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Sunday 48 members met with 5 editors and 1 agent in Princeton for the NJSCBWI Mentoring Workshop.  Everyone received a one-on-one critiques of their manuscripts and everyone met with a pre-assigned critique group.  Before and after lunch we held first page readings and heard the editor’s first impressions of our writing.  The day came to an end with the faculty answering all our burning questions. It was nice to see the new faces that joined us and we even had seven men (something we love).  It seems like more men are writing for children and this is a good thing. 

Nick Eliopulos, editor at Random House announced he will be joining Scholastic as editor in their trade division, which is really nice to have someone from Scholastic.  I took pictures, unfortunately, Nick’s photo didn’t turn out. If you want to see what Nick looks like, I posted his picture on February 6th after the NYC conference.

A good time was had by all.  If you write or illustrate and haven’t joined us, yet.  You should think about our annual conference on June 4th and 5th.  Each year it gets better and better.

Kathy

Clichés are the metaphors and turns of phrase that have become tired through overuse.

You can be near the cliché, you can dance around it, you can run right up to it and almost embrace it. 

But at the last second you must turn away.  You must give it a twist.

Defy that inner voice that says, “Oh, well, no one will notice” – they will.

Give them the same thing…only different!

Even plots and characters can  be clichéd. Have you read a story where twins fool people into thinking they’re the same person? Or the family that has lost all their money and is about to lose their farm? If you want to use one of these old plotlines, it’s important to find a new spin. The same goes for clichéd characters, like the catty cheerleader or the airhead model. Use these stereotypes only if you can give them a twist.

But to know how to avoid the cliché, to know what tradition you are pushing forward, begins with knowing that tradition.  So you need to read and read some more. You need to read other writer’s books and discover what they did that worked.  You need to read with a critical eye to discover why it didn’t work, too.  If you want to write middle grade book, then read middle grade books.  You, also, need to read about writing middle grade books. 

1. You need to know the clichés, to give us the same thing… only different. 

2. You need to know what genre you’re writing, in order to invent a new twist.

3. You need to know the rules before you can break them.

We use clichés all the time when we talk, but there is less excuse for clichés in writing.  Why? A writer has more time to seek the right word and to avoid triteness. If, however, you decide a cliché is the best way to convey your meaning, then go ahead and use it. Don’t apologize for it by adding phrases like ”if you’ll pardon the expression,” or “as the old saying goes.”

Here is a link that lists clichés http://www.suspense.net/whitefish/cliche.htm

Hope this gets you thinking as you revise your manuscripts.

Kathy

In every aspect of creation – from the idea, to the way characters speak, to the scenes themselves – putting a fresh spin on it is what you need to do.

Les Edgerton suggested a book titled, Save the Cat! by Blake Snyder about writing screen plays.  I knew I had to check it out as soon as Les said he felt screenplays and novel-writing have a lot in common, because I had been thinking about that for the last few weeks.  Why had I been thinking about that?  Well, it seems that editors are looking for something that straddles the line between literary and commercial fiction.  When you consider the market and current economy, they really have to take a page from Hollywood’s book. 

Then today I was working on the NJSCBWI Conference and decided to write up something for the people coming to the conference, letting them know to come prepared to talk about what they are working on, before they arrive in June.   So when I started reading through some of the pages in Save the Cat! I was drawn in by Blake talking about how important having an interesting logline or one line pitch.  In his book he points out that one of the important elements for a good one line pitch is irony, because it hooks your  interest. 

Even if you aren’t planning to pitch at the conference or even if you aren’t coming to the conference you should always be ready to give a one line pitch.  I know it sounds funny to say you should always be ready to pitch your story to someone in an elevator, but we actually had one of our members sell his book in an elevator.  So it is important to be ready.

Here are some one line pitches you might recognize:

A cop comes to L.A. to visit his estranged wife and her office building is taken over by terrorist. - Die Hard

A businessman falls in love with a hooker he hires to be his date for the weekend – Pretty Woman

A newly married couple must spend Christmas Day at each of their four divorced parent’s home.  –  4 Christmases

A just-hired employee goes on a company weekend and discovers someone’s try to kill him. – The Retreat

A risk-averse teacher plans on marrying his dream girl but must first accompany his overprotective future brother-in-law — a cop — on a ride along from Hell. - Ride Along

Now that you have the idea, give it a try.  After you perfect your one line pitch, try it out on ten people and use the feedback you get to improve it further.

Here is the link to Save the Cat!  Good Luck and let me know how you make out. 

Kathy

1 Comments on One Line Book Pitch Discussion, last added: 3/24/2010

Yesterday I shared with you an excerpt from Les Edgerton’s book, HOOKED, where he discussed Primary Components.  Today, he finishes up with Secondary Componets.  This is very good stuff and something all writers should try to absorb.

The Secondary Components

Now that we’ve defined the inciting incident, the story-worthy problem, the initial surface problem, and the setup, all of which make up the foundation of an opening scene, let’s look at the secondary components of backstory, a stellar opening sentence, language, character, setting, and foreshadowing. I say secondary because, while the first four ingredients are absolutely crucial to any beginning, these last six take on varying degrees of importance depending on the story and your aims, and some of these latter components may not even appear in some openings.

5. Backstory
This is usually where new writers err the most when it comes to their opening scenes. Backstory includes anything and everything that’s happened up to the time of the inciting incident. There are times when a bit of backstory is necessary for the reader to grasp what’s going on in the inciting incident and why it’s important. However, this is the greatest bane for most editors and agents when they encounter a newly submitted manuscript and is the biggest kiss of death for the work. Tread carefully when considering how much backstory to include in your story.

Are there times when a longer backstory is necessary? Actually, there are. In many police procedurals, mysteries, thrillers and related genres, the story begins often with a crime being committed. The protagonist is nowhere around the scene at the book’s beginning. Many of best-selling novelist John Sandford’s novels are classic examples. They begin with the crime being committed and it’s only later that the protagonist enters the story.

There are other exceptions, such as in Larry Watson’s Montana 1948, which we’ll look at in chapter four.

The danger in telling you that backstory can sometimes be lengthy, is that you may take that as license to provide too much backstory. The single biggest fault of most writers is that they simply don’t trust the reader’s intelligence to “get” what’s going on without providing lengthy backstory. Editors, agents, and writing teachers constantly fight that impulse in writers. Many writers feel the reader has to know that Mary has been married three times, each relationship ending badly, to “understand” why she’s looking for a good relationship. Providing that kind of backstory will most likely lead to rejection and is the kind of backstory that, while indeed important, needs to be doled out at a later point in thestory and bit by bit.

In general, keep backstory either absent from the opening or only include as much as is absolutely necessary to set the scene for the inciting incident. We’ll discuss backstory in greater detail in chapter four.

6. The Opening Line
Spend an awful lot of time on this sentence. In fact, more effort should be expended on your story’s first sentence than on any other line in your entire story. No kidding. The first sentence is the first thing the readers will see when they open the door of your manuscript or story. Make sure it’s a good ’un! One that will create a strong impression. My own favorite is one I used in my short story “The Bad Part of Town,” which begins: He was so mean that wherever he was standing became the bad part of town.

I know it’s my own story and one should at least appear to be somewhat humble, but honestly, do you think most readers would be able to resist reading on after reading that sentence?

7. Language
The opening is where you should create y

One of the most important things you can do as a writer is hook your reader, agent, or editor.  I have talked before on this blog about Les Edgerton and his skill building book FINDING YOUR VOICE.  Well, Les has done it again with his book titled, HOOKED.  Here is an excerpt:

THE COMPONENTS OF AN OPENING SCENE
An opening scene has ten core components: (1) the inciting incident; (2) the story-worthy problem; (3) the initial surface problem; (4) the setup; (5) backstory; (6) a stellar opening sentence; (7) language; (8) character; (9) setting; and (10) foreshadowing. Let’s take a quick look at each and how they work together to help the opening scene achieve its unique goals. This is only an overview, as these elements are discussed in greater detail in later chapters.

The Primary Components
Each of the ten components is important, but some are more important than others. The four most important, in almost all stories, are the inciting incident, the story-worthy problem that is introduced by the inciting incident, the initial surface problem that is directly created as a result of the inciting incident, and the setup. The importance of the last six ingredients varies according to the individual story, but even though important, they usually take a back seat to the first four.

1. The Inciting Incident
As noted in the previous chapter, the inciting incident is the event that creates the character’s initial surface problem and introduces the first inklings of the story-worthy problem. In essence, this is the “action” part of the story, the part that is plot-based. This happens to the protagonist, then he does this to resolve it, then this, and so on.

2. The Story-Worthy Problem
The inciting incident sets the stage for the story-worthy problem, which functions just beneath the surface of the story on a more psychological level. Consider it the driving force behind the initial surface problem as it’s ultimately what the protagonist must reconcile at the end of the story. The inciting incident introduces this problem by either bringing to the forefront a buried problem or creating a new one, thus beginning the gradual revealing process that will encompass the rest of the story as the protagonist’s—and the reader’s—understanding of the true nature of story-worthy problem deepens.

3. The Initial Surface Problem
This is the problem that occurs as a direct result of the inciting incident. And while it may seem at first glance that solving this problem is what the story is really all about, it’s not. As we just discussed in the previous section, every story is ultimately about solving the deeper, more complicated story-worthy problem that is slowly revealed as the story progresses. So why does the initial surface problem qualify as a primary opening scene component? Simple. It propels the protagonist to take action (he wants to solve it, or at least he better for your story to work), and assists in the eventual revelation of the story-worthy problem.

Keep in mind that the initial surface problem can evolve into or create additional, even larger surface problems, but that these must rise organically from the initial problem and always be firmly moored to the story-worthy problem.

4. The Setup
The definition of the setup is just that—it “sets up” the opening scene by giving a snapshot that allows what will take place in the following scene to be clear to the reader. The last thing you want to happen is to force the reader to “backtrack” to make sense of what’s taking place in the scene. That’s why opening directly with dialogue is usually a mistake. Unles

A couple of days ago I blogged about Nicola Morgan and her tips for planning your story.  While surfing her blog, I noticed she mentioned she tried Writer’s Cafe, a writing software.  I guess this got me thinking about what is available for writers and whether they bring any value to the table.  Right now I don’t have the answer to the value question, so I was hoping one of you may  have tried one or may even be using one now and couldn’t share your thoughts with us. 

In the meantime, I did some searching and this is what I found.  You can click on the pictures and be taken to their site.  Many offer free trials or free demos.  Most cost between $40 and $70, some are free.  I list one that is only for Mac’s – looks really good, but I don’t have a mac, so I could download that demo or trial.  Here’s what I found:

Plus, I found iWrite Assistant, a website that will let you track what you send out.  It keeps track of your contacts, what you send, when you sent it and it will even keep track of the money you received, if you are successful – and it is FREE.  It only takes a minute to sign up for a free account.  I’m for trying anything that makes life easier and is free.  I look forward to using it.  Here’s the link http://www.iwriteassistant.co.uk

I love tech stuff, but sometimes life gets too busy to try and learn something new, even if it is cool and could help with the process.  If any of you do a trial, I’d love to know what you thought about the software and the learning curve.

Kathy

Yesterday, I was talking with Laurie Wallmark and she said her publisher wanted her to change the title of her book that is being published next year.  I gave her some suggestions, most of which she hadthought of already.  So as luck would have it, today I ran across a post by Literary Agent, Rachelle Gardner from Word Serve Literary on her Rants and Ramblings blog discussing this exact subject. 

One of the questions I always ask an author is, “Was that the title you started with?”  I can’t remember anyone telling me, “Yes,” yet.  Titles – they are so important and yet, so hard to get right.  Anyway, I thought I would pass on Rachelle’s tips and give you the link to her blog, since she has lots of other good stuff you could use.  Here’s Rachelle’s 9 excellent tips.

1.  Know the genre of your book, and identify what kind of feeling or tone you want to convey with the title. Write it down. This is important, as I’ve seen humorous books with dead-serious titles, contemporary books whose titles say “historical romance,” novels that sound like self-help books… you get the picture. Be clear on what your title needs to instantly communicate.  Now you are ready to start brainstorming.

2.  Find twenty books on Amazon that are in the same genre as yours and whose titles you like. Write down their titles. Try to get a feel for what works with your genre. What do you like about the titles? What don’t you like? Then put the list away for awhile.

3.  Sit with a pencil and paper (and maybe your critique group and a white-board) and free-associate, making lists of words related to your book. Put them in columns: nouns, verbs, adjectives. If it’s a novel, list words that describe or suggest the setting. Then think about each of your major characters and write down words that relate to them. Think about the action in the story and write down verbs that capture it. If your book is non-fiction, list words that capture what you want your reader to think, feel or do after reading it. And words that describe what your book is about.

4.  Nothing is off limits—write down anything you can think of that conveys anything about your book. Use visual words that suggest a scene. Other words that evoke an emotion. A sensation. A location. A question. You should have at least 100 words.

5.  See if any of the words would work as a single-word title. Then start experimenting with different word combinations. Adjective-noun, verb-noun. Keep a thesaurus handy and look up other words. Write down as many word combinations as you can. Try not to self-censor at this stage.

6.  From these lists, come up with at least 20 possible titles. Then put them away for 24 hours. Two things will happen: your subconscious may still be working on it; and when you come back to your list, you’ll have fresh eyes.

7.  Go back to your title list. Add any new ideas you’ve had. Then narrow it down to three to five possibilities. Run them by a few people. (This may or may not help, depending on if there’s a consensus or the opinions are all over the map.) Take a little more time before narrowing it down to one. If you can, wait another day or two.

8.  Remember your list of titles from Amazon? Go back to it. Ask yourself if the title you’ve chosen would fit the list—without being too similar or generic.

9. Ask yourself the following questions about your