I've been looking up at the moon recently (not forgetting the stars too) and wondering about my work and where it is going. Since having a few knock backs from the publisher, i noticed, almost in slow motion, i'd been floored by it all. I like drawing, i like painting, i know what i want but when someone else is in your way it's difficult to move such a mountain.
I constantly questioned whether i should be doing this art thing, but i never ever stop (unless it's to be floored by publishers), i wonder what would happen to me if i did stop this artymalarkythingy? Would i combust into a ball of stars/moths/dust/lego? Would i fall into a stooper that smells like a storm trooper? Would i rot away like a mouse in a trap?
I'm in limbo, that's where i am. I can't give this up, i don't want to. I just need to find my way around the mountain that has been placed in front of me. I need to carry on looking at the stars but i also need to let those stars guide me instead of me being still.
Maybe i'll take some tea, cake and a polar bear; sit down, stare into the sky and decide upon my next move. I hear North is a good place to go (or under the bed with the fluff bunnies).
Well my little artistic genius of a friend; despair ye not! here's a religious answer: "If you have faith the size of a mustard seed you will say to this mountain, be removed into the sea and it will be so" and also"Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen" Or as Bruce Lee says in Enter the Dragon when instructing Lao,his young student as he points to the moon (and you have to imagine this in a lilting chinese accent)"Don't look at the finger or you'll miss all that heavenly glory" Hold up the mirror and look at a star; you're supanova is no where near yet; the comet has to wiggle its tail first and delight a waiting world peering into the night sky for inspiration. Max
thanks Denzel Maximus, your words mean a lot. I must look at the stars and not at the wiggly finger. (You could almost publish your answer as your next blog ;) xx
Don't give up Loo! I know it's difficult to know what to do but creativity doesn't let you give up on it. It badgers you until you have to answer the call. Crap situations can suck the life out of your work and make you have doubts but listen to the little inner voice and you'll hear the lion roar again!
ah Jenny thank you for commenting. You are right about crap situations and sucking the life out of work, it feels awful doesn't it. But as ever, i'm determined to over come this commercial fatigue and do something amazing...LOL.
Loo :)