Ha ha ha.
I was going through my old files and found something fun. It's a really rough scene I wrote from the pov of Sheila, from Waiting To Score. Sheila is in love with David Parker, who is just back from Rehab, and this is a scene I wrote a long time ago. It's pretty rough, but it amused me, so thought I would post.

***

A boy walked past my locker. “Nice hooters, Hanigan,” he called. I lifted my middle finger without bothering to look up.

Boobs. They’re the bane of the teenage girl’s existence. Too big is trouble of one kind. Try “slut” on for size when you walk by a group of other teenage girls who don’t even know you. Boys stare. Grown men do too, sometimes. How gross is that?

Flat is a problem of another kind. I’ve heard. Not that that I’d know from personal experience.

“Sheila?”
I whipped around at the sound of a new voice calling my name. It’s not like I didn’t recognize it. I’d memorized every nuance of it years before and kept up with the squeaks and changes along the way. I knew what that voice sounded like when it was mad and when it was happy. I knew what that voice when it was completely wasted.
I sucked in my stomach and crossed my arms in front of my chest, praying to the heavens that the jeans I was wearing did not make my ass look too fat. “Uh. Yes?” I asked, amazing even myself with my witty comeback.
“Hi.” David Parker stood behind my locker, forcing me to swivel completely to look at him.
“Hi,” I answered. I turned back to my locker to take a deep breath, close my eyes and say a mini prayer that I didn’t embarrass myself. I uncrossed my arms to take out my books and closed my locker. I turned back.
I wasn’t hallucinating; David Parker was talking to me in public. Sober.
He cleared his throat and I hoped that the angle where he stood me made me looked 15 pounds thinner.
“So. Uh. I wanted to thank you.” He looked away from me and shifted back and forth on his feet. He looked like he would rather be anywhere else but talking to me. I wondered if his sister, Jane had put him up to an apology.
I blushed and shrugged. “What’s a little vomit between near strangers?”
“Well. A lot I mean. It was nice of you to look out for me at Candy’s party.”
Grr. I wanted to growl like an angry dog when he said her name. Candy was not in my good books. She wasn’t even in my bad books. She had a book of her own. The Spawn of Satan.
David meanwhile, looked like he was going to toss his cookies. “I don’t remember anything from the party actually, but my sister said I was really out of it, and that you sat with me. I could have died That’s what they told me. At...the ….well, the place I was at.”
I nodded and bit my lip. The place called rehab. He shuffled his feet around trying not to meet my eyes.
“Especially after what I said about you.” He looked at me, and then ducked his head to study the floor.
Good thing he didn’t know I’d worshiped those baby blues of his for the last four years. Despite what he’d done to me. I raised my eyebrows, surprised he was bringing the little secret into the open.
David Parker ruined my reputation at school. What he doesn’t know, is that I will be forever grateful to him for that. Grateful enough that I even let him lay his pukey head on my lap, the night he got so drunk that he threw up all over his girlfriend’s mother’s prize rose bushes. Well. Ex- girlfriend now. The Devil’s Spawn.
When he was finished barfing, he rewarded me by telling me he loved me. I never told anyone. He said. “Sheila. You are a red haired Goddess with the hugest boobs I’ve ever seen, and I think I love you.” And then he threw up.
His girlfriend was inside her house hosting a party and making out with some college kid. I guess that may have had something to do with his sentiments. Well that and the copious amounts of liquor he’d swallowed trying to impress her.