’ll link to you if that’s alright.

Note from the Wicked Witch of Publishing ™: Smarter than smart.

Dear Lynne:

Your unnamed marketing guru lost me with his brilliance that Starbucks doesn’t sell coffee. What, praytell, do they sell, Mr. Guru, electrical wiring?

I have no epiphanies about how indies can triumph over chains, however from here on in I shall begin calling myself a publishing guru and charge $1,000 per hour. My first genius-level insight will be offered gratis: bookstores aren’t selling books.

Seriously, I’ve given some thought to this subject before:

http://preciouscargo.blogspot.com/2006/05/are-chain-bookstores-better-than.html

Despite my fondness for some independent bookstores, the small, friendly, homey local bookstore is analagous to the family farm.

Chains + online selling vs. indies = agribusiness vs. family farms.

Living in Los Angeles for over 30 years, I’ve seen the demise of most of the indies I frequented and loved.

Apart from used bookstores (a truly endangered species) the two types of idies in LA tended to be eclectic stores that offered everything and stores specializing in being genre completists. Both types are largely extinct.

One of the few indies to arise in the past 20 years and thrive is Book Soup in West Hollywood, which is really more like a chain store than an indie, albeit a bit “crunchier”.

Most people entering a bookstore are looking for that one book a year they’ve heard about and have to buy. Chains are perfect for them. The tiny remainder of “real” readers are insufficient to support indies, so increasingly seek their esoterica online.

Where does that leave most indies? Sharing the fate of the trilobyte.

In Wednesday’s NYT there was an article entitled: “The Breakfast Wars.” McDonalds is introducing a new, higher quality coffee to complete with Starbuck’s coffee. Starbucks is introducing hot egg-and-cheese sandwiches on English muffins.

They are both after the crowd that spends no more than “three minutes” on a grab-and-go breakfast and doesn’t want to make TWO stops to get “high quality” food and drink.

Who figured out that people didn’t want to make two stops on the way to work? If I had been asked, I would have said I wanted ONE stop shopping, yet routinely stopped at three places on the way to work:

1)Buy a newspaper on the corner.
2)Drop into Starbuck’s for a coffee-to-go.
3)Swing by the local deli for a giant brownie to accompany my coffee. (Shame on me!)

No one asked ME!

Interesting….

In re the up 35%….well, I’m never going to be able to afford Mr. Trump’s yacht, and don’t really want to (especially if it comes with that appalling hair). I think if you’re up that much (for the record, it was 41% in October and 38% in November), it’s good news in and of itself, but it does matter whether you’re a new store or one that’s celebrating its 30th anniversary this year, like us.

I’m also not meaning to imply it isn’t hard. We could not have survived many more 2005’s, for example (one reason for great growth was a crappy previous year). We still walk that tightrope. I guess my point in all my rambling is to say that you can in fact succeed as an independent bookseller if you are willing to do two things: work your everlovin’ ass off and, more importantly, give your customers what they want. That’s what struck me about the NYT article about the bookseller closing in Princeton. My heart goes out to him, but the article made it sound like he considers bookselling the noble peddling of knowledge, when really it’s about connecting a customer with something that’s going to satisfy her soul at the end of a long day. Don’t tell your customer what she SHOULD want–help her find what she DOES want.

surviving and thriving,
Frazer

It’s crazy to sell other things than books in a book store. Just sell books– fill the place from boards to ceiling with more books. Then you have what Amazon doesn’t– a place to visit that’s full of books. That’s when people buy things thay hadn’t thought of or had never seen. When competition is fierce you should try and do better the thing for which you have a reputation– not worse. If a man comes alongside your vegetable stand to compete– sell fresher veg, not ice cream. This isn’t the same as the story about horse whips. There’s masses of stuff that people have written for which there is still a market. So get a cheap building and fill it with what they wrote.

Note from the Wicked Witch of Publishing ™: Tim Coates is a former bookseller who has become a well-known advocate for improvements in public-library service. He was the first U.K. bookseller to open an all-night bookstore with a cafe, sofas, we now associate with bookstores around the world. In his current work, he strives to bring the same customer orientation to libraries.

Always talk with your customer: Remember, working in a bookstore, like a library reference desk, is like running a dry bar! The more you know about the person on the other side of the counter, the more you can satisfy their literary needs & whims.

I am sure that Frazer and Lynne will enjoy this piece of sloppy reporting which followed Thursday’s publication of the HMV interim figures.

http://www.inthenews.co.uk/news/news-channels/business-channel/hmv-shows-strong-online-growth-$1039868.htm

>>Christmas sales for the group were up by 10.3 per cent, with its book division, Waterstone’s, showing a total sales growth of 39.2 per cent.

Tim and Rowena are right on! And I love Clive’s story. That said, we do good with a few non-book items. We tried some jigsaw puzzles this season–I, being the cheap person with the checkbook, objected, but Sally thought we could do well with them, and she was absolutely right. But no coffee.

But it is too bad it has to be a dry bar.

What a wonderful debate!

But did anyone ever start a bookstore with the aim of making Donald Trump money? Sorry, but that’s why Trump is in Real Estate. It is about finding out what your customer wants, but also what the bookseller wants.

It’s my guess that the booksellers who are still thriving in this environment are people who love and value literature and books and have devoted their time and patience and ingenuity for something that they value much more than money.

Starbucks does not just sell coffee. I would never go to a Starbucks if I couln’t sit for as long as I wanted and write on my computer. I can even bring my own food in. I don’t have to intereact with people, but I can see them working around me, and that is the perfect atmosphere for me to write in. The music is usually great. I think of it as my office. A bookstore where you were allowed to do that would do very well, and if you could read from the store library it would be even better.

I have been contemplating opening just such a place for a while now. Anyone interested?

Note from the Wicked Witch of Publishing ™:  Kara is finishing her MFA in fiction at Sarah Lawrence College this spring. She has a short piece coming out in a magazine devoted to writing on hair called: ‘Submerged - Tales from the Basin’, and another short story has been accepted at the New Ohio Review.  She was a finalist in two short story contests this year, and was nominated for the 2007 ‘Best New American Voices’, She is working on her first novel.

Voice Literary Supplement
Chain Reaction
Do bookstores have a future?
by Paul Collins
May 22nd, 2006 5:50 PM

http://www.villagevoice.com/books/0621,collins,73282,10.html

Note from the Wicked Witch of Publishing ™: Thanks, Peter. VERY interesting. 

I’m working on my next posting right now.

I’m thinking of calling my pretend, “inherited” bookstore Treadwaters! (Hah!)

I’ll post later today or early tomorrow!

Lynne

[…] On the Care & Cultivation of Books (& Writers) « Coincidentally An Answer February 11th, 2007 On this same subject of indie bookselling, finding meaning, and community,the Wicked Witch of Publishing sets up a pretend independent bookstore, and then through a series of discussions w/friends and community members, sets out to learn how to make the darn thing survive in this world of big biz bookselling. And, I agree with her findings: it’s that idea of being part of the community that makes sense to me —  not in the sense of all that promotional BS, and drawing customers in with special events and deals, but reeaaally being part of the community — going out there and participating. Being real. We all need that nowadays. […]

One way for indi booksellers to “survive” is for a town’s indi booksellers to create a business collective rent or buy a building and put each of their unique bookstores into that one location. Act as if they’ve set up a department store. Keep their own businesses, accounts, etc., but just do it as a “collective”. It would work.

Lynne, can I borrow that cat for a week or two? My yard is overrun with moles, and my flock of chickens can only do so much.

Note from the Wicked Witch of Publishing ™: I know who Traci is! (Thanks for stopping by!) She just left her position as director of marketing for a graphics-oriented, publicly-held company and launched her own online business called My Pet Chicken. And….she’s making money at it.