I have a pet peeve. He is cute and purple and his name is Steve. He looks like this:
Steve is a kind and caring peeve. He is adorable and I am very sad when people upset him. You see, Steve is very concious of kilowatts. It's not his fault. He self-actualized because of something I learned from my father.You see, I grew up with a wonderful father who has the same kind of imagination I do. Only... I beat him in the insane department. But anyway. When either I or one of my siblings left lights on unnecessarily in the house my dad would cry: 
And so forth. I would look up into the flourescent light and it hurt my eyes, so I stopped and looked down at the non-flourescent tile floor instead, and imagined the light in my head. Then I would imagine the microscopic insides of a lightbulb:
I thought killowatts were like blue shining amoebas. I'm pretty sure that is not the case, sadly, but whatever. I don't have to be defined by reality. And that's not the point. The point is Steve Peeve is disstressed when people go around killing them all of the time. That's actually one of the things I like about the college I am attending. They have little signs at all the lights reminding people to turn them off when they are not being used. And it makes Steve Peeve happy. And he dances. And has a party. And drinks glasses of sparkling water through an orange straw, because Steve Peeve is just that cool. 
So think of Steve. Don't kill the killowatts. Have a party with sparkling water and epic orange straws instead, because that is much more awesome.
And so forth. I would look up into the flourescent light and it hurt my eyes, so I stopped and looked down at the non-flourescent tile floor instead, and imagined the light in my head. Then I would imagine the microscopic insides of a lightbulb:
I thought killowatts were like blue shining amoebas. I'm pretty sure that is not the case, sadly, but whatever. I don't have to be defined by reality. And that's not the point. The point is Steve Peeve is disstressed when people go around killing them all of the time. That's actually one of the things I like about the college I am attending. They have little signs at all the lights reminding people to turn them off when they are not being used. And it makes Steve Peeve happy. And he dances. And has a party. And drinks glasses of sparkling water through an orange straw, because Steve Peeve is just that cool. So think of Steve. Don't kill the killowatts. Have a party with sparkling water and epic orange straws instead, because that is much more awesome.
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