When you’re writing a character, it’s important to know why she is the way she is. Knowing her backstory is important to achieving this end, and one of the most impactful pieces of a character’s backstory is her emotional wound. This negative experience from the past is so intense that a character will go to great lengths to avoid experiencing that kind of pain and negative emotion again. As a result, certain behaviors, beliefs, and character traits will emerge.
Characters, like real people, are unique, and will respond to wounding events differently. The vast array of possible emotional wounds combined with each character’s personality gives you many options in terms of how your character will turn out. With the right amount of exploration, you should be able to come up with a character whose past appropriately affects her present, resulting in a realistic character that will ring true with readers. Understanding what wounds a protagonist bears will also help you plot out her arc, creating a compelling journey of change that will satisfy readers.
Being So Beautiful It’s All People See
NOTE: We realize that sometimes a wound we profile may have personal meaning, stirring up the past for some of our readers. It is not our intent to create emotional turmoil. Please know that we research each wounding topic carefully to treat it with the utmost respect.
Basic Needs Often Compromised By This Wound: safety and security, love and belonging, esteem and recognition, self-actualization
False Beliefs That May Be Embraced As a Result of This Wound:
- my only worth is in my looks
- I will never be respected for my hard work, brains, or skills
- people only want to be close because of how I look and what my beauty can do for them
- no one really cares what I think or believe in
- everyone believes my life is wonderful no matter what I tell them
- being beautiful is what matters; without it I am nothing
- no one knows (or cares) who I really am
- I can only be what others want me to be, not live for myself
- I must choose a career in the beauty industry because it’s expected
- Many of my (same-sex) friends secretly hate me
- I can’t have deep friendships with members of the opposite sex because I am only a sex object to them
- I have to keep personal pain/hardships to myself because people will just believe I’m attention-seeking or narcissistic
Positive Attributes That May Result: cautious, charming, courteous, cooperative, disciplined, easygoing, extroverted, flirtatious, friendly, generous, gentle. honorable, idealistic, introverted, loyal, kind, mature, obedient, organized, perceptive, persuasive, playful, private, proactive, protective, sensual, sophisticated, uninhibited, unselfish, whimsical
Negative Traits That May Result: abrasive, addictive, catty, childish, cocky, cynical, defensive, dishonest, extravagant, flaky, frivolous, gossipy, haughty, hypocritical, impatient, impulsive, inhibited, insecure, jealous, judgemental, lazy, macho, manipulative, materialistic, melodramatic, pretentious, promiscuous, rebellious, reckless, self-destructive, self-indulgent, spoiled, subservient, temperamental, vain, withdrawn, workaholic
Resulting Fears:
- fear of stalking, violence, and sexual assault (especially women)
- fear of being taken advantage of
- fear of being trapped by one’s own beauty (life choices, career, opportunities)
- fear of aging or losing one’s beauty
- fear of illness and disease
- trust issues–fear of trusting the wrong person
- fear of retribution or sabotage via a jealous peer
Possible Habits That May Emerge:
- meticulous health and beauty regimes
- dieting and working out
- questioning and second guessing one’s choices (a deep need for approval or fitting in)
- people-pleasing
- avoiding close relationships (over doubt as to if they are “real” or not)
- not complaining because people will react with a lack of empathy
- seeking out activities where beauty doesn’t matter (working at an animal shelter, getting out in nature, sport activities, volunteering for a specific cause)
- acting the way people expect to make life easier
- being very safety conscious; avoiding dangerous places
- working hard to be likeable to negate “primal” resentful feelings with the same-sex
- fighting or hiding low self-esteem issues behind smiles/forced confidence
- keeping secrets, rarely divulging one’s deepest feelings and desires
- depression and engaging in behavior to cope with it (medicating, withdrawing from relationships, choosing to be alone, cutting in areas that won’t been seen, etc.)
TIP: If you need help understanding the impact of these factors, please read our introductory post on the Emotional Wound Thesaurus. For our current list of Emotional Wound Entries, go here.
For other Descriptive Thesaurus Collections, go here.
Image: Alexas_fotos @ Pixabay
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