I woke up last Saturday
in the dark
to the sound of someone snoring
inside the hallway of my apartment.
I discovered it was a drunk college student
who had entered while I slept
and had passed out on the floor.
After failing to rouse him,
I walked over to Safeway
(around 4:30 a.m.)
barefoot,
wearing a t shirt and running shorts
and wielding a large hunting knife.
I borrowed an employee's cell phone
and called 911.
When the police arrived
and entered my apartment
they discovered that the drunk college student
was now sleeping
inside my bed.
I watched from the kitchen as he resisted arrest -
thanked the three officers,
passed on pressing charges,
threw my sheets in the washing machine,
and headed out for breakfast.
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