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1. THE LAST MARTIN has arrived!

Martin. If you have not met him yet, this is your chance. Don't expect him to say hello. His mouth would open and you might sneeze and we all know where that would lead. Don't expect him to shake your hand either. The bacteria count of the average palm is staggering. Plan on inviting him to play catch? Forget it. Those old gloves are filled with microbes. Cuticle rot, you know.

People are just too germy for his liking. And germy means sick. And sick means dead. And Martin isn't about to lose one day of his miserable life on account of your hand infestation.

Of course, he's in danger of losing much more than a day. Curses will do that, you know. But don't tell him he's cursed. He doesn't know and it's best that way . . . oh, just read it and find out the whole deal!

Yeehaw! Martin's here! 

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