Oh boy, is this familiar! Some of my early picture books were completely unsellable. I'm glad only my writing group saw them--and talked me down. After many many years, I finally wrote one that had some potential. Just like everything else, learning to write PBs is a process. :-)

Your story might not be very marketable, but it WAS very cute. Thanks for sharing -- both the tale and the insight.

I really liked it, but I'm no expert.

Not much rhyme or reason to why some PBs get pubbed and others don't. We have some that are fantastic (The Gruffalo and others by Julia Donalson/Axel Schffler) and some that are so crap-tacular that I wonder if they were written by handicapped raccoons.

Dotti--
Rejection Reason Number 1 was a shocker to me. I did not realize that editors prefer third person. All 12 of my published picture books (except the folk tale) are written in first person. In fact, when I write in third person the story feels stilted. I would say that about 90 percent of all my rejected PB manuscripts are wirtten in third person. But I must admit my PBs are for an older audience -- the ones who are reading the stories themselves. I suspect the younger kiddos, who are being read to, might get confused hearing the parent say "I"

I have one, "Oh, What A Wind It Was!", that's been rejected over and over. Yet when I read it at school visits, the kids and teachers love it, and the teachers can't understand why it's been rejected. I think I've finally figured it out. It's the performance. When I'm up there reading the story and acting like a goof-ball, the kids laugh and laugh. But on the printed page, the story falls flat. That's what I'm told, anyway. Frankly, I still think it's a winner. But it's what the editors think that counts.

Wow, you got a lot better over the years! LOL. Thanks for sharing that, Dotti. Although, I will say, it sounds much better than some I've seen in the stores lately. ;-) bobbi c.

Sherry, that was the reason I heard most. First from my agent, then from the few editors I had the guts to send it too. It may have to do with subject matter as well.

Same here. If editors would read it like we do it'd be in print ASAP.

Wait...what? I've always been great. :)

Thanks, Ella.

Are any other picture book authors considering finding a like-minded illustrator and self-publishing?

Thanks for this post, Dotti. Personally, I think the story is still cute. :)

This is an excellent post! And other than the nameless part, I don't have an issue with the other points! :)

Thanks for sharing this Dotti. What an adorable story. Sorry it didn't get picked up :/
I never heard about the third person preference with pbs.

Great post! Thank you for having the chops to share this with us so we can all learn.

Thank you for this! Sometimes it's easier to use another's experience as a mirror...we all thank you for being willing to share!
--Carter

I didn't know you shouldn't post your stories on your blog. I've posted a poem I'm going to illustrate and self publish.

All reasons are a bit harsh. Sure the ending is somewhat predictable - but I've read many much loved best selling books with predictable endings.

Do kids like it? I wrote a story that has an ending like a 'Just So' folkstory - the punchline tells why Koala's prefer living in the tops of trees. I was told that such 'Pour-quoi' stories are out of fashion. Kids still like it.

Why not consider publishing it yourself on www.uTales.com as an app which you can build yourself at zero cost, collaborating with an illustrtaor? Work published there is still regarded as 'traditionally published' because Emma Drysdale is a well recognised editor, and she heads the editorial panel. And part of profits go to the very worthy charity 'Pencils of Promise' that partners with communities in the developing world to build schools and libraries.

Peter, I've seen this site before, but never have been able to find any submission guidelines.

It's different when you self-publish.

Thanks very much for sharing. I think you're very brave - plus you have shortened the learning curve for the rest of us.

I remember this story and I always liked the 'silly faces' :-)

By the way, with the first person pov I've had the main character introduce herself in the first sentence - that way the reader knows the name.

However, I do think first person can be really tricky with very young characters, especially as a four-year-old child doesn't necessarily talk in grammatical sentences. I had a problem with the phrase 'Me and Arnold', and in the US version in some instances it was changed to 'Arnold and I', which is 'correct' but doesn't sound 'real'. Making your 'voice' young enough is difficult with picture books, unless you make your character school age, as you've done.

And ha ha, great blog minds think alike. I was going to analyse the faults of my first-ever pb in my next blog!

Paeony, your NO MORE BISCUITS inspired the voice for this one. I learned a lot about writing PBs from you. Even though I've only been able to sell the ones I wrote for older kids.

Great article!! And I enjoyed reading your story!

Thanks, Linda!

Ah yes, there's a lot more to writing PBs that what people think. And so much of it has to do with the execution and word selection. I wrote some that made no sense at all. Well,they did to me at the time, of course.

What a great spot in your writing journey! You're able to see differences and flaws and learn from them. Way to go.

I thought it was pretty cute, but then again, most publishers don't want a simply 'cute' piece do they. Too bad, as an artist, I could really envision the images.

I wish I could spell when I comment on blogs! Appprat from typos, the editor is actually Emma Dryden. She's the former publisher at Simon and Schuster Children's Books and editor at Random House (but now freelance).

At http://utales.com/books?locale=en you can look at previews of all their books. Something like 'The Ugly Duckling' will show you the kind of animations that are possible - plus more in other books.

I understand that audio and narration is an option in the pipeline.

You will see from books published that, though there is editorial control, it allows much more freedom than traditional publishers.

For any writer/illustrator, it provides a publishing credit worth having. Because of Emma's status, in Australia at least, books published there count as 'traditional' when people apply for grants only open to published creators.

From looking at the books, I'd compile a list of my favourite illustrators, who obviously know how it's done. You can then ask them if they'd like to collaborate and work on your text. I'm sure most have a website that's easy to find, but you'll also discover them and others on Facebook at 'utales collaborations':

http://www.facebook.com/groups/utalers/#!/groups/utalers/

If you wanted to, you could post on there, add a link to this blog-post and story, and ask if anyone would like to illustrate it (share any revenue 50:50). I'm sure you'd get some offers - you don't have to accept them if the person's style is not to your taste.

Illustrator readers of this blog who are unpublished may also choose to make offers there to illustrate a story for someone.

But I don't think you or anyone will be retiring on the profits. Many like the idea of a third of the profit going to http://www.pencilsofpromise.org/

As a prospective app developer, I believe the first thing I think you have to do is sign up at
http://utales.com/users/sign_up
and create a free account. It might also be a good idea to read the terms and conditions.


This is a great link for everyone:

http://io9.com/5916970/the-22-rules-of-storytelling-according-to-pixar

Best wishes to all

Peter

This is great, Peter! I just joined the facebook page. Thanks so much!!!

I joined, but I don't have the option of posting on the wall. :-/

Hi Dotti
I liked the story and I thought first person a plus.
My own award winner, Mending Lucille, is told in first person. Have you thought of putting your story on Utales.com?
Best wishes
Jennifer

Ahhh. You may have to join uTales first before you can post on Facebook uTales Collaborations. It's a long time since I joined. Sorry to send you on a frustrating click-about. At least you can check out who is there and offering their skills.

If you don't manage to join uTales easily, I may be able to send you an invitation - but I'll somehow make sure you're in and able to look around.

Of course, you could well decide on another option.

You can see a little of how books and apps are created, and the tools available, at
http://vimeopro.com/utales/howto

Thanks for sharing this eye-opener, Dotti. I'm trying my hand at PBs and realize I have much to learn about the genre, but I don't agree with those who rejected your PB. I've read many stories that didn't come close to the charm of yours. And in any event, a tiny bit of tweaking would have put things right. Too bad no editor was willing to cut you some slack on that.

Thanks for sharing this story, the comments and your thoughts Dotti. It's brave and so interesting. I enjoy seeing the step by step of a manuscripts journey. And I'm thinking you're not finished with this one yet--it's a great premise, and it's still niggling, eh?