Read fast, because I have the feeling I’ll be deleting this in a few days. It’s not usually the kind of thing I enjoy talking about in public. But I’m doing it for the same reason I posted about my experience of having horrible acne when I was in high school and college: I actually think I can help people. So here goes:
I have, at various times in my life, been merely overweight, then obese, then heavy, then down to slim and trim, then up a little to what I considered “sturdy,” rather than fat, then down a little, up … a lot of you can relate to the pattern.
And right now, coming off multiple months in a row of writing for sometimes 18 hours a day, not getting as much exercise as I usually love, and powering my books and screenplays with WAY too much sugar, I feel pretty gross. I still love myself and want to be nothing but kind to myself no matter what, but I know my “kindness” of feeding myself a whole bunch of chocolate to keep up my energy and creativity during this time of intense work has actually not been a kindness at all.
Sometimes information comes to you at just the right time. Or maybe it’s always out there, but you’re not ready for it until you are.
A week or so ago, a friend of mine sent me a link to an interview with Dr. Susan Peirce Thompson. She’s both a psychology professor and a formerly obese woman. And I just loved her energy. I loved her sincerity and her passion for teaching what she knows about finally breaking free of food addictions and finding our individual bodies’ own natural weight. It was a theme I explored in my novel FAT CAT, and it’s definitely something that speaks to me personally.
(And by the way, when I was researching and writing FAT CAT, I completely gave up sugar. Weight melted off me. I felt great. My brain was clear, I had incredible energy … and yet here I am again.)
What drew me in was Susan’s own story about appearing to be very accomplished in some respects — highly educated, very successful in her career as a professor — but at the same time feeling like a failure because she was always overweight. How could she be so smart in other areas of her life — how could she know so much about science and psychology — and yet still look like … that?
Then one day she was finally ready to turn her years of research and knowledge on herself and figure this out once and for all. And to her utter delight, she discovered it wasn’t an issue of willpower or weakness or laziness, it was actually just a matter of brain chemistry. Some people are more susceptible to certain foods than others are. It’s not a moral issue, it’s just biology. And we can work with biology.
For some of us, sugar is as addictive as cocaine or heroine. If you’ve felt as enslaved by sugar as I have at times, you know it absolutely feels like a drug.
By the end of watching that interview, I knew I wanted to hear more of what Susan could teach. So I actually contacted her to find out when her next course was. Turns out it starts in just a few weeks. PERFECT.
A lot of you have written to me over the years after reading FAT CAT to share with me your own struggles or journeys about food and weight loss. I’ve read them all, I’ve answered them all, because I know what you’re going through and I want to try to help where I can. I’ve passed along resources I relied on in writing the novel, such as websites and books and cookbooks. I hope all of you who have written to me have gotten great value out of that information.
So now I’m passing along Susan’s free video series, too. I’m also including a link to her Susceptibility Quiz, which will evaluate how high or low you are on the scale of being susceptible to certain foods. I’m a 7 out of 10. Just saying.
The first video is out now, and the second and third will be released over the next few days. I’ll add those links then.
Good luck, fellow foodies! Hope this information helps. Pass it along to other foodies if you think they’ll like it, too.
And here’s to freedom. ‘Bout time!
xoxo
Robin
Great post, Robin! Sugar can mess with you in so many ways. When I eat sugar it revs up my appetite so much that I can’t sleep through the night without getting up and eating. It also creates a cycle of low to high blood sugar that leads to migraines for me. I am much happier when I avoid sugar, not to mention well rested, and more energetic, but it’s hard to give up! I find avoiding it takes a lot of commitment, even though sugar makes me feel quite sick, which goes to show how addictive it is.
Hey, Amy, thanks so much for chiming in! (By the way, I’m usually a lurker on your FB posts rather than an actual commenter, just because I don’t always have something to say about them, but this is a great chance to tell you I love what you’re putting out there — very thoughtful and/or entertaining!). Anyway–
The reason I’m so into how Susan is teaching it is because she completely identifies my own embarrassment: just like she says, a lot of us are very well-informed about health and nutrition, we’re smart, we get it… but that doesn’t mean we do it. Yep, raising my hand there, Susan.
Sometimes I just need a guide. Yes, I could figure it all out for myself, but I’m a great student, so putting myself in a class setting really works for me.
Thanks for your sugar testimonial/confession. Solidarity!
I’ve always been overweight and come from a long family history of obesity and attendant health issues. But here’s a thing. In 2012, I joined Weight Watchers. I followed their system religiously and lost 75 pounds in six months. I looked great…but at the same time, my mental health issues (depression, anxiety, undiagnosed Asperger Syndrome) were running amok. I lost 75 pounds and then I tried to take my own life. When I got help, I gained back all that weight.
I feel like a failure in some ways, but at the same time, weight loss is going to be forever tied in my memory to that darkest of hours. I want to be healthier; I don’t ever want to spend another night on the bathroom floor thinking that the world would be better off if my life ended on the business end of a razor blade. Sometimes I wonder where the balance is and I’m still trying to find it. That search isn’t helped by the people who tell me I was “so much prettier when I was thin.”
But all of it–Asperger diagnosis, med change, therapy, more therapy, weight loss, weight gain–all of it needs to come in balance. My writing, too, is often fueled by coffee laced with way too much artificial flavored creamer; my one published story is practically an ode to Wild Mountain Blueberry and amaretto creamer.
All things in balance–caffeine and sugar, too. I deserve to be the best me I can be, right? Here’s to the journey.
This is a good word, Robin! I’m passing it along. I think it’s something all of us struggle with. Thanks so much for sharing.
Thanks, Jessie!
Elizabeth, this is a very brave and open thing to share, and I appreciate you for doing it. It also makes me so sad because I THINK YOU’RE WONDERFUL! You’re one of the kindest people I’ve ever met, and please know that you’ve added value to my life in the time we’ve spent together in person and online, and I know you’ve been important to other people, too.
But I also know that sometimes hearing that isn’t enough to make you feel happy in dark times. Still, that won’t ever keep me from saying it!
Food issues, weight issues, health issues … they really interfere with us using our wonderful creative minds for better things besides obsessing about what we just ate, what we’re going to eat next, wish I hadn’t eaten that, I should probably eat that …
I think what you said is absolutely the bottom line: we all just want to feel healthy. No matter what size we are, how we look — we just want to feel great. All the time. Every day. And hearing “You used to look so much better!” – ugh. So not helpful.
It’s an internal and personal issue. We want to feel how we feel at our own best. It’s up to us to decide what that is.
I support you, Elizabeth, in being yourself no matter what! That self is a beautiful person!