Last week the girls and I vacationed in the Washington, DC area, and were able to get in a few hours at the Smithsonian. As an added bonus we got to see the new Night in the Museum movie at the Air and Space Museum. What a treat! However, this week the series of museums were in the news when a shooter went into the Holocaust Museum with a gun and killed a guard. It was his hatred and feeling of superiority that led him there.

As I’ve mentioned in earlier posts, I’m quite familiar with that type of attitude. In 1964, when I was ten, we moved into the heart of the KKK. My father was made privy to physical acts of violence against African Americans in that year and place. The men who did this had hearts that were warped in a superiority-type of hatred for another group of people.

I’ve become increasingly concerned over the last few days about the issues around legalism. The legalistic idea where we believe we are superior. To my fellow conservatives: have you ever stepped back and looked at our actions?

One story that my oldest daughter told me was about a girl who had been active in church, then got a new boyfriend and eventually moved in with him. Now she is not permitted in church. What???? What is this Body of Believers thinking? Is the church a social club for the “good people”–oh yes, good people, I guess that never sin.

Sin is more than just the outward and obvious. Sin is more about the heart than about outward actions. Remember the Pharisee…they did everything right according to the Law. We could not possibly keep all the rules and regulations like they did. However, Jesus was not impressed with their pure actions, and said their hearts were sinful–just like those men in Fosters, AL in 1964. As conservatives we somehow overlook the heart-based sins, and instead point fingers at those who are in a “sin” that we can see with our eyes.

Just a parting thought: one issue with Hitler and sorts like him was the belief that he was superior to certain people. We know he felt he was superior to the Jews. I would like to submit that when we kick out persons because of their sin, we’re on a deadly track to having that same spirit rise up in us that was in Hitler.

Therefore, my conservative friends, please take heart and examine your heart. When you judge by the length of a person’s hair, skirt, relationships, or the type of praise music and style of worshiping the Lord, etc. you are judging by externals. Turn and allow the Lord to move within you to more understanding, an act of grace, or examine your own heart for the personal issues you need to address.

You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love. The entire law is summed up in a single command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” If you keep on biting and devouring each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other. Gal. 5:13-15.

I think one of the bigger issues this week has been the bill having to do with punishment for people who commit hate crimes. I’ve gotten a couple of pieces of advice from both sides of the debate. I would like to weigh-in a bit on this for my more conservative pals.

If you’ve followed this blog for a while you know that when I was ten we moved from the “north” (Kentucky) to an area just south of Tuscaloosa, AL. I had lived my first years where the integration of schools was simply merging a school rather than a political drama. The drama began (after we moved) in 1964 when my fifth grade teacher asked me about going to school with black student…she actually used the n-word. She asked about “them” smelling and biting. I learned that “them” were hated by the locals. As well the locals believed that “them” could be treated in a sub-human way. Members of my father’s church bragged about the terrible deeds they did to “them”. Members of our church harassed my father for refusing to join their local whites-only club called the KKK.

So here we are 45 years later. I’m finding there is a new “them” out there. I’m a school counselor and one of “my” children told me it was okay to hit, stab or kill a person because they were gay. Certainly a nine-year-old doesn’t just go to bed at night and dream this up without a bit of help from a significant adult in their lives promoting this belief.

I’m not much for making comments on hot political issues, but let me throw this one out for you (my conservative pals) to chew on….

Almost eleven years ago we had the opportunity to speak out for someone who had been injured by a crime borne of hate. Matthew Sheppard was brutally killed and I don’t remember one significant conservative pastor opening their mouth to say “this is wrong!” Instead we were silent…I was silent. Maybe we just wanted to be “us” and if we spoke out against what happened someone might think we were “them.” No clue.

Instead, in our silence there was one “Christian” voice–an evil man who said he represented “us” because in his demonstrations of hate he held signs that stated he was a Christian, and was speaking for God. Because we chose to remain silent, he became the face of fundamentalism and in many peoples’ eyes they think he is one of us…

This bill was written to protect people from him. So when we worry about what the hate crimes bill will do to “us”–we need to first think about what happens when our acts of grace remain hidden. Next, take we need to take our ”grace” temperature. Are we servants who live like Jesus or do we have a political agenda to protect our rights? Grace isn’t a warm fuzzy…it is dying to self so others can see Jesus at work.

I’ve heard rumor will this take away the rights of pastors/Christians who want to point a finger at sin. The answer I have: a person giving grace won’t lose their rights. When we live like Jesus our “rights” aren’t so important. We will take a bullet for them because we refuse to let “them” be harmed. Jesus did it for us…

I am watching The Passion of the Christ with my family. I haven’t seen it in three or four years. As I flinch and tears well up, I cannot imagine someone going through that for me. The other day a few things went wrong in my life…someone has betrayed me in the workplace. Nothing huge, but enough to hurt my feelings. Then another someone someplace got their nose out of joint because of something they perceived I didn’t do. Then my car died with a huge price tag associated with the repair. And I’m a fallen solider.

What little something we get all upset over and Jesus took our sin even when we curse him, moan and groan and complain. When we murmur or get angry (stay angry)…he is right there because he died for our sins.

There is saving grace that comes from Jesus’ death on the cross. The grace that changes our eternity. Then there is common grace that is a daily occurence. Just remember that our daily acts of grace show people who we really are. Are we a hypocritical judge of others or are we doing what Jesus wanted us to do in Matthew 25:35, 36 — For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me

 Supplies available to clients are those necessary items that can’t be purchased with food stamps.

There is something wonderful going on in Dallas. It is an AIDS Service Organization called White Rock Friends…an outreach of the White Rock Community Church and its mission is to support the HIV/AIDS community by offering a variety of programs to assist individuals in their day to day lives. It is more than just your bag of groceries and a pat on the back until next month…

I don’t know who began the program years ago, but right now Douglas Shaffer is the go-to man with all the facts. It was his vision to take this from government red-tape into a program that’s available to meet peoples’ needs. Clients become friends who come to the church facility on Tuesdays (for the store, only) and Saturdays to get their supplies like Pinesol, bandaids, and toilet paper. They can also get clothes and have a wonderful lunch. Daniel is the head chef of these lunches and he has only missed one Saturday in eight years. That’s dedication! Everyone there is dedicated.

Another thing that Douglas realizes is that many times our friends who are HIV+ or have AIDS need food for their pet. Pet food is in abundant supply at White Rock Friends (and so is Emma, the Maltese and mascot of White Rock).

The word in a nutshell for White Rock Friends is caring. Everyone who serves cares for the clients. The clients feel the love. For Valentine’s Day there was an elegant meal of chicken cordon bleu, green bean casserole, dressing, salad (with nice greens), fresh fruit salad, chocolate covered strawberries, cheesecake with caramel or strawberry sauce…and it was YUMMY! My family got the honor of serving food that day. We also got the honor of meeting many of the clients.

If you are ever in Dallas visit White Rock Community Church and find out how you can help this wonderful ministry.

Trans-Siberian Orchestra as photographed by Michael W. Tyler

On Sunday we went to see the Trans-Siberian Orchestra, and with all the lights and acoustics I suddenly felt like I could be on that stage performing. I was dreaming like when I was younger and it seemed like the sky was the limit on what I could do and who I could become. When you are young you don’t think about not seeing a loved one again.

The last twenty-four hours has been nostalgic in that I longed to be back at my grandparent’s house. There were certain things that could only happen there with them like my grandfather calling Santa “Santy”. Or my grandmother always burning the bottoms of cheap biscuits–those you buy in four pack for around a dollar for the four.

Everyone was welcomed at their home. Family members who might not be welcomed anywhere else were welcome to come and have a bite to eat and fellowship. Because my grandparents were peacemakers, no one who had an ought with another got mad at Jewell and Ercie for befriending the other party. This gift has been passed down to my parents as they could have hostile acquaintances come to their table and peace would take over everyone…there was no more family or friend “war”.

This is Christmas Day…the day our Savior was born and it was through him that our sins are forgiven and we are reconciled to God. Today is the day you need to find that loved one who has been outside the warmth of your embrace…if you can’t find them by traditional means search through Google, Facebook and MySpace. Make this a “Lost Sheep Day” and welcome them home.

I started this blog by talking about youth and things we don’t think of such as losing our loved ones. On Christmas Eve morning I lost a friend named Jack. He was a beloved pastor who had the heart of a child and embraced everyone. I’ve known Jack for eight years and suddenly time was gone: time to tell him how much I loved him or how much embodied the grace of Jesus in his everyday life.

On Christmas Eve night a close friend became a grandmother. That baby is just like the baby that comes to everyone. Remember that special love the first time you saw your child, sibling, friend? If you are not in touch…reach out and get in touch TODAY!!! Blessings…

I read in the newspaper about conservative churches being picketed by gay groups. I already knew that $73 million was spent on this election on the gay marriage issue. Thought: WWJD with that much money? That’s a lot of warm meals for hungry people poured down the proverbial toilet. We didn’t have that on the ballot in my state; however, if we did, and if the final tally went against my belief I know that when I got up the next day the sun would still come up and nothing would change because God is still in control. But some people forget that and forget about grace.

There are rumors of all kinds of change that might occur if the gay community got the right for same-sex marriage. One of those rumors is that “kindergarten children will be taught about same-sex marriage.” Answer: Kindergarten teachers don’t have time to teach what they have to teach, and certainly won’t take their time to teach about same-sex marriage. However, most teachers already speak to the hearts of their children and make them feel safe. These teachers will do whatever it takes to make their students feel “normal.” Last year a dear ultra-conservative Christian co-worker had a child with two moms, and she always treated those moms with dignity. So Mrs. K was teaching her students that she respected every parent as well as every child no matter what.

I would like to suggest that God’s heart breaks when we conservatives speak such harsh words about people who believe differently from us. I believe that God wonders how we can experience such grace for our lives and not turn around and hand it out to others.

And talk about the things we make up to try to win people to our side…did you ever hear “the one” about how all gay people want to corrupt our kids and make them gay? Sure you have if you attend a conservative church. Guess what…its a lie. Certainly that myth was in my mind the first time I let my daughter spend the night with a girl who was the daughter of a lesbian couple. But she came home and the only thing that she knew was that her mother (me) lived my faith.

I just want to leave you with this parting thought: 3 John 1:9-11 says: I wrote to the church, but Diotrephes, who loves to be first, will have nothing to do with us. So if I come, I will call attention to what he is doing, gossiping maliciously about us. Not satisfied with that, he refuses to welcome the brothers. He also stops those who want to do so and puts them out of the church. Dear friend, do not imitate what is evil but what is good. Anyone who does what is good is from God. Anyone who does what is evil has not seen God.

In this scripture I believe that God is warning us about gossiping in a manner that hurts people, refusing to welcome brothers, and putting people out of the church; God calls it evil. Therefore, use your words wisely, my dear conservative fellows. God loved us so much that Jesus died for us. For ALL of us.

And $73 million of walls have been built between the conservative community and the gay community. What would Jesus do? Simply read the Gospels and see what Jesus did each and every day.

I’ve been a guest blogger for Practically Paradise with the School Library Journal. Here is the link: http://www.schoollibraryjournal.com/blog/830000283.html Or you can read it here:

Providing a Safe Environment for All Students to Learn

This past summer I was teaching a class of non-white students. It was a marvelous mix of cultures. As we got to know one another, the kids asked the girl from Vietnam if she did nails. Immediately, I realized she was being stereotyped. How many times do we put people into a box? All white people like country music, or all African Americans are good basketball players, or all Hispanics do lawns. The word “all” or “them” implies that someone isn’t part of our group.

One of the more controversial social issues in our American society is the conservative vs. gay community. On parent night we may feel uncomfortable greeting two moms or two dads. Our time-honored ideas are being challenged, and as adults we might immediately think: them. But realize children of these parents come under ridicule from other students; traditional families may not want their children associating with these kids. Yet, it goes beyond simply after-school friendship. Kids may believe this gives them liberty to do things that are harmful, either physically or emotionally.

One day during a guidance lesson on personal safety, a student remarked “it’s okay to hit a gay person.” You can understand from this statement that gay, lesbian and questioning students (or those who feel they are living in a body that isn’t their real gender) are at risk for harassment or bullying. As school professionals we have a commitment to maintain a safe environment for all our students, and be the catalyst for acceptance by their peers.

Sunday, October 12, 2008 marks the 10^th anniversary of the crime committed against Matthew Shepard. For those who cannot remember him, he was beaten, tied to a wooden fence and left for dead in a freezing Wyoming pasture—a crime motivated, in part, because Shepard was gay. FBI stats show there are about 1200 hate crimes committed a year against people based on sexual orientation—that’s 16% of the total of all hate crimes. That figure is the actual crime and doesn’t account for countless incidents of bullying and harassment.

We have the opportunity to educate our students against prejudice in any form, and help end tragedies like the one that happened to Matthew Shepard and countless others like him. Be proactive to protect valuable children who cry when they are teased and bleed when they are hit—they are not a “them” but students with worth and value. They need your watchful eye, your voice and your concern. Select opportunities such as books, stories, and current news to be proactive.

Part 2:

School bullying is an epidemic, and to ignore it is to ignore the single common thread among all the school shootings in America. We school professionals have the power and ability to (metaphorically) strong-arm the oppressor by our position. This “strong arm” is to teach our students to respect and value each other in our differences. By doing this we will probably save a life.

I experienced being bullied when I was a kid, but it doesn’t compare to the pain of seeing my child being bullied by a group of mean girls in the 4^th grade. They stomped her coat and kicked it across the classroom floor (among other things). We told the teacher, but she chose to do nothing. In January we decided to home school because every Sunday night she would become physically ill and would cry herself to sleep. Our beautiful, intelligent daughter felt ugly and stupid, and it took years for the damage of those few months to be put behind her.

How can we not see the bullying happen? You know that student who is being tormented: it’s the child who might use any excuse to not be in class. Or one who won’t make eye contact with certain peers. If you can’t see “the bullied,” you can at least see “the bully.” That would be the mean girl who has a little smile when you tell her she’s upsetting someone. It’s the boy who makes fun of and/or calls other boys “gay.”

Earlier this year California middle-school student Lawrence King was killed because he was gay (link: http://www.nytimes.com/2008/02/23/us/23oxnard.html). The statistics about harassment of gay students are astounding. According to a comprehensive national study, 86.2% of GLBT (gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender) students report being verbally harassed, 44.1% physically harassed, and 22.1% have been physically assaulted at school. Grades are lower and the drop-out rate is high for these students. How can we not see these things happening?

 In a wealthy and liberal school district in California, researchers found that GLBT students are bullied and harassed more than overweight or disabled students. Anti-gay bullying has only gotten worse in schools. Teachers generally will only recommend a student shouldn’t say that about their peer. That lack of force further suggests that being gay is wrong. Here are some facts taken from the Palo Alto (CA) High School Online School Journal (link: http://voice.paly.net/view_story.php?id=437):

• 78% of the total student body has witnessed harassment of gay student;
• 93% report hearing gay epithets (such as “a fag” or “that’s so queer”);
• 51% report hearing anti-homosexual slurs daily;
• One-third of these (GLBT) students are harassed due to their orientation;
• One out of six is beaten where (s)he requires medical attention;
• Gay kids are four times more likely to be threatened with a weapon at school.
• Because 40% of all students at some time experience a degree of same-sex attraction, there is a tendency to over-compensation by striking out against gay students as a means of not being perceived as gay. 

Part 3:

Before I focus on literature I wanted to spend a non-academic moment to address the issue of our belief system. Amid our convictions, we possess prejudices—even if it’s prejudice against prejudiced people. It’s easy to vilify people who don’t believe like we do. For example last night someone stomped the Presidential candidate sign we have in our yard. It is all too easy to get into a “we-them” mentality, because what we believe seems so right.

Here’s a far out analogy that takes it from the thought into experience: I’m left-hand, and the first leftie born in the 20^th century. My grandfather was the only leftie born in the 19^th century. When my aunts taught me how to knit, it was difficult because they could only see it from the way they had done it all their life. They couldn’t identify with my “difference”—but for me it wasn’t a handicap because it was me.

The issue of protecting gay students might be offensive to you and cut across the core of your fundamental beliefs. Therefore, it is quite okay to tell a student you don’t understand, but you’re there for them if they need you. See this issue through the lens of protecting a child from being harmed physically or emotionally; certainly that’s on the radar of everyone’s value system. Making school safe for everyone is part of the mandate from your school system, and probably in the mission statement for your school.

What if someone comes to you for Heather Has Two Mommies? This child will get comfort from the book because there’s at least one other someone out there who has two moms. His situation is normalized as he turns the pages, even though his name is Joe and not Heather. Undoubtedly there’s no difference than when you give a child a book dealing with any other issue you don’t find “in common” in school. Think about those books: the parent in prison, a mom who is bipolar or a dad who is a gambler; in elementary school you don’t read a book to a class about the dad who drinks, but you certainly have the book tucked away for the child who needs it.

Gay teens state they live their life wearing a mask, and they’re in need of a caring adult. Students will look to school librarians to help them find answers. Here is a list of websites and literature you might find helpful (there is a range of literature in here, and some schools and school districts may not permit you accessing it):

• Gay-Straight Alliance Network (www.gsanetwork.org)
• Youth Resources (www.youth.org and www.youthresources.com)
• GLBTQ: The Survival Guide for Queer and Questioning Teens by Kelly Huegel (7^th grade and up).
• Boy Meets Boy by David Levithan
• Rainbow Road by Alex Sanchez, a trilogy for 9^th grade up.
• Gay Christian Network (www.gaychristian.net) is a website for conservative gay Christians. They present both the side for remaining celibate, or to date and find a life partner.
• For parents who come to you, they may be interested in PFLAG (www.pflag.org). This is a group for families and friends of persons who are gay.
• GLSEN (www.glsen.org) stands for the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network.
• Exodus International is a group for people who want to live a heterosexual life (www.exodus-international.org). My note: This is a faith-based group and the research that supports their claims of same-gender attraction change has been questioned, however many students will ask about this program. 
• The Advocate (www.advocate.com) is a national, award-winning gay and lesbian e-zine.
• Tolerance.org (www.tolerance.org) is a project created by the Southern Poverty Law Center. A free Teaching Tolerance Newsletter that is available to educators who are interested in anti-bias issues and new educational materials.
• Open Lives: Safe Schools a book published by Phi Delta Kappa and edited by Donovan R. Walling. It addresses gay and lesbian issues in education.

This week has been prolific with news about gay students. We started the week with the anniversary of Matthew Shepard’s death, then there was the information about the school in Chicago for GLBT teens, and finally actress Hillary Duff has started a new advertising campaign to help stamp out gay slurs. Here’s a link to the CNN video:

http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/living/2008/10/16/phillips.gay.ad.campaign.cnn

My book—And You Invited Me In—began fifteen years ago when I saw that my nationally-known conservative church was not available when our landlord, and fellow church member, died of AIDS. While I’m conservative, I also strongly believe that no matter what the issue, the law of grace trumps everything. That’s the kind of love we possess when we shield our students from a shooter. Everyday there are “word shooters” in our classes. The words might be a look or a sound but they all say the same thing. Don’t let that happen. Be the change agent in your school. Make a difference and you’ll save a child.

Read a review of my book by American Library Association executive council member, Diane Chen. This is from her blog on the School Library Journal: http://www.schoollibraryjournal.com/blog/830000283/post/700031070.html

It has been a month since I’ve blogged. I’m getting settled into a new job and have been working long hours and many weekend days and nights. Last weekend the girls and I went to a church that had none of the perfect qualities that we might desire. My oldest loves worship. My youngest loves peers. I love intellectual sermons that challenge the heart. But for sometime I’ve known that God wants us to visit that church.

This church was the victim of an electrical storm so the scant sound system and overhead had “gone to glory” in electrical terms. The songs were long and not what we like for worship. Other similar issues were like this, and the guest speaker was a preacher who sounded like Tyler Perry’s Madea. Yet in the middle of all of this we were deeply touched by God. My oldest and I both felt like we were swinging in my grandmother’s swing at sundown on a summer’s evening. We haven’t felt such spiritual peace in months.

A couple of days ago I was with my mom and mentioned an older, poor preacher who came to town back in 1991 and his sermon spoke depths into my heart. Once again we were visiting a poor, poor country church that is commonly called “The Little Church” in our area. This man gave me some wise insight that continues to carry me today.

In my book And You Invited Me In there is a character named Miss Lois. She is a real person in my hometown. Family illnesses prevent her from attending church except on rare occasions. However, she reads and prays and has a closer walk with the Lord than anyone I’ve ever come across.

So what is the point of all of this? Finding God isn’t a matter of getting to Atlanta, San Antonio, Tulsa or Houston to get blessed in that mega-church where the pastor sells thousands of books. God is sometimes found in the hidden places. And it is there he has the greatest blessings for our lives. For a moment we might think “no, this can’t be God” but if we rest in Him we will soon find that He is moving mightily in the willing vessels, the pure heart and those who ask nothing but to be with him.

…are the words to a popular Christian song. We sang it at CFO. As we sang I started thinking about grace being enough. You know it’s great to have grace extended to us, and (at those times) grace IS enough for us. Grace was and is all about the work that Jesus did on the cross. Yet in our neck of the woods we tend to enjoy meddling in other people’s business. Call it what you will, but we have an opinion on everything and how people need to do it. It might be the dress Sister Bessie is wearing. It may be the way our friends are raising their children. 

Does a worship service consist of three songs and a prayer, or is it an hour of rocking, jumping and swaying as we become deeply connected with the Lord? I personally don’t care much for Southern Gospel genre of music. Last night I went to a concert that was the Southern Gospel equivalent of Country Music’s Fanfare.  There in the middle of rose-scented talcum powder (no doubt applied with a fluffy puff) and Old Spice After-Shave, I found myself experiencing a little bit of heaven on Earth. I was caught up in the richness of harmony that’s sung (generally) with family.

In our Christian homes, sometimes there is a disruption of harmony. Family will be at odds over the silliest things…my closest friend’s sister-in-law was mad at her mother for four years because of dish detergent. Sometimes it is big: a child or sibling or friend announces (s)he is gay. Oh my…then we get all structure and legalistic on our dearest gifts from God. Then grace isn’t enough. At least grace from us—the grace that says “I’ll love you no matter what” to “until you change you can’t come home”. Maybe there’s even a hint that it would have been better had we died.

So if grace is enough, then grace is enough. Grace isn’t “love the shoes, love the dress” when we honestly hate it. That’s lying. Grace is laying down our expectations, desires, wishes and loving beyond reason. That’s what Jesus did, and it was enough.

I think if it was enough for Jesus, then loving beyond reason and when it is most difficult should be enough for us. And when you love beyond reason…heaven will open no matter where you are. Corrie ten Boom was able to tell the world: “There is no pit so deep that God’s love is not deeper still.” Grace isn’t subtly wrapped in rules or ultimatums. His grace is enough!

While I was getting ready for CFO—working with the name tags and door signs—I discovered I am a bit over-zealous in my organization. So over-zealous that I think I can’t work with people because they begin to cause me to want to tear my hair out. Name tags and doors signs are simple tasks, but I had to wait on someone else who had all kinds of things to do AND was working from someone else’s files. THEN I get to camp and soon discover that I’ve sort of “clicked” my life.

God showed me that in my over-abundance of work and things to accomplish, that I’ve mentally fast-forwarded through things like in the movie Click. I haven’t missed much, but I’ve wanted to hurry and sort of do a Scarlett O’Hara “I’ll think of it tomorrow.”

I’m enjoying the camp. It is a wonderful time to go “farther out” with God. I think there is one in every state. Check out the website: http://www.acfona.org/index.asp?pageId=47

In the late 1970’s I read about a camp—Camp Farthest Out or CFO—where people go to rest with their families and get re-connected to God. I think it was in a book that referenced Jimmy Carter’s sister, Ruth Carter Stapleton. I just remember thinking how I’d love to find this camp. Then in 1982 a friend called and asked if I wanted to help with the youth.

In the council ring meeting (leaders) on the first day I was at camp, I remember a man saying that his kids picked CFO over the World’s Fair in Knoxville for the family vacation, because they loved CFO. I see that playing out now with my own children. My oldest is a youth leader this year. My youngest is so excited she can hardly contain herself, and says she is looking forward to CFO more than the trip to Disney World with her sister in August.

What makes CFO so special is that the power of God is so strong and people are so surrendered and things happen. As a need arises, it seems that someone comes along with a prayer or an answer. There have been times I’ve gone to camp barely able to crawl there spiritually.

This year I have no expectations, but am simply thankful that I can attend. The Lord worked out a summer school substitute and an understanding principal. As well the Lord has provided a fenced area for the dogs and a person to come feed them (I could buy 10 acres of land for what the vet would charge to board 3 dogs and a cat for a week). As well my best friend for the last 30 years is coming. She is very sick—has Lupus and extreme hypertension–but is making the trip down from Virginia. The night before we leave we’re having a house full of teens come over and eat Southern cooking! That means ribs, collards, corn bread and sweet tea.

 (The family on Father’s Day 2008).

There are lots of other exciting things brewing. My youngest is now swimming for a YMCA swim team AND she has won ribbons. She is being called an inspiration by some of the brass at the Y. She is overweight, but gets in there and competes as if she was Olive Oyle. (Did you know that swim meets that are not school-based last for six hours!?!?!). Her sister got her into it and now they are both swimmers.

I’m processing many thoughts as I go along, but haven’t felt compelled to write. I’ve been reading a great deal and sorting through questions. However for now we’re off to camp and time alone and away with God.

In the summer I teach government. At the urging of a student I watched the movie Bobby. It was a such an inspiring film; hearing RFK say good things about our country. As a class we had previously watched a documentary about Watergate–and when Bobby died we got Nixon. At the end of the Bobby there is audio of his speech from April 5, 1968 (the day after Dr. King’s death). The speech was called “The Mindless Menace of Violence”. Here is the quote that struck me:

…When you teach a man to hate and fear his brother, when you teach that he is a lesser man because of his color or his beliefs or the policies he pursues, when you teach that those who differ from you threaten your freedom or your job or your family, then you also learn to confront others not as fellow citizens but as enemies, to be met not with cooperation but with conquest; to be subjugated and mastered….

As I’ve gone through my mail from people who’ve read my book And You Invited Me In, I’ve found that there’s a cry coming from the heart of people who are GLBT. It’s the cry of a broken heart. I know God has heard it, but many of us straight, conservative Christians have not. There is a common theme among those letters I’ve received. Words that come from the soul of GLBT brothers and sisters who cling to their faith in God and love for their conservative family. Here’s an example:

My life is pretty hopeless, I’m gay and I’m an abomination to God…I fear I will lose my family if they ever find out, and it would be more than I could bear. I’ve tried every way to change.

This is a person in deep pain. However, many times our conservative leaders make us believe that GLBT family and friends make a choice to live this life. It is as if they wake up one day and decide they want to hurt everyone in their life. Does this note sound like a person trying to cause hurt and pain? 

Our church leaders use words like “choice” or “political agenda” or “they will molest our children” to drive us to action against “them”, and before long we become afraid of them. Isn’t that what Bobby Kennedy spoke of in his speech? Through the hardness of our conservative beliefs haven’t we disenfranchised this group of people and made it an “us against them”?

I’m very disturbed today by a news item where a well-known evangelical leader said that a certain politician should not be quoting Leviticus because he “should not be referencing antiquated dietary codes and passages from the Old Testament that are no longer relevant to the teachings of the New Testament.”

I’m only taking one statement from a long interview, but how can this same minister then use Leviticus to say that homosexuality is an abomination? The word “abomination” makes love more difficult. This concept of “abomination” or “love the sinner and hate the sin” is retoric for placing chains around another human and making them feel unloved, abandoned…and when the ones on earth who are in charge of giving God’s love to another fail to do it THEN people don’t see Jesus. And we lose.

We know what we lost when we got Nixon. We’ve had nothing but lack of trust in our government for 35 years. What happens when someone loses trust in God? What happens when the GLBT person keeps hearing our crazy coined phrase of “love the sinner”? Because of those ideas and phrases we lose our family or friend, and they lose hold of God.

In I John 4:18 it says “there is no fear in love.” We must live our life where people don’t fear that our love is based on conditions. It is what Jesus was all about.

This is probably part one of a series of thoughts on the heart.

I’ve always been conservative, and keep more of a conservative leash on myself than most people would realize. On the other hand, in the last few years I’ve tried to listen to people on the outside to understand what they are hearing from us. One thing that continues to pop up in commentaries and newscasts is that we conservative Christians are two-issue people: we’re pro-life and anti-gay. And when it shakes out, that’s about where we stand.

A decade ago the above-listed things were the “doom of America” according to the talking conservative heads. Yet, something happens when we make those our only issues…I’ll cover those in a minute….

First, Jesus was all about the spiritual. Pharisees and all those like them were going around making sure every mint twig was tithed and Koshered. Jesus ALWAYS spoke about a person’s heart–so we need to remember that in all we do. It was the giving heart of the widow in the “widow’s mite.” It was the heart of the Samaritan. Let’s put a new twist on the Samaritan for today.

There was a man in Hartford, Connecticut who was hit by a car and no one stopped to help. Many people passed him on the street and didn’t want to get involved. Surely there were many church people who drove or walked past. And God looked down and wondered what was wrong with their hearts that they could ignore someone in pain when all of them had so much–health, material goods, jobs, family, and so on.

I don’t know if America is going to fall or rise. If we fall, I can’t say what will be the magic bullet to kill the nation, but since Jesus clearly spoke about the condition of the heart we need to look inside an examine our ways. Because that’s probably why we’re sinking…

When we isolate a group and make them our modern-day Samaritans, then we disenfranchise this group of people. We make them non-people, and non-people become expendable. Once they’re expendable then you hear a 4th grader say: well, it’s okay to kill a gay person.

If Jesus were to return today he wouldn’t ask any of my conservative fellows about the political issues of the day and how we changed the world by an amendment here and there. He would ask if we treated our neighbors with honor–you know the ones who have just returned from a California wedding. He would ask why we hadn’t been there to wipe the tears of the child we sent away because (s)he was “living in sin”. He would ask how we could forget about his/her pain because God never forgets about our pain. He never sends us away. That would be like the people passing the man in Hartford, and God isn’t like that…

Therefore, forget the outside…look at the heart, your own heart. Listen for the heart of the person you don’t understand. Listen for the cry of their heart.

Yesterday I was in church…well there aren’t many words to describe the way I felt in church. We had a guest speaker who was anything but inspiring. And as well after hearing him, I don’t think anyone would want to be a Christian. Seriously, it was all doom and gloom about the End Times. I have as much ability to stop End Times from happening as I do to stop a freight train. Therefore being scared isn’t they way to approach what is coming. It is sort of like going on a trip: you have to be prepared, and when the time comes then you will have what it take to make the journey.

When I was sharing this with my mother, and we began a discussion that even if we were smack-dab in the middle of evil we’d have to continue to show the love of Christ; then she related this story that I thought was interesting. The whole point to this is that if we knew the context of the scripture as it pertained to the culture, we would have a different take on it. And we were talking about the original Dr. Evil…

If Adolf Hitler lived next door to me, I’d have to show the love of Christ to him. I’d develop a relationship, and then wait for the Lord’s direction on specifics of what I might say or do. And then Mom said “I always had trouble with the verse from Romans.” (Romans 12:20 Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head.) She stated that it was strange that you’d make a person feel bad when you’re doing something nice. However, she told me what it meant back in the day…

Fire was important to life. If your fire went out, then you had to find coals and bring them to your location to start your fire again. Therefore, these coals are life sustaining. So when you give grace (undeserved favor/love) to those who don’t deserve it, then you give them/him/her life. Instead of making them feel bad, they would have life. People want to live, and grace gives life.

Grace is a command. Grace isn’t always fun, and doesn’t always work out pretty. However, God is in control and when you’re doing His will, you can’t go wrong.

…but then grace is difficult. As soon as I write something about grace, then someone close to me pierces my heart. The pain is great and instead of unconditional love, I’d rather have a ten minutes and a two-by-four.

It is so difficult when someone you dearly love has been mean, disloyal, or has stabbed you in the back. But the essence (fragrance) of salvation is that we’re to love in spite of the pain and hurt. We’re to forgive and trust God to change the circumstances or even our heart.

What do you think about the earthquake in China? What about Dafur? What about the Christians in Laos: the pastor who was killed and now his wife continues his church and preaches grace? What about a certain child I know who is dying and his parents don’t have the money for gas to get to the hospital? These are issues that also need our attention.

As a Christian I think we need to be about the Lord’s business, and that means letting those we love know how much we love them…and we need to love them in more than just words. I’ve often heard the scripture from James quoted: “faith without works is dead.” People used it to emphasize the need to cook meals, witness or whatever to show they were/are working for the Lord. Let me put a new twist on it…

If the foundation for our faith is what Jesus did when he died for our sins. Then our faith is based on unconditional love and grace. “The works” would be showing grace and forgiveness to others. Now is a time to show what Jesus is all about. Here’s what the world is hungry for…

The Amish who embraced the shooter’s family. The church in Colorado who embraced the shooter’s family. The woman in Rwanda who has befriended the man who killed her husband and children. This is what the world is crying out for…the very thing that by passes the mind goes straight to the heart and makes people want to be better to their fellow man.

It is my opinion that my faith is only undermined when I set conditions on love. My children are strong in their faith when I’m acting like the Amish with the shooter’s family. The world wants what I have when my actions are like the Amish with the shooter’s family…

In short, there will begin to be battles now that the California Supreme Court has stepped up to the plate. We conservative Christians can fuss and fight, and maybe win politically, but what will we lose?

NOW is the time for all of us who carry the name of Jesus to step up to the plate with forgiveness and grace. Our acts of grace will go to the heart…think about it…practice it everyday…watch the world change.

By Jeremy Reynalds
Correspondent for ASSIST News Service

 ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. (ANS) – It’s a tragedy that Cheryl Moss Tyler’s book “And You Invited Me In” would be considered controversial in most conservative evangelical circles.

Several times a year my mother will report that her fellow churchmen question: Why don’t we have ‘the power’? The Power they’re looking for is the power to lay on hands and a person is healed, delivered, or whatever is needed by the seeker. It would also be The Power to raise people from the dead. Frankly, when I die just let me go on and rest in Jesus arms—don’t be calling me back. That’s just me, and I need to get back to what I intend to say in this blog.

The Power is only two things: unconditional love and forgiveness. From there you’ll be able to witness the nine visible attributes of Fruit of the Spirit from Galatians 5:22-23: love, joy, peace, patience, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness and self-control. There’s no law against these, and people will be able to identify you as a follower of Christ because of these attributes.

Warning! Unconditional love is very difficult, but it’s something that Satan cannot copy. He can’t copy forgiveness either. And that’s The Power…this power might not be able to raise a dead person, but it’s the power that will transform a broken heart, heal a dispute, or resurrect a family.

I live in The South, and as the weather changes we experience tornados all spring and fall. I’ve seen hundreds of after-the-storm interviews on television. The only thing that matters to any of those being interviewed is that their family and friends made it out okay. After the storm it isn’t the gold Cadillac or the Prada shoes that matter.

Once we’re living with Jesus and can look back on this life we’ll see how important relationship is and wonder why we didn’t move quicker to reconcile. In the hereafter it won’t matter what “Sister Susie” thinks. It will only be about how much we did in forgiving and giving grace to the extent that it hurts.

So this Sunday in church think about the richness of relationship. Think about the person in your life who isn’t there anymore because of an “ought”—Bible term to mean “we got mad and haven’t made up yet.” As you reach out to them, forgive and restore, then The Power will come like a tidal wave.

About ten days ago my oldest daughter text-messaged me with a list of physical characteristics she wants in a guy. She asked me to save them, but I forgot and by the time I needed to retrieve them they were gone. Fast forward to last night when we were talking about guys, and if we had arranged marriages in our country who would I select for her. I gave her a list of spiritual attributes I thought she might look for in a guy.

This reminded me of what the Lord looks for in each of us. It isn’t about acts and actions. For example, a person can bake pies for everyone in the country, but if their heart is full of evil then they don’t reflect the love of Jesus. They are only a good pie maker. Let’s get past the pie to the scripture: I Samuel 16:7—But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”

The problem with the religious people of Jesus time was they looked at outward appearances. Jesus was always about what is in a person’s heart. Therefore, the secret things we hide aren’t really a secret from God. And I’m amazed at how many church plum lines are all about appearances. Possibly it’s because you can’t see the heart, and it makes it real difficult to get a fix on motives and desires of a person. As well, when we only consider what’s in the heart, then we have to ”leave it up to God.” We serve a big God who managed to create the entire universe and arrange redemption without our help.

I’ve heard there was a man named Starr Daily who was in prison—in solitary confinement—and was considered to be a sociopath; a man who would never be rehabilitated. From what I’m told Jesus appeared to this man in prison, and within a short time he was released and went on to write books and speak at Christian camps. While I have only heard this, and in part it might be an urban legend, I can speak for my brother-in-law’s experience.

My brother-in-law lived a fast life. A cocaine addict who was the body guard for a dealer in a large US city. After they were all busted and he ended up in jail, Jesus appeared to him on night, and he was immediately delivered from drugs. He’s stayed on a fixed path toward Christ these 25 years. The best testimony comes from his daughter who visited with him for two weeks every summer when she was a child. The year she came to see him after he became a Christian, there was such a change in his life that she committed her life to Christ—and her mother’s home was not Christian.

Jumping back to the top and where I started this blog as it relates to my book, And You Invited Me In—in our conservative Christian effort to convert the world and beat Jesus into people, we overlook the fact that he doesn’t need us. However, he uses us…and that would be as loving examples of forgiveness and unconditional love. Or the things that are inside the heart.

Your “fellow brother of major good works” might be a person with a heart of evil intent. Therefore, we can’t assume that certain groups are lost or don’t know Jesus just because their life is different from ours. As Protestants we can’t assume Catholics are going to hell. As straight people we can’t assume that gay people are going to hell.

First we can’t assume—God never mentions anything about assumptions on the “to do” list. Second we have to work on ourselves and that will take a great deal of time. Next, we have to rewire our thinking to understand that the power comes from forgiveness and unconditional love….and this is where I will stop for tonight, more tomorrow….

Today we launched a redesigned admin bar, the handy toolbar you see at the top of every WordPress.com blog when you’re logged in. We’ve retired the old flat blue look in favor of something that better matches the swanky new WordPress.com dashboard.

Here’s a before and after view:

The new admin bar is designed to command less attention — the previous blue bar had a tendency to clash with some themes. With the new design, the admin bar should recede into the background — available when you need it, not too noticeable when you don’t.

We’ve also included a few extra touches of style for users of the latest-generation browsers with the best CSS support.

Is there a feature of WordPress.com you’d like to see in the admin bar? Would you like the admin bar to be displayed in your dashboard? Leave a comment and let us know how we can make this feature more useful for you.

Now you can customize how avatars show up on your blog, including some cool never-before available options:

You can find these options under Settings > Discussion.

Here’s what you can do:

• Turn avatars on and off, which applies to their display on your blog.
• Choose a rating, which right now only works for Gravatars but as we integrate WordPress.com and Gravatar avatars better will apply to both.
• Choose a default other than blank or the mystery man.
• Laugh manically as you contemplate your new-found power.

I would highly recommend trying out Identicons, which are a cool math-based image idea created by Don Park that’s unique to the commenter, so even if someone doesn’t have an avatar yet they have a consistent (and handsome) image next to their name when they comment.

We’re probably going to make Identicons the default for the dashboard instead of the mystery man, we just need to make a few tweaks to Gravatar infrastructure first. (The generated avatars are CPU-intensive to create, and it’s Sunday, a day of rest for the busy Gravatar servers.)

Also, don’t Identicons sound like something from Transformers?

April absolutely flew, I have no idea where it went.

Here’s what you rascals did last month, with a few new and improved stats:

• 240,494 blogs were created.
• 281,729 new users joined.
• 2,533,704 file uploads. (Y’all use the new uploader a lot more.)
• About 740 gigabytes of new files. (Estimated, better number next month.)
• 317 terabytes of content transferred from our datacenters. (Compare to last time we published transfer numbers.)
• 3,258,032 posts and 1,330,355 new pages.
• 5,775,721 comments.
• 4,903,485 logins.
• 655,178,604 pageviews on WordPress.com, and another 408,359,440 on self-hosted blogs. (1,063,538,044 pageviews total across blogs using our stats system. We broke a billion!!)
• 63,730,680 pageviews in RSS feeds.
• 884,208 active blogs, where “active” means they got a human visitor.
• 152,005,525 unique people visited WordPress.com-hosted blogs.

Random facts:

• About 30% of pageviews go to blogs with their own domains.
• 43% of pageviews to permalink pages.
• 30% of pageviews go to blogs in languages other than English. The most popular? Spanish, Portuguese, and Indonesian.
• 63% of our visitors were from outside of the United States.
• About 93% of pageviews were to people not logged in.
• People logged in somewhere using OpenID 84 thousand times.
• Blogs using the Digg3 theme got 5.26% of total traffic.
• There were 475 posts made via the Atom API (234,831 with XML-RPC).
• We sent 3,761,059 emails.

So many of our stats fall along 70/30 lines it’s scary.

Now for the juicy bits. Behold! Monotone.

Imagine a theme for photoblogging where every page looks like it was designed to match the picture. Monotone is a chameleon, it does sophisticated analysis of the image you upload to determine a complementary color scheme. The width of the page also changes based on the width of the photo.

You can see the demo site by clicking either of the images above.

Monotone takes the first (and only the first) image from your post and does its magic. Just make sure to select “full size” when you insert it. (The images must be uploaded to WordPress so we can resize them and extract out the colors properly. It also does best with BIG images.) The rest of the text is put below like a regular post. It only ever shows one post per page, but dig those archives.

A cool new theme, a new uploader, gigabytes of free space — you now have no good reason not to start a photoblog. Show the world what you’ve got. A week from today, if I remember, I’ll link to the coolest blogs using Monotone and will send literally dozens of viewers their way. Noel Jackson was the man behind the magic and we’re continuing to work with him on some top-secret projects.

Given the recent news that WordPress.com might be blocked in Brazil, we would like to share some information about the case and our response.

A Brazilian judge ordered that one blog hosted at WordPress.com should be blocked in Brazil. A local ISP association mentioned it would do so via IP address blocking, something that would compromise access to WordPress.com in Brazil and would not block the blog.

We filed a motion on Monday, explaining, in essence: a) how our service works; b) our terms of use and US laws apply to content hosted on WordPress.com; c) we oppose censorship and will not take down the blog ourselves unless it violates our terms of service; d) the best ways to handle the blocking of this blog in Brazil without compromising the access to WordPress.com.

The terms of the lawsuit are confidential so we cannot disclose all the information we would like at this time, such as the names of the parties involved or the blog address.

We are represented in the case by Marcel Leonardi, a Brazilian attorney, law professor, and cyberlaw scholar. He is working on the case pro bono on behalf of the WordPress.com community.

We hope to have this matter resolved within a few days and will keep you updated.

Português Brasileiro

Em virtude das notícias recentes a respeito do possível bloqueio do WordPress.com no Brasil, nós gostaríamos de compartilhar algumas informações sobre caso e nossa resposta.

Um juiz brasileiro determinou que um blog hospedado no WordPress.com deveria ser bloqueado no Brasil. Uma associação local de provedores de serviços de Internet mencionou que isso seria feito por meio de bloqueio de endereço IP, algo que comprometeria o acesso ao WordPress.com no Brasil e não bloquearia o blog.

Apresentamos uma petição na segunda-feira, explicando, em síntese: a) como nosso serviço funciona; b) nossos termos de uso e as leis norte-americanas se aplicam ao conteúdo hospedado no WordPress.com; c) não aceitamos censura e não removeremos o blog a não ser que ele viole nossos termos de uso; d) quais são as melhores formas de lidar com o bloqueio deste blog no Brasil sem comprometer o acesso ao WordPress.com.

Os termos do processo judicial são confidenciais e não podemos revelar todas as informações que gostaríamos neste momento, tais como o nome das pessoas envolvidas e o endereço do blog.

Somos representados neste caso por Marcel Leonardi, advogado, professor de direito e pesquisador de temas de Direito e Internet no Brasil. Ele está trabalhando no caso gratuitamente, em nome da
comunidade WordPress.com.

Esperamos resolver este assunto dentro dos próximos dias e manteremos vocês atualizados.

(My apologies if I messed up the formatting of any of the Portuguese above.)

Blog posts can be a total tease. You get to the end and you’re ready for more, but all that’s there is maybe some post navigation, and if you’re lucky a few comments. If your appetite was whetted by the awesome post you just read there’s no place for you to go, except maybe to a search engine to look for terms around what you just read.

Post or permalink pages probably account for about half of the pageviews on your blog.

One of my favorite things about Youtube is that you can start with a single video and then see something else interesting in the related videos and you lose yourself and next thing you know it’s four in the morning and you’re watching disco pilates videos. My fancy term for this is lateral navigation. (Which the rest of the world seems to think has something to do with flying.)

Well now you can have that same experience across WordPress.com.

In a feature we’re calling possibly related posts we’ll now try to show posts related to yours a little section at the end. If we find any posts on your blog that are related, we’ll put those at the very top and in bold. Next we’ll show other posts from around WordPress.com, and finally we’ll check if there’s anything in the mainstream media.

The result is a handful of links that should provide you and your visitors something interesting to check out. On blogs that cover the same topics frequently related posts could cause a 5-10% increase in traffic overnight. You could also start to see traffic from lots of other blogs. It’s a bit of an experiment, and we’ll be tweaking it a lot based on your feedback and the data that we collect once everything is live.

Right now this is just for English blogs, but we’re working on the technology to roll this out for every language we support. We’ll also be adding some ways for you to tweak the results to your liking.

If you want to remove the related posts from your blog entirely, just go to Design > Extras and check the box to do so. But if you remove related posts from your blog we’ll remove you from other people’s blogs, so you won’t get traffic from that.

We hope you like this new feature, that we developed in partnership with our good friends at Sphere, and that it nets you a more interesting reading experience and maybe a bit more traffic.