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news and commentary about publishing, writing, reading, feminism, illustration, and some other stuff
1. Expunged from Wikipedia: Tool-Using Platypi

Tools  allow you to build things. They are the things human culture is made of. Animals for the most part do not use tools. An argument might be made for exceptional animals such as the tool-using platypus of ancient South America. This mammal was a bipedal duck-billed tool-using fool. The tool-using platypus flowered in the Crustacean Period of geologic history. It is an artifact of deep time. Although its culture never rose to the level of computer or internets, tool-using platypi did develop crude automobiles powered by magic. This magic was elemental in nature, just as our own combustion engines are mechanisms of elemental magic. But the tool-using platypi of South America during the Crustacean Period of geologic history used water instead of oil. They never bothered to mine for coal, thus averting the fossil fuel apocalypse that our human industrial society has backed itself into. On the other hand, all tool-using platypi of the Deep Crustacean period drowned.


Filed under: flash fiction, humor, writing Tagged: fossil fuel, humor, oil, platypus, tool, wikipedia

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