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Knowles, Jo. 2007. Lessons From A Dead Girl.

Are you sensing a 2007 trend or two? Yes, death and dying seems to be one of the more contagious themes this year. This one isn't quite here or there. Meaning, while the title says "dead" a good indication of the dark theme, the real theme is sexual abuse. (With a secondary theme of lies, secrets, betrayal, etc.) Laine is a young girl that was sexually abused for several years by one of her "close" friends. Leah Greene, the abuser, is a girl with a lot of issues. But Laine and Leah stay best friends for years and years. It's not until their high school years that the two begin to go their separate ways. But even once the abuse has stopped, Laine is still affected by it. Haunted by it. Ashamed of it. Burdened by it. It is her and Leah's secret. No one knows. No one suspects. In the first chapter--or maybe the second--Laine's mother shares the news that Leah is dead. The rest of the book is Laine's reaction to that news. Her relief. Her shame. Her guilt. Her confusion. Is it possible to forgive your abuser? Should you even try? What can Laine learn about Leah, learn from Leah? Can the dead really teach the living how to live?

Opening lines:

Leah Greene is dead.
Before my mother even answers the ringing telephone downstairs, I know.
"Hello?" I hear my mother say politely. "Yes? Yes, this is Laine's mother."
There is a long, quiet pause.
"Yes? A party? Drinking? Oh. . .well--"
Another pause.
"Leah Greene? What? Oh, my God! Are you sure? How?"
As I listen to her panicked voice, I feel the tiny bricks that have walled away certain memories continue to crumble. I squeeze my eyes shut and cover my ears. But the sound of my mother's cries downstairs pushes against the wall and loosens the mortar. All I see behind my eyelids is Leah. Leah with her red-glossed lips. Leah standing above me. Leah telling our secret to a crowded room of strangers and my only friends in the world. Leah walking away, leaving me in the rubble of my ruined life.
I hate you! I wish you were dead! I had screamed the words inside my head, as if I were seven and not seventeen. Somehow, I think she must have heard me. (1-2)

Other reviews: Reading Rants, Stories of A Girl, Faerie Drink Reviews, YA Authors Cafe, A Life in Books.

Related Reads: Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher, Boy Toy by Barry Lyga.

http://www.joknowles.com/

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Birdsall, Olivia. 2007. Notes on a Near-Life Experience.

I want to know how adults decide when the truth is necessary and when it isn't, and if there's some kind of an age requirement for it. Like, does getting a driver's license or the right to vote also mean it's time for you to know why your aunt Lucinda was in that hospital for two months when you were eight, or what really happened to your dog when it mysteriously vanished three weeks after its fourteenth birthday? The strange thing is that the truth has this way of seeping through, leaking out, even when you build walls and dams and work as hard as you can to contain it. It's like even when no one tells you what the truth is, somehow, eventually you just feel it. Even if you don't want to. (37)

Mia is fifteen-going-on-sixteen when her father leaves her mother, and her family begins to change practically overnight. No more bologna sandwiches for lunch. No more family time at the dinner table. No more family rounds of Jeopardy. Allen, her older brother, and Keatie, her younger sister, each react differently. Allen turns to drinking, partying, and skipping school. Keatie reacts by living in denial. Pretending that none of this is real. That this isn't her family. That this new reality is not permanent. And Mia? She responds by isolating herself. She's not in denial exactly. She knows her parents won't be getting back together--her dad's new girlfriend is proof of that--but she doesn't want this new reality to be spoken. To be shared. So she starts keeping one thing after another from her best friend, Haley. With so many things going wrong, it's good for one thing to be going right. In the midst of the fallout, it seems her brother's best friend, Julian, has finally, finally noticed that she existed as more than a pesky little sister. Could this be true? Could her life-long crush finally be hers?

Notes on a Near-Life Experience presents a family in crisis. Each have troubles of their own. Each needs a little guidance in how to communicate with the others in a healthy way. It is a funny, honest look at families.

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Mass, Wendy. 2007. Heaven Looks A Lot Like The Mall.

When sixteen-year old Tessa suffers a shocking accident in gym class, she finds herself in heaven (or what she thinks is heaven), which happens to bear a striking resemblance to her hometown mall. In the tradition of It's a Wonderful Life and A Christmas Carol, Tessa starts reliving her life up until that moment. She sees some things she'd rather forget, learns some things about herself she'd rather not know, and ultimately must find the answer to one burning question--if only she knew what the question was.

Dodgeball. It all starts with a game of dodgeball. Tessa, our narrator, finds a dodgeball heading straight for her head, and instead of ducking, she finds herself philosophizing about life in general and dodgeball in particular.

I could say, in my defense,
the dodgeball is made of rubber.
How much damage
could a rubber ball do?
I am sixteen.
My head is hard.

And who thinks aiming balls
at someone's head is a healthy pursuit
for teenagers hyped up on caffeine?
Apparently dodgeball is banned
in most schools now,
but our principal does not believe
in banning. Our school library
takes pride in its collection of books
that have been banned
elsewhere.

I'll pick up the text a few pages later...

I know the girl on the floor, the one
with her neck bent all weird,
I know the girl is me.
But I'm too busy soaring
toward Heaven to care.

And the thing that is most surprising,
the thing you might not know,
is that in the right light,
Heaven looks a lot like the mall.

Her "guide" whom she calls Nail Boy is going to show her her life through stuff...beginning with a tiny pink shoe....

A Barbie doll in a purple swimsuit
A princess costume
A white fluffy teddy bear with a red bow around the neck
A yellow plastic cup with a daisy on the side
A box of assorted crayons
A hairbrush
A plastic pencil box with Lisa Simpson on it
A small address book with a rainbow on it
A memo pad with my mom's name on it
A glass bowl
A bicycle horn
A Playboy magazine
A brown plastic barette
A sticker that says "I gave today"
A pack of Parliament Menthol Lights
An apron that says "Kiss the Cook"
A red bra
A bear slipper
A red t-shirt
A tube of cheesecake flavored lip gloss
A turquoise tank top
A pair of pink flip-flops
A roll of toilet paper
A large cookie
A bottle cap
A pair of ski goggles
A light blue prom dress

These items will be the medium through which we see Tessa as a person in her own story. What we learn, what she learns, is that she's not a good person. She repetitively has made bad decisions--decisions that subconsciously at least she's not proud of--bad mistakes. She's not nice. She's quite manipulative. The reader sees her--the good, the bad, the ugly--as she sees herself for perhaps the first time in a really long time. I think in part the reason she's reminded more of the negative choices, the negative character traits, is that those are the parts she's ashamed of deep down. (As opposed to her carefree, bubbly, happy times. And isn't it true that we as individuals dwell more on the negative than the positive??? At least when we're having a crisis of conscience???)

Her time in "heaven" may just teach her how to live the rest of her life as someone she can respect and love.

I have this to say about Heaven Looks A Lot Like The Mall. I may not "like" the narrator. I might find her a mean, manipulative person. But I cannot deny that she's human, authentic. No one is perfect. And this fictional character is quite fleshed out with strengths and weaknesses. So you've got to give credit where it's due.

I didn't love, love, love it. But I did enjoy this one. I liked it thoroughly.

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Ellis, Ann Dee. 2007. This Is What I Did.

Imagine if you had witnessed something horrific.
Imagine if it had happened to your friend.
And imagine if you hadn't done anything to help.

Logan is our young narrator. He is an outcast when our narrative opens--someone who's awkward and troubled. Troubled for two reasons--the way others treat him either through ignoring him or bullying him, and troubled by his past. One day, one night changed his life. One troubling event caused his parents to decide to move neighborhoods, change schools. This event is revealed slowly, piece by piece. Logan, our narrator, is used to lying, used to keeping secrets, used to being alone.

This is how the narrative opens:

Last eek Bruce kicked me in the balls at Scouts and all his buddies were there laughing and I started crying. I was lying there crying.

But he doesn't feel comfortable, doesn't feel right, telling his parents--his dad--about the bullying, the abuse, the taunts. Afraid and ashamed he lets everything slide.

A year ago I was fine. That's when there was nothing wrong. A year ago, in seventh grade, I was fine. We were living on Mulholland with the hills and the lake and the freeway and the Minute Man Gas Stop and my best friend, Zyler, ate Twinkies and Coke and hated girls, except one.
I couldn't eat Twinkies or Coke because of Mom, but I hated girls too, except one.
At school we weren't so cool but we weren't so not cool.
Zyler and I would sit and talk about whatever we wanted: aerodynamics, space-time continuum, Cami Wakefield, fencing, the Denver Nuggets, Lamborghinis, and soggy Tater Tots for darts in the school lunchroom.
No one cared what we said and we didn't care what anyone else said. (3)

Eighth grade isn't easy for Logan--that would be an understatement--but with the help of a quirky girl that loves palindromes and a counselor, Logan might just find a way to survive it all.

I liked this one. Logan was a great narrator. And you could really feel his pain--his angst. I disliked some of the adult characters--but then again, I think we were supposed to. I can't really get into it without spilling some of the secrets, but I liked it. I suppose it could be described as a "problem" novel since it dealt with some heavy issues, but I felt that it did so in a realistic and authentic way. It wasn't always pretty to watch the drama unfold, but ugly things happen in life.

http://www.anndeeellis.com/

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Gratz, Alan. 2007. Something Rotten: A Horatio Wilkes Mystery.

I was curious to read this modern adaption of William Shakespeare's Hamlet. I was a bit hesitant, after all, it had potential to be great fun OR truly awful. Most modern adaptations fall into one of those two camps. I was hoping for 'great fun' and indeed it fell more in line with that. I think the reason this book works is because it focuses not on Hamlet (Hamilton Prince) and his melodrama but on his friend Horatio. This is Horatio's story from beginning to end.

First line: Denmark, Tennessee, stank. Bad. Like dead fish fricasseed in sewer water.

The Prince family of Denmark, Tennessee, is rich and corrupt. Mostly. Horatio is a school friend visiting Hamilton for the summer. Their first stop? The family paper plant--Elsinore Paper Plant--the source of the stink in Denmark.

I don't know how familiar teens are with Hamlet these days. I would imagine it's still assigned reading in some places. But those who are familiar will recognize how Gratz updates the memorable ghost scene which opens the play. A videotape reveals a startling image:

The man on the screen had snow white hair and a face like a walnut. He looked like he was a hundred years old, but it was Mr. Prince, sure enough. There was a sad, hollow look in his eyes that I knew but couldn't place.

The tape goes on...

Hamilton, if the boys show you this tape, it means something bad has happened. Something very bad. It means I've been murdered. . . It was poison . . .

Hamilton immediately suspects his uncle Claude. His new step-father. Horatio isn't as quick to jump to conclusions. He treats this situation like a true mystery. He decides to observe, listen, and wait patiently for the pieces to fall into place. Hamilton? Well, Hamilton just wants to yell, mope, drink, and be a miserable drain to everyone's mood.

All the familiar characters are there. I think the more familiar you are with the play--either through reading it or seeing it--the more you can appreciate it. However, I doubt that that is essential.

There were many things I enjoyed about this one, though I didn't love, love, love it. Still, I can see myself recommending this one to others. I know a few people who love Shakespeare, and this will definitely be something I mention to them. :)

http://alangratz.com/rotten_about.htm

You can read the first chapter here.

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Crutcher, Chris. 2007. Deadline.

My plan was to focus my senior year on information I could use after graduation when I set out for Planet Earth from the Pluto that is Trout, Idaho, population 943. My SATs said I wasn't even close to brain-dead and I was set to be accepted at any college I chose, as long as I chose one that would accept me.

Thus begins Deadline. Our narrator is Ben Wolf. From the very beginning--page 2 to be exact--we know that Ben is dying presumably of cancer. "Doc Wagner left a phone message a few days after my routine cross-country physical . . .there was gravity in his voice, so I decided I'd better scout ahead to see if his message was PG-13 and suited for all, or R-rated and just for me. Turned out to be X." He opts out of seeking treatment and decides to live life with all the zest and zeal he can muster. He also decides NOT to tell his parents, his brother, his coaches, his friends, his teachers. He'll carry the burden of his impending departure all on his own.

One of the first things he decides is to go out in style. If he is going to die young, he might as well be brave and try out for football. He's a short guy. A small guy. But he's always envied his younger brother's skills on the football field. Now is his last chance to go for it all--both on and off the field. Football. He also has his eyes on one other thing--his dream girl, Dallas Suzuki.

School. Football. Dating. His dysfunctional family. He starts out thinking that he is going to protect his friends, his family, his loved ones by keeping this big secret. That they're too fragile to handle the truth. That it would ruin their lives to have to watch him die and know what's coming. And as a reader, you can see there are reasons why he would think that. His mother is a basket case. She has tons of issues all her own. And she's barely holding onto her sanity most of the time--not all the time though. And his father is so concerned with taking care of his wife that things do get a bit neglected at times.

If there is a theme in Deadline it would be that everything is complicated. Life is complicated. People are complicated. Relationships with friends, families, lovers, etc. are complicated. Nothing is as simple as it appears. Lies. Secrets. Regrets. Everyone has them. Everyone is carrying a burden--be it of shame, guilt, anger, or confusion. Ben isn't the only one keeping secrets. And it is through his relationships--his conversations--that he learns some of life's greatest lessons.

Two relationships stand out. One is with an older man, the town drunk. Ben gets the notion he needs to "save" this man from himself and stop him from self-destructing. The problem is that some burdens can't be eased--not in this lifetime--not without divine intervention. The other relationship is with Dallas. Dallas has a few secrets of her own--about her family, about her past--she comes clean with Ben. But Ben has trouble being honest with her. Will she--can she--forgive him for lying by omission?

I didn't love everything about this book. I'll admit to some personal biases. The conversations he has with Hey-Soos or Jesus, his 'imaginary' guide were troublesome for me. Not everyone will find the messages and 'truths' to be troublesome, however, and there are many many views of spirituality and the afterlife. Just because I didn't click with this particular aspect doesn't mean I disliked the novel. And it won't stop me from recommending it to people.

Deadline is similar to Before I Die. Both have teen narrators that are facing death. Both decide to live life to the fullest why they can. Their philosophies are different. Very, very different. But both are independent and strong-willed. Both have complicated families--dysfunctional families--they're leaving behind. Both want to find love and romance before they die. One is on the surface more honest and forthcoming and the other. I can see strengths and weaknesses in both. Before I Die made me cry at the end, I didn't have that response with Deadline. What was missing for me in both books--and this is a personal thing I would imagine--is that I had a hard time liking--really liking--the characters. I thought Crutcher's were better developed. I thought there was more depth, more development. I think Ben was a bit more self-aware and definitely less self-destructive than Tessa. I think he did better at dealing with what life had thrown him. But that's not to say that Before I Die doesn't have strengths of its own. I can see why they are both powerful depictions.

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Downham, Jenny. 2007. Before I Die.

There are no surprises in Before I Die. What do I mean? Well, if you're expecting a happy ending with a miracle cure, you'll be disappointed. Our heroine, our narrator, is dying throughout the book, and does in fact die. Some people are drawn to these types of sad, tragic, heart-breaking dramas. Some authors are known for it, specialize in weepy women as their main audience. While Before I Die is sad, it is so much more than just another sad book. Our narrator, Tessa, is sixteen and dying. That is sad in and of itself. But Tessa's problem is that she doesn't want to die before she has a chance to live. If she's going to die, she's going to make the most of every single moment. She doesn't want to waste her time with trivialities. No school for her. No obeying her parents' rules. No obeying anybody's rules. She wants to experience it all--sex, drugs, alcohol, shoplifting, love, happiness. She wants to feel it all, live it all. She wants to pack a whole lifetime of experience into the few months she has left.

This is a drama or melodrama about life, family, friends, and love. Her relationships aren't easy. Dying isn't a piece of cake. It's hard for her to get along with her mother, her father, her brother, her best friend, her boyfriend. Life is full of ups and downs that goes for everyone--Tessa's dramas are magnified even more by the fact that her time is limited. So normal teen angst can be a bit more angsty and intense.

The writing is good. While this book may or may not be your kind of book--it might be an acquired taste to dwell on death and dying and leaving everyone you love behind--I want you to be aware of it at least. To know that there is a book out there that while emotionally manipulative--it has to be--is quite good. There was a time that I could almost weep on command at any sad story, any sad movie, any sad song. And while that still happens sometimes--I won't lie--I like to think that I've matured some. I was doing so well with this one, but even my heart wasn't made of stone at the very end.

S
P
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I
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As a teen, my experiences with death (with losing a loved one) were practically nonexistent. However, as an adult, I've lost a grandmother to congestive heart failure and diabetes, and a grandfather to cancer. (My other grandfather died of cancer a year before I was born.) And I've lost another person whom I was extremely close to to cancer. (Imagine getting the diagnosis the week or so before Thanksgiving, and then dying the first week of December.) The past six or seven years have been rough for me. Cancer is a scary word. A life-changing word. One that strikes fear in me. I've seen it up, close, and personal. It is ugly. It is scarring. It is terrifying. So reading about a girl with cancer, watching her die, even though the circumstances are so far removed from watching a grandparent die...some truths are universal no matter the age. So when it came time for Tessa's death scene, her surrounded by family, it was all too real for me. The sights. The sounds. Everything. Because I have lived the death bed scene--with my grandmother--this one was frighteningly real. I don't know if there are enough words to describe what it is like to watch someone you love die. The pain, the shock, everything. It's just too much too soon. You don't want them to suffer. You know it's coming. But to watch them gasp for breath, to hear the gasps for breath, to hear the gurgling noises, well, this scene got to me. The death bed scene was hard to read because it was so authentic. I don't know if all readers will pick up on just how authentic it is. To sit there and watch someone you love die. To see someone you love unconscious, and not really knowing if they can hear you, if they can feel you loving them, supporting them, letting them go. Of not knowing how to say goodbye but knowing that this is your only chance.

I didn't love every minute of this one. I couldn't. Tessa wasn't always likable. She wasn't always pleasant to be around. Tessa's vision of how to spend her last months and weeks wouldn't mesh with my vision of how I'd spend my last days. Her priorities aren't mine. Her choices, her views are far removed from mine. But Tessa's story is moving just the same.

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Jones, Carrie. 2007. Tips on Having A Gay (EX) Boyfriend.

Tips On Having A Gay (Ex) Boyfriend covers one week in the life of high school senior, Belle Philbrick. The book opens on Saturday, the day that her boyfriend tells her a startling truth: I won't ever love another woman because I'm gay. Belle's reaction is one of shock obviously: It isn't every day that my high school boyfriend, Eastbrook High School's Harvest King, for God's sakes, tells me he's gay. It's not every day that the Harvest Queen is dumped in the middle of a road in my mother's silly subdivision with the stars watching the humiliation and the dogs barking because they want to come help tear my heart out and leave it on the cold, gray ground. It isn't every day that my entire world falls apart. Not wanting to become one of those whiny girls that complains all the time about their exes, Belle promises to give herself one week where she's allowed to be miserable, to whine, to complain. One week to get over Dylan, the boy now in love with Bob. (Bob. Dylan. The new couple on campus.) What's worse for Belle than knowing that he's already found someone new? How about hearing that Bob and Dylan were seen making out together in some parking lot? How about having to be near Bob in German class all week? How about catching Bob and Dylan buying condoms at the drug store? Take your pick. Belle's not having an easy time tolerating her ex's new squeeze.

During the course of this week, she relies on her best friend, Emily, and on someone she never expected to confide in, Tom, a boy she's known for ages. A boy that's always teased her. Belle's week has ups and downs. It has its moments of humor, and its moments of heartache. Plenty of confusion to go around. Some anger as well.

Top Ten Reasons Why I Can't Believe I've Been Dumped For Bob

1. He hums during German class.
2. His glasses are thicker than the soles on L.L. Bean hiking boots.
3. He smells funny, like mothballs or something, mixed with metal.
4. He hums Beatles songs in German class.
5. He's in band.
6. He scratches his head too much.
7. He hums Beatles songs in German class OFF-KEY.
8. He wears tighty white underwear that show his butt because his pants are always doing that working man's smile thing on him.
9. He hums Beatles songs in German class OFF-KEY and taps his FEET in time.
10. He's a boy.

Belle's voice is honest and funny. And Tips On Having A Gay (Ex) Boyfriend is an enjoyable read. I can't say too much more without revealing any spoilers...but I really enjoyed this one.

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Garsee, Jeannine. 2007. Before, After, and Somebody In Between.

This book is a good book. But it is essentially the story about a young teen girl with an identity crisis. Her name is Martha. Martha Kowalski. Never has a teen girl hated her life more. Her drunk and neglectful mother. Her mother's abusive mother. Her equally impoverished neighbors living in the tenements. Her school. Her classmates. Nothing at all is going right in her life. She has one or two friends. But their lives are equally messed up. One has a mother dying of AIDS, one has been abandoned my a mother addicted to drugs. The last one also lives in an abusive environment where they beat a toddler. So who would want to be that girl if given another option. Certainly not Martha. When Martha is given--through dire circumstances--the opportunity to transform into Gina Brinkman, she jumps at the chance. Gina lives in a nice neighborhood. A rich neighborhood. Gina goes to an elite school. Gina has nice clothes and a bathroom all her own. (If I recall correctly.) Gina is a material girl. She can have a thousand luxuries that are new to her. And most of all, she feels like she's escaped the harsh realities of her life. But life is never that easy. Never that black and white. Never that clear cut. Who is she really deep down inside? What kind of girl is she?

This book has many ugly sides to it--the alcohol, the drugs, the physical and verbal abuse, sex, violence, etc. Martha is a character that doesn't really embrace the truth if she can get away with a lie. She lies. She lies a lot. Sometimes to other people. Sometimes only to herself. This is another book that shows that actions have consequences. Big consequences. And that life is full of hard choices. Choices you'll have to live with the rest of your life.

Overall, I liked it. It was well-written. This is a very human, very frail, sometimes cruel, sometimes naive narrator.

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Mackall, Dandi Daley. 2007. Crazy in Love.


"Okay, so I do hear voices in my head, but they're all mine. And before you go dialing Psychiatrists-R-Us, consider the fact that I'm going to need all the help I can get just to have a fingers-crossed, fighting chance of getting through today" (1).

Mary Jane is a girl with problems. Not life-threatening problems, but problems nonetheless. These problems concern her reputation. You see, at a class get-together—a Julius Caesar film-watching get-together—Mary Jane was seen chatting with Jackson House. No big deal, right? Wrong. Jackson House is the boyfriend of one snooty Miss Popularity, Star Simon. When Mary Jane and Jackson leave the party to go pick up a case of diet coke, the rumors start flying. Though they were only gone for four minutes and did in fact return with the aforementioned diet coke, the rumor going round is that Mary Jane knows how to have a good time.

Is Mary Jane smart enough to deal with Star, Jackson, and what's left of her reputation?

Read the rest of my review in The Edge of the Forest. If a new edition has been posted already, check the archives.

http://www.dandibooks.com/

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Chappell, Crissa-Jean. 2007. Total Constant Order.

Frances Isabelle Nash (Fin) is a teen under pressure. Within the past year, she's moved from Vermont to Florida, her parents have divorced, and she's feeling overwhelmed with urges to count and draw. These 'strange' compulsions to flick light switches, to draw objects with a certain number of points, or draw things a certain number of times, have been increasing over the past few months. Fin is also finding it more and more difficult to sleep.

Under much duress, Fin starts seeing a therapist who prescribes Paxil. But Fin discovers that prescription medications can sometimes have side effects that just aren't worth it. Around the time that she's trying to come to terms with having obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), she meets a boy who changes how she views everything: Thayer.

To read the rest of the review where I discuss how much Thayer impacts her life....visit The Edge of the Forest October/November edition. If you're reading this posting later...after the fact...then look for it in the Edge of the Forest archives.

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Lyga, Barry. 2007. Boy Toy.

I think one of the strong trends of 2007 is "difficult" books where the author is taking you on a journey to some ugly, scary, all too realistic places. Child abuse. Sexual abuse. Racism. Bullies. Hate crimes. Alcoholism. Drug abuse. Rape. Suicide. Insanity. Often times these books are well written, achingly or hauntingly beautiful. But they are tragic. More often than not they're depressing. (Or at the very least have depressing elements for some part of the story, beginning, middle, or end.) And they all have one thing in common: they are infuriating. You read the book and want to throw it across the room. Why? Because you hate a character or two. Maybe it's the alcoholic mother who abandons her child for days or weeks on end. Maybe it's the stepfather who is physically abusive. Maybe it's the policeman or social worker who turns a blind eye to a child in need. As a reviewer, it is sometimes hard for me to capture how good yet how painful these are to read. The writing can range from excellent to good, but none of the books can be said to be "enjoyable" because the story is so sorrowful, so tragic, so melodramatically melancholy. How can I "enjoy" being a witness to a crime? I can't. I am not one to take pleasure in even a fictional character being raped or abused whether the abuse is physical, sexual, or verbal. Yet the writing can be so good that you can't put it down. Or in some cases, the story is too difficult to take in one sitting, yet you feel compelled to finish it. To know what happens next. No matter if it ends well or tragically. You've just got to know.

Because these books are "difficult" to read, they're often labeled as powerful and brilliant. And most of the time, they are. (It would be a book by book thing for me. I can't make a blanket statement about this sort of thing.) They're often the choice when it comes to choosing awards and making 'best of' lists. It would be interesting to see if this translates into popularity. If given the option does an individual seek out something light, something funny, something enjoyable, something that feels good, something that satisfies without challenging...or do they seek out something more, something to make them think, question, challenge, reevaluate. And is one choice really "better" than the other? The book Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson is a good example of a book that is both serious and relevant. It has very heavy overtones in it--a young girl silenced by rape, a girl misunderstood by her peers and teachers, a girl labeled by those around her, a girl in need of help. Yet the book is readable, it has its funny moments. It's a book that makes you think, but it's a popular book as well.

Boy Toy fits into this category of being difficult. Only time will tell if it's a popular choice. It is the story of how sexual abuse affected a twelve year old boy.

Ten Things I Learned At the Age of Twelve

1. The Black Plague was transmitted by fleas that were carried throughout Europe by rats.
2. If you first paralyze it, you can cut open a frog and watch its lungs continue to inflate and deflate.
3. There are seven forms of the verb to be: am, being, been, is, was, were, and are.
4. In order to divide fractions, you invert the divisor to arrive at the reciprocal, which is then multiplied by the dividend. (Mixed fractions must first be converted to improper fractions.)
5. In Salem, the witches weren't burned at the stake--they were pressed to death under big rocks...or hanged.
6. Islam was founded in the year 610. It is the third of three world religions worshiping the same God.
7. Each point on a "coordinate plane" (created by the joining of an x-axis and a y-axis) can be described by an ordered pair of numbers.
8. Monotheism is a belief system centered on a single deity, while polytheism subscribes to belief in multiple deities.
9. The area of a circle can be determined by using the formula r ².
10. How to please a woman.

The book is segmented. The narrative is not chronological. It opens with a brief chapter where his abuse is 'discovered' by adults. It then jumps ahead to his senior year in high school. It later flashes back to the abusive time in his life. So it goes backwards and forwards, and so on. The narrative is easy to follow. It isn't confusing, but it is difficult in the sense that reading about sexual abuse is difficult. Our narrator is Josh Mendel. When he was twelve, his history teacher, first name Eve, seduced him over a period of weeks and months. Their relationship continued until Josh 'inadvertently' gets found out at a birthday party of a friend. At the same time as his abuse is occurring, his parents have been having marital problems as well. They fight ALL the time. And they rarely notice him at all. His life did change as a result of the abuse, and as a result of the trial that followed. Even though his name was supposed to be anonymous, he feels "exposed" to his classmates at school. The administration. The teachers. The students. Everyone "knows" his secrets. So he's carrying a very heavy burden. The book is a look at his life five years later. The truth is that he still feels guilty and ashamed and alone. He doesn't want to talk about his feelings, his emotions. He doesn't want to be reminded of his past, yet he can't escape it. He doesn't want to face it. But it's not going away. It is with him always.

The book is good. Good in the sense that the characters are well developed. That the writing is intense but good. Powerful yet not overwhelming. And the book isn't just about abuse. It's about growing up, finding the courage to fall in love, and playing baseball. It isn't all dark. There's enough light to give it contrast.

So I would recommend it. But it's not for everyone.

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Choldenko, Gennifer. 2007. If A Tree Falls at Lunch Period.

Opening line: This is lame but I'm actually looking forward to school this year, because every day this summer was like crap: dog crap, cat crap--I even had a few elephant crap days. Trust me, it was bad.

If A Tree Falls At Lunch Period has two narrators: a young girl, Kirsten McKenna, and a young boy, Walker Jones. One white, one black. Kirsten is going through some personal drama. Whether she's just a bit pudgy or actually bordering on overweight, her mother is on her case day and night 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. (Who wouldn't want to self-comfort with food after listening to her mother nag and nag and nag and nag and nag?) In addition to Kirsten's weight issues, Kirsten's parents seem to be having troubles of their own. They argue nonstop. It seems Kirsten's mom is bent on making sure no one in the house has any peace or self-esteem. No wonder Kirsten and her sister, Kippy, like to take refuge in the basement and watch tv and play with their pet rabbit. "They stopped seeing my little sister, Kippy, and me, and they definitely stopped hearing what we said. . . . It was funny for a while. Then it wasn't" (1).

Walker's troubles seem to be with finding his place in a new school. If memory serves me, he's new to the community, new to the school. And he's trying to balance his old life, his old friends, his old neighborhood, with the new. He's at a private school for one thing. And all the kids are from a different class, most are white.

These two become unlikely friends for a while. Then....well...that's a surprise.

Most of what I have to say about If A Tree Falls At Lunch Period comes from anger. Not anger or disappointment or frustration with Gennifer Choldenko. If anything, it speaks to her skill that her characters are so well-developed, so authentic, that they were able to rub me the wrong way. Who am I angry at? I hate--hate with a passion--Kirsten's mom. She is so condescending, so infuriating. She actually sides with the popular kids and the popular kids' moms against her own daughter. She essentially tells her daughter that all her problems are her own fault. That the popular kids who are so mean to her, so cruel to her aren't really mean; they aren't bullies. No, this mother has the gall to say that those kids are nice and wonderful and friendly. And that it is her daughter's fault that no one likes her. And the way she nags her about her weight, the way she NEVER listens to anything her daughter has to say, it made me want to smack her. The other people that irritated me are the popular kids, particularly a brat named Brianna. She's mean, she's cruel, she's racist, she's a snob. If there was any justice in the world, she'd be struck with lightning.

Anyway, the book is well written. And it's a fast, enjoyable read. While not all the characters are likable, all are well-developed.

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Watson, C.G. 2007. Quad.

Quad has multiple narrators and a non-chronological framework. You might think that would make it harder to read--to grasp. After all, for the first twenty or thirty pages you're not quite sure what's going on. There is a new narrator for each chapter, all these new characters--these new names--are being tossed about. And the 'action' is unfolding on at least two different days. But once the reader is patient enough and every narrator has had a turn, then things begin to come together, to make sense. The premise is simple: one of these students, one of the narrators' classmates, has decided to take revenge on their classmates. Someone is out for vengeance and they've brought a gun. How this becomes complex? Well, each narrator, each circle of friends, has motive to seek crazy revenge. All of them are angry, most are bitter. All see high school labels and social hierarchy's as evil for the most part. The "bad guys" the popular kids come across as true villains. With their cruel jokes and laughter, their mean pranks, I dare the reader to have sympathy for these bad guys. While not all narrators are equally likable, most are portrayed as human--fallible but likable just the same. The suspense of who lives, who dies, and the unveiling of the identity of the shooter and victim(s)...will keep you reading.

This is an emotional book. There are so many different levels of frustration, anger, hatred, disappointment, bitterness, etc presented. But the reason I enjoyed this one so much was that it dissected the minute details of high school society. It examined cause and effect. It showed how daily interactions can be perceived, received, both negatively and positively. On the one hand, a kind word, a smile, a compliment, could make the world of difference to someone. On the other hand, it shows that a mean glare, a laugh, a snicker, a whispered insult, a cruel note, a simple prank could break someone apart. Actions have consequences as this book shows. It also shows how thin a line there is between sanity and insanity...keeping it together versus having an emotional breakdown. And of course, it shows that being a teenager is a volatile experience emotionally. One day alone can be full of emotional ups and downs and you can be all over the place in no time.

http://www.cgwatson.com/index.html

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Shanahan, Lisa. 2007. The Sweet, terrible, glorious, year I truly completely lost it.

Originally published in Australia, The Sweet, Terrible, Glorious Year I Truly Completely Lost It is a fun YA romance that many girls--from preteen to adult--will enjoy. (Okay, maybe not every adult will enjoy this one, but those young at heart just might!) Meet Gemma Stone. She's feeling a bit out of sorts since her sister announced her engagement. Her sister, Debbie, is marrying a boy she's only been dating for one month. Now, Gemma is being dragged to bridal fairs and made to try on ugly dresses--though I bet no one can guess what she ends up wearing!--and spending lots of time with her sister's future in-laws and her sister's three best friends/bridesmaids. To say she is wishing herself far far away is an understatement. Everything is "Debbie, Debbie, Debbie." And she is expected to drop everything so she can do all these 'favors' and 'errands' and what not for her sister. But in the midst of all the family drama, Gemma is making time for herself. She's got a crush on a guy named Nick. A guy who only acknowledges her existence when it's convenient for him. (Most often when he's trying to get a petition signed). Nick casually mentions to her that she should try out for the school play. The drama department is doing The Tempest by William Shakespeare. She gathers up her courage, and decides to be brave for once in her life and goes after what she wants. What does she want? Nick's attention and approval. What she gets? The attention of the school weirdo, Raven, a 'deliquent' sort who comes from a long line of troubled brothers all named after birds--Crow, Magpie, Raven, Sparrow, etc. But Gemma is about to learn that love is full of surprises and that first impressions can be way off the mark. Raven or Nick? Which one is worthy of her time and devotion?

This book is a super-fun romance novel that I couldn't help loving. From her family dramas to her boy troubles, Gemma is a narrator I enjoyed spending time with.

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Alexie, Sherman. 2007. The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian.

This book is nominated for the Cybils in the YA category. It is also a finalist in the National Book Awards. And there is some talk of including it in Librarians' Choices 2007. My thoughts? Well, it was good. There were parts I really enjoyed, and some that were just okay for me. It is the story of a young boy, a young man actually, a freshman in high school that is trying to find his identity. He's Indian. (American Indian as in Native American). He lives on a reservation. Our narrator, Junior, is an awkward, geeky, "weird" teen who is an outsider almost everywhere he goes. He only has one friend on the reservation, Rowdy, and at his new school, he spends most of his time alone...on the fringe of the geeks and nerds. The book has many humorous moments, and quite a few serious moments as well. His life is full of family problems and social turmoil. On one hand, it's the story of a family, a community in crisis, you see first hand on alcohol affects family life. Also playing a role is poverty and deferred dreams. He lives in a community devoid of hopes and dreams. No one tries anymore. No one wants to make a better life for themselves. Junior wants more. He needs more. He knows that if he accepts life "as it is" or "how it's always been" then it will kill him. Why be content to live in poverty. To not get an education. To just drink your days and nights away. To gamble away the money when you happen to have a few bucks on hand. He sees this lifestyle in his own family, and in his community at large. He sees the traps. He wants to escape that. His sister also wants to escape. Each have different ways of escaping. One is ultimately more successful than the other. The novel isn't pretty. There are some harsh details of life--his father being a drunk, his mother a recovering alchoholic, the murder of one his father's friends, the death of his grandmother due to a drunk driver, and even more losses as the book goes on. But if you stick with it, there remains a small grain of hope. The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian isn't for everyone. It's definitely, in my opinion, for older teens. Or for mature teens whose exposure to alcohol and strong language and some sexual references won't be a big deal. I know this is a family by family decision. What is 'fine' for one family isn't for another. It's not for an outsider to determine what is and isn't appropriate. But the writing is good. I don't want to frighten anyone away, it's just not a "clean" read.

I'm planning on writing an overview of all the finalists in the National Book Awards. So I'll say more there.

Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian

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Wahl, Mats. 2007. The Invisible.

This is an international book only recently translated into English and published in the United States. It has also apparently been made into a movie. Since I don't keep up with these things, I depend on statements such as "now a major motion picture from the producers of The Sixth Sense" to stay informed. I also happened to notice that the movie is being released on dvd soon--very soon. Did I love this one? No. But it was a good book. It is your somewhat typical ghost-narrator story where the ghost has not "passed" or "moved" on and he's still haunting this world...viewing his friends, his family, and in this case following the police detective on the case of this "missing boy." Hilmer Eriksson was a somewhat normal kid--a teen--who went for a simple errand on his bike and never came home. Now it is up to Detective Fors to investigate and discover the grim truth about what really happened that Saturday. What makes this book good is the writing. While I don't really go for ghosts as narrators, this one is an exception for me because the style is so good. I wouldn't say I loved it, but I enjoyed it far more than I expected. (Though I know I'm in the minority, I don't really get the whole ghost-narrator thing as done in Lovely Bones.)

It was on one of the first days in May that Hilmer Eriksson discovered he had become invisible. (1)

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Clinton, Cathryn. 2007. The Eyes of Van Gogh.

I hate the first day of school. I always have, but then nine new schools in thirteen years can do that to you. By second grade I was in my third new school, and that doesn’t include the day cares. I read somewhere that the average American family moves every three years. That makes me above average, but somehow it doesn’t make me feel superior at all. (1)

Pain and sadness are homeless beggars in my life, displaced feelings that come and go, plopping down for their own reasons, sleeping in any corner of my brain. They wear at me with a constant tiredness that I have to chase out. (2)

I live in the pencil, the paper, the object that I see gliding from my mind to my hands. It’s a way of seeing that’s mine, my way of defining a world. It’s also a place to live when things are too dismal, too inferior, too tiring--or even too shining, too good. (4)

Jude is our narrator. She is a senior in high school. She is depressed, at times suicidal. She is a moody, sullen artist. She is trying to escape from the harsh realities of her life--her mother’s alcoholic and reckless behavior when it comes to bringing men into their lives. The two--mother and daughter--moved to town when Jude’s grandmother suffered a stroke. The grandmother is now in a nursing home. Jude visits her most days of the week. Even though she can’t speak and makes no indication that she hears or sees her visitor, Jude takes comfort in this relationship. She shapes it to fit her need for stability and love. And really, who can blame her? We all need love; we all need a safe place to go. We all need someone to listen to us. But Jude has other relationships--two friendships and a boyfriend. Jazz (Jasmine) and John Mark are fellow loners, outsiders. Together they have fun, they have laughs. They share their thoughts, their dreams, their hopes. They can be “real” with one another most of the time. The other person in her life is Todd. Todd is a football player. A football player who is also a farmer-in-training. He has spent his whole life on the family farm, and “agriculture” is something that his ‘career’ will involve in one way or another. Jude is hoping and pryaing that Todd is the perfect, ideal boyfriend. That he is there to save her. That he is her Prince Charming. That he can love her and accept her just as she is. That they will spend their whole lives together. That they will grow old and gray together. She is seeing this future together as rock solid as can be. The problem? The Todd of her dreams is not the Todd of reality. I still think it’s not Todd’s fault that she is so disappointed. She has a lot of expectations, a lot of dreams, that aren’t really based on anything he has said and done. Yes, he’s asked her to go bowling. But he’s not asking her to get married. He’s not promising a future. He’s not even saying those three little words--I love you.

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What makes Jude a weak narrator--although perhaps a realistic one--is that she completely falls apart when her relationship with Todd disintegrates. I tend to dislike books where girls/teens lose all their “reasons” for living based on a breakup. I suppose it’s natural and realistic for a bit, but when the narrator actually carries out a suicide attempt.....well, it’s a bit disappointing.

Suicide is a theme in the novel. Anytime the narrator has a fixation on playing on the railroad tracks, is a big big indicator that a suicide attempt is upcoming. She is drawn to the train tracks, and she often pictures--imagines--what it would be like to end it all right there on the tracks. She romanticizes suicide. Makes it sound so brave, so noble. She’s also fixated on Vincent Van Gogh. She imagines that they are kindred spirits, tortured souls in need of release. She embraces this depression, this tortured-soul role; She enjoys being miserable. She seeks out the dark side almost. She defines herself in that way. She isn’t reallly trying to cope with reality, trying to get hope. She is enjoying her pain and misery because she thinks it makes her a true artist, a real creative genius.

Depression is common. It is serious. But it is not something that is dealt with effectively here. Jude doesn’t seek help, doesn’t seek treatment, doesn’t let anyone in on the fact that she’s so tortured, so dismally down. And I know that suicidal thoughts and suicide attempts are common as well. This novel is realistic. But it isn’t always an enjoyable journey--realistic as it may be.

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Felin, M. Sindy. 2007. Touching Snow.

The best way to avoid being picked on by high school bullies is to kill someone. Anyone will do. Accidental killings have the same effect as on-purposed murder. Of course, this is just my own theory. My sister Delta would say that my sample size isn't big enough to draw such a conclusion. But I bet I'm right.

Thus begins Touching Snow, a dark portrait of a Haitian immigrant family lost in the depths of physical and emotional abuse. Our story begins on the last day of Karina's seventh grade year. The book covers mainly that summer between her seventh and eighth grade years. The family has many issues--too many kids in too little a space, bad parenting philosophies, and past legacies that can't be escaped. The oldest girls have never known their real father--or should I say fathers--but they've been raised by their stepfather--Gaston--a person Karina refers to as 'the daddy.' The family is large--full of children both girls and boys--and the situation is dire. They're poor and dependent on the a man "black as dirt." That is their mother's phrase for describing anyone whose actions she doesn't like--no matter their skin color--I would think the phrase "devil himself" would work better in this context. Within the first few chapters alone, the reader witnesses an exceedingly brutal beat-up of the oldest girl, Enid. She's not just badly beaten, she's badly beaten and burned and left for dead. She's struck unconscious. There are burns all over her back--her back literally covered in pockets of pus. Her bottom and legs so beaten, so raw that she is unable to sit or lie down. And her crime? Trying to hide the leftovers from her stepfather. The family is strange. The mother seems upset by her husband's actions, yet she is an enabler at heart. In her heart of hearts she feels her daughter--her children--and probably even herself--deserve to be treated like this. She herself beats her children, tortures them. She is an abuser herself who is powerless to stop her husband from doing the same whenever he likes. And the girls' relatives? From their aunts to uncles to good old Gram, there seems to be an undercurrent of acceptance...that this abuse is their fault. That they are getting exactly what they deserve. That they even approve of this level of discipline. The narrator, Karina, lets you know early on that someone--presumably herself--kills 'the daddy' and finally gets revenge on him for his treatment. The book was an infuriating read. The police, the social workers, the leaders at the community center, the priests, every adult with an obligation to serve and "do the right thing" turn a blind eye to this situation. They swallow each and every lie that comes out of the mothers--the wife's mouth. One of the girls points out that it doesn't matter what they say, how unbelievable their lies are--they'll believe them because they don't want to do anything about it anyway. The lies are obvious, the adults are irresponsible or naive depending on your generosity. With the violent abuse, the disparaging remarks about religion, and the extremely strong language, those looking for a clean read should look elsewhere. But those looking for a darker, realistic portrait of the effects (long and short term) of abuse, then this may be the book for you. The only ray of light in this book is the growing relationship between Karina and her friend Rachael as they begin to explore their sexual feelings.

Personally, I didn't enjoy this one. While I'm sure many people will appreciate this journey to the dark and depressing side of life--because these kinds of things do happen in the world--it took me places I didn't want to go.

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Hobbs, Valerie. 2007. Anything But Ordinary.

When he was fourteen, Bernie Federman fell in love. And he never fell out. Except once, almost. But that was four years and a lifetime later. By that time Winifred (she was calling herself Wini) had become somebody he hardly knew anymore. An ordinary girl. (3)

When he was thirteen, Bernie Federman had no idea who he was. Was he the clone of Magnus Morris, his maternal great-great-grandfather, the famous inventor (a brain) who made and lost a million dollars before the age of twenty-three? His mother said he was. Or was he simply the son of a man who worked in a tire shop from six a.m. until six p.m., and was snoring in his La-Z-Boy halfway through Wheel of Fortune? (4)

So the long and short of it was this:
When Bernie Federman was fourteen, he fell in love.
When he was fifteen, he saw his first naked girl.
When he was sixteen, he began to think that someday he might just write a novel.
When he was seventeen, his mother died. Bernie fell from number two in his graduating class to number forty-three, and by graduation had slipped to the muddy bottom. Winifred, of course, was number one. (18)

With a title like “Anything But Ordinary” you expect something un-ordinary or extraordinary. But that’s not what you get. While there were certain phrases that stuck-out in Anything But Ordinary which made me feel Hobbs was a talented writer, overall, I thought the plot was very typical, very standard, very ordinary, very average. Perhaps I can best illustrate what I’m talking about. Sometimes movie trailers have all the good bits of the movie. You see thirty seconds or a minute of what the movie holds. If the movie doesn’t offer anything more than that--if everything else is just okay--then you feel slightly disappointed. You almost wished that the trailer had been the movie you saw. I can pick probably six or seven quotes that I enjoyed, really enjoyed, from the text. But as far as the rest of the text, the plot, the characters, the pacing....everything was just ordinary. It has all been done before. This is All by Aidan Chambers. Megan McCafferty’s Second Helpings and Charmed Thirds. Anatomy of a Boyfriend by Daria Snadowsky. When you use the formulaic plot of highschool sweethearts who face troubles, temptations, and obstacles with their first year of college--particularly relationship problems because of distance or “changing” personalities, then you need a little something extra to make it worth the reader’s time. What is different about this couple? This narrator? This story? What hasn’t been said and done before? In this case, it was very little. Bernie is the boyfriend. He’s a good guy, essentially, but he’s a little lost at the beginning of the story. Wini or Winifred is the girlfriend. She’s a good girl, essentially, but she’s a little lost at the end of the story. The two had always planned to go to college together, but after the death of his mother, Bernie loses focus in his schoolwork. He becomes depressed and worried about his alcoholic father. He feels that his life really is fated to be one of working in a tire shop or as a mechanic. Something “hands-on” whether than intellectually stimulating. Gone are his dreams of becoming a writer, of changing the world with his words. Winifred cannot, will not except Bernie as he now is. She wants the Bernie-that-used-to-be. She gets accepted into a college in California--as far away from New Jersey as a girl can get. Bernie is upset, crushed, disappointed, frustrated that his girl wants to put that much distance between them. So as the semester goes on, he makes plans to drive to visit her in college. Winifred is changing. And not for the better. In high school, she’d never been one to follow the crowd. Never been one to care about popularity. Never been one to party. Never been one to act wild and crazy. But things are different now. She wants to be just like her roommates, wants to fit in, wants to be part of the popular bunch. Gone are her worries about school, studying, and tests. She changes to an easier major gives up on her dreams, and decides to live it up. Living it up includes getting a brand new look and a brand new wardrobe. When Bernie and Wini meet, they’re two different people. Gone is the girlfriend he loved, instead he has a copycat of a flirt on his hands. Not that she’s flirting with him. She thinks he’s the scum of the earth. Not good enough for the new her. But while Wini’s life is spiraling downwards, Bernie begins attending classes. He finds he likes college. He finds he likes English classes especially. And the teacher, the TA, takes a liking to him as well. He is intelligent. He’s witty. He’s determined. Now it’s Wini who’s the loser, while he is getting noticed as the “smart” one. This role reversal doesn’t sit well with her. Can the two ever come together as equals now that so much has happened? Can Wini ever find herself? Will the two ever get past this awkwardness that exists between them? The book closes open-endedly. Optimists can see that the two will find their way back to each other. Realists can see that there are many many different ways the story could end.

One of the reasons I think I disliked Anything But Ordinary was the fact that it was told in third person. I like first person narratives. They feel “real.” They feel “genuine.” The connection between narrator and reader feels more solid. It had a distant narrator--or should I say narrators in this case since it bounced back and froth from Winifred and Bernie--that just felt hollow. Another reason I disliked it was that it started off strong. The first two or three--possibly even four chapters--were good bordering on great. If you had asked me at that moment of time if I thought the book was good, I would have answered an enthusiastic yes. But as the narrative went on, it lost something. It stopped working (for me). And it became a pale shadow of its promising beginning.

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Baart, Nicole. 2007. After the Leaves Fall.

Waiting is a complicated longing. I lost my father when I was fifteen, and I've been waiting ever since. He was buried on a rainy day in October, and I remember the sound of the raindrops on the lid of the sleek black casket and how it seemed like music to me. The pastor was doing his best to make sorrowful an occasion that seemed anything but--the leaves on the trees above us were burnt amber, the consoling sky around us was velvety gray, and the rain was singing softly. I didn't feel sad. I felt expectant (1).

Julia Bakker's life is a series of losses, disappointments, and complicated longings. Abandoned by her mother, and raised by her grandmother, she is trying to be anything but the orphan-only-to-be-pitied. Spending most of her time as a loner in high school, she can't help but falling for her best friend, Thomas, though he sees her as nothing but a little sister. Thus opens After the Leaves Fall, while the first three or four chapters cover the "back" story, the heart of this story is about Julia's freshman year in college. Make that her fall semester as a freshman in college. She's away from home. She's independent. She's out to prove to herself and to the world that she has what it takes to make it. But does she? Does she really? School isn't everything she thought it would be. Her roommate isn't the new-best-friend she's always wanted. Her classmates, not her new friends or kindred spirits. And her classes? Overwhelming. The workload, the teacher, the homework, the tests....frustrating, overwhelming, overpowering. She is confused in some ways. She's enjoying some aspects of college life--flirting with her TA, Parker, being one of them. But in other ways she's weary and full of doubts. Doubts about herself, her major, her friendships, her relationships, her place in this world. Though Thomas has been in a long term relationship with someone else for years, Julia can't quite part with the fantasy that one day he'll see her for the first time as a woman, as a soul mate, as the woman of his dreams. It's a season of doubt, longing, and weariness. But it's not without hope. Not without joy. Julia's grandmother is an ever-present. Her constant. Her source of strength and comfort. Can her grandmother introduce her to the Eternal God of Comfort?

I loved this book for many reasons. I love the relationship between granddaughter and grandmother. I love the realistic portrayal of life. Life isn't a thirty minute sitcom. It isn't even a one hour drama. There are no tied-up endings. There are no false resolutions. Life is hard. Life is full of choices. Life is rarely what you expect it to be. You rarely get what what you want. But sometimes you get what you need. There are no easy answers, no easy solutions. Everyone is human. Mistakes happen. Life happens. But beneath it all there is hope. There is beauty. there is a promise of hope.

Here is part of my interview with Nicole Baart. You may read the full interview here.

You have a great first sentence, “Waiting is a complicated longing. I lost my father when I was fifteen, and I’ve been waiting ever since.” Did this come easily or did you struggle with getting it just right?

It just came to me. I’ll often come up with a sentence that speaks powerfully to me, almost like a line of poetry. And then I’ll write a story around that one line. It’s probably nuts to construct an entire novel around one catchy phrase, but I’ve done it a dozen times before and I’m sure I’ll do it again!

Julia, at eighteen and nineteen, is struggling with defining who she wants to be and where she fits into the “bigger picture” of life. Yet she isn’t content to be “undeclared” or “undecided” at this stage in her life. At nineteen did you have struggles and doubts about who you were and what you wanted? Were you going through life “undeclared”? Is there anything you know now that you wish you had known then?

I never really thought about it, but yes, I was quite “undecided” at that age. I started college as a pre-veterinary major and I just hated it. However, I had also grown up loving politics so I easily switched to political science--I thought it would be great to get a government job. That also lost its luster, so I switched to psychology… Then I was undeclared for a while, but I felt so purposeless that I forced myself to pick a major and stick with it. I had always wanted to be a writer, but everyone knew that was a total pipe dream (he-he-he!) so I went with English Literature, Spanish, and English as a Second Language all under the canopy of a bachelor of secondary education degree. Funny how God directed my path exactly where he wanted me to be. If I had it to do all over again, though, I don’t think I’d change a thing except for my attitude. It was great to spend time learning about myself, but I was so controlling at the time and so anxious to know who I was and what I should be doing. I should have just relaxed and enjoyed the journey.

When reading the novel, a phrase kept coming to me “Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.” Does Julia have a theme song by any chance? A motto she lives by?

I don’t know that Julia has a theme song, but there were a number of songs that I listened to over and over again as I wrote the book. One of them was “Wheel” by John Mayer. I love the lyrics near the end where he sings: “If you never stop when you wave goodbye, you just might find, if you give it time, that you wave hello again.” I loved that idea of returning with Julia, of finding yourself back at the beginning and knowing so much more now than you did before.

To learn more about Nicole, visit her official site or blog.

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Asher, Jay. 2007. Thirteen Reasons Why.

Hello, boys and girls. Hannah Baker here. Live and in stereo...No return engagements. No encore. And this time absolutely no requests...I hope you're ready, because I'm about to tell you the story of my life. More specifically, why my life ended. And if you're listening to these tapes, you're one of the reasons why....I'm not saying which tape brings you into the story. But fear not, if you received this lovely little box, your name will pop up...I promise. (7)

Before Hannah Baker ended her life with an overdose of pills, she wanted to leave behind a message. She recorded seven tapes--thirteen sides--that revealed bit by bit her drama and why she, in the end, felt like she had no other options. Clay Jensen is one of the tape's recipients. He is our narrator or guide through this listening experience. We hear Hannah's words alongside his thoughts and words. Hers are italicized. His aren't. He came home from school one day to find this package--a shoebox wrapped in paper and mailed--on his front porch. And from the time he first hits play...his life will already never be the same.

I wish I'd never seen that box or the seven tapes inside it. Hitting play that first time was easy. A piece of cake. I had no idea what I was about to hear. But this time, it's one of the most frightening things I've ever done. I turn the volume down and hit play. (9)

Clay Jensen at first feels like it's some kind of mistake. He never did anything to Hannah. He worked side by side with her at the movies. They made small talk. And one night--at a party--they made out. That's it. Why would he be to blame for her death? He couldn't, could he?

As the story unfolds, the reader learns that some actions have unforeseen consequences. A bit of gossip here or there, a rude word there, etc. Some were quite malicious--like her first boyfriend whose imagination got carried away with him. He ruined her reputation after their very first date. And why? Because he liked to talk big with the guys. Or how about the guy who labeled her the hottest a** in class? From then on, guys who were practically strangers tried to get away with grabbing her butt. Or how about the peeping tom who stalked her outside her bedroom window? Some people on the tapes are evident creeps and jerks...others seem more shocking.

Thirteen Reasons Why is without a doubt one of the best books of the year. Why? It isn't because it's sad. It isn't because it's about suicide. It isn't because it's dramatic. It's because it's well-written; it's real. The characters--from Hannah and Clay through all of the minor characters that come up as "reasons" such as Justin and Brent and Jenny--are so real, so well-developed, so human. The story is haunting and it's easy to understand why Clay's life will never be the same. How Hannah's death and life have changed him. Clay couldn't stop until he'd heard the tapes; I couldn't stop from reading til her story was through. It was very gripping, very haunting.

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Barzak, Christopher. 2007. One for Sorrow.

An honest and uncanny ride through the shadows between grief and acceptance. This is how real magic works. --Scott Westerfeld, author of Uglies and Extras

The Westerfeld blurb is one of the reasons I picked up One For Sorrow. I trust Westerfeld. I trust that when he says a book is good, it delivers. I wasn't disappointed with his recommendation this time either. Barzak's story is an odd one I'll admit. It's part ghost-story. The average teenage boy doesn't interrupt his life to become best friends with a ghost and relegate that relationship above all others--even the relationship with his girlfriend/lover. But the story is well-written. Adam McCormick is from a dysfunctional family. His grandmother tried and tried to warn the family that trouble was heading their way, but the only one who paid her any attention was Adam. Then she died. Adam was the one to discover her body in bed. His parents fight ALL the time. His mother and father just don't get it or don't care how their fighting is affecting the rest of the family. There is no respect, no love, no compassion in that household holding this family together. The brother, Andy, is just as bad. All four members of the McCormick family have issues--issues with respect, with anger, with courtesy. The book begins with the murder of one of Adam's classmates, Jamie Marks. The day that his body is discovered by yet another classmate, Gracie Highsmith, is a day that will change his life--his family's life forever. After an argument, his mother in a fit of rage gets behind the wheel to head to the local bar...little knowing that Lucy Hall a drunk who had escaped her own marital problems earlier in the morning was barreling towards her on a collision course. The accident left Mrs. McCormick paralyzed. Talk about adjustments for the family! Within a matter of weeks: Adam is discovered naked in the grave of the murdered student, Jamie; his mother becomes best friends with Lucy; Adam drops out of school completely and gets a lover/girlfriend practically overnight. About the time that he discovers these "sunflower" moments of intimacy he begins to see Jamie on a regular basis. Adam balances his time between hanging out with the living and the dead. Playing video games with a ghost versus making out with his girlfriend while her parents are gone. But then as if it wasn't odd enough already, the ghost starts planning to runaway with Adam. He encourages him to leave the insanity of his home and begin a new adventure with him. Something that sounds all too tempting to Adam who can barely stand to be in the same room with his family. What Adam is searching for is someone who loves him and accepts him and understands him.

Life and death and everything in between. That is what this novel is about. Life is full of choices, and day by day Adam is reaching the point where he'll have to make the big decision--whether he wants to live or die.

What the characters all reveal in one way or another is that while life is far from perfect--in fact it is very messy and raw and ugly--it is WORTH living. Troubles may weigh you down, sorrow may have a hold on you, but it's good to be alive to feel even the pain and sorrow and confusion of life.

Another review of One for Sorrow
More information on One for Sorrow and Christopher Barzak

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Sharenow, Robert. 2007. My Mother the Cheerleader.

There are many words to describe this historical novel: brutal, violent, memorable, harsh, emotional, bold. But even all together, they fail to depict the heart and soul of hatred in the American South for desegregation in New Orleans the year Ruby Bridges begins her first grade school year. Our narrator, Louise Collins, is the daughter of one of the cheerleaders. What is a Cheerleader in this context? Grown women--mothers and wives--who daily stand on the sidewalk, the sidelines, and chant nasty, hateful words to the brave little black girl on her way to school. Louise has never thought about segregation and integration. She only knows that her mother has pulled her out of school. That instead of being overworked with school, she's burdened with caring for her mother's boarders in their boarding house. She's in charge of emptying bed pans and cleaning up after an older man--a legless diabetic--who is grumpy, grumpy, mean. Life might have gone on dismally and stagnant except for the arrival of an outsider--a man, Morgan Miller--who unknowingly changes everything for this family. Who is Morgan? Why is he in town? Morgan was born in New Orleans, he has family there, but he lives in New York. He is here to witness the harshness and brutality of racism. It is a dangerous place to be. The world is a cruel, cruel, place and this atmosphere is deadly serious about staying segregated. There is language--strong language, racist language; there is violence--even sexual violence. So this novel isn't for everyone. But while the pictures it paints are never pretty, it captures the brutal reality of America's past. The good. The bad. The ugly. It is all here.

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Lockhart, E. 2007. Dramarama.

I really don't have much to say about Dramarama. It was good. I'm not saying it wasn't. But it's not really something I got excited about. I think this is the perfect book for those interested in performance arts--singing, acting, dancing, etc. And even if you're not, it still has plenty to offer along typical lines. It is the story of a girl who feels alone, isolated, unsure of who she is and what she wants. She wants to be famous. She wants to be brilliant. She wants to razzle dazzle. But she's just not sure she has what it takes. Many YA titles tackle this issue of esteem and identity. It's also a story about a girl and a guy--a gay guy--her best friend. Their friendship is put to the test time and time again through this drama-camp summer because of her insecurities, jealousies, and obnoxious attitudes. She has a habit of talking-back to her teachers and coaches, and a way of talking behind people's backs about her classmates and roommates. She also makes a habit of making everything about her. All the time. So when things don't go her way, you'll hear about it. Nonstop. Again many YA titles deal with issues of friendship and self-centeredness. And many of these offer whiny heroines. So nothing new there. Did I like the narrator? Sometimes. But mostly I was indifferent. I didn't love her. I didn't hate her. Her friends? Well, nobody was perfect. It was realistic. Our heroine was neither all-victim, or all-abuser. Everyone had a bit of attitude. Everyone talked bad about one another. Everyone was shallow in some circumstances. I think this title will mean more to readers if they have an interest in this subject. If not, then it may seem all too typical rather than extraordinary. Just like you could take these same situations and make it about a girl who loves sports, or a girl who loves to shop and watch Sex in the City.

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