CHAPTER FIFTY: New Year

Days without Joe: 214

I’m not usually one for New Year’s resolutions, but this year seems different. I feel like, if I commit things in front of all of you, maybe I’ll achieve some goals. So, here we go:

1. Get off the road. Whoa, whoa—don’t freak out. Not anytime soon—however, by the end of this year, I have to commit to something. I don’t know what it will be or where, but I do know I can’t keep up this nomadic lifestyle forever. It’s not fair to me. To Apollo. To my family. I need to make a choice and go with it. Suggestions welcome.
2. Let the Katie thing go. She hasn’t called or texted. It sucks. It hurts. It may never happen, but, as Mr. Frank Sinatra says, that’s life.
3. Go back to work. Sure, I don’t necessarily have to, but I think the longer I stay away from some reality where I am regularly held accountable, the less touch I’ll have with anything approaching normal. While everyone has been accepting and understanding of my life choices to date, I think it will look less charming as time goes on. Yes, Joe died. Yes, I have a right to mourn his loss, but, no, that state of grief can’t last forever. I can’t go knocking on people’s doors with a box full of ashes and saying, “Remember when?” much longer.
4. Learn how to apply winged eyeliner. Seriously.
5. Start meditating.

So, what craziness did I get up to tonight? Of all the things, the person I was closest to (geographically) was Marissa, a girl I used to babysit. And here’s a secret for when you get worried around people you haven’t seen and have very little in common with: after enough champagne, nothing really matters.

I was glad I spent Christmas alone but happy to ring in the New Year with others.

It was a simple house party, and owing to the younger age of the group (I was easily eight years everyone’s senior), I had a glimpse of what my optimistic twenties must’ve looked like: The casual yet deep conversations. Lots of fun party drama to watch. An insanely funny game of Cards against Humanity. And—as a party trick bonus—I even learned how to saber champagne!

The hangover was not so severe this morning, although I can’t say the same for my hosts. I’m making breakfast, and then I think we’re all going back to bed.

What are your big plans for this year?

What will you accomplish?

Marissa’s favorite ice cream? Raspberry.
Tags: #happyNewYear #champagne