new posts in all blogs
Viewing: Blog Posts Tagged with: Christian Living, Most Recent at Top [Help]
Results 26 - 39 of 39
How to use this Page
You are viewing the most recent posts tagged with the words: Christian Living in the JacketFlap blog reader. What is a tag? Think of a tag as a keyword or category label. Tags can both help you find posts on JacketFlap.com as well as provide an easy way for you to "remember" and classify posts for later recall. Try adding a tag yourself by clicking "Add a tag" below a post's header. Scroll down through the list of Recent Posts in the left column and click on a post title that sounds interesting. You can view all posts from a specific blog by clicking the Blog name in the right column, or you can click a 'More Posts from this Blog' link in any individual post.
by Sally Matheny
 |
| The Perils of a Pastor's Wife |
Growing up, I remember a variety of wives serving alongside their pastor-husbands. On Sundays, I noticed their kindness and smiling faces. I remember their immaculate appearance—hair teased and sprayed in place, crisply ironed skirts with coordinating jackets, hose, and shiny high heeled shoes that matched their purses. As I child, I thought these women were as polished as the pearls on their necks.
Of course, as I matured, I realized the life of a pastor’s wife is not as pristine as I’d imagined. While she finds joy in serving alongside her husband, the pastor’s wife also discovers she’s frequently in battle.
Nan Jones knows this as well, and has penned a wonderful book, The Perils of a Pastor’s Wife. Chapter by chapter, Nan discusses various perils including ones on meeting expectations, battle fatigue, anxiety and fear, and a strained marriage. Nan exchanges her opaque, pearl necklace for a crystal one so readers can clearly see her heart and relate to her experiences.
“Nan offers a hand to hold, aha moments of healing, and soul-strengthening biblical insight.” She takes you straight to God’s Word for hope and encouragement. Also, you’ll find sprinkles of humor as you learn how God worked in Nan’s life, even through persimmon-colored linoleum.
Read more »
When I first met Nan Jones at a Christian Devotions writers’ conference several years ago, I immediately sensed the fragrance of her love for Christ.Over the years, I’ve watched Nan consistently cling to that love and put her faith into action.
She is an author/speaker who “uses the words of her heart to assist fellow Christians in discovering the Presence of God in their darkest hour. Her devotional blog, Morning Glory, has become a place of community for Christians to find encouragement in God’s Word and comfort in His Presence.”
She has been published in several anthologies as well as the online inspirational sites Christian Devotions, and Inspire a Fire.
Lighthouse Publishing of the Carolinas will release her debut book, The Perils of a Pastor’s Wife June 30, 2015. Blessed to be a beta reader, I can say this book is wonderful. You’ll hear more about that in an interview I do with Nan later this summer.
Nan also features as a guest blogger on several sites and I’m delighted to have her guest blogging for me this week
Finding God's Presence ~ Daddy, I Love You
by Nan Jones
The pitter-patter of tiny feet echoed through the hallway, running gleefully towards her dad.
"Daddy! Daddy!"Daddy sat his briefcase by the door just in time to receive a leaping toddler into his strong arms. Father and daughter hugged, exchanging glances that reflected their adoration of one another. Hearts raced. Faces smiled. Eyes gleamed.
The child relaxed in her daddy's arms. She placed her chubby little cheek next to her father's and quietly whispered, "Daddy ... I love you, daddy."
The one the child had been seeking, she found.
Read more »
by Sally Matheny
 |
| The National D-Day Memorial |
The week of our family vacation began on a sunny note but quickly immersed under thick clouds and drizzling rain.
Even though the dreary weather lounged in Virginia for days, we still had plenty of choices of things to do.
The day of our departure was June 5. The dense fog that had lingered all week rose just above the treetops. The rain ceased so we hurriedly ventured on a chair lift ride up the mountain before checking out. By the time we reached the top, we were in the dense fog again and couldn’t enjoy the view.
We decided we might as well head home. As we descended the mountain, I thought about how the thick clouds caused problems on another June 5. Originally, WWII’s D-Day was scheduled for June 5, 1944.
But British meteorologists said the weather would not permit a successful invasion of Normandy, France. Although it was sunny on June 4, Eisenhower trusted the meteorologists and wisely postponed the invasion until June 6.
The National D-Day Memorial was a thirty-minute detour off our route home. Usually, the GPS is set for home and there are no stops except for the essentials—gas, food, and restrooms. But this year, we chose to deviate from our set ways.
By the time we reached Bedford, Virginia blue skies welcomed us. The admission tickets purchased at the Welcome Center include an optional guided tour. At first, I thought the price was a bit high but not after I found out it is a non-profit and does not receive federal or state funding. At the conclusion of our visit, we all thought the D-Day Memorial was clearly a worthwhile journey.
Read more »
by Sally Matheny
 |
| May is Date Your Mate Month |
Are you married? Did you know May is “Date Your Mate” month? It’s essential we put caring for Biblically based marriages at the top of our lists. Christians, our marriages are influential testimonies to the love and power of God.
Perhaps you already date your spouse on a regular basis. Fantastic! Or perhaps you’re like me, and you find date nights just don’t come around often enough. Let’s put aside all our excuses and brainstorm for some ideas on how to make date nights happen.
Read more »
by Sally Matheny
 |
| You Never Know Who Is Watching |
Even though writers' conferences can be physically exhausting, I still feel revived after participating in this year’s Write2ignite Conference. Not only through the reinforcing of my writing skills, but also through the refreshing of my spirit.
If you didn’t attend the 2015 Write2Ignite Conference, allow me to share with you a glimpse of some blessings I witnessed. I’m sure there were additional blessings, because you never know who is watching at a writers’ conference.
Here’s my short list:
I witnessed an outstanding director, Jean Hall, who has the amazing gift of staying calm under all circumstances, and keeps things running smoothly. Her faith in God to bring it all together is always apparent. And she also carries a handy-dandy, tiny pair of scissors on her key chain. I’m looking for a miniature roll of duct tape so she’ll have the perfect combo set.
A super, helpful young man named Dylan came to help the team set up for the conference. Dylan maintained a quiet presence during the entire conference and was always there to help whenever called upon. He also had excellent skills for noticing items people misplaced.
I had the pleasure of transporting author, Tim Shoemaker, back and forth to the conference each day. I appreciated his helpful words as I shared with him about my pre-speaking jitters. In addition, he was kind and understanding when I missed our turn-off and when I kept juggling and dropping things once we arrived!
I knew, without a doubt, my family was praying for me back at home. Several friends mentioned they were praying for me. But what a blessing it was to have Kim Peterson and Jenny Cote individually pull me aside and whisper a prayer over me before I spoke. God heard all our prayers and his amazing grace calmed me just before I stepped behind the podium. Thank you, Lord.
I noticed smiling teens enthusiastic about writing. One teen in particular I heard go up to Tim Shoemaker and thank him for speaking. She said she didn’t write for boys but his talk about the topic helped her have a better understanding of her brother!
 |
| Tim Shoemaker talks with a teen. |
I observed numerous authors and editors taking time to chat with teens and adults outside of the classrooms. Award-winning author of six books, Jenny Cote paused to offer a word of praise to those selling their first published book. Those encouraging words go a long way.
Watching members of the leadership team do their jobs with enthusiasm is always a blessing. It’s like a joyful family reunion whenever we get together and we all love the mission of Write2Ignite.
During Praise and Worship time, I loved watching Donna Earnhardt take heed of the Holy Spirit prompting her to call on someone to give a testimony. What a tremendous blessing to hear a young teen girl, without prior notice, volunteer. She eagerly shared a vivid description of when the woman with the alabaster box poured perfume on Jesus’ feet. If that wasn't enough, Donna, who had been wiping her tears as she listened to the girl speak, then stepped up to show the audience the song lyrics that were already cued up for the next song, “The Alabaster Box.” How awesome was that?
Later, another woman shared her testimony of how God spared her life in a horrific accident, providing her a second chance to accept His love and eternal salvation. She reminded us of the importance of seizing those opportunities today, not to wait. Even though this woman still experiences tremendous physical pain every day, she is using her written and spoken words to point others in the direction of her Savior.
I watched people volunteer to help others all weekend—with an umbrella, a ride to lunch, and a seat in the auditorium. Smiles, prayers, and encouraging words weaved throughout the crowd.
Even the homeschool mom, who volunteered to help with the snacks in the Green Room, continually checked to make sure everyone had what they needed. She kept asking if the coffee was fresh enough. She cared about those she served and gave full attention to every detail. What a blessing.
There were numerous others who volunteered their time and talents to the conference, some of whose names I do not know. But one was Helen Weigt who designed our resource book and then served at the front desk during the conference. Her talent and friendly smile blessed us all.
I saw God’s blessings overflow this weekend. I can’t help but wonder what others perceived. Surely, in the crowd on campus, there was someone who was struggling with a life issue, someone who was lonely, or someone who is not in a close relationship with Jesus Christ. I hope they saw a glimpse of what I saw.
If you did attend the Write2Ignite Conference this year, what blessings did you see?
by Sally Matheny
 |
| Bibles Removed From N.C. Church |
The event didn’t make the headlines, but it happened in a North Carolina Baptist church on a chilly, Sunday morning in 2015.
The black Bibles, normally nestled between every two hymnals in each pew, weren’t missed until the morning worship music had already begun. A few people never noticed, but several of the congregation grew concerned. One of the deacons, shaking his head and shrugging his shoulders, discreetly whispered the discovery to the pastor. The pastor nodded in response to the deacon as the praise band continued their music.
When the music ended, the pastor returned to the pulpit and announced for the children to come for the children’s message.
The pastor was my husband. The church was my place of worship.
Read more »
by Sally Matheny
 |
The Ultimate Guide to the Daniel Fast
by Kristen Feola |
When I first opened The Ultimate Guide I thought the book pertained to the Daniel Plan. The Daniel Plan focuses on the wholesome foods Daniel (of the Bible’s Old Testament) ate and why.
The Ultimate Guide to the Daniel Fast is not the Daniel Plan. Same Daniel. Different agenda. Author and nutritional consultant, Kristen Feola presents an appetizing book for “everyone who is hungry to know the Lord in a deeper way.”
The book includes three parts: The Fast (17 pages), The Focus (27 pages), and The Food (140 pages).
After a brief introduction to what the fast is, Feola shares her own personal experiences resulting from the fast as well as the testimonies of countless others. Reading how God worked through the fasting of his people was one of my favorite parts of the book.
Feola also assists the reader during the 21-day fast by providing 21 daily devotionals. Scripture verses are included (most are NIV) as well as more references for additional reading.
Then you get to the food part—that ironically takes over half the book. But, I liked that because of what Feola offers here. At first glance, I wasn’t so sure the recipes would be to my liking. While I don’t fry foods, I’m as southern a gal as they come. My family is typical meat-and-potato eaters. Since they were not participating in the fast, my challenge was to cook something tasty for them without sabotaging my fast. Even my picky-eater enjoyed many recipes!
A list of foods to eat and foods to avoid are listed prior to some suggested meal plans. I don’t want to give away the whole content of the book so I’ll just share a few from each list. Three of the items on the “Foods to Eat” list are fruits, vegetables, whole grains. Three items off the “Foods to Avoid” list are refined and processed food, sweeteners, and meat.
There are over 100 recipes, many with full color photos. I haven’t tried them all yet, but I plan to refer to this book often because all the ones I have tried were delicious! Many of the ingredients were new to my cooking. I soon discovered how easy it is to grind oat flour and flaxseed and use them in recipes.
Recipe categories include: Breakfast, Appetizers & Snacks, Salads, Soups, Vegetables, Main Dishes, and Juices. The most surprising recipe for me was the “Date Honey.” Not the prettiest fruit to work with, but the easy recipe produced a yummy food that could be used alone or in many of the other recipes.
Nutritional stats are not listed, such as calorie and fat counts but I think perhaps that was intentional because that isn't what the fast is about.
This book is delightful and I will continue using it. The devotionals and recipes helped me, especially through the initial difficult days of the fast.
I can’t forecast what the fast will do for you. That’s an individual heart issue between you and God. I know what it did for me. There were specific areas of focused prayer during that time where I drew closer to God and received great blessings. Also, after the initial headaches from sugar and caffeine withdrawal, my body felt more energized, less sluggish. Brain fog lifted and a clearer focus settled in. Because of Feola’s tasty and filling recipes, I almost felt guilty, as if I had not suffered enough for it to be considered a fast.
"Blessed are those who hunger
and thirst for righteousness,
for they will be filled."
Matthew 5:6
by Sally Matheny
 |
| How to Excavate a Deep Conversation |
Is there someone you love, but haven’t ever had a conversation with that scratched below the surface?
Some people open up and their core beliefs abundantly flow out. Others keep their spiritual thoughts in the vault.
Many Christians become distressed about their aging parents. Their love runs deep and they don’t like seeing their parents suffer. Yet, many times, we realize it’s the pain of not having had deeper conversations with them and now time is running short.
Or perhaps other family relationships are merely cordial formalities. You long for something more but conversations seem awkward.
People who go forty, fifty, or sixty years not talking about their relationship with Jesus Christ camouflage the entrance of beautiful and precious relationships. It’s imperative you prune back whatever is stifling these important talks so you can excavate the treasures.
Most likely, the root cause is fear.
Fear of:
Giving misinformation
Being misunderstood
Lack of experience
Inadequate words
Being judged
Rejection
We must remind ourselves we serve a God who casts out fear. Who enables and empowers us to do difficult things.
If we long to have a deep and thriving relationship with family members then we must dig deeper in our conversations. How do we begin excavating after years of neglecting spiritual topics?
The talking terrain may be plush with love, but difficult to dig beneath the surface. For others, talking grounds may have hardened or been covered in Astroturf.
 |
| Some talking terrains are difficult to dig beneath the surface. |
Gather Your Tools
Before you attempt to turn untilled soil, gather your tools.
You’ll need a powerful machete of prayer. Ask God to help you cut through any obstacles with which the enemy tries to entangle you.
Tote along a shovel strengthened with courage and discernment. Ask God for opportunities to break into conversations of the soul. Pray for strength for the task. Seek wisdom for word choice and timing.
Remember the tiny brush of gentleness. Once you penetrate the surface, it’s essential you use tenderness as you dust away the layers.
Start Small
You can start small, but start somewhere. Begin with snippets of blessings. During your next conversation, share a specific experience of how God has blessed you that day. Mention God’s name and be sure to give him the glory—not “luck”.
If necessary, begin by writing a letter, forwarding a devotional, or treating them to a faith-based movie. Think of ways to soften the soil for initiating a conversation.
Sweat and Tears
As you sweat through difficult situations in your own life, share how God is helping you through them. Confess your own inadequacies in understanding it all but, tell why you still cling to Christ, trusting him with all things.
Even through tears of sorrow, tell about the glimmers of joy and hope you still see.
Persevere
Recall with your loved one memories of times when exhaustion set in, mentally, physically, or emotionally. Reveal your struggles. But also share why you persevered. What prize has God set before you that is worth enduring the trials of this world?
Tell them how you see God working through the struggles to strengthen you and prepare you for something better. Can you imagine your life without God in control? Share that.
Discovering the Treasure
Even though it seems the best route, it’s often difficult to unearth the treasure of a deeper relationship with your relative, if you use a bulldozer of sermons. While sermons have their place, they’re not conducive for two-way interactions.
Intentional, thoughtful, and gentle conversations are worth every effort.
Regardless of the results you receive, don’t give up. Fear not. Maintain or upgrade your tools. Trust God to continue working through you.
Deep conversations take time and work. However, the more often you have them, the easier they become to initiate. And once you experience the richness of a deeper relationship, you’ll strive to keep that treasure ever flowing.
Who will you engage with a rich conversation today?
 |
| Engage in rich conversations |
by Sally Matheny
 |
| Celebrating the Top 2014 Blog Posts |
First, I pray you all have a joyful and blessed new year.
Have you spent time pondering on this past year?
It helps me to reflect on blog posts of the past year. I check out the stats to see what topics readers connected with the most.
Here is a countdown of the ten most popular blog posts written in 2014:
Read more »
by Sally Matheny
 |
| Talking About Life and Death |
We were seventeen years old and looking forward to graduation when it happened.
Our friendship began only a year and a half earlier. Her family had recently moved to North Carolina from Ohio. The school year had already begun. She was the new kid without friends and she had cancer.
Our Junior Civinettes club went to her house to welcome her to the neighborhood and to introduce ourselves as her new friends. We were nervous about going because we didn’t know anyone our age with cancer. I knew my boyfriend’s mother had survived Hodgkin’s. That’s what this girl, Jan, had so she was probably going to be alright.
Jan and I became good friends. We hung out at school and visited each other’s homes. We never talked about cancer or life and death. We didn’t talk about it when her sandy blonde hair began to fall out. She only asked if I’d help her brush off the loose hairs from her sweater. I did.
We didn’t talk about life and death when she came to school one day wearing a wig and people began to whisper. And stare. I just walked with her.
We didn’t talk about life and death when she grew weaker. She only asked if I’d help carry her books. I did, and when I couldn’t, I enlisted others to help. Jan had many friends. She always smiled and made conversation easy for those who dared to come close to her. A teen with cancer is a difficult thing to understand. I tried not to think about that. Jan was fun to be with and I knew she would get well.
 |
| A teen with cancer is a difficult thing to understand. |
So, we didn’t talk about life and death. Not when we had to stop and let her rest a lot when playing tennis, not when she missed school, not when I drove her to chemotherapy, not when she had to have a hysterectomy.
I thought life and death were things people talked about when they got old.
Except Jan did not get old. She died.
Then, I panicked because Jan and I had not talked about life and death. As nice as she was, I didn’t know if my dear friend believed in Jesus Christ. And then, it was too late.
Sure, I had considered talking to Jan before. But, I was afraid that if I talked about such things, she would think that I assumed she was going to die. I didn’t want her to think that because I didn’t think she was going to die.
My heart grieved the loss of my friend and ached because I had failed her. The burden became too great. Before the funeral, I asked Jan’s mom. She assured me Jan was a Christian. Relief came, but not peace. I still failed my friend. I could have been more encouraging to her during her difficult journey by talking about the hope in Christ we shared. Why had I not prayed withher instead of just for her?
I was given a bittersweet gift my senior year in high school—a glimpse of how quickly things pass— opportunities, friends, life. No one is guaranteed tomorrow. No one.
 |
| Life is fleeting. |
Today is the day to talk about death and eternal life.
by Sally Matheny
 |
| Common Core |
Common Core.
Two simple words have created a divisive buzz in the educational realm. All sides agree on providing fair and excellent opportunities for students. But there’s little common ground on how those are obtained.
Beyond the educational segment, there’s also another division throughout the population. The stressed foundation of the Common Core prompted a few thoughts about a strong Cornerstone.
The United States’ “school chiefs and governors recognized the value of consistent, real-world learning goals and launched [the Common Core State Standards] to ensure all students, regardless of where they live, are graduating high school prepared for college, career, and life.”
Not everyone agrees with the implementation of the Common Core, but many have to follow it, regardless of their opinion. How many have adopted the Common Core? Forty-three states, the District of Columbia, and four territories.
There are over 7 billion people in the world. A common core exists in all of us. But unlike the state’s educational standards, each person has the freedom to accept it or not.
Amazingly, every one of those 7 billion people is unique. No two are exactly alike in mind or body. However, we all share one thing. We have the same Creator.
“Rich and poor have this in common: The LORD is the Maker of them all.” Proverbs 22:2 (NIV)
Some parents and teachers do not feel comfortable with the educational system’s new standards. They’re not sure the Core will produce the outcomes for which they had hoped.
What hope do we have in God’s teaching?
Isaiah 42:4b-7 says,
In his teaching, the islands will put their hope.
This is what God the Lord says—
the Creator of the heavens, who stretches them out,
who spreads out the earth with all that springs from it,
who gives breath to its people,
and life to those who walk on it:
“I, the Lord, have called you in righteousness;
I will take hold of your hand.
I will keep you and will make you
to be a covenant for the people
and a light for the Gentiles,
to open eyes that are blind,
to free captives from prison
and to release from the dungeon
those who sit in darkness.
Don’t we all want someone to take us by the hand and care about us? Isn’t it our desire to be a guiding light to those still blinded by the darkness of ignorance? Everyone is a student. Everyone is a teacher.
A common list of standards was the basis for the development of the states’ educational goals. Even when schools comply though, it is debatable whether all will have the ability to achieve the objectives.
However, for all the people in the world—their purpose is based on the cornerstone, which is Jesus Christ.
Obtainment of the highest goal is guaranteed for every person in the world, except for those who reject the standards of His Cornerstone. For it’s only through following His principles that we become accredited.
 |
| Jesus is the Cornerstone |
It appears the original Common Core State Standards are suffering a few stress fractures. Tweaks and changes are necessary.
However, Jesus Christ, the Cornerstone remains complete and steadfast.
When we allow God to adopt us into His plan, He provides training for the journey. And while our life experiences vary, we stand on equal ground at the foot of the cross.
Christian classmates, I’m thankful during the tests of life (and especially on the final exam) we have the Cornerstone in common.
by Sally Matheny
What area of your house do you wish was different, more functional? We have a small room at the top of the stairs. We call it the study/schoolroom. Right now, it looks like a Tasmanian Devil’s living quarters.
I could say I don’t know what happened—but I do. I could easily place the blame on others (and some of it does belong to them) but ultimately it lies heavily on me.
Standing in the middle of the room, I’m overwhelmed. Certain this is not a one-day project; I don’t even want to begin cleaning. I don’t know whereto begin. We need this room because our homeschool gears back up soon. I long for this room to be beautiful, organized, and functional. I’m overwhelmed but thankfully, I have three options.
Most of you probably have at least one area at home that needs improvement. Please say I'm not the only one! What about areas in our lives? Is there an area that frustrates you and you wish it were different? Are you overwhelmed and don’t know where to begin? Ignoring the area will lead to further chaos. Will the same three options for cleaning the room apply here as well?
Enlist good help.
Notice the word good. Friends may be helpful, but some only hinder progress. They enjoy lingering over the things we're trying to throw away. They tell us everything looks great when it is still a mess. Even those with the best of intentions, their enthusiasm wanes. Their "help" is no longer productive. Considering the problem areas in our lives, how often have we turned to friends for assistance? Some get distracted, want to wallow in the mess with us, or offer superficial advice. A few actually make the problem worse.
When enlisting help, seek out the best if you want a job well done. That may come from someone more objective and outside your circle of family and friends. Whatever issues you’re struggling with, you need to hear the Truth. Whom do you know consistently arms themselves with God’s Word and tries to follow it? They shine like stars in this dark world. Those are the kind of friends you need.
Give back.
It sounds generous, doesn’t it? Give back to your community. However, I’m thinking more along the lines of giving back to people what is rightfully theirs and holding people responsible for their actions.
My kids drag out board games from the shelves in the study. Sometimes the games make it back to the shelves but usually they are parked on the stairs, or near the doorway, or on the floor just inches away from where they belong. The fastest thing is to pick up the items myself and put them back where they belong. But if I do that, my kids will continue expecting me to pick up after them. I plan to stop the cycle and give back the responsibility to whom it belongs. Yes, it takes a bit more time to hold them accountable but eventually they’ll learn freedom comes with boundaries.
Same goes with our lives. Perhaps the thing you struggle with resulted because you did not set boundaries. What stress do you endure because you have taken on issues that belong to someone else? Initially, what appeared to be a quick solution has produced a long, torturous undercurrent of frustration. What steps do you need to take to put boundaries back in place and return responsibilities to their rightful owner?
Make a clean sweep.
Several years ago, The Learning Channel aired a show titled Clean Sweep.Participants cleared their cluttered rooms and separated stuff into three piles: trash, sell, or keep. Totally cleared out, the room was then transformed into something beautiful by designers and carpenters.
Wow. I wish they would renovate my schoolroom and it be so amazing they feature it as the viewers’ favorite episode. Alas, TLC cancelled the show and I don’t foresee a carpenter or a designer knocking at my door. However, a clean sweep is in progress and it’s the only solution to the problem.
Just as homeowners on the T.V. show had difficulty parting with their stuff; sometimes we have a hard time getting rid of sin in our lives. The good news is, no matter how limited you or your resources are you have access to the Master Carpenter and Designer. He offers his services free of charge. You don’t have to clean up before you call him. In fact, there’s no way you’d ever get it completely and satisfactorily done without his help. All you have to do is ask Him and He’ll come.
When you allow Him to make a clean sweep in your life, you can expect times of discomfort. Don’t panic or hoard things. Do what He asks of you, even when it’s difficult. Remember how you wanted a better life. Breathe deeply and trust the Master. He is the best there is and he offers an eternal guarantee. Prepare to be overwhelmed—with amazement at His handiwork!
If you are going through a tough time right now, I’d love to pray for you. Leave a comment or send me a private message and let’s approach the Master together.
by Sally Matheny  |
| Beating the Odds & Staying Married |
He was the annoying little brother of one of my high school friend. The first time I went to her house, he and his friend hid then pelted us with multi-colored marshmallows. I’ll never forget his first three words to me. Pressing his palm to his forehead, he flexed his little arm and said, “Feel that muscle!” He acted like your typical ten-year-old, except he was thirteen at the time.
That took place back in 1979. By 1989, we were vowing to love one another for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness, and in health—and only death could separate us.
Wow. That’s a heavy promise. Most can’t really imagine what the worse, poor, or sick days will be like when they’re standing there in the blissful moments of their wedding day.
Yet, the divorce statistics are staggering, even among evangelical Christians. Studies report the chances of divorce increase with every year of marriage. So, what’s the secret of those who are beating the odds and staying married? Moreover, are they happily married?
A plethora of sources offer marriage advice, but one must choose wisely. Our primary source must be of the highest standard. So, what does the Bible say about marriage? A great article in Christianity Today answers this. After the scripture is discussed, the article concludes with a quote by author of Sacred Marriage, Gary Thomas: "What if God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy?"
Hmm…there’s a thought. Quite often, we enter marriage with high expectations of what our spouse will provide towards our happiness. Sometimes our focus on God blurs. We seek fulfillment and affirmation solely from our spouse. Because we are all imperfect humans, this strategy ultimately will fall short.
How often do you hear people say they are not happy in their marriage? They don’t love one another anymore. Things aren’t working out as they had planned. One feels they’re carrying the whole load. Each blames the other. It’s too much work.
Promising to love each other through the stretches of illness, the not-so-wealthy days, and the all-inclusive “worse” days guarantees us that not every day is going to be happy.
Success for a long-lasting marriage boils down to how you define love. If you base it on the world’s standards, your marriage will most likely be an uphill battle in which everyone loses.
 |
| An example of the purest love. |
If we vow to love one another, in the presence of God, shouldn’t we strive for Hisstandard? If we want an example of the purest love, we need not look any further than that of Jesus Christ. Not one of us is perfect. But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t strive to follow Christ’s example. Daily pouring our hearts out before the Lord and asking Him to fill them back up with His power to help us love our spouses the way He does. This is not just praying for God to give you a feeling. It takes work.
Yes, work. Our sinful nature has a tendency to look towards our own selfish desires first. It takes a conscientious effort to put our spouse’s needs before our own. It’s easy to love them when they act loveable. Learning how to treat a spouse with love, despite how he/she behaves towards us—that’s not easy to do at all.
We must learn from the Master, who shows love to us when we are so unworthy. A successful marriage, one that has a continual undercurrent of joy, is based on a couple’s resolve to choose to love each other in thoughts, words, and deeds regardless of the surrounding circumstances.
My husband and I celebrated our 25th anniversary this summer. Is he still annoying like he was the day I met him? Sometimes. Have I ever treated him in the same manner? Absolutely.
The times we struggled the most in our marriage were the times we focused less on God and more on ourselves. Our marriage grew deeper (and sweeter!) once we stopped roller coasting on an emotion and began intentionally cultivating our relationship. Regular times of reading the Bible and praying together took our relationship to a much deeper level. Christ’s love is what binds us, what encourages us, and keeps us going when times get tough.
We’re beating the odds because we're not gambling with worldly "wisdom." We’ve placed our lives, and our marriage, on the winning team of Jesus Christ.
Are we happily married? Yes! Most days.
On the worsedays, we choose to dig deep, and stand on a firm foundation of true love.
by Sally Matheny  |
| In Search of the Quickest Route? |
Are you a lane-hopper—zigzagging around others in search of the quickest route to your destination? Whether it’s on the highway or in the cashier aisles at Wal-Mart, you’re the man with a plan or a woman on a mission. Punctual and focus-minded are admirable traits but don’t miss the blessings in the slow lane. As nice as it is, this is not a post about stopping and smelling the roses.
However, many of us are like the Mad-Hatter from Alice in Wonderland, scurrying about from one objective to the next. We’re either dangerously overloaded with commitments or we’re borderline OCD with our color-coded organizational charts (which, by the way, have budgeted ample time for travel into the daily schedule).
Life is merrily racing along until—BAM!
An injury, illness, job loss—whatever it is, has suddenly shoved you
all the way
 |
| Slow Lane Got You Down? |
into
the
s-l-o-w
lane.
No one likes to be sidelined. There’s too much to do and too many places to go. We aggressively seek solutions to get back on the fast track. We try to learn how to adapt and overcome. However, as life decelerates, there’s no choice but to scoot along at a reduced speed.
Prior to attending a recent writers’ conference, my concerns were not over agents and editors, but rather mobility issues. Diagnosed with Complex Regional Pain Syndrome (CRPS), I wondered if I’d be able to walk the hilly campus.
After arriving, I met many others gradually and painfully making their way to classes—people in far worse condition than me. Broken bones, rheumatoid arthritis, tumors, diseases, cancer. At last year’s conference, I remember maybe two or three people struggling physically. Why were there so many hurting people there this year?
One morning on my way to class, I did my usual side step down the stairs and made my way across campus. The fast ones already planted themselves in the best seats. Even my new, slow-moving friends weren’t on my usual path. Nonetheless, sharing the warm sunshine with the chirping birds made the stroll pleasant.
Then, I saw the roses. Beautiful reddish pink roses—the shade that looks great on toenails but not on lips kind of red. Why had I not seen them before? I had walked this path at least four times already and had not spotted them stretching over a fence. Most were in full bloom, facing the path, beckoning me to notice what they had to offer.
Bear with me, I told you this was not a “stop and smell the roses” story and it isn’t. In that moment, I realized the roses had always been there, just like the injured people I had met. They were there last year, I just didn’t notice them in my rush to get to class (you know, to learn how to become a better writer for God) or in my hurry to do good things.
My Mary-Martha moment of revelation, by the roses, didn’t bring me to a total halt. Yet, along with my calculated gait, my journey that week grew more focused. Purposeful conversations took place. Radiant beauty burst forth instantly in some and in others it gently unfolded. Promises of prayer and encouraging words were exchanged like birthday gifts. Blessings overflowed.
God is working in all the lanes of life, my friend. Occasionally, when we’re sputtering along, we find encouragement among our fellow slow lane travelers.
And, just like CRPS, not all injuries are visible. Quite likely, the one cutting in front of you, or that irritating tail-gater, is possibly the one enslaved with the most pain.
It’s not so much about stopping to smell the roses for our own benefit. But rather regarding their beautiful presence with the same attention and care as our Creator.
Whatever we think is impeding our progress, God can miraculously transform into delightful delays.
What about you? What blessings have you discovered in the slow lane?
