* Authors Note: This post was originally published here: http://community.livejournal.com/lj_nanowrimo/47808.html

November 8, 2008 1:29pm

I'm nearing 16,000 words, and so far the relationship is progressing well, but I'm frustrated. Sure we've come a long way, but I still want more! If it would only let me in, I could do things to it that would blow its mind!

So, I got a little desperate. I took it out and tried to get it liquored up. We even went out with another novelist and her novel, a nice little double date so to speak. The energy was great! Ideas were flowing, everyone was getting excited about going home and adding to the word count. Then came the beer, lots and lots of beer. My novel didn't get liquored up, I did. When we got home, the novel beckoned to me, flashing its paragraphs seductively, but I'm embarrassed to say, I couldn't perform. I tried, I really did, but I kept fumbling clumsily on the keyboard and finally just passed out.

So much for that idea.

This morning I got up, hangover and all, and tried to apologize for my appalling performance last night. Sadly, my novel is pretty ticked, I can't get it to do anything now. I've promised that I wont have anymore beer, especially if I can't perform the way I'm supposed to. Flowers aren't working, and it has absolutely no interest in the candy I offered it. I'm reduced to groveling now. Begging and pleading with it to give me something, anything. I've tried being stern with it, come on we've got a deadline here, we can't waste time just because it's having a hissy fit.

Boy that was the wrong track to take, now all I get is ranting about how I'm only interested in the word count, it's only a bunch of paragraphs to me. It reminds me that it has a plot you know, it's more than just words and paragraphs, underneath the font there's a setting and foreshadowing and a climax lurking some were, but no I apparently don't care about all of that, I just want to bang out the words, thats it.

A wise word to my fellow novelists, if your novel is playing hard to get, just play along. Unless you can work better under the influence of liquor, I don't suggest getting it liquored up and trying to take advantage. Please learn from my mistake, I don't know about your novels, but mine can hold a mean grudge and time is just ticking by.