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By:
Darcy Pattison,
on 8/12/2009
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Darcy Pattison's Revision Notes
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Does Format change a story?
Format. Yes, it makes a difference. How you present information or how you present a story make a difference to the text. For example, I’ve been wanting to write a nonfiction book about a topic and tried writing a proposal for a middle grade book. It didn’t seem right.
But then, I decided to try it as a non-fiction ABC book and it has worked well. That format – short snippets of information about 26 subjects – covers the topic very well. Yes, I could include much, much more information; isn’t that always true about a topic you’re passionate about? But this covers the right amount of information for the early elementary years. Just enough, but not overwhelming. The format is right.
Notice that this format change also meant a change in the age of the intended audience.
I’ve taken stories and tried them as a graphic novel, as a middle grade novel and as a YA novel. I’ve taken an early chapter book and divided it into six equal-length chapters, and then divided it again into multiple short, uneven-length chapters (such as Moxy Maxwell Does Not Love Stuart Little). The story doesn’t change, but it feels very different. There are books which I find I can’t read, (Heaven’s Eyes by David Almond) but when I listen to the audio version, I love it. I wonder if stories will feel different when read as an ebook?

Audience and format can change the content, the voice, the tone, or the overall feel of a story. What format do you envision for your story? How does that affect what/how you write?
Related posts:
- Michelle Nagler, Bloomsbury
- Manuscript Length
By:
Darcy Pattison,
on 6/19/2009
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I’m writing a picture book that I know should work. But it’s not.
Consider the Picture Book Audience

Part of the problem with this story is that it’s set in a commercial kitchen and I have a kid who wants to cook. Critiquers tell me that the writing is great, the kid is great, but they wonder about that kid in a commercial kitchen.
Wouldn’t it violate child labor laws?
Wouldn’t the kid be in danger of getting burned?
Would a kid even WANT to be a cook? Why?
How old is this kid anyway?
Why is the kid even in this restaurant, so he gets hooked on cooking? Maybe, it’s his uncle’s restaurant and his parents work and he has to go over there after school and study.
ARGH! No!
Obviously, the adult audience for this story doesn’t connect. What about the kid audience?
At nine or ten, I was baking birthday cakes — from scratch — for my six brothers and sisters. One of the few dissenters in the group of critiquers says that her kids LOVE to make her coffee (Obviously, she lives in the great NW.) It just seems natural to me that a kid would want to cook! I’m convinced the story will work, if I can get around the adult objections.
And I do understand the objections. And I will address the objections. But it will mean starting from scratch and reconsidering both audiences for picture books, the adult and the child.
Research, then Revise
I decided to research. I’ve read through How I Learned to Cook, edited by Kimberly Witherspoon and Peter Meehan. This fascinating book is first-person accounts from some of the world’s greatest chefs on how they fell in love with cooking as a way of life. 
Many of the accounts are about a chef’s young adult years, or about some mistake s/he made during chef school or at a first job. But a couple were about falling in love with food and cooking at an early age. I’m also doing free-writes about why I liked cooking as a nine year old. And I’m reaffirming what is the heart of the story for me, remembering why I wanted to write this story.
A new draft will come. And it will be better.
Post from: Revision Notes
Revise Your Novel!
Copyright 2009. Darcy Pattison. All Rights Reserved.
Related posts:
- The Dual Audience for Picture Books
- Audience
- Audience
Do you pay attention to your audience when you write, or do you write for yourself, an audience of one?
PW’s Shelf Talker Josie Leavitt has an interesting posting on when toddlers pick out their own books. Even as toddlers, boys and girls choose books differently. Both are passionate about the books they love and both love bright colors. But boys tend toward the blue, while girls go for pink and purple.


Mouse was Mad by Linda Urban and Duck! Rabbit! by Amy Krause Rosenthall are reported to be popular with both girls and boys. They are still bright and bold, but Mouse is mostly yellow and Duck is black on white.
Leavitt’s column discusses color, something out of the scope of most writers; yet, her basic ideas applies to all of us: we should consider our audience when we write. We should think of their developmental age, reading level, interests, culture, etc.
Do you consider your audience as you write your toddler booK?
As you write and revise your preschooler’s picture book?
As you write and revise your children’s picture book aimed at school-age kids?
As you write and revise your middle grade novel for those tweens?
As you write and revise your YA novel?
As you write and revise that article for your local newspaper?
As you write (and revise) your grocery list?
As you write the letter to your child’s teacher?
As you write your blog postings?
Post from: Revision Notes
Revise Your Novel!
Copyright 2009. Darcy Pattison. All Rights Reserved.
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- Audience Considerations
- A Real Audience
Keeping in touch with kids is hard sometimes. I’ve been working on lists of picture book ideas for Friday Ideas and I find myself writing nonsense! No kid would be interested in some of the ideas I put down.
Then, my grand-daughter came to visit and I remembered what I must never forget: kids have a wide variety of interests. Still - there are some ideas better suited to preschoolers, some to school age, some for teens.
How do you keep up with kids? Here are some suggestions.
Volunteer with Kids. Volunteer in your local school, church, or community organization. Volunteer to read for a local story hour at a bookstore or library. Just an hour a week or every other week will keep you in touch with today’s slang, clothing, etc. And it will remind you of why you write for kids.
Re-read Your Favorite Children’s Books. Read for pure pleasure this time, not to analyze, but just to enjoy. Need a nudge to remember your favorite?
Read New Children’s Books. At least once a month, spend an hour or so at a local bookstore, studying the new picture books. This time, you do want to analyze. What publisher is doing what sorts of books? Any surprises? Get chatty with the children’s bookseller and ask what titles are selling well. Be a book market detective for a while. If you sit there long enough, you’ll see an elegantly dressed grandmotherly sort come in and ask for Fancy Nancy. You’ll see a mother dragging three kids with her come in and absolutely charm them by reading a story to them right there in the store. You’ll remember why you write for kids.
This works for any audience you write for: Do you write for quilters? Then attend a quilting class. Do you write for mystery lovers? Host a mystery dinner party. Do you write for fantasy lovers? Get thee a costume and attend a Con. Get in touch with your audience, and you’ll write stronger and better.
Post from: Revision Notes
Revise Your Novel!
Copyright 2009. Darcy Pattison. All Rights Reserved.
Related posts:
- humor for kids
- 4 Habits That Help Your Writing
- Why do kids like Harry Potter?
Sparked by a thread over at Absolute Write, I thought it might be interesting to look at what hooks a boy reader vs. a girl reader in the Chapter Book/Middle Grade category. As a writer of what may be classified as ‘boy books,’ I strive hard to cross the gender line and create stories that will appeal to girls as well. This is a challenge I know many writers face, because marketability is first
By:
Just One More Book!!,
on 2/28/2008
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Author: Susan Katz
Illustrator: Stacey Schuett
Published: 2007 Clarion Books (on JOMB)
ISBN: 0618702229 Chapters.ca Amazon.com
Forty-six pages of engaging illustration and thirty-four distinct, rhyme-free poems share the reluctant introduction, suspenseful separation and joyous reunion of a young boy and his surprisingly expressive new pet.
Poetry Fridays are brought to us by Kelly Herold of Big A, Little A.
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Haddix, Margaret Peterson. 2006. Among the free.
This is the final title I'm going to have time to squeeze in most likely for the Dystopian fiction challenge. (It ends November 6th). This is the the last in the Shadow Children series, I believe. The narrator is Luke who has been our on again off again narrator for the series. (For the most part, I think the changing narratives works.) Luke is working undercover for the Population Police. (Really, he's just hoping that he and his friends can sabotage the bad guys in enough little ways that they won't have to have a planned, detailed offensive strike.) Life isn't easy for Luke. It never has been. He's still haunted by the loss of his first friend who 'sacrificed' her life for third children everywhere by making a stand and calling for action. The day for action may have finally come though...as citizens everywhere...throughout the land...begin to rebel against the Population Police. This book is exciting with plenty of thrills and twists along the way. Will Luke ever be safe? Can he ever be proud to be third?
In this continuation of the infamous Margaret Peterson Haddix series, Among the Enemy is another excellent thriller. In this sixth "episode" we follow Matthias as he tries to protect his friends Alia and Percy, as well as himself, from the Population Police. During a raid of their cabin by the officers, Alia and Percy are gravely injured, while Matthias accidentally saves the life of one of the members of the Population Police, earning him an honored status with the government and a free ride to join up. Matthias doesn't see himself having any other choice besides dying or going to train with his enemy.
When he arrives at the training facility, Matthias meets up with some of his friends from the Hendrick's school and begins to plan an escape. With the usual thrills, Haddix creates quite the page-turner and had me cheering and crying for Matthias and his friends throughout the whole book.
It has been said many times that these books are awesome for reluctant readers of both genders, and that is so true. I have recommended this series to so many kids and adults alike and I have never heard a bad report back. If you've never given this series a try, you won't regret doing so!

Haddix, Margaret Peterson. 2005. Among the Enemy
When the government is overthrown in AMONG THE BRAVE, the celebrations only last for mere minutes. Soon the dreadful news sink in. The Population Police have overthrown the government. And the Population Police show no mercy. Matthias is the narrator in our sixth book of the series. Matthias and his friends Percy and Alia are taken by the population police along with the whole student body of his school. In fact, one of the first things the new government did was to close down all schools and to ‘take’ the children as a work force saying that they’d have to start earning the food they’d eat if they want to survive. But when the truck carrying the three children has an accident, things go in a different direction. While Percy and Matthias survive the crash, their youngest friend, Alia is in serious danger. With a head injury, she remains unconscious for days. Forced to carry her as they make their way through the woods at night, it seems almost unbearable until their situation gets even worse. When Percy is shot in the leg, it’s up to Matthias to figure out a way to save both their lives and his own. What is a young boy to do? Overwhelmed, Matthias’ adventure is only beginning.

Haddix, Margaret Peterson. 2004. Among the Brave.
Trey is our narrator--a character first introduced in Among the Impostors--for our fifth installment in the Shadow Children series. As one of Luke’s closest friends, it is Trey’s responsibility to rescue his friends when they’re captured by the Population Police. But how can a boy who is afraid of practically everything--having been conditioned that way--save anyone? Can he find the courage and strength to help his friends as he knows they would help him if he were the one captured? Trey and Mark, Luke’s real brother, must team up to find him before it’s too late.

Haddix, Margaret Peterson. 2003. Among the Barons.
The fourth in the Shadow Children series, Luke (aka Lee Grant) returns as our narrator. Still at Hendricks School for Troubled Boys, Lee (also called ‘L’) is making great progress with the shadow children. He is trying to teach them how to cope in the world. He’s even coaxed some of them to take their first steps outside. But life still isn’t easy. Especially when Luke learns that Lee Grant’s real brother--Smits--is coming to the school. How will his ‘brother’ treat him? Is he there to threaten him? torture him? tease him? Luke doesn’t know what to expect...but he certainly doesn’t expect to be plunged into a dangerous new world where he’s forced to interact with barons and pass himself off as Lee to the elite society of the Grants. Danger is a constant threat when you’re a third...and change seems to be constant.
Well, I'm swimming in paperwork and stress. That's how the last 2 weeks of school always is--no matter how hard you try to get ahead, the last minute details of teaching are horrendous. So, I haven't been reading much (other than papers), and I obviously haven't been blogging much. I was composing haiku in my sleep last night. Here's what I wrote:
toes burrow in sand
blanketed in summer's duds
worries drift with tides
Can you tell this teacher is ready for summer?
What did I finish? Margaret Peterson Haddix's Shadow Children series. I started it last summer, then got mad when the public library didn't have the last two books. Finally, they got them, and I finished the last one. I really think this would be a cool series to see in film. Her Double Identity is on my to read pile.
Oh, this one reminds me of a family I nannied for. They had two guinea pigs who trained me well. Every time they sensed my presence they would squeel like crazy until I fed them. The children would hitch them up to wagons made out of shoeboxes and race them down the hall. Sadly, I was also there when one of the guinea pigs died. Pets can be so important to the emotional development of children!
Great review, y’all! My eight year old reads this one over and over, too. He just loves it. The poems and the illustrations work really well together; I agree!