I’ve had a whole bunch of stuff change in the last few months. Without getting into too much: I’ve had to go back to school (no choice, the gov moved our cert dates back 11 months), start physical therapy, taking a woozy pill that knocks me about by 10:30, get a second job, and had personal & family financial emergencies happen. Because of all that, I’m at a loss for time. My writing has been all but pushed aside as I’ll have to try wade through all of this for six months so things can be cleaned up. Unfortunately, the financial things are not little.

On top of all this, I’ve had a run of… how to put this… emotional kicks.

I’ve always been one to say yes, to give people as much time as I can, to not think “oh if I do this, then that person owes me a favor.” But, over the last year I’ve been seeing a pattern. Maybe it’s because I’ve been so willing to do things for people — often for free where I’d typically charge. Or maybe it’s just the way of the world now.

Here’s what I’ve been seeing: People ask for my help or opinion. I give it. It’s completely disregarded until someone more famous, more successful, better liked, with a bigger following, with more experience …whatever More they are… says the exact same thing. And then the person sings the praises of that More Person. This has happened in writing and in HR stuff. I’m exhausted from looking at resumes for people, never getting ASKED just “here’s my resume. What do you think?” - just handed resumes -and then getting a note back about why I’m wrong and what they’re going to do instead.

Darlin’ when it comes to resumes….I’m seldom wrong.

When it comes to writing… Ok, yes. I can be wrong. But, here’s the thing – I feel like I’m getting asked for help/advice when the person KNOWS they’re going to ask someone who they respect more after me.

This is not only hurtful, but it’s a huge, Huge, HUGE freaking waste of my time.

So, for the next 30 days (after a phone call tomorrow and a crit due this weekend) – I’m say ‘no’ to everything from everyone. Period.

With my 20 mins 3 days a week (if I’m lucky) to write, I’m not giving it away. I’m guarding my feelings and my time. I have to get my own stuff done and the next 6 months will let me know exactly where my life is going to be landing for quite a while.

And so, if you’re a close friend, a friend, an acquaintance or a follower — please realize that whatever you send my way for the next 30 days is going to get a very polite, “I’m sorry, but no. I can’t” response because sometimes you have to draw a line in the sand. Sometimes, you have to do what’s best for you even if others don’t understand.