I've experienced a bit of a 'creative pause' recently ... read more HERE if you like. It seems to finally be over, and the upside of it is that I had a lot of time to look back over this last year and ponder over the amazing lessons that I've learned. It's been truly chaotic, and tough. I've been shoved and pushed (screaming and wailing slightly I admit) out of my comfort zone, my safe box. To the point where I almost froze up in fear -- it wasn't easy letting go of what I thought I knew of myself -- but so completely necessary, in order to allow new and wonderful ways of experiencing and perceiving the world into my life.
I'm bringing a new project into my already rather full life right now. Why? Because I love it and it excites me, and fortunately it's also been accepted as part of my course-work for the coming year. More about it later on, but these are the few experimental sketches I've done so far and they express beautifully the journey that I've been on and where I stand at the moment.
First, the watercolour and pencil sketch below ... it's very reminiscent of my old work, precise, relatively controlled, more realistic than not. Once I was done with it I found it terribly boring, frozen, static. Tell me what you think:
Then I decided to take on the lessons that I've learned this past year. To experiment, to allow myself to make mistakes, to remember that sometimes the process is far more important than the end result, to accept that giving myself the license to just relax and play yields results that are imperfect but can be quite satisfyingly beautiful. Here's a glimpse at the work-in-progress on another page of the A2 sketchbook that I'm tackling now:
Notice the difference? I feel that I'm finally allowing myself to develop, to explore, and to just appreciate the moment I'm in, without fear, without insecurities (i.e. the inner editor screaming at me to have things perfect and 'right'), and to allow myself to open up and see things in a completely different way ... to go with the flow. I'm finally taking a step in the right direction, and this is after a lot of help and pushing and pain (yes, pain) from people who had the faith in me and saw a potential that I wasn't able to see in myself. Well, I'll be thanking them as I go along. But one of them, my tutor at Banbury College, is doing wonderful things as she pushes me over the cliff. I shall quite enjoy the coming year, I think, and scream with joy all the way down. Rebirth. Hugely inspiring.
For those of you who like a peek into the step-by-step process, I did remember to take photos of that first drawing while I did it and here they are ...
I've broken through a lot of barriers this past year and I'm no fool, I know that there are a lot more ahead of me, but I welcome them with relish, learning to appreciate every lesson. Cheers.